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 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 55
The my place datePage 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Having a date at my place tonight.. I'm making Spaghetti with salad, french bread, great wine.. and maybe cheesecake for desert. There will be a dozen roses for her when she arrives. Should be a great evening.

Not a first date.. but could be the one that takes me off this site again
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 56
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History
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 7:24:46 AM
"I'm making Spaghetti with salad, french bread, great wine.. and maybe cheesecake for desert."

After that massive overload of carbohydrates, she will probably just fall asleep. Give the poor girl a bit of protein for pity's sake!
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 57
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:41:35 AM

Having a date at my place tonight.. I'm making Spaghetti with salad, french bread, great wine.. and maybe cheesecake for desert. There will be a dozen roses for her when she arrives. Should be a great evening.

How nice, Stubidooo! I'm guessing this is the same lovely lady with whom you had the instant chemistry? Hope you both have a wonderful time!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 59
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 12:53:38 PM

Having a date at my place tonight.. I'm making Spaghetti with salad, french bread, great wine.. and maybe cheesecake for desert. There will be a dozen roses for her when she arrives. Should be a great evening.


Good luck dude. Just substitute the cheesecake for strawberries and whip cream. Then use your imagination.

Hehehehe.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 60
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 5:12:52 PM

There will be a dozen roses for her when she arrives


IDK... maybe pace yourself with gestures like this and pick up a video for after diner. Personally, I'd like that a lot more from someone I had been dating for awhile and we had already gotten past sex. There's always a balance point between "just right" and too much. Everybody is different.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 61
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 7:42:26 PM
I've had a few first dates a female's place before. For me no female is coming over to my house on the first date. I have trust issues with people coming into the apartment, and I really want to get to know the person before I let them into my home.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 63
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:00:19 PM
just had a "my place date" nothing good could come out of it, nothing good at all....
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 65
The my place date
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:20:06 PM
I do them a lot. Usually because people want me to cook for them.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, and not always an attempt to get someone in bed. It depends on the two people involved.
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 66
The my place date
Posted: 2/13/2013 6:53:35 AM

Having a date at my place tonight.. I'm making Spaghetti with salad, french bread, great wine.. and maybe cheesecake for desert. There will be a dozen roses for her when she arrives. Should be a great evening.

Not a first date.. but could be the one that takes me off this site again


Awesome... Sounds perfect. :)
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 67
The my place date
Posted: 2/13/2013 8:26:02 AM

I have never had a man to my home.

In your entire life?

How is that even possible?
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 68
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History
The my place date
Posted: 2/13/2013 9:37:10 AM
"Geez, I'm no dumb bunny, I know what's going to happen if go over to a guy's house for dinner, drinks and talking...of course we're going to end up in bed."
Really? I like going to a man's home for dinner, lets me see how he lives/learn more about him. I would never assume this meant we were going to end up in bed. Hopefully he wouldn't assume this either. I've had very pleasant evenings doing this with no sex.
When it's time for sex I don't think it matters if you stayed in or went out, it'll happen.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 70
The my place date
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:41:22 PM

And I expect breakfast in the morning too :) Coffee, eggs, toast, more sex, coffee

+1

But change the coffee for tea.

When I invite a guy to my place, I have one thing in mind. When I accept an invitation to his place, I have the same thing in mind. So if a guy wanted a first date at his place or mine, I would turn him down.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 71
The my place date
Posted: 2/16/2013 7:37:30 PM
I actually don't like the "my place" date. I don't mind hanging out at home together when there is actually a relationship, but in the beginning, I prefer to go out. I like to do things, be active, go places, laugh, have fun, etc.. The let-me-make-you-dinner date is nice, but I think it has to be about date # 10 or something when you are exclusive and crazy about eachother. To me, if a man wants to make me dinner at his house it says a) I don't want to spend money on taking you out somewhere, and b) I am just looking to get laid. It makes me feel sort of cheap, so unless there is a relationship already established, I'd probably say NOPE to the invite.
 lililcious
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 72
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 3:29:10 AM
In my experience, every man that has invited me to their home or business(owners), they have only wanted sex, so I stopped going and I posted it on my profile. Clearly, no married men or dates at your house. Unfortunately, I still get way too many perverts. For a moment I thought, "maybe there are women who are doing this". Have attractive men gotten lazy? Seriously, it's too much. I try to put it out there 100% that I am not interested in having sex on a first date, but somehow they always ask me or simply send me a picture of their junk. My revenge... I show everyone their pictures including my mom....and we laugh about it. Sorry some men have ruined it for you, but we just can't take any chances. There are some real bad people on the internet dating sites. I would never bring someone into your home without them proving themselves worthy.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 73
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 5:27:23 AM

And I expect breakfast in the morning too :) Coffee, eggs, toast, more sex, coffee...

Always
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 74
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 7:02:51 AM

To me, if a man wants to make me dinner at his house it says a) I don't want to spend money on taking you out somewhere, and b) I am just looking to get laid.


Never had this problem. If a woman thought that going to my place was because I was cheap and not willing to spend money on her in a public place, I would stop dating her. When I have taken women over my place, it cost about the same as dining out an above average restaurant, however, because what I usually prepare are dishes that you would have to go to a 5 star restaurant to get that quality, so yes, I am saving myself the $250 that would cost in such restaurants. I do not hide the fact, that as a man, I do want, and like to get laid. However, I do not flaunt it on such dates, and in fact almost act as if I did not were interested in them, that way, it put the pressure back on the woman and what may have been her expectations, coming to my place. Many did have, that toothbrush in her purse and stayed the night.

With my current gf, it was interesting because she has turned out to be an extremely sexual creature, and yet that first time she came over for dinner, we did not do it. We did kiss, but we kept it simple and almost teenage like. Also she had a sitter that night. The time that she came over for dinner again, she had already "hinted" that her child was staying with the father, and the next morning thanked me, because I did not put any pressure on her the first time she came over.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 75
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 8:14:38 AM

To me, if a man wants to make me dinner at his house it says a) I don't want to spend money on taking you out somewhere

Really? That's what you get from a man going to all the trouble to make you a nice dinner? Here's an interesting take for your enjoyment:

There are two things that are evident with serial daters. 1) They want to go out and have money spent on them and 2) at the point where sex should enter into things, they disappear.

So is it any wonder that some men "might" want to cast both stones and eliminate them right off the bat?
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 76
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 8:50:19 AM
If a man wants to make me dinner at his house it says

1. He is confident about his ability to put a decent meal on the table;
2. He is romantic and wants to spend a quiet evening alone together; and
3. He wants to have sex if I want to have sex.

As I have said before, if I invite him to my place or he invites me to his place I will assume that sex will follow. If I am not at that point yet, I will let them know that beforehand.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 77
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History
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 1:43:52 PM
Most men who have made me dinner spent quite a bit of money. (Not all, some were just cheap and we never went anywhere).
Steak, fresh veg/mushrooms. Wine/liquor/dessert. Cleaned their houses/showered/shaved. Always impresses me when man goes to this much trouble for me. (Even spaghetti would be fine).
Much easier just to take a woman out for dinner.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 78
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 2:43:51 PM
Youre right. Alot of men have ruined this whole scenario.
I LOVE to cuddle and snuggle with a man Ive been dating a while. Not on the first date tho. I wouldnt go to a man's home or have him come to mine unless I was really sure of him and wanted a relationship.

This scenario has been ruined a few times for me and has caused me now to never go to a man's place for a long while after beginning dating.
It used to be when younger that it was good to go over, watch a movie, or have dinner etc. But it seems now that Im older its suppose to be code for sex.
Not that long ago I was dating a fella and we were on our third date for pizza. At the restuarant he asked if I wanted to come over and watch tv since we werent that far from his place. I felt comfortable with him but was in no way ready to have sex so I explained that to him. I wasnt on that couch 5 minutes when all rules were gone and he was all over me. He ruined it for me. I mean,I had already told him I didnt want that. I kinda lost respect for him. Even after liking him I just didnt want to be with him after that. Whats wrong with waiting a while??
Dont get me wrong. I like sex.. but cmon. The whole time I knew him all the dates added up was about 10 hours. Know what I mean? I wouldnt have sex after knowing someone 10 hours.. geez.

Same thing has happened when Ive offered to make dinner at my home for a date. I have been standing in the kitchen and bam up they come and run their parts against me as I stirring the pot on the stove. I mean, gee whiz. Get off me!
It just seems alot harder to date as I get older. Its like thats all that is important.
But mind ya, Im kinda dumb sometimes too. I went out with a fella and we went back to his place. His mom was there and introduced her. He showed me around etc.. everything was good. Then he said I will be right back. His mom had left and he came out of the bedroom with his shirt off. He said he was hot. Im telling ya I was so stupid I thought he meant he was hot from the temperature..lol. I didnt get it at the time and stood there Im sure looking like an idiot. lol. I mean, His mom just left... geez... LOL>..!
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 79
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 3:37:07 PM

Always impresses me when man goes to this much trouble for me.....Much easier just to take a woman out for dinner

Women always say they really want to get to know you and talk. There is probably no better opportunity for this than when he offers to cook you dinner in his home. Not only will you find out how much effort he put into the evening just for you but you will get a chance to see how he lives and have one on one time with absolutely no distractions. I'm not saying it's a great "first" date but certainly early on... it's a good one.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 80
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 3:46:55 PM
Five Marie,

Most men that have made me dinner either went over the top, or really didn't put much effort into it at all. The last time a guy did the whole dinner date thing (this was a long time ago, btw), it didn't go too well. He went wayyyyyy over the top, and it was only the 2nd date. The guy doted on me and seemed very uncomfortable, which made me nervous and uncomfortable as well. While I liked this guy, we were not on the same page. It became apparent that he was reallyyyy wayyyyyy into me, and it was kind of a turn off. I was just trying to get to know him, and it was too much too fast. It sort of freaked me out a bit because of the way he was acting, so there was no follow up date. The guy was a very good cook, and I was impressed, but it was all very weird. Another time that a guy asked me over for dinner, it was a culinary disaster. He basically served me a frozen dinner, and it was a real turn off. It was horrible. Of course he really put the moves on me, so it was obvious that he just wanted to get laid. Based upon these past two experiences, I decided that the dinner date thing is great when you've been together a long time and in a committed relationship. For me, it's not a good way to spend a date when you are just getting to know each other. Also, I am a bit of a foodie, so I like to know what a person's culinary tastes are. Anyway, I feel much more comfortable meeting in public for the first few dates, and going to someone's house on date 2, 3, or even 4 is a very risky venture in this day and age.
 oh_SoCurious
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 82
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 4:04:43 PM
I had a 3rd date that was a "my place" date. The plan was to watch The Walking Dead together and then just hang out a bit and that is exactly what we did. It was fun.

I take what people say at face value.. like if I were to invite someone over for coffee, I mean coffee, not sex. I expect the same back and not assume that they may be talking in "code" or whatever.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 83
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 4:16:12 PM

The plan was to watch The Walking Dead

Great Show!

and then just hang out

To be fair... younger people have a different view about "hanging out". My daughter has tried to explain it to me "dad, hanging out doesn't mean sex" but honestly, I don't get the whole "hanging out" concept. I don't "hang out".
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 84
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History
The my place date
Posted: 2/18/2013 4:56:05 PM
"Most of us are not 20 years old anymore".
Exactly.
If a man my age, in his fifties, can't control himself better than a horny teen then he's got a problem. If a man invites me to his home for dinner early on in the relationship I take it as exactly that, I'm a dinner guest.
Why you think men cannot control themselves, that them having sex on a semi regular basis means they have to jump everything that walks in their door is insulting to men.
I have dated very sexual men that controlled themselves until they knew I was ready. Key word is "men", we're not talking about kids.
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