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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?      Home login  
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 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 70
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
@soo-girl,

"I found the OKC forums to be kind of lame,......"

I agree. There are only about a dozen OKC users who post in the OKC forums and too many threads degenerate way too quickly into either circle-jerks or petty arguments.

I don't know if devolution_zone is correct that women on OKC are friendlier, but they do seem to be more inclined to respond. Whether that's out of politeness or friendliness, I don't know.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 71
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 10:02:45 AM
Interesting study. So we really might as well just go to any random outdoor event, or bar, or what-have-you...

Another here who thought OKC forums were lame.

I resent paying when so many services are free so I'm only familiar with them and POF.

It was easier to find smarter men on OKC, and easier to find nicer ones on POF. I kinda want a fella to be both, soooo... on my return trip, I went with the one that has better forums.
 FitnessGuy33
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 72
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Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 10:27:55 AM
According to a website that I have found, the best one is Match.com.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 73
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:50:26 PM
"- Fewer women than POF"
Yes, but as I noted, the number of women and the number of women you have access to are not the same thing.

Actually, on OKC they don't have filters, so you'd SEE more women who've been online recently on OKC than POF, by default if they had the same amount of people. But actually, on POF, even with filters, you see MORE.

"- Lower % of attractive women than POF"
My experience has been the opposite.

At least around here in the greater vacinity, it's staunchly a veggie/emo/yoga-Activia/alternative/nerd crowd. Which can be good or bad depending on how you are, since that's a type thing that overlaps into physical attraction too.

When it comes to baseline objective beauty, POF has a somewhat higher % of attractive women (Match being the best), as on OKC requires more scrolling to find. Areas vary of course. I'm sure in particular places it's roughly the same or perhaps a bit better.

OKC has an algorithm (or at least -had- one) in that the higher you were rated, the higher rated women would show up in your searches on the site.

What I'm referring to is a search, manually sorted by last-online. Shorter list than POF, and due to it not being super-duper long unlike POF's, it's easy to gauge. Algorithms have nothing to do with that. It's a search filter, not an algorithm. The algorithm cranks out the girls "like" the one you're viewing, suggestions, quiver matches, meet-me, etc.

So if you're judging this by being a -new- member, you might be auto-screened from this until you get sufficiently judged to be in a higher range.

As a practical joke on there I once made a new account of a crazy funny looking dude and made a really wacky/hilarious profile. The search results were exactly the same, as it's no surprise. Again, a manual search filter, ordered by online date has nothing to do with an algorithm, etc.

I'm doing it on OKC now, and I get 10 in the first section of results, with well/decently written profiles and child-free.

OKC has more intelligent, childless women than over here, yes. Doesn't mean they're (physically) attractive. And I agree, it changes area by area, so one's mileage may vary. But overall women attractive? Less. Not massively less, but a good solid notch down... with the # of active-users running short. Maybe POF with a higher amount of separated/recently-divorced women in their 30s brings more attractive types (which I wouldn't be filtered out of)?

Also as a side note: POF has more older users. OKC seems to have a younger crowd, %-wise.
 GingersnapWA2
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 74
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:55:05 PM
POF has probably been the most productive for me, as far as number of 'real' contacts made. As others have stated, most folks from other Paid web sites are also on POF.
OK Cupid- I really like the Q &A section of their profiles. It's very helpful for screening purposes. But, The "Quiver" matching feature is totally Useless - It appears the only criteria it uses is location and age.
Eharmony is very restrictive. For example, it doesn't let you lower the age setting; It kept matching me with men Much older than myself (Sorry, but I want someone in my same generation!) None of the men I wrote to responded. Total waste of the one-month fee.
Match.com - Had lots of scammers and inactive profiles.
Zoosk - Almost all of the men who contacted me had very limited English skills, so I assumed they were looking for an easy way to get a green card. Another waste of a one-month membership fee.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 75
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 2:06:30 PM
Like many people, I have made the rounds of the more popular dating sites and here I am on POF. Nuf said.
 devolution_zone
Joined: 2/10/2013
Msg: 76
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 2:50:10 PM
"But actually, on POF, even with filters, you see MORE."
Seeing them isn't access to them. On okc I consistently meet women whose preferences I don't fit. Here, they'd be off limits by design. Also, I paid for the okc upgrade. It's actually useful. If there is one single outstanding difference between pof and okc it's the lack of filters on okc. My dates would fall ny a lot if I had to adhere to women's stated age preferences. People set those filters without thinking.

"Also as a side note: POF has more older users. OKC seems to have a younger crowd, %-wise."
Which fits me fine.If pof has more ``attractive'' older women, that's not my thing. The women on okc are generally more sophisticated and I don't see the difference in attractiveness, although because I paid for the upgrade, I can search by attractiveness ratings. I just pick the 4 and 5 *'s. I can also search by personality characteristics and those are broken down well. I exclude people who are ``more spiritual'' for example. The most useful feature is being able to hide profiles. I currently have 65 pages of profiles hidden, about 1300+ profiles that don't interest me. It's much easier.
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:12:39 PM
I'm a little suspicious of the fact that this thread even exists, and that POF lets it be here, and lets the names of other sites be posted. I was emailing a woman once through POF, and we both named a particular dating site other than POF, and we were confused until we noticed that POF automatically changed the name we had typed to read "another dating site". So the fact that this thread is even here is fishy to me. All word-play and pun fully intended and deserved. I think this thread is just a disguised advertisement, many of the posters a put-on, and POF is intended as a gateway site, with it's wacko ads and suggestions for other sites, as well as used for studies with fake profiles.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 78
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Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:16:58 PM
This one worked best for me. Where is that starry eyed icon, when you need it?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 79
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:09:44 AM
From a recent newspaper article titled Should You Pay To Play The Dating Game, by Ryan Tumilty (Edmonton, Alberta)

When preparing to jump into the online dating universe, is it better to jump in with just your heart, or with your wallet as well?

As online dating sites have cropped up, some have opened their doors to members free of charge, while others have monthly subscriptions for those looking for love.

Kimberly Moffit, Match.com's relationship insider, argues that paid sites are there for more committed individuals who are interested in serious relationships. "It just distinguishes the people who are willing to put the investment in and those who aren't" she said. Moffit argues that any online dating is a good thing, but people on paid sites are more likely to be taking their search seriously.

Christine Hart, a Toronto based dating coach, said both types of sites have advantages, but free sites tend to attract a different type of prospective dater. People going on free sites need to be prepared to put in a lot more time sifting through, because the free sites attract people with all levels of goals. Part of the benefit of paid dating sites is that they attract fewer people. You spend twice as much time sifting through profiles on the free dating sites.

Julie Spira, author of the book The Perils Of Cyber-Dating, said she and her clients see benefits to both types of sites. It is very common for someone to use a paid site and then they will also pick a free site. She said free sites attract huge numbers of people, which can be appealing simply for the sheer quantity of prospective partners. She said clients who pay for a dating site tend to pay more attention to the service. I find that a lot of them log in to their paid sites more often because they are invested.

_________________________

So it all boils down to what are you doing on a dating site. If you are truly serious, the more you spend indicates the more serious you are. In other words, if you are only on a free site, you are a cheap bugger who is looking for something for nothing.

Results are graded by the individual, not by statistics. Some are lucky; many are not !
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 80
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:20:21 AM

So it all boils down to what are you doing on a dating site

The problem with the paid sites is that they keep their non paying members listed (without telling you who they are) and you can e-mail them all day long but they can't respond unless they are a paying member. This actually leads to more frustration and wasted time than on the free sites.

If the paid sites only listed their actual paying members .. you would find that your prospects are actually quite dim.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 81
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 1:55:42 PM

POF has probably been the most productive for me, as far as number of 'real' contacts made. As others have stated, most folks from other Paid web sites are also on POF.


Agreed, as far as getting actual dates, they've been the best of all. But, there's ALOT of single moms on here, if you're into that sort of thing, cool. Also, LOTS of gold diggers.



OK Cupid- I really like the Q &A section of their profiles. It's very helpful for screening purposes. But, The "Quiver" matching feature is totally Useless - It appears the only criteria it uses is location and age.



This one is bad for getting dates IMO, lots of "visitors", they ask you a ton of random questions, the users want you to just through hoops to even get a date with them. I'm about to delete my profile from there completely.



Eharmony is very restrictive. For example, it doesn't let you lower the age setting; It kept matching me with men Much older than myself (Sorry, but I want someone in my same generation!) None of the men I wrote to responded. Total waste of the one-month fee.


Totally agree. I found nothing positive about the site, it was a complete waste of time, and doesn;t work. I have several friends who've tried it, and no results for them either.


Match.com - Had lots of scammers and inactive profiles.


Yeah, that makes no sense to me either, but you do seem to get a bit better quality of people, who actually want a serious relationship/marriage(or atleast it seems to be that way).


Zoosk - Almost all of the men who contacted me had very limited English skills, so I assumed they were looking for an easy way to get a green card. Another waste of a one-month membership fee.


LOL, I've had several women who are from other countries who claim to be "In california", contact me about the same things really. One woman actually said if I paid her $$$ she'd sleep with me. I laughed.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 82
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Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:27:11 PM

The problem with the paid sites is that they keep their non paying members listed (without telling you who they are) and you can e-mail them all day long but they can't respond unless they are a paying member. This actually leads to more frustration and wasted time than on the free sites.

If the paid sites only listed their actual paying members .. you would find that your prospects are actually quite dim.


You can tell who is paying or not relatively quickly on Match, and, as I've stated before, people will pay to contact you if you interest enough. Women have done it for me, and I've done it for women.

The "wink" option there establishes a bit of ease, as you can just wink > get return wink > email. If you don't get a return wink, you can just assume they aren't that interested, and there's no sweat off of your back.

Also, the filter options help tremendously. I hit "search" here and I get three pages before I see any DECENT women, much less attractive. On match/OKC, I like another poster here, have pages and pages worth of hidden profiles that I would otherwise have to filter through on here or go through too much effort to remove.

So, for instance, in Match, I prefilter anyone overweight or with kids and then remove profiles that either obviously lie about their weight or have -any- racial preferences. On OKC, you can't do a weight filter without paying, so I just click to hide anyone overweight until it gets to a manageable level. Here, I'm basically stuck with 90% large women and a bunch of poor women with multiple kids per page and no time efficient way to get rid of them. That creates a much worse time/frustration management situation than 50% non paying members that you wink and and that dont respond.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 83
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:40:42 PM
^^^^LOL, too funny. How can you tell are the ones who dont pay? I'm asking because I'm honestly curious, as it will help ke with my Match.com exp. and make things alot easier for me and others who might need that info.


Also, you're spot on about OKC, that place is strange.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 84
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Posted: 2/16/2013 3:46:13 PM
Re: Match: The easiest way is to sort by "newest." People on the tail end of the searches are normally people whose profiles are defunct - people on the front end are normally those that signed up for a month or whatever.

If you look at someone's profile without winking at them, or by emailing them without winking, and they view you back, then they're a paying member. Only members who pay can see who emails them or views them, so them doing a follow-up look shows that they're paying.

If you're searching for "online now," only paying members will show up with a chat icon next to them. That's also good for showing you the difference between who is signing in by phone and not.

Those are the "guaranteed" ways, basically.

But, generally, if you limit your search to online now+date or by date, and limit yourself to the first 5 or so pages or so, the first 5 or 6 pages will be mostly (ie. 70+ percent) active, paying women. The stacking also ranks based on who has updated their profiles the latest, which also helps.

If you just search by match percentage, you'll notice a lot of profiles who are defunct. Generally, people don't pay beyond 3 months of activity and that's who a lot of people end up messaging (and who Match uses to bump up numbers).
 dartmouthjames
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 85
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 4:55:40 PM
I created a profile on okcupid based on the glowing reviews on this thread, and my laptop is just not fast enough to run the site without it being sluggish. It's a shame, some of the girls looked pretty and the whole site seems more friendly.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 86
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:51:05 AM
Match is horrible from a female perspective. Many members who are not paying hence have no way to respond or read your communications. Found zero men resembling any thing vaguely interesting photo or profile . Comes off as a lonely hearts club for boring lonely old men who should not wonder why they are single. The site takes your money and fails to deliver. Watch the renewal too. Several people Ive talked with have been auto renewed with zero chance of getting a return of funds.
POF is the easiest to sort and navigate. Enjoy the Forums. Better pool of men in my age range.
 cowgirlup0067
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 87
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:16:09 AM
To anyone that can answer, is OKC a paying site or is it completely free like POF?
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 88
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:24:34 AM
OKC is free so far as posting a profile and sending and receiving messages, as well as a fair number of other features. There are some features which require a paid upgrade to access, like POF.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 89
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Posted: 3/6/2013 9:27:39 AM
Match is horrible from a female perspective. Many members who are not paying hence have no way to respond or read your communications. Found zero men resembling any thing vaguely interesting photo or profile . Comes off as a lonely hearts club for boring lonely old men who should not wonder why they are single. The site takes your money and fails to deliver. Watch the renewal too. Several people Ive talked with have been auto renewed with zero chance of getting a return of funds.
POF is the easiest to sort and navigate. Enjoy the Forums. Better pool of men in my age range.


You aren't speaking from the "female perspective."

You're overweight, over 50, and live in a suburb of a small city in a sparsely populated area of Michigan. Yes, with that attribute combination, a site that caters towards moderate-to-attractive people (due to the focus on pictures) with disposable income isn't going to work as well as one that caters towards other demographics. A fit, 20-30 year old professional woman in a major city is going to have a different experience than an older overweight woman in the middle of nowhere. POF caters better for more rural people with lower incomes, Eharmony for overweight or old Christian people that want to 'settle,' for instance. Gender-wise, though, no site is better or worse for women AS A WHOLE.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 90
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 11:07:04 AM
You aren't speaking from the "female perspective."

You're overweight, over 50, and live in a suburb of a small city in a sparsely populated area of Michigan. Yes, with that attribute combination, a site that caters towards moderate-to-attractive people (due to the focus on pictures) with disposable income isn't going to work as well as one that caters towards other demographics. A fit, 20-30 year old professional woman in a major city is going to have a different experience than an older overweight woman in the middle of nowhere. POF caters better for more rural people with lower incomes, Eharmony for overweight or old Christian people that want to 'settle,' for instance. Gender-wise, though, no site is better or worse for women AS A WHOLE.


Well aren't you the rude one. Ada is a AFFLUENT suburb of a much larger city. Because I honestly choose a few extra pounds you determine I am overweight thus not entitled to an opinion as a Female? Females have communicated the exact same thoughts on Match many other sites. We don't need some young think he knows all that telling us how to conduct ourselves. Your bias towards older and not perfect in your mind women is appalling. Good luck kid you are going to need it.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 91
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Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 11:37:19 AM

Well aren't you the rude one. Ada is a AFFLUENT suburb of a much larger city. Because I honestly choose a few extra pounds you determine I am overweight thus not entitled to an opinion as a Female? Females have communicated the exact same thoughts on Match many other sites. We don't need some young think he knows all that telling us how to conduct ourselves. Your bias towards older and not perfect in your mind women is appalling. Good luck kid you are going to need it.


- A few extra pounds MEANS overweight. Those are your words, not mine - it's the synonym. Why are you getting mad when I used your own self-descriptor? And no one cares what is "affluent" or not.

- Grand Rapids is a small city with a city population of less than 200,000 and a Metro Area of less than a million (compared to, say, the east side of the state, with 5,000,000 with the Detroit-Ann Arbor metro combination). Small city means a much less large pool to choose from. Sites such as Match (with a pay service) benefit from large turnover of professional/working individuals, which you don't get in small cities like Grand Rapids with a small Metro Area.

- Free sites cater more to people searching in larger distances/with less disposable income. That combination means that 50+ people, who move out of cities, and head towards retirement age, will typically do better on POF. With younger women, that tends to flip. The larger the metro area, the more jobless/lives with parents/single parents with little income flock to free sites, and drown out anyone else with mass messaging (scaring away a large portion of the female population).

- Match's layout and ability to permanently filter out "types" of people works against overweight and older people. because you can easily uncheck/ignore "types" of people in a search, and many/most people are going for a relatively small range of people, filtering out the majority. The layout itself is more likely to drown out "less attractive" people, meaning that it's easier to get lose in a crowd there.

My "know it all youngster" self did marketing work for a dating site and had access to these stats. -I- don't have a bias - life has a bias, and I'm just stating the statistics as they stand. I'm not making any personal judgments about you as a person, as I don't care/have no reason to.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 92
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 12:14:50 PM
Your gracious reply is most appreciated. A few extra pounds, overweight, curvy, about average , BBW will mean different things amongst different persons. I am not a size 2 yet not a large n lovely.
In your opinion how does one really answer that? Where would a non size 2 over 50 women in my city who is financially stable not looking for a sugar daddy stand a chance of meeting someone looking for companionship, dating? Meeting someone in a larger city would not pose a problem as my job travels with me however most people are looking for someone in their own area lending credence to what you pointed out.
My experience coupled with other Ladies tends to show a great success rate with POF vs Match.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 93
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Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 12:33:40 PM
All I was pointing out was you labeling your post "from a woman's POV" as opposed to "my POV" posed some differences because of the differences in how dating sites work on differing demographics. If I was 50+, for instance, I would probably use POF in combination with E-Harmony, but instead of paying for E-harmony straight off; I would abuse their "free communication weekends" until I ran across someone worthwhile. As a young/mid 30's artist that hasn't completely lost his 20's body, I do best on Match/OKC, with this site and Eharmony being absolutely terrible for me. So it all shifts with demographics.

I think you have the best choice now, and I agree with what you say for your demographic; I was just clearing things up to say that the effect changes depending on who/where you are. Sorry if it came off confrontational, I've been writing instructional courses all day, and am in that mode of writing at the moment.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 94
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 3/6/2013 12:42:11 PM
My apologies as well as my gratitude for your insight. Local demos do explain while some have better success with different sites. The how to describe your size debate is never an easy issue. Combining your looks and insight hard to believe you have not been snapped up by some lovely.
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