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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating in our 50's      Home login  
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 fabfunky50
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 274
Dating in our 50'sPage 14 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Well i was definately naive coming in here. I have found most the men around my age are looking to play and not a stable relationship. They are wanting the trophy girl. Sad actually experience is a great thing. I am finding it real discouraging.
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 275
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 7:28:24 AM
And I think the whole, “gotta test drive the product before buying,” argument is stupid and sickening. I value myself and my body MUCH more than that.

I’ve never “itched” so desperately I’d toss my “beliefs” and let just any man scratch me, and I never will.


+1!

That was what I was trying to say, a while back on a couple of threads that touch on this issue.
Glad you provided exactly the thinking and words to go with it and that other women are willing to tell me they feel this way.

If I got all my feedback from men ... in my experience so far, on here and irl, MOST not all, would just call me a prude and brow beat me out of my "fake" virginal habits! ( pun intended) I can't believe attitudes have changed SO little for so many men AND women, on here and in the dating pool, irl at least. Most of my friends are :taken: and don't have this attitude and NEVER did!

Little do brow beating forum posters AND dates know, I tried it the other way ... much to my parents and eventually my own horror in the 70's when I left home at a very young age to live on communes.So that "try it you MIGHT like it" ... "loosen up you prude", that comes so often from men on these forums, just does NOT wash with me.

I'm not going to tell my dates I've been there done that, right away, if ever. I am what I am now! I want the focus for both of us to be on the current me who has been more me ( rather than just pleasing someone who is aggressive to keep them from hurting or bothering me again) for much longer ( decades) than the wild woman/ child it seems guys are sure is the match they want to make a life with. I can understand why, looking back, but I've grown to understand it's a horrible trap to be someone's ideal if that ideal causes me to have no life, no accomodation for my needs( or very little) and NO mutual respect.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 276
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:01:07 AM
^^ I agree. What is often lacking is mutual respect. The ones who think a woman needs to prove their love by jumping into bed with him are not respecting a womans desire to get to know a man on all levels. I am no prude, however I am not going to bed hop to prove to anyone my ability to connect. I think too many people are so scarred and do not know how to relate on a higher level. I think if someone wants to just have FWB.. that is fine.. go do it, but leave me out of that game. I am not seeking a whimp either, just someone who gives what I do into the relationship and shows respect for differences. I am not saying those who do this are wrong or less than or anything else, I am saying that is just not how I define a long term relationship or mutual respect.
 PeekaBoo52
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 277
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:39:32 PM
well excuse me for making a typo Miss perfect....wow pretty critical when you knew what I meant. geeeez
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 278
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/25/2013 9:52:42 PM
dang you old farts really arent as romantic as the younger guys....y'all need to read books or watch soft porn. Get with it guys :) I said that in a sweet southern voice ...lol


love the southern voice ..but ,
to turn it around ... do you really want to hear me list
what the younger ladies have thats missing in the older ..?

didn't think so
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 279
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:41:51 AM

PeekaBoo52
well excuse me for making a typo Miss perfect....wow pretty critical when you knew what I meant. geeeez


As someone who has been online since before the WWW, you may need to toughen up your skin, or you're going to be bothered a lot by other posters. The posts on these forums are pretty mild compared to some more wide open ones.
 purplepalooza
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 280
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/2/2013 11:32:50 PM
Wow...I'll be 50 next year....and this thread really makes me dread it even more. :(
 mjl58
Joined: 3/8/2013
Msg: 281
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 2:44:51 AM
Men looking for younger women... really? I have two kids and I don't want any more. In saying that I mean a younger woman would be like putting up with a child. Don't worry lady. There are many men who want there own age. We know were its at.
 modeenak
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 282
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 5:44:56 PM
I'm right there with you LCDizme12! I'd love to meet just 1 "normal" man who is seriously looking for that great friend/love for his life! Good luck to you!
 1mainegrlinvt
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 283
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History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/3/2013 9:42:58 PM
I find the same issue. I've been on several dates that we seemed to connect on many levels,but as soon as I refuse the sexual advances (because I really have to have a connection to even want to have sex) I never hear from the guy again. It's really frustrating.
 InShapeAndToned56
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 284
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/4/2013 5:12:25 AM

Firefly1954: Most men on here, over 50 are looking for "younger women" in their 30s and 40's


I don't know about most men on pof, but I'm 55 and not looking your young women. I'm looking for someone within 5 years (up or down) who's in the same phase of her life as I am. To those who say "age is just a number" I say "nonsense"!!! (It's a rationalization)

Keep on looking cause there are plenty of real men who are looking for relationships and friendship first with women their age!!! And one more point I'd like to make. Many women in there fifties and older are absolutely"Stunning"!!!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 285
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:38:30 PM

I find the same issue. I've been on several dates that we seemed to connect on many levels,but as soon as I refuse the sexual advances (because I really have to have a connection to even want to have sex) I never hear from the guy again. It's really frustrating.


Do you realize how confusing that statement is?

1) You need a connection to want to have sex.

2) We connect on many levels.

3) Yet you refuse my sexual advances.

I would be left to wonder, do we really connect on many levels? Do you really desire a sexual relationship?

Can you express why after connecting on many levels that wasn't enough, what more were you looking for?
 LeoGirl62
Joined: 4/6/2013
Msg: 286
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/21/2013 5:57:05 PM
I have to disagree with this Firefly 1954's post about the younger men are looking for younger ladies. I think they're quite a few looking for older or "mature" woman, as one explained to me in an email. I think they saw to many movies about that had a "cougar" or "MILF" story line!!! Or they are looking for a sugar mama!! LOL
 MissMe1037
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 287
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 4/23/2013 6:14:30 PM
I actually agree with you :-)
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