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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Love GF, but she never wants to have sex      Home login  
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 Darkhawk36
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 26
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sexPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
As to my experience, she's already cheated on you. OR... she thinks of you more as a "friend" (that's the kiss of death right there) or even worse a "brother"....

When women consistently refuse sex from someone they supposedly love, they just don't love you.
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 27
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 2:51:05 AM

Welcome to married life / or long term relationship life or whatever...

Your girlfriend has it wrong - women love sex just as much as men. She just doesn't like it with you anymore. As it sounds like you put in good effort to get her going, I'm going to have to assume she's just not attracted to you or as she's young maybe she's just gotten bored. I believe sexual intimacy is actually an important part of a relationship, and from the sounds of this, it's not going to get better for you and her. So you need to truly figure out what has caused her to move away intimately and then decide if you can deal with its being that way, or if you need to move on.


There are a lot of couples who have no sex at all, or very little, and are doing very well.

That said, it only works when both people in the relationship are on the same page. In OP's case, he isn't getting what he wants.

You should ask her, be totally honest, what the issue is. Since she was having sex with you often when the relationship started, it's unlikely he's asexual. You need to know what the problem is to see if it can be fixed. If it can't, you'll either have to get used to not having sex; something most can't do while still maintaining their sanity, or leave her.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 28
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 9:28:19 AM
When I've stopped being interested in sex it was because I was no longer attracted to the person and/or I had resentment about how I was being treated in the relationship (but mostly it was the dwindling attraction to the person that made me disinclined to do it).
 olderwiserhappier
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 29
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 9:34:33 AM
All longterm relationships have ups and downs. You're both very young. When people mature their choices, likes/dislikes change dramatically. I don't believe she's being honest with you. Perhaps she wants something/someone other than you and just can't bring herself to tell you. Perhaps she wants to break up but is afraid of being alone. Either way, it's not fair to you or to her.

You've gotten some very bad macho advise on here, (sorry guys, JMHO). Playing games by trying to make her jealous is NEVER a good idea. It's childish and immature and is no way to deal with the huge problem in your relationship.

Explain to her that you love her deeply but your needs aren't being met. If she has a physical problem then she needs to address that with her OB/GYN. She needs to be open and up front with you as to what she thinks the problem is. If she can't do that, seek couples counseling, you've invested 3 of the best years of your life with her.

Good luck to you young man.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 30
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 10:58:43 AM
I agree with FairOaks......msg 30.

Take the S off from sex, and you have ex.
 Mr.Roboto26
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 31
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 3:49:13 PM
Time to confront her and ask her why she refuses to have sex with you.
 Hapworth
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 32
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:47:02 PM

doing something out of the norm ( Kiss her against the wall and run your hand up her thigh and into her, for instance)


Sweet! Now I just need to find a woman...and a wall!
 Vx24
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 33
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:28:53 PM
The best thing is to prepare to end this. She is snowing you. many women and men have hidden beliefs about sex and how it is supposed to be. This sounds like a belief system at work. Leave her. She is doing the bait and switch. Many people do this of all genders. The are sexual until they are in a relationship. Then the belief system takes hold. Love yourself enough to leave this and move on.
 eattoplease55
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 34
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 5:44:01 AM
Hmmmm...shes got issues...and from experience IF you done get a handle on it......trouble will follow.....doesnt matter wether you love her or not.....in a relationship.....the physical is the glue to keeping everything together....the time spent with each other in that respect is important.....hope you can work it out....good luck!
 IntergalacticGuy
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 35
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 5:56:41 AM
She is either dreaming of another man, or woman, and no longer wants you.. Dump her ass.. There's four billion women in the world, dont settle for one who likes to say "no"
 40Golfer
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 36
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:05:36 AM
Dump her is she is not into you and things will just get worse.
 kammann
Joined: 8/28/2011
Msg: 37
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 6:18:02 PM
shes either losing interest or has lost interest altogether. or she has some sort of hormonal imbalance. i have a good friend who a couple years ago had a gf who did the exact same thing to him....they started off hot and heavy and then a year after the relationship started it fizzled out completely because she ended up seeing him as more of a friend then lover. maybe shes already seeing someone else. i dont wish to scare you....but rather only elude to the possibility. like others have said.....if shes not getting her cookies dunked at home then shes probably been having them dunked elsewhere and is just not sure how to break it to you. or shes considering it but hasnt done it quite yet. maybe she thinks she wears the pants in the relationship. there is only one way to really fix this. sit her down and talk with her and tell her that you feel your needs are NOT being met whatsoever and ask her what the deal is, if shes just hormonaly imbalanced then she needs to see her obgyn. if shes lost interest in you hopefully she will have the courage to admit it. if its the later and not the former then do the best thing you can do and walk away.
 THANATOSRISING
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 38
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 7:19:31 PM
simple Get rid of her. She has you spending money but not getting any ****. Get rid of her and get another ****.
 WHYYOUPLAYINMA
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 39
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:18:23 PM
she has another****! sorry budd!!
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 40
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:05:32 PM
They say some women that have mental dissorders take meds that kill their Libido.
 Makonnen
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 41
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/4/2013 1:30:24 AM
it could be boredom or someone else. these things do happen.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 42
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:18:27 PM
Not at all, but the topic is about a woman that never wants sex, if she has a mental dissorder and is on certain meds that could kill her libido we are talking about things that might cause this. Did you read the whole thread ?
 japaul33
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 43
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:37:54 PM
DUDE I DEALT WITH THIS WITH MY EX
THE ISSUE IS HER LACK OF ATTRACTION TO YOU

DUMP HER NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN BEFORE SHE DUMPS YOU

ONCE SHE DECIDES TO DUMP YOU SHELL START BEING DISTANT
 Sweetheartedness
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 44
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:22:05 AM
There could be many reasons she doesn't like it anymore. I love sex, so she is wrong about women not liking it as much as men.

1. Maybe she is not letting go enough. When I was young, I didn't know how to let go and enjoy the experience and my body. If she has ever been victimized by anyone, this would also make letting go for enjoyment purposes harder. Do some research and see if she needs something you are not doing. For young girls, they like the love songs, flowers, and it is all about the build up. Shouldn't have to happen that you spend lots of money all the time, but maybe she needs more romance to make it all enjoyable.

2. Find out what she likes. If she is uncomfortable about talking about it, then have her write it down. Don't make her feel bad if it doesn't make any sense to you, just encourage her to communicate with you. This is the best way. There could be one thing that she just is having a hard time conveying to you.

3. Sometimes it is as easy as changing your cologne. Young girls have a very sensitive nose and they need to have all senses heightened. Make sure that you skin is as soft as possible, you smell good, you look good, and you make her feel like a million bucks.

4. Young girls have been told by men in their lives (Dad, brother, grandfather) that sex is wrong. Maybe she feels "wrong" when having sex. I don't know what to do in this case. She has to be willing to make things different. Communication is the key.

I think you should try and talk to her about it. Don't make her feel bad, but make sure that she knows that sex is important to you, and ask her what YOU can do differently to make her want and enjoy it more. Make it about her.....

Hope this helps.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 45
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:16:30 PM

we have like sex 2 or 3 times a month, and im not the kind of guy that would dump a girl for the lack of sex

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but whatever the reason behind it, it is only going to get worse.

I couldn't live like that.. more power to you.
 ItsNotATumaaa
Joined: 9/5/2012
Msg: 46
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:42:08 PM
She's not attracted to you anymore. And she may still "love" you, but it doesn't sound like she's "in love" with you. The reason she is hanging out with you all the time still is because she is a young girl and likes the comfort of a man; she is just staying with you until another guy comes along and takes your place. She is too afraid to be on her own and heal like a normal person, so she will end up cheating on you and then dump you for the other guy.

Get used to this in your early twenties.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 47
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:41:30 PM
Allot of times once a woman gets the man she wants and thinks every thing is secure the game begins . She figures she has you no matter what . So even if she treats you like sht you will say with her , unless she is having sex with some one else . If that were to be the case my reaction would be to terminate the relationship and all contact .
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 48
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/8/2013 8:14:12 PM
"she said is 'girls dont like sex as much as boys',"

We could say that, in general, men don't like chocolate as much as women. However, a man who wants to get a woman's attention will give her chocolate whether she likes it or not.

Physical intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together.

People expect their partner to be faithful but then don't take care of their needs. Imagine if your partner said, "I only want you to eat at home but I'm not going to feed you very often and when I do feed you, I'm mostly going to make bland meals and only make your favorite meals occasionally when I'm in the mood." We'd think that was pretty ridiculous. But that's what people do with sex. Then they blame the "cheater" if they finally decide to fill their needs elsewhere.

I say if she's selfish, it's time to move on. Or get used to being semi-celibate. Don't expect it to get better.

You're too young for that. Of course, it's unacceptable at any age. Find someone whose libido more closely matches your own.


Allot of times once a woman gets the man she wants and thinks every thing is secure the game begins . She figures she has you no matter what


Just so you know, men do this, too. I know. That's what my ex-husband did. He was an affectionate, considerate lover until we got married, then rather abruptly quit caring about my needs. I put up with it for 18 years - waaay too long.
 Michaelidare
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 49
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/9/2013 11:29:35 AM
One of the things people don't understand is that to verbalize a problem you are talking with the head. Usually the problem is a disconnect with the body. Women tend to be more excited about sex in the beginning in a sense enabling the relationship. She really would have a secondary agenda and used the sex to get to the secondary. You as the male now realize something is wrong and now because she enabled she lived a lie. This now makes her want to have sex less because she lived that lie. The problem is enabling. If you enable you have a hidden agenda. She did that to you and the best way to get out of this is not to discuss back and forth because her head would not allow her to reveal her lie. Don't ask her questions you know she won't answer truthfully that would only make the problem worse. What you do is get her to do creative things with her HANDS! HAVE HER DRAW PICTURES FOR YOU! The hands tie into the heart and as she creates things with her hands this will also bring the heart to the head for a better connection. Also then do things that involve walking and moving the legs that stimulates the sexuality in the pelvis. As you are doing these things you are going to be using your hands to create and your sexuality will be stimulated by walking. Soon without any verbal communication the problem will eradicate itself. When people try to fix things with the mouth all they get is resentment. Let me know how this works for you...

Praise I AM,
Michael Idarecis
 Baron1644
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 50
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/10/2013 6:49:38 PM
Just a few words :
Run as far as possible from her.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Love GF, but she never wants to have sex