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 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 263
Dating in our 50'sPage 13 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

gotta test drive the product before buying,” argument is stupid and sickening


I have to agree, very tacky and gross. Though I think if I waited to I felt in love, I would be a virgin once removed. I think the only woman I felt in love with before sex was when we were both virgins to begin with, and we did date for at least 6 months before anything like that happened, and it was a very gradual process moving through many stages.

I fall somethere in the middle of true love and hookup. Though I have never had a hookup, so it's hard to tell what that feels like. I can't even really imagine asking for sex, never mind with someone I haven't even met yet, it just happens as a part of a mutual desire on both of our parts.

From what I read, a hookup is where you meet someone, often on the internet but not always, and you both discuss having sex.

But I don't feel like "saving it" makes any sense either, it's not like you have a limited about of sex (or love) in some sort of account, and when it's all gone you are bankrupt.

For me, liking a person and feeling attracted to her is enough, of course it has to be mutual, though I don't actually like that many women in that way.

But that is why god created 2 billion eligible men and women in the world, that is a lot of lids for all the pots around.
 All2rosie
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 264
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:55:28 PM
OP -
Your thought process seems to omits oh so much.
Chemistry is great but if other key factors are missing - what's the point?

Personally, I have re-thought my expectations and realized that at this age the world is my oyster.
You may want to reconsider the parameters (you choose to accept as) 'acceptable' to most. What works for you is for you. Public opinion can't cuddle with you at night.

Chemistry is nice but is not the end all to be all. I believe most women over 40 posses that 'something'- it kicks major azz...lol. There is a sense of confidence, excitement, self acceptance, adventure, vibrance, humor, sexuality that is hard to beat.

You think men over 50 are looking for a ....."stable, fun and attractive woman"? They are looking for that and so much more .... I say kick up your heels and enjoy yourself!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 265
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/23/2013 3:08:17 PM

In my neck of the desert, shorts are always appropriate in the summer. …..So, dressing appropriately can be a fluid endeavor subject to derision depending on the observer.


You’re right…it’s subjective….I personally don’t wear shorts on dates, I’d rather wear a sundress, and shorts on a man in the evening is a no-no, besides usually looking rather foolish. IMO.


I think shorts on men is ok based on where you live--to try and justify getting to dress the way you wish to dress by making someone else seem less just shows that some feel dating isnt about TWO people but ONE getting their way.

I really get the vibe on here that many--male and female think of only their viewpoint in dating--it is so about them and what they want from a member of the opposite sex--they totally miss that dating can be fun,--just stop being so selfish about what you want from dating and realize if you find the right person they will probably want to make sure that you get to go and do the things you want.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 266
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/23/2013 5:32:46 PM

But I don't feel like "saving it" makes any sense either, it's not like you have a limited about of sex (or love) in some sort of account, and when it's all gone you are bankrupt.


Yeah…..”saving it” is probably a poor choice of words. “Using discretion,” and “making healthy decisions,” sounds better to me. When I am not focused on a man I become so much more aware of myself, which I think is necessary for self improvement and growth. That can only make me a better partner, IMO.


I think shorts on men is ok based on where you live--to try and justify getting to dress the way you wish to dress by making someone else seem less just shows that some feel dating isnt about TWO people but ONE getting their way.


??? If you’re talking to me…..I simply stated my preference. I, personally, for me, my opinion only, don’t care for men wearing shorts in the evening. However; I’m not gonna hold a gun to his head while he’s dressing and make him wear pants. :)
 Happy_Gal_63
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 267
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/23/2013 6:18:52 PM

Good for you! Really. Stick to your beliefs. See if that scratches your itch.


Yes, it is good for me. Really!

It is interesting, that there is an undertone of hostility in your response. You had asked a question and I answered it honestly.

Again, in speaking only for myself, by respecting my beliefs and body, others respect me and it invokes respect in the situation. I am human and have desires just like everyone else. Thankfully I have a strong mind and through self control/mind over matter, I can control my desires rather than them controlling me.

I am happy that we have all found what works best for ourselves. We are all different and I am grateful for that because if we were all the same things would be pretty boring.
 kendrajo51
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 268
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/23/2013 11:17:35 PM
Happy Gal...I totally agree...I want to also add...even women at our ages can be labeled...acquire reputations, and I personally prefer to have the reputation as someone that respects herself to save the sex for someone that matters to me, and I matter to him, rather than someone that gives it out just because I have a "itch"....like someone stated earlier...that's why God made vibrators,lol. We are human's, not animals, we are made with the innate knowledge of right and wrong, and when we ignor that, we acquire not so nice reputations...even at our age.
 PeekaBoo52
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 269
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/24/2013 2:09:55 PM
I get tired of men saying they have jobs....and find out they dont. I get the questions about what kinda panties do I wear and what sex toys do I have....well they are tongs and I have plenty of toys but dont think you'll ever see them or use them if your a jerk that lies all the time. I was married to a guy 16 yrs younger it only lastest 11yrs but dang you old farts really arent as romantic as the younger guys....y'all need to read books or watch soft porn. Get with it guys :) I said that in a sweet southern voice ...lol
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 270
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/24/2013 2:21:15 PM
Maybe “tongs” is code for vagina dentata. Ouch.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 271
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/24/2013 4:37:40 PM
Dating in our 50's?

I should hope at this age, the men would be more in tune with the ability to stimulate a woman's senses and sensibilities.
Spare me the showboating and nonsense ... Indulge me with tastes I enjoy, music that resonates in my ears and my thighs, beautiful things to touch, feel, smell and words that mean something to me. The result is a journey we should both enjoy. Dive into each other's lake and come up panting for breath. If you haven't developed your "game" since you were 15 years old, please walk on by.

Oh, and it's mandatory to have Sade playing in the background if you are hoping to get anywhere with this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y9S8MT8THw&feature=youtube_gdata_player


And just for you guys who are lame with no game, I have included a reference video for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GpTTf175aE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 272
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/24/2013 6:52:11 PM
Another thing I have noticed in the 50's is it seems all the rock n rollers have all disappeared . Most are listening to easy listening or country . Back in 9th grade I started listening to Black Sabbath and other hard music .Don't think I have chatted with a woman in my age group yet that likes hard rock . Guess they were all pacified .Think I am going to have to start looking at younger profiles .
 KeysSkipper
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 273
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:34:18 PM
Well, us being the 50's type should be able to tell the difference I think. Especially the ladies who are receiving all these emails. If it turns trashy to quick (or at all to my thinking), well, I think you should be able to read between the lines there. I have never said a trashy word on here, and my reply rates aren't very good, maybe I should talk trash, sounds like the ladies ARE responding. Personally I think if you're getting mail from WAY younger guys then some part of you wants to, but assuming that all (most) are just looking for a "hook-up" is just hurting the chances for those of us who aren't. Perpetuating the myth. Thanks a bunch
 fabfunky50
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 274
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 12:09:00 AM
Well i was definately naive coming in here. I have found most the men around my age are looking to play and not a stable relationship. They are wanting the trophy girl. Sad actually experience is a great thing. I am finding it real discouraging.
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 275
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 7:28:24 AM
And I think the whole, “gotta test drive the product before buying,” argument is stupid and sickening. I value myself and my body MUCH more than that.

I’ve never “itched” so desperately I’d toss my “beliefs” and let just any man scratch me, and I never will.


+1!

That was what I was trying to say, a while back on a couple of threads that touch on this issue.
Glad you provided exactly the thinking and words to go with it and that other women are willing to tell me they feel this way.

If I got all my feedback from men ... in my experience so far, on here and irl, MOST not all, would just call me a prude and brow beat me out of my "fake" virginal habits! ( pun intended) I can't believe attitudes have changed SO little for so many men AND women, on here and in the dating pool, irl at least. Most of my friends are :taken: and don't have this attitude and NEVER did!

Little do brow beating forum posters AND dates know, I tried it the other way ... much to my parents and eventually my own horror in the 70's when I left home at a very young age to live on communes.So that "try it you MIGHT like it" ... "loosen up you prude", that comes so often from men on these forums, just does NOT wash with me.

I'm not going to tell my dates I've been there done that, right away, if ever. I am what I am now! I want the focus for both of us to be on the current me who has been more me ( rather than just pleasing someone who is aggressive to keep them from hurting or bothering me again) for much longer ( decades) than the wild woman/ child it seems guys are sure is the match they want to make a life with. I can understand why, looking back, but I've grown to understand it's a horrible trap to be someone's ideal if that ideal causes me to have no life, no accomodation for my needs( or very little) and NO mutual respect.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 276
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:01:07 AM
^^ I agree. What is often lacking is mutual respect. The ones who think a woman needs to prove their love by jumping into bed with him are not respecting a womans desire to get to know a man on all levels. I am no prude, however I am not going to bed hop to prove to anyone my ability to connect. I think too many people are so scarred and do not know how to relate on a higher level. I think if someone wants to just have FWB.. that is fine.. go do it, but leave me out of that game. I am not seeking a whimp either, just someone who gives what I do into the relationship and shows respect for differences. I am not saying those who do this are wrong or less than or anything else, I am saying that is just not how I define a long term relationship or mutual respect.
 PeekaBoo52
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 277
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:39:32 PM
well excuse me for making a typo Miss perfect....wow pretty critical when you knew what I meant. geeeez
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 278
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 9:52:42 PM
dang you old farts really arent as romantic as the younger guys....y'all need to read books or watch soft porn. Get with it guys :) I said that in a sweet southern voice ...lol


love the southern voice ..but ,
to turn it around ... do you really want to hear me list
what the younger ladies have thats missing in the older ..?

didn't think so
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 279
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:41:51 AM

PeekaBoo52
well excuse me for making a typo Miss perfect....wow pretty critical when you knew what I meant. geeeez


As someone who has been online since before the WWW, you may need to toughen up your skin, or you're going to be bothered a lot by other posters. The posts on these forums are pretty mild compared to some more wide open ones.
 purplepalooza
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 280
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/2/2013 11:32:50 PM
Wow...I'll be 50 next year....and this thread really makes me dread it even more. :(
 mjl58
Joined: 3/8/2013
Msg: 281
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 2:44:51 AM
Men looking for younger women... really? I have two kids and I don't want any more. In saying that I mean a younger woman would be like putting up with a child. Don't worry lady. There are many men who want there own age. We know were its at.
 modeenak
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 282
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 5:44:56 PM
I'm right there with you LCDizme12! I'd love to meet just 1 "normal" man who is seriously looking for that great friend/love for his life! Good luck to you!
 1mainegrlinvt
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 283
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 9:42:58 PM
I find the same issue. I've been on several dates that we seemed to connect on many levels,but as soon as I refuse the sexual advances (because I really have to have a connection to even want to have sex) I never hear from the guy again. It's really frustrating.
 InShapeAndToned56
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 284
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/4/2013 5:12:25 AM

Firefly1954: Most men on here, over 50 are looking for "younger women" in their 30s and 40's


I don't know about most men on pof, but I'm 55 and not looking your young women. I'm looking for someone within 5 years (up or down) who's in the same phase of her life as I am. To those who say "age is just a number" I say "nonsense"!!! (It's a rationalization)

Keep on looking cause there are plenty of real men who are looking for relationships and friendship first with women their age!!! And one more point I'd like to make. Many women in there fifties and older are absolutely"Stunning"!!!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 285
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:38:30 PM

I find the same issue. I've been on several dates that we seemed to connect on many levels,but as soon as I refuse the sexual advances (because I really have to have a connection to even want to have sex) I never hear from the guy again. It's really frustrating.


Do you realize how confusing that statement is?

1) You need a connection to want to have sex.

2) We connect on many levels.

3) Yet you refuse my sexual advances.

I would be left to wonder, do we really connect on many levels? Do you really desire a sexual relationship?

Can you express why after connecting on many levels that wasn't enough, what more were you looking for?
 LeoGirl62
Joined: 4/6/2013
Msg: 286
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/21/2013 5:57:05 PM
I have to disagree with this Firefly 1954's post about the younger men are looking for younger ladies. I think they're quite a few looking for older or "mature" woman, as one explained to me in an email. I think they saw to many movies about that had a "cougar" or "MILF" story line!!! Or they are looking for a sugar mama!! LOL
 MissMe1037
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 287
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/23/2013 6:14:30 PM
I actually agree with you :-)
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