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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Need help getting over her.      Home login  
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 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 26
Need help getting over her.Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
She was upset that I insulted her once, which did a lot of damage. My ex-gf was a tomboy, she liked to wear her hair short. I got mad one day and insulted the way she looked, I regret saying such things. I was forgiven, but she said she would not forget, ruining her love for me. Her feelings had changed to not loving me as much. She was hurt and questioned if I loved her why would I say things like that to her. I didn't realize how sensitive her feelings were. I can't forgive myself and I am not happy about it. I would say somewhere in her heart that she still cares about me, but have brought upon alot of doubt. Believe me, I hate myself for &@$#ing our relationship up.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 27
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:22:39 AM
JeffS -- none of us are immuned to insulting someone we love or care about at one time or another. You say you did it once causing a lot of damage. My guess is that this has been an up and down roller coaster and she got enough in that she decided to jump off for good. Words hurt and are abusive. I know you're hurting over this. This is a good opportunity for you to do some self discovery of yourself and think about some of the words or situations that could potentailly do harm so you do not repeat your past behavior in your next relationship. This is a time thing. You will heal and get over it with time.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 28
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 9:15:46 AM
It's ironic that she says that I was critical of her, but she actually did it too. Most of the time, I was just trying to offer advice to her. She was still immature to me in many ways, that I found what she did in public to be embarassing. Bad attitude, careless, naive, and selfish. She was a typical, rebellious girl with a High School mentality. Before I met her, she had all kinds of problems. One of the leading problems was her bipolar. Say one wrong thing like calm down and she flips out on you.
 Babydollhouses
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 29
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 3:10:07 PM
I'm going through something similar. The pain is worse than physical pain. I've never experienced this before. I keep punishing myself by obsessing about it. The sad part is, I would still do anything to have him in my world; but he wont. It's taking forever; feels like I'll never be able to move forward. I understand; believe me, I do. *hugs*
 Sweetheartedness
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 30
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 4:11:46 PM
I agree that she is not worth taking your time. I fell hard for someone on here......came out of the blue. Wasn't planning on that happening that quickly, and mostly...NEVER. It is hard to admit that he is not worth the time it takes to think about him. Neither is she...Best of luck to you, man! Time will help.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 31
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:45:08 PM
You're young & this is your first break up. Nothing hurts more than that. You're going to fall in love & have your heart broken a few times, this is a normal part of life. Everyone goes thru these things, you're not alone. Not every relationship is going to work out. That's ok, because ultimately, it will lead you to the love of your life.
Stop all contact with her. Stop calling, texting, remove her from facebk. Trust me, time will heal your broken heart. Give yourself that time to heal.
In the meantime, hang out with your friends, get involved in a hobby of don't have one. Start an excercise program, it will improve your mood. When your thoughts drift towards her, force yourself to think of something else.
Your driving yourself crazy contacting her all the time. You can't force someone to love you.
 siliconwolf
Joined: 2/5/2010
Msg: 32
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:03:10 PM
It's rough dude and I know it hurts. You just have to wait it out. I've had several gf that didn't work out, then I found the 'perfect' girl and was with her for 3 years. At the end, started being 'busy' all the time and eventually told me she started dating another guy....3 weeks prior. I can tell you that drove me all sorts of insane. Had that happen to me 3 times in a row since then, the last one just a few days ago. It's not because I'm doing anything horrible, it's just because I'm picking the wrong girls (or I'm cursed...one of the two :-P). It'll suck for a while yet man, but just remember to keep your spirits up and be optimistic. It's likely not something you did, it's just that there's a lot of terrible girls out there.
It's ironic that she says that I was critical of her, but she actually did it too. Most of the time, I was just trying to offer advice to her. She was still immature to me in many ways, that I found what she did in public to be embarassing. Bad attitude, careless, naive, and selfish. She was a typical, rebellious girl with a High School mentality. Before I met her, she had all kinds of problems. One of the leading problems was her bipolar. Say one wrong thing like calm down and she flips out on you.
. That right there is a terrible girl. This last one I was going with was quite similar. There's no helping them, no matter how hard you try. You just stepped on a landmine is all. Don't worry, you have a good chance at finding someone MUCH better, while she's just going to keep having failed relationships and blaming the guys.
 What Grinds My Gears
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 33
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:40:02 PM
What makes this tough is that this was your first girlfriend. It may be less the loss of the girl and more how unsettling it is to be single again. Take your time and you will meet someone else.
I think rational thought is already starting to creep in. You don't need to be with a girl with the qualities you described. In time you will be thanking her for breaking up with you. Then you will meet someone without those issues and you will see how much better a relationship can be.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 34
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/5/2013 7:19:51 AM
She did describe herself as a little bit of narcissist. I just looked up a disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Oh boy, I was amazed how much that describes her. She was a lot more than a little bit. I can see why things could never work with her. Serious issues. Her relationships in the future are going to fail.
 saccre
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 35
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/7/2013 7:14:01 AM
I found what worked was re-building my self respect first.
So I looked at some of my bad habits and started changing them.
Then everyday I congratulated myself for achieving something.
Other things started falling into place then.
Only when I felt comfortable with myself did I start looking
for another woman, hope this helps.
 nextint111
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 36
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:19:13 AM
I'm in the same boat,,, But ,, I lived with my girlfriend,, we broke up x-mas eve,, an I moved out.. This was all after a really big fight were we both said some nasty things to each other. This was the second time around with this person,, and I truly loved her ( still d0 ) and I know how it is to feel trashed... All I can tell you is,, don't dwell on it with your friends ( they will get board of listening to it ) Try to focus on your job,, or schooling,, as much as it hurt's,, don't contact her,,, it dosen't work,,, nights are the hardest when you are trying to sleep,, and all you do is think...... All things come to pass in time
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 37
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/7/2013 11:22:13 AM
A lot of the can't get over someone is based on obsession. I had a very hard time and found that when I discovered a new interest that I can be passionate about I stopped thinking about my ex.
In my case it was signing up to become an addictions counselor. That's just one example, but if you can divert your passions it really does help.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 38
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/10/2013 10:19:24 AM
JeffS -- If she does have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, consider yourself lucky you didn't have children or invest more time into the relationship. Read and keep reading about this disorder. It will assist in your healing process.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 39
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/10/2013 1:51:57 PM
You know what funnygirl_13. I clearly don't need your rude opinion. You don't know the story. So, I do not need you to judge me. I cut ties with her after putting up with the 3 months of stringing along bull shit. She wanted to be friends and wanted to hang out a few times during this post-breakup. I was also given alot of false hope. I had enough of it, when she canceled the last time. I went through a deep depression asking myself why. I try to talk to her calmly 2 months later to apologize. I wanted closure and wanted to see if we can be friends. She declined. Fine by me then. She can live the way however she pleases, and it not good path she is choosing. It was not obsession. I loved her. I am moving on.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 40
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/10/2013 2:47:12 PM
She told me she was bipolar, I definitely see it. I know because my father is bipolar. They can be dffcult people to deal with, especially when they are not taking their meds to balance them out. This girl was in fact selfish, always talked about herself, bragged, and actually decribed herself as ''a bit of a narcissist''. She has issues within herself that she needs to work out. She made that relationship a pain. So, I really don't need to dive into this subject any further. I do appreciate the advice I have been getting from most.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 41
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:16:54 AM
I am just accepting it now. Shannon told me when she broke up with me that she never wanted to hurt me. I just took it really hard. I hope she is happy. Now, I just need to focus on myself, and hope the next girlfriend that I have works out.
 aynonimus
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 42
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 5:31:52 AM
I been there. All guys have one time or another. But bro look u been dating only 5 months. I suggest going out with friends and keep yourself occupied. The more you stay at home playing love songs the more life will really suck. Just get out there man. Network. Date around. Live life man.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 43
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:08:25 PM
Thanks guys. I am actually feeling better. A little bit lonely, but better nonetheless.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 44
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:47:10 PM
If someone strings you along then they aren't worth it. If someone cares for you they will be open and honest at all times. I am in a similar situation with my ex. I am working on myself at this point and i keep her updated on how well i am doing. I send her flowers on her birthday and v-day. I am confident she will come back to me after she sees how much better i am than the other men out there. I was immature and lost when we met, and she wasn't. She needed a man and i was a boy. I am a man now and i am ready to be with her, so i know it will work this time.

Do you and you will attract someone equal or better. I promise.

Funny girl is a jerk. She put down a man who was in desperate need of help and support in another thread. She clearly hates other human beings. She needs to go join a hate group or something. HOLD YA HEAD BRO.

I was convinced my ex was Had NPD. You need to understand the difference between self love and NPD. I told my ex she had NPD and she blocked me. You want to be very careful diagnosing people without a degree.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 45
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:24:43 PM
Maybe she strung me long or maybe she didn't. Shannon wanted time to herself because of what I have done. I broke her heart, I can't forgive myself for doing it, but I promise that I will not ever make that mistake again. We probably should not have dated each other to begin with.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 46
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:29:37 PM
I am just repeating what you said bro. You said she strung you along. Red flag in my opinion. Move on. You deserve better. You should stop saying her name btw. Create emotional distance
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 47
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:51:43 PM
Yes, I did say that. I do agree with you that I deserve someone better. She only exists as a memory now. Lately, I am focusing on other stuff and not her. I figure my passion lies in music and school. More opportunities should come my way, and ofcourse, a much better young lady.:)
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 48
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Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/15/2013 7:59:54 AM
I just feel like your opinions are very negative. I think people tend to use the word stalk and stalker way to freely. I don't think this gentleman is stalking his ex. If you want someone back and you go about it in a respectful manner then there is no problem.

I agree that he handled the situation wrong and he was most likely annoying her. He needs to say i like you and can we try and get back together. He needs to leave her alone after that. I respect your opinion and your entitled to it. I just didn't love the way you expressed it.

I'm sorry you were stalked. I dated a few women who were stalked and it's some scary stuff. I would rather have a arm chopped off then to be classified as a stalker. There is no lower form of man.
 carliux
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 49
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/16/2013 2:32:53 PM
We are in the same boat. And I understand your pain. She asked for space, and I never truly gave her space. However, it was a bit different, because I also suspected that she was asking for space to see other guy.
It made me confused too, because at times she asked for space and got mad when I tried contacting her, and all of a sudden the next day after she has put me down the previous day, she would ask me to come see her. I didn't come because I was hurt how she was putting me down. Then she kept asking for a 6 months break.

Fast forward this Holidays I found a fake facebook profile of her, and she had some pics with the guy I was doubting she was dating.

She never said sorry and all that said it was my fault for not giving her space.

So until now I am still grieving and it has not been easy. I thought she was the love of my life,, like you say..... But as you can see that sometimes it is not our fault. If she needed space then why she was dating other guy? It was merely an excuse to let me go and keep me as a backup (reason asking for a 3 or 6 month break).... And yes she blocked me from everywhere you can name. With no apparent reasons of any big mistake I have done to her.
 JeffSch2011
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 50
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/16/2013 3:04:26 PM
Yup. It is similar to what you are talking about. Supposedly, if I had given her space, then things would have become better. It appeared to be more of an bullshit excuse. Yet, she still talked to me and wanted to hang out. Dude, I was only left confused and pissed. Between the whole thing of lets be friends, I want you in my life crap, I ended up getting tired of dealing with it.
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