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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Love GF, but she never wants to have sex      Home login  
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 rwest1998
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 10
Love GF, but she never wants to have sexPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i went through this for about a year and she could never give me a true answer until about 3 months ago i told her i could not do this anymore thats when she told me she was now atracted to women and that she was sorry that we had wasted 3 years. im still trying to get over it
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/28/2012 6:19:33 AM
No...it's good advice. Then she'll realize, "Hey, I really like him after all." or..."Who cares". Then he'll know. Women need jealousy and drama. It brings out the feelings. She is testing him to bring out his feelings. She would rather see him get angry over not having sex than to not get angry at all. No sex. She's testing him.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 12
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/28/2012 10:13:07 AM
to me woman love sex for the first few months then it dead city and your lucky to get it once our twice a month i think a lot of woman hate sex and only use it to get what the want out of a man then they get bored and move on to next best thing and all the talking in the world wont do any good now when sex dies down i just run away as to save drama and bs
 vintagecarlover
Joined: 11/19/2012
Msg: 13
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/28/2012 11:17:52 AM
I know that feeling my brother. what a dilema, eh? heres a cpl of ideas:
pull up this posting for her to read and ask her to comment...or discuss it.
ask her if its okay if you get a lil bit from someone else? its unnatural for any animals, especially humans not to hump someone.
get some coupls counseling
get some porn to watch as a cpl
do you live together? start inviting female friends over for dinner for both of u?
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/28/2012 3:44:40 PM
Asarat11, You're correct. It won't bring out the love emotion but if she don't have it now, she won't get it later not after 3 years. You're correct, it does bring out the jealous insecurity. I'm not saying to get her jealous to get her to love him but for him to know just where he stands. You and I know she's currently in control and she see's him as weak and of low value or status. He does need to move on. Why waste even more time?
 Ken_19
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 15
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/28/2012 6:30:55 PM
First, she isn't being honest. In my experience most women enjoy good sex just as much as the guys. Note the qualifier in that sentence.
Simply put, consider moving on to a woman who doesn't say no every time or at least will be more honest about what the problem is.
 Darkhawk36
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/29/2012 8:42:09 AM
As to my experience, she's already cheated on you. OR... she thinks of you more as a "friend" (that's the kiss of death right there) or even worse a "brother"....

When women consistently refuse sex from someone they supposedly love, they just don't love you.
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 17
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 2:51:05 AM

Welcome to married life / or long term relationship life or whatever...

Your girlfriend has it wrong - women love sex just as much as men. She just doesn't like it with you anymore. As it sounds like you put in good effort to get her going, I'm going to have to assume she's just not attracted to you or as she's young maybe she's just gotten bored. I believe sexual intimacy is actually an important part of a relationship, and from the sounds of this, it's not going to get better for you and her. So you need to truly figure out what has caused her to move away intimately and then decide if you can deal with its being that way, or if you need to move on.


There are a lot of couples who have no sex at all, or very little, and are doing very well.

That said, it only works when both people in the relationship are on the same page. In OP's case, he isn't getting what he wants.

You should ask her, be totally honest, what the issue is. Since she was having sex with you often when the relationship started, it's unlikely he's asexual. You need to know what the problem is to see if it can be fixed. If it can't, you'll either have to get used to not having sex; something most can't do while still maintaining their sanity, or leave her.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 18
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 9:28:19 AM
When I've stopped being interested in sex it was because I was no longer attracted to the person and/or I had resentment about how I was being treated in the relationship (but mostly it was the dwindling attraction to the person that made me disinclined to do it).
 olderwiserhappier
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 19
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 9:34:33 AM
All longterm relationships have ups and downs. You're both very young. When people mature their choices, likes/dislikes change dramatically. I don't believe she's being honest with you. Perhaps she wants something/someone other than you and just can't bring herself to tell you. Perhaps she wants to break up but is afraid of being alone. Either way, it's not fair to you or to her.

You've gotten some very bad macho advise on here, (sorry guys, JMHO). Playing games by trying to make her jealous is NEVER a good idea. It's childish and immature and is no way to deal with the huge problem in your relationship.

Explain to her that you love her deeply but your needs aren't being met. If she has a physical problem then she needs to address that with her OB/GYN. She needs to be open and up front with you as to what she thinks the problem is. If she can't do that, seek couples counseling, you've invested 3 of the best years of your life with her.

Good luck to you young man.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 20
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/30/2012 10:58:43 AM
I agree with FairOaks......msg 30.

Take the S off from sex, and you have ex.
 Vx24
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 21
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:28:53 PM
The best thing is to prepare to end this. She is snowing you. many women and men have hidden beliefs about sex and how it is supposed to be. This sounds like a belief system at work. Leave her. She is doing the bait and switch. Many people do this of all genders. The are sexual until they are in a relationship. Then the belief system takes hold. Love yourself enough to leave this and move on.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 22
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:05:32 PM
They say some women that have mental dissorders take meds that kill their Libido.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 23
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:18:27 PM
Not at all, but the topic is about a woman that never wants sex, if she has a mental dissorder and is on certain meds that could kill her libido we are talking about things that might cause this. Did you read the whole thread ?
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 24
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/8/2013 8:14:12 PM
"she said is 'girls dont like sex as much as boys',"

We could say that, in general, men don't like chocolate as much as women. However, a man who wants to get a woman's attention will give her chocolate whether she likes it or not.

Physical intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together.

People expect their partner to be faithful but then don't take care of their needs. Imagine if your partner said, "I only want you to eat at home but I'm not going to feed you very often and when I do feed you, I'm mostly going to make bland meals and only make your favorite meals occasionally when I'm in the mood." We'd think that was pretty ridiculous. But that's what people do with sex. Then they blame the "cheater" if they finally decide to fill their needs elsewhere.

I say if she's selfish, it's time to move on. Or get used to being semi-celibate. Don't expect it to get better.

You're too young for that. Of course, it's unacceptable at any age. Find someone whose libido more closely matches your own.


Allot of times once a woman gets the man she wants and thinks every thing is secure the game begins . She figures she has you no matter what


Just so you know, men do this, too. I know. That's what my ex-husband did. He was an affectionate, considerate lover until we got married, then rather abruptly quit caring about my needs. I put up with it for 18 years - waaay too long.
 Baron1644
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 25
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/10/2013 6:49:38 PM
Just a few words :
Run as far as possible from her.
 Seraphial1
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 26
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:31:36 AM
I hear this! Women truly do love sex as much as men, but you have to keep it exciting and not all about you and what makes you orgasm. It is about keeping the excitment alive. Yes, finances do play an important key, especially if you lose your job or practice / business. You are no longer the man she was attracted to and the lifestyle is no longer affordable, sad but true ... And when she tells you to fold the page and move on, well chances are she already has ....
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 27
Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:54:22 AM
It could be many things, has she gained a lot of weight? If, so she might not consider herself attractive to you.
Have you gained weight or changed your appearance? Maybe she isn't attracted to the person you've become.
Do you guys go out on dates, do romantic things? If not, start now.
Do you guys have a lot of stress? Financial issues, job issues?

If it's none of the above, take a real hard look at the relationship, I'll bet you'll see that she is just not that into you anymore. You will then have to make a choice, stick with her until she dumps you or have an amicable break up now and move on with your lives...
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 28
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/11/2013 12:31:48 PM
At her age she may not know what is wrong. Does she feel taken for granted out side of the bedroom? Do you treat her speacial? Still just do little things like tell her she is pretty? She might feel like sex is most important and not that she is important. You might want to try to just do little things to bring a little romance back. Did u have cute names for eachother u dont use any more. If she feels u have lost interest in her she will lose interest in the bedroom. If you treat her like just a friend, like one of the guys, that is what will happen. Or it could be that she isnt having an orgasim. So try those first ;)
 mark777771
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 29
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Love GF, but she never wants to have sex
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:45:46 PM
well she has lied to you. When you first met you said you had tons of sex. Then later she says women dont want to have sex as much as men. She is talking out of both sides of her mouth. I'd be more concerned about the lying than the lack of sex
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