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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating in our 50's      Home login  
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 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 76
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Dating in our 50'sPage 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Not naive OP....just not realistic.....

You said it first and foremost in your opening statement......"While I look for chemistry".......and there you have it!! Men do too, but unfortunately for far to many, their rationale for the results differ from yours and many women.

Attraction is a necessity for both, chemistry a must, and now we get down to the reality of it all......"compatibility".....and with that the road divides many many times, because your wants, needs, and desires, can far differ from the men you are interested in. It has been, and will continue to be that a women will have sex in order to have a relationship, and a man will have a relationship in order to have sex......and how the two of these meet and match becomes the dating game!

Do not play the game until you know the rules, have input on them, and if not happy, be satisfied to take your game and go home, because that is what many many men have been doing all along.....playing your game, with your rules, and even though not what they want, they try to get theirs in every once in awhile, or they take their board and go home!

There is much to a real relationship, and sex will be a huge one for many, so, if not huge for you.....only pick those that think the same way, and I for one will not head down that road, because I have been there and done that, and if sex is not important now, it will be even less later on.......go figure

cd
 genovista
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 77
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/8/2013 2:03:00 PM
Halcyon_Skies you hit it on point. we all want to test drive the ride first. who are we kidding. some people are into one night stands and others are not prevailing a few drinks. You kept it real girl. it dont get no real than this.
 hiplainscowboy
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 78
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/8/2013 2:03:15 PM
I date mostly ladies close toy age 55 and have had a lot of fun on most of them. Haven't met any bitter ladies. It's a hell of a lot more fun to date now than when I was in high school.
 hiplainscowboy
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 79
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/8/2013 2:17:17 PM
I'm not looking for younger women I'm 55 and want to date someone my age and do and usually have a great time on dates. If there sex thrown it great if not i don't disappear.
 DancingSuzi
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 80
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/9/2013 4:06:11 PM
I find some men in their 50's look in the mirror and see a guy in his 30's, I find a lot of them are looking for hook ups and just sex rather than a relationship and the one's who are looking for something more dont even try to look good when meeting you for the first time. I have started shopping in the mid 40's store they still try hard and look good even if they are only trying to get you into bed.
 HappyGal1960
Joined: 12/23/2012
Msg: 81
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/9/2013 6:30:49 PM
I divorced 2 years ago.....and have been on POF about that long..I have learned so much through these forums,

and have had some dates that were kind of fun......and even dated someone for a short period......the best thing I have learned is i am okay alone...and certainly not lonely..and if I feel that I am lonely...will find a way to volunteer my time to a great cause.....somewhere a long the way, I a might meet a wonderful man who might think I am a great lady....and if not, I will be okay too....
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 82
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/9/2013 11:32:38 PM
I thought men in their 50's would be looking for a stable, fun and attractive woman....but it is STILL about hookups.


Yes, OP. This will keep happening as long as you women keep passing over the "nice guys". You're the ones constantly complaining about men being too nice, not mysterious enough or not having a bit of bad boy edge, etc..., then you whine when the men you choose focus on sex. Duhh....

Some women (maybe you) don't even realize they're choosing these kind of guys. Believe me, there are many guys out there that fit the type you CLAIM you're really looking for, but apparently they're "not good looking enough" or "don't make enough money" or "don't own their own house" or don't have the social status you're seeking, or even ridiculous things like they don't own a smart phone, lol (an actual dealbreaker on one woman's profile).



Do not blame MY social skills for other people's bad behavior. Sorry - but nothing I said or did deserved it. Nothing in my pictures, my bio or our conversation beforehand.



I hate to say it, but YOU are the one choosing to meet these guys. "Nothing in our conversation" - guess what? During the conversation, YOU agreed to meet them. You're the one falling for whatever tricks it is they use in their messages to you. They're pick up artists. Maybe you're attracted to that type initially because they come across as witty, or smooth, self-confident, bla bla bla. Maybe you should start tabulating the commonalities amongst these types & avvoid them. Gain some awareness. And start meeting the other types you normally pass over. Pretty simple, really.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 83
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/9/2013 11:43:38 PM
Perhaps my experiences on this site vary from most women but the men I met and dated were not looking for a 'hookup'. They were interested in getting to seriously know a woman and in having a long term, committed relationship. Not one of the men I dated was only interested in sex. Of course, sex is a big part of a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship but never was I made to feel it was the priority. It certainly wasn't with my husband since we lived almost 10,000 miles apart and it was 4 1/2 months before we got to meet in person.

The funny thing I've found is that many of my male friends that I've met on here have told me that the women they meet are more into having just a sexual relationship than they are. I've know a few guys who have broken off seeing a woman because all she was interested in was sex and not in developing something more substantial.
 barra62
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 84
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/9/2013 11:53:35 PM
Seems like just another stupid gender war .

What a waste of time these sites are .
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 85
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/10/2013 6:25:18 AM
Forum Filly: I have heard the same thing from several men. I also often see those women who throw themselves at men thinking sex will keep the male ending up very disappointed. I have also seen them taking the attitude of I will use him before he uses me.. its really kind of sad. Not every man on here is seeking sex or a 20 year old Barbie. maybe some people really need to screen better.
 allica13
Joined: 10/27/2011
Msg: 86
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:07:39 PM
I have gotten worse questions in first chats! Simply incredible!
Statements like, its been so long since I've had sex, can you help me out? That may be part of the reason its been so long. lol
 kikmytirez
Joined: 12/27/2012
Msg: 87
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:30:54 PM
I guess I must be the exception. I enjoy sex, of course, but I don't want flings or one night stands or whatever. I truly want to have a relationship, the "best Firends and Lovers" situation. Never been big on Wham Bam relationships.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 88
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:08:49 PM
That's how the women say it is chemistry, Same thing different day, nothing changes. If you are not a "pretty boy" there is not much here for you . From what I have been seeing being a honest, decent ,person means absolutely nothing unless you also a pretty boy . One problem is the pretty boys are the ones that treat women poorly but for some reason the ladies keep going back to them. I remember back where I grew up on a farm. turned the bulk tank for milk on one time with wet hands. Never made that mistake again,
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 89
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:35:06 PM
I, for one, don't go for 'pretty boys', ^^ so best not to generalize.

Give me a rugged man any day!!
 howiemaui2000
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 90
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:19:59 AM
Wow, you must have met some realers. Most guys in their 50's feel like alotofwomen think after 50 we are totally useless and couch potatoes, so the nice guys really looking for relationships,uallyt stay quiet and wait for someone to write to them first. Its not a shy thing but a general feeling of stereotyping guys older then 50.. We are not all alike,
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 91
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 10:01:26 AM
The one other thing that has to be taken into account is the ratio. From what I am hearing it is more than 25 guys for every woman on here .Its pretty obvious the girls got to many to pick from to be able to make a choice (which will probably the same type of guy they had before and reason they are single). With those odds stacked against a decent , honest , average guy . all I can think is good luck.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 92
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:27:04 AM

Funny I find it just the opposite. I just joined this site and all the men pretty much state they don't want to chat or email.?
I'd rather talk a bit thru email first. Not a 100% guarantee, but you sure 'can' get a feel thru talking if you think it would be even worth it to meet.


I just replied to someone who asked if I wanted to go for coffee or a drink as he would like to meet me. My response was that I would prefer to chat a bit first. He said that was the whole point of meeting right away, getting to know someone.

That may be the last I hear from him....it happens a lot on here. The old disappearing act...lol

...mae
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 93
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:58:42 AM
^^^^^^^^ Your constant harping about men rejecting you based on your appearance is getting old. You don't have an ugly face. You're being rejected by men over things that are in your power to change. Stop with all the negativity and do something about it, then.

vvvvvvv Oh, give me a break.
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 94
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 4:46:28 PM
I can hardly date in my 40's much less 50's.

The handful of women who message me are, well, they look WAY older then they are saying they are.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 95
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:18:25 PM
^^^^Tough talk coming from a man with no photo on his profile...pfffft.
 1_4_Forumsonly
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 96
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:33:06 PM

Most guys in their 50's feel like alotofwomen think after 50 we are totally useless and couch potatoes, so the nice guys really looking for relationships,uallyt stay quiet and wait for someone to write to them first. Its not a shy thing but a general feeling of stereotyping guys older then 50..


Hmm..I wrote to lots of fellas 50-55...rarely got a reply lol ... maybe it's a Canuckistanian thing .. or it was just me being "their age" and they had illusions of hooking a young un. *shrug* Whatever.. doesn't matter anymore.
 CateyBuckley
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 97
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:02:16 PM
This forum seems to be for a munu for ment to ask for "sexy" pictures and sexting. I want a real guy with a real conversation. Is there anyone just one good guy left? the men my age are dating women 15 year younger, look at thier search criteria? Just one my age?
 mjphoto58
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 98
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/14/2013 12:16:45 AM
Most women in their late 40's and 50's only want a guy with cash. They have been spoiled n the past now they want it all. I hear it all the time. Guys want sex and gals want cash. Easy
 SpeedracerSmith
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 99
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/14/2013 5:54:22 AM

Most women in their late 40's and 50's only want a guy with cash. They have been spoiled n the past now they want it all. I hear it all the time. Guys want sex and gals want cash. Easy



DISAGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Generalization if I ever heard one! Most of the women I know make enough of their own money and just want a nice guy. I have a girlfriend who is a successful business owner and dated a gardener.
 LCDizme12
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 100
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/14/2013 6:15:26 AM
I am the OP. I went on a meet and greet yesterday. He is my age...I am probably more financially stable than he is (and not because of any ex)....he is not gorgeous....but he was the sweetest guy I have been out with in forever. What a delightful surprise! I am saying this to point out that most of us gals are just looking for a nice guy with whom we have some attraction - and that is not based on money and looks.
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