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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 26
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"Then one day WHAM! No contact and no explanation. AND he was overseas at the time."
OP that would have been enough for me. That IS a statement in itself. You no longer needed convincing.

"I emailed, texted and called with no response. Finally I deleted his number. It was a way not to think about him anymore and move on."

OP This was confirmation number two! Follow your heart my dear. You were on the right track.

"I felt very hurt by how he treated me. I would just never do that to someone. I would at least say, hey, we both know this long distance thing isn't working out for whatever reason."

OP This was your reminder of what type of man he is regardless of a Christmas text or not.

" I should also note that I found several different internet dating accounts after he broke contact and he appeared to be active on most of the major ones."

OP He moved on and so should you. Never allow yourself to become second fiddle or the back burner to any man.

His text was likely a send to all of his lovers and you happened to be one of them. Curiosity had you call back and now you know. If I were you I would ignore him for the rest of my life but that's just me. You can find better. It wasn't love you found, you found a man who love's only himself.
 JMA75
Joined: 7/22/2012
Msg: 27
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/29/2012 3:22:41 PM
Men do delete numbers. I have texted many guys and their response were " who is this?"
 JMA75
Joined: 7/22/2012
Msg: 28
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/29/2012 3:23:09 PM
Men do delete numbers. I have texted many guys and their response were " who is this?"
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 29
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/29/2012 4:01:03 PM
Dump that loser! u r pretty w/ long hair & a cute figure, but u need a profile review and new pics/descriptions! All the best for 2013!
 countymike
Joined: 3/10/2012
Msg: 30
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/29/2012 4:14:32 PM
He is a moron !!!
 flavia2587
Joined: 9/26/2012
Msg: 31
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/30/2012 4:42:31 AM
That really sucks why do guys do that one minute your dating the next no response not even atext even when you tryto call. when you finally decide your done, they walk back into your life and pretend nothing happened and at a moment of weakness your stupid enough to let them back in only to do it all over again so not fair
 tampasmiles
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 32
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/30/2012 5:47:10 AM
It seems that is was a group text...and nothing more...
If it was to play games with you...or to get lucky...he would have responded because there wouldn't have been serious feelings attached to the text when he sent it...and guys won't ignore you if they are horny and they don't have other options which are better than you.
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 33
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/31/2012 10:41:56 AM

Then on Christmas day, he texted me, "Merry Christmas!!" .... He never responded to my return text.


like other responded... it was a mass text to many others.... not only you.


I did get several of those on Christmas but there were no other numbers like he sent it to a group.

stop trying to rationalize it.... you can send BCC text to many... so that you do not see the numbers of others! simple.... but you should not even have to even think of that, and wonder why.... you should simply MOVE ON.


very dumb behavior on his part if that's the case.

why even attempt at criticizing him... move on! Why is it dumb?? he is marketing himself... and he sends to 100's, and waits to see who responds. It's not DUMB, it's part of fishing. Women do exactly the same thing, by keeping many guys in the background... in case #1 or #2 guy does not work out. It's called seeding, then wait to see what will spruce up!
it's Marketing pure and simple.


Men don't delete numbers from their phone like women do.

True, cuz we don't care to erase women's number as if we are going to teach her a lesson, like women do with men.
And on the other hand, it's good to keep them, when suddenly a crazy one decides to call or TEXT, we know who it is, and have the choice to SAY "who is this".... and this way we never hear from them again, becasue they got offended that we supposedly "forgot" who she was and supposedly deleted her number . Women are WAY TOO emotional about the phone numbers things! We are not... we don't have time to go through the lis a selectively delete numbers, just like I would not go through the "paper phone book" to erase or black out the names of exes.


Why are you giving him any of your time in thinking about this???.

exactly... you have to learn to build a thick skin!


Delete his number again. He's done.

Why? next time you will know immediately who it's coming from, and you can simply ignore it, ..... instead of wondering, then calling the number, and then hearing his voice... then go through a series of emotional BS in you head..... keep the number... and move on. That's why caller id is a great thing... to instantly filter... instead of wondering who it is!


and purchase the book "He's Just Not That Into You!
..... bingo! it works both ways!


Do what I do and respond with....why the hell didn't you delete my number when we stopped talking

what??? Nooo don't do that, because you are then engaging him and telling him that you are pissed.... showing that you still care.... that would show that you are more intent on HURTING HIM BACK, like he hurt you. Just childish, and vindictive! As I stated above, Keep the number, then when you see a text from him, Simply don't respond!


I always pretend that I don't remember them.

exactly my point above!


This rude behavior has nothing to do with me since I have many friends who have experienced it also.

stop it! Why try to teach the mass population manners?? Who cares.... build a skin... he is not for you! The more you talk about it, the more involved you are with it. Guys get rejected, ignored by women all the time.... "rude behavior" yes.... but we keep moving on nevertheless.


Men do delete numbers. I have texted many guys and their response were " who is this?"

And you believe it??

Sending "who is this" to a woman does not (always) mean that he deleted her number, but sometimes means "GO AWAY" cuz he knows who it is!... And he knows that she will take that response personally! "oh he already forgot about me... so I won't respond" It's called reverse Psychology. "How to get rid of someone with soft blows or HINTS". Women HINT to men all the time, but when men HINT back (positively or negatively) women don't get the clue... cuz they want to READ more into it!

In general, MEN don't erase numbers. We are not emotionally attached to phone numbers. Information is power.... And knowing that WOMEN will take offense to "who is this", it becomes the perfect arsenal response to get rid of a woman we don't like! The offended woman should/will immediately stop texting him back, out of simple PRIDE! Some Women do the same thing to men! It's just a game! People can't be honest, and are more intent of "hurting" back with little digs!

Happy new year!
 gnosisM
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 34
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/31/2012 11:02:49 AM
WHY do men do this sort of rude behavior?

just a clarification, not all men behave this way. We ought to keep in mind that both men and women, respectively, are programed to behave a certain way. Don't take my word for it, just go to The Context Institute web site and search for the article by Herb Golberg called "The Gender Trap" . It's unfortunate we have become this way, and sad to see that most men and women remain unaware of the degree in which our gender programming often becomes the governing force of our misbehavior and the extent in which it brings the evolution of humanity at a snail's pace.
 Jadeite19
Joined: 11/16/2012
Msg: 35
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/31/2012 11:21:45 AM
Mike215215, It appears that you didn't see that I actually did text him back "Who is this?" And by calling to find out who it was, there was the dig that I did indeed delete his number. 'Nuff said about this. I was over it when I erased his number.

Erasing a number is way of saying, not interested in going back. And when someone calls that their number isn't in my phone, I don't answer the call. They have to leave a message in order for me to know who it is. I only asked who is this on Christmas because I got several other mass texts that day and there were people responding Merry Christmas cross texting. I was surprised to hear from him. But not too surprised. The men who date me virtually always come back around. I'm just not there when they do. No time for all that.

Just wondering why men feel the need to "market" themselves after the fact. Don't come marketing yourself when you already ruined your product by acting like an azz the first time. No amount of "marketing" will get you back into my good graces after acting like I didn't exist to begin with. He wasn't the guy for me and I realized that 8 month ago. Y'all act like I'm screwing the world up by looking for reasoning behind bad behavior. Maybe y'all are all right about that. There is no explanation other than some people had no decent raisin'. And men like that are beneath me from the start.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 36
view profile
History
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 1/1/2013 5:31:31 PM
i also received a merry christmas, and then h.n.y text w/ a bunch of yadayada, i did not reply to either.
i am doing NO CONTACT...i want none from this ass clown that did future faking w/ me for six months.

no contact is a good thing
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 37
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 7:34:36 AM
This just happened to me, but I didn't want to start a new thread about it. A man I once dated and broke up with, whom I hadn't seen or had any contact with in over five years, recently sent me a "Merry Christmas" e-mail out of the blue.

He also asked me if I'd like to see his wedding photos. I didn't even know he'd gotten married. I'm not sure why he contacted me---it could be innocent, but my gut tells me it's not.

I'm in a relationship now, and he's married, so I don't think anything good could come out of responding to him.
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 38
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 8:19:40 AM

I'm not sure why he contacted me---it could be innocent, but my gut tells me it's not.

Christ in the manger, you women really need to calm down. So the guy wished you a Merry Christmas. You wished him a Merry Christmas back. Big deal. End of story.

It doesn't mean that he wants to stalk and rape you, ask you for money, or swoop down on a white horse and renew a relationship. He thought about you and wished you a Merry Christmas. That's all. I've had exes do the same thing. I don't expect to ever meet them again.

If he wants to email you some wedding photos, tell him to "Go for it." Email back how beautiful his bride was. Maybe you can arrange a double date that you'll never go on because you're all too busy reading the hidden meaning behind men. Trust me, we're not that complicated. A good beer and clean socks, and we're happy.

Oh, and Merry Christmas.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 39
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 8:31:06 AM
^^^^ I would imagine his new bride wouldn't like it if she knew her husband was contacting an old girlfriend. I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I were in her position. I don't think he had any business contacting me. We are not friends.

Naaa---I think it's best I don't reply. He's in the past and I think he should stay there.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 40
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 8:56:21 AM

man I once dated and broke up with, whom I hadn't seen or had any contact with in over five years, recently sent me a "Merry Christmas" e-mail out of the blue.

He also asked me if I'd like to see his wedding photos. I didn't even know he'd gotten married.


If you dumped him, then it sounds like he was just showing off. "You dumped me, but neener neener, I'm married." I don't randomly contact exes to say Merry Christmas. If I'm walking down the street and bump into them, ok sure.

I'd just say, "Wow, talk about a blast from the past! Congrats and happy holidays!", then leave it at that. It was inappropriate for him to contact you given he's married. *shakes head* Sounds childish.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 41
view profile
History
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 10:04:33 AM
I have to agree with Babbling here. If he brought up the wedding pictures I am sure it is a "neener neener" email. Why bother, click delete, smile a bit because he obviously thought about you more than you thought about him and don't waste anymore thought on it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 42
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 4:16:24 PM
I've received,so far this year, two emails from women from the past, wishing me a Merry Christmas,asking how the daughter is doing etc. Should I go out and buy a gun or what????

I don't know maybe I'm just being ignorant but,I'm pretty sure these women are just being, get this, nice. I gotta wonder how some of ya can even get thru the week with the drama ya create in your heads. Of course, I'm dealing with women here, not those evil planning, sex driven, sleazy men. Like I said, I don't know how you girls do it.

OT, it was a mass text. Simple and easy peasy. To some.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 43
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 4:44:28 PM
People who are being nice? OMG, that is just terrible! Shame on people, they need to get on the forums and post a thread about good things so posters can tear them a new one...lol.

Seriously, I get there is not so good intentions by some people who do what the OP thread is about. I get that, BUT it isn't a blanket statement that is truthful of all who do this. There are many examples of wishing someone good will even after time has past. And get this, it has nothing to do with the sender to "want" anything. No spooky, deviant reasons for some people. Shame on them to be good willed!
 TrebleMaker87
Joined: 8/20/2011
Msg: 44
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/17/2013 6:45:48 PM
Could it have been a bulk message that was sent to everyone? I get those (from many exes) during the holidays.

If it wasn't, then it definitely sounds like an ego thing to me, and you need to ignore him and move on!
 Crystal_Planet
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 45
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 5:06:31 AM
I love this place! So much excitement over a simple text.
"Merry Christmas" was the text. Not "Thinking of you" or "I miss you this time of year" or even a "hope you're doing well".

And the OP with her "Golly, what do you suppose it means?".
It means shit. It also means you agonize over the goofiest things and enjoy high drama. Go and volunteer at a homeless shelter and get some perspective.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 46
view profile
History
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 6:39:55 AM
The last few posts were not responding to the OP. That is over a year old. The last few posts were in response to Halcyon_Skies who received an email from someone she dumped which said Merry Christmas and btw want to see my wedding pictures. I am sure it could have been someone just being nice but I tend to believe that it was her ex telling her how well he has rebounded. Reading is a skill, being naïve is a handicap.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 47
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 8:39:05 AM
The last few posts were not responding to the OP. That is over a year old. The last few posts were in response to Halcyon_Skies who received an email from someone she dumped which said Merry Christmas and btw want to see my wedding pictures. I am sure it could have been someone just being nice but I tend to believe that it was her ex telling her how well he has rebounded. Reading is a skill, being naïve is a handicap.


Thanks, Cdan1957. The OP has long gone, and I would have started my own thread if I'd known it would cause this much confusion. I agree with you that the message wasn't just a case of an ex being nice on Christmas.

We didn't part on friendly terms, and hadn't kept in touch after I broke up with him five years ago. This was just his way of thumbing up his nose at me that he'd found another woman who'd marry him. He used the "Merry Christmas" as an excuse to contact me, figuring I'd engage him. I deleted his message, and I'm sure that's the end of it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 48
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 10:26:30 AM
it may be an old post, but there are plenty of people who ask, "why does this particular stranger do X to me, I can't see any other reason than selfishness."

well...yeah. Occam's Razor. sometimes people do things without any idea interest in getting your attention. they're just selfish, not the least interested in making you look or feel better.

sometimes when it feels wrong...that's b/c it is. no sense in trying to create a lemonade that says, "wow, I have value b/c X happened for some convoluted reason that reflects well on me in the end."

sorry you got skunked halcyon, but you did the right thing--purged it. hopefully had a glass of wine in salutation that you aren't the woman he married--how it would it feel to marry someone who still had their ex on their mind, and had to act like a kid in order to strike back? that'll be a marriage made in hell,its just a matter of when not if.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 49
view profile
History
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 10:46:28 AM
I dunno. Since he didnt respond to your response, I'd go along with it being a blast. However, I met a man here last year. We spent some time together. He lives too far away though for us to really get involved. Still for a good while we talked/emailed/chatted often....It started dwindling. Then I realized I was always initiating the contact and I stopped. It was no big deal. We neither one looked at it as a long time thing.

A couple weeks ago he popped in to my mind. I sent him a message just to say hey how you doing? I wasnt trying to restart anything. Just felt like talking to him, so that's what we've been doing. It's not a restart kinda thing. It's someone to talk to at night when we are each home and alone.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 50
view profile
History
No Contact and then Merry Christmas!!
Posted: 12/18/2013 11:09:29 AM
We can thank Hallmark and Norman Rockwell. Christmas makes us think about people we haven't given much thought to through the year. It's a Christmas thing, this time of year will bring it out in spite of ourselves. Reach out and touch then after the first of the year, we go back to normal and that's too bad. We can respond, or not, as we choose.
When you care enough to send the very best.
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