Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating in our 50's      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 126
Dating in our 50'sPage 6 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Sciencetreker: You have the right attitude. A few years back when I had to pay a babysitter just to get out, yes, it often cost me way more than a couple of drinks and a dinner. I was dating a man back then that often offered to pay my sitter as well. Yes, I appreciated all of his kindnesses and often made him dinner, was sure to always have his favorite drink and snacks at the house and bought weekend getaways for him once I was financial able. I suppose I was raised old school when a man asked me out, he paid. Often he makes way more money and I have 3 people to support on less income than he does. As for the men who think that women should pay, good luck with that.
 rob4320
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 127
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:21:04 AM
I don't know what other men want but I am looking for a stable, fun, and attractive women.
Chemistry, lol Its just another word for lust, love at first sight, chemistry. (all the same)
Real love takes time, so look for a best friend in a man first.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 128
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:23:40 AM
The irony is that many women will offer to pay their share to be polite---however, if you take them up on their offer, and you were the one to extend the invitation, chances are high they wouldn't go out with you again, anyway.


I call that a win-win.


As for the men who think that women should pay, good luck with that.


It doesn't take luck to find women who are willing to pay their share, it only requires that a guy actually look for it. There are plenty of attractive women out there that do not expect a free meal and free entertainment every time they grace a man with their presence.

It has been my experience that women who expect the man to pay when he asks a woman out also expect the man to do all the asking. It's the Catch 22 of dating them. I just say thanks, but no thanks.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 129
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:32:20 AM
Paderic, maybe we were raised different. I am not say a women should never pay, I often offer and I do cook dinners, have offered to wash a man car and do other nice things for him. It balances out in the end with the right person. I wouldn't want to date a man that had his concern being who paid and always paranoid he was getting ripped off. I am a lady and expect to be treated as such. If finances are hard for him, there are plenty of free dates like walks in the park, free concerts, etc. I never ask for a free dinner meeting, in fact always suggest a coffee or a drink and I do offer to pay for it. Meeting someone and dating someone are two different things in my opinion.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 130
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:37:28 AM

Millionaire Matchmaker, now that sounds like a show for the brain dead.


Ouch!!!! Direct hit.



I don't know what other men want but I am looking for a stable, fun, and attractive women.

I'm looking for the same qualities in a man. And may I add, positive attitude.


Real love takes time, so look for a best friend in a man first.


Where is the "like" button when you need it?


...mae
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 131
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:50:07 AM

Paderic, maybe we were raised different. I am not say a women should never pay, I often offer and I do cook dinners, have offered to wash a man car and do other nice things for him. It balances out in the end with the right person. I wouldn't want to date a man that had his concern being who paid and always paranoid he was getting ripped off. I am a lady and expect to be treated as such. If finances are hard for him, there are plenty of free dates like walks in the park, free concerts, etc. I never ask for a free dinner meeting, in fact always suggest a coffee or a drink and I do offer to pay for it. Meeting someone and dating someone are two different things in my opinion.


I was raised to not be a mooch and to pay for what I consume.

I'm not paranoid about being ripped off, I've just always found women who approach dating with a sense of fairness to be better company. Finances are not hard for me, in fact I would say I've got it pretty easy in that regard.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 132
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:26:28 AM
I have never mooched anything in my life. I support myself and my 2 kids without child support I may add. I own my own home and 2 cars. I worked very hard for everything I have. I just think your attitude is very negative and you think being old fashioned and a gentlemen is wrong. I say to each his own.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 133
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:31:31 AM

I was raised to not be a mooch and to pay for what I consume.

I'm not paranoid about being ripped off, I've just always found women who approach dating with a sense of fairness to be better company.


What you really mean is that you find women with your sense of fairness to be better company. What people consider fair can be subjective.

I was raised with the understanding that if you invite someone on a date, regardless of whether you're the man or the woman, it is your treat (unless agreed upon beforehand it will be Dutch)---therefore, it's on you.

By the same token, whomever is invited should offer to pay their share out of politeness---and should bring enough cash to do so if it becomes necessary.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 134
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:48:36 AM

I was raised to not be a mooch and to pay for what I consume.

I'm not paranoid about being ripped off, I've just always found women who approach dating with a sense of fairness to be better company. ...

I was raised the same way. I do pay for what I consume and I have no expectations of "entitlement" for anything in my life.
My thoughts are if you cannot afford to pay for your half of what going on a date and/or meet and greet entails then you probably should remove yourself from the dating scene until such time as you are able to. To expect someone else to "pay your way" is clearly an expectation of entitlement.

Having said that, more often than not, when going on a meet and greet or a full-fledged date, I will often pick up the entire tab for both parties irregardless of who did the asking.
 Don1343
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 135
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 9:16:51 AM
Well I am 66 and would never evr ask those type of questions??? What a jerk! Let me say there some out there that do not represent these types who are rude and crude! Including me! I am sorry you women must experience the stories such as these! Just thought I would include my two cents worth! My first time to post! Donnie
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 136
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 9:20:13 AM
Thanks Don.. I think maybe the younger generation just does not understand how it was. To call women mooches is truly disrespectful and nasty. You are so right and I for one am glad to see there are at least some gentlemen left in the world who get it. Thank you!!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 137
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 11:11:38 AM
mooch and entitlement, imo, are phrases coined by men who never/rarely get laid and do not know how to court and win a lady...

do you think Jackie Bouvier had to pay her 1/2 of the dinner on her 1st date w/ JFK???
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 11:57:23 AM
LOL Blonde Angel.. you are so right. I know I never have. I choose to date gentleman, and I have never once been coined a mooch, in fact everyone who knows me says I am one of the most caring and giving people they know. I will remain a lady looking for a gentleman thank you very much.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 139
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 12:09:52 PM
I wouldn't be interested in dating a man who, in his 50's, needs be concerned about spending $20 on me....and the reverse. My frustration is the other way, my man won't let me pay for anything so I try to do little things for him to show I care. He gets a bigger thrill if a splurge on some lingerie

I don't mind being old fashion. Happy to leave ' balance sheet' dating to younger people.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 140
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 12:14:29 PM
What dating in our 50's? Today's inbox is a carbon copy of yesterday's inbox. And once again I ponder the disconnect between the 50something daters' "Must Have" mindset vs. the 50something "Have to offer" reality. Today's "sample" below has been slightly modified to respect the anonymity of the gentleman who just sent it. However, not much had to be modified. Because it is a carbon copy of yesterday's mail.
And the mail that arrived the day before yesterday. And the week before that. And the month before that. And. . .
My reply, however, is a first. And I do wonder: is there any middle-aged profilee on this forum unable to relate to the above "non dating in our 50's experience"? If so, what is the secret of your success? Because I confess: I'm more clueless by the inbox!


Hello,
I saw your profile and I like what I see. You look very sweet and interesting.
I have a business in the city and Iive in_____ on 4.5 acres of paradise. I have a beautiful big pond and 13 pet ducks that are so much fun and lay lots of very special tasting eggs. I also have 3 cats and 2 parrots. My greatest loves are science and nature along with a generous sprinkling of the arts of all kinds..... . I love going to auctions and garagsales in search of hidden treasures and I collect lots of art and antiques in hopes of it one day becoming a side business. I consider myself a Scientist first... an artist second... a businessman and a philosopher and I am very, very passionate about so many other things. I consider myself to be very much a "Romantic" in so many ways.
If you are interested in communicating then I will send you my phone number or you can send yours and I will call ASAP. My regular email address is _____ I hope to hear back from you soon and learn more about you,
"Gentleman X (and Y and Z, and AA and BB and XX. . . )



Ready_Real
1/16/2013 _________ AM

Dear _____________,
Thank you for the note. Please feel free to disregard the rest of this e-mail, but should you decide to keep reading, I add the following: upon reading your profile, the genuinely sincere nature I sense in your e-mail above appears to be undercut by that profile itself. Your profile stereotypes you as an overweight balding educated financially secure male who feels quite comfortable in clarifying his needs for a woman young enough to be his daughter on one end and no older than .5 decade younger than he on the other. I'm rather intellectually challenged at the moment as I struggle to appreciate how/why a man of science such as you profess to be could post such a profile of flagrant disparity in what he has to offer vs. what he seeks to obtain. .
Sincerely ruminating,
"RR"
 torchhunter
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 141
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 12:15:07 PM
a man asks you on a date-he pays-and see's to opening doors,and pulling chairs for you. The way it should always be!!
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 142
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 12:31:39 PM
^^^
That it's what I expect. He doesn't only open doors for me but also for the cleaning lady and, a 16 yeat old teen, his mother and his female employee. A classy guy is a classy guy.

Men should learn that women are very aware of how they treat other women when on a date. This could be the waitress, cashier or some woman going through a door. Is he a genuinely polite fellow or is he just a charmer putting on a show for me?
 cityfangels35
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 143
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 2:03:46 PM
okl i know i have a few years yet before i get to 50 . but i live by 50 yr old men that dont want t ogrow up i even dated a guy in his 50s and he still out there acting like hes in his 20s . even in my mid 30s i have a hard time finding a guy that is wanting one women only . i guess it really depends on the person . i met guys in there 50s that act very imature and want t oplay games and i met guys in there 30s that act older . it really does depend on the person not really age . it depends on their backround or patterns of women . look for red flags
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 144
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:33:52 PM

mooch and entitlement, imo, are phrases coined by men who never/rarely get laid and do not know how to court and win a lady...


In my opinion, a woman who resorts to insinuating that a man can't get laid is not much of a lady.

For those that like old fashioned, what say we go back to the days when women weren't allowed to vote and a wife was regarded as little more than her husband's property?
 SeattleSusan
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 145
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 6:01:27 PM
I'imagine how many dates I get when I make it known I adhere to celibacy prior to marriage? That wasn't always the case, but like you have found, dating turned into a constant stream of men with one thing in mind. I love sex....enough to do without, rather than being taken for a test drive.
 13lilith13
Joined: 10/23/2012
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 6:08:15 PM
[Define Normal] There are twice as many men in the world then women so a normal gie would be taken. Age is not a big issue with me but if I say I like to ride horse and bikes and dance, why would I be interested in caring for an invalid who can't walk and falls asleap in the theater. If I was not looking for a sexual relationship I would not be looking for a man, but I expect to be treated with respect.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 147
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 6:57:55 PM
For those that like old fashioned, what say we go back to the days when women weren't allowed to vote and a wife was regarded as little more than her husband's property?


Some "Old Fashioned Women" seem to want all the benifits of being treated like an equal and all the benifits that used to be part of being a second class citizen. I guess this seems like a fair deal to some woman.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 148
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:09:36 PM
as many dates as you deserve seattle . . . none. The only true way a man knows if he loves a woman and if she loves him is how well they connect on a physical level. We are not teens anymore here and we don't have time to waste. No test drive, no purchase. Good luck.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV not harsh. Just realistic. What guy in his late forties and older is going to want to be deeply involved with a woman who does not want to make love with him? I'm not saying a woman should sleep with just anyone. But if she has developed feelings for a guy and doesn't want to go to that intimate step, she would not be worth dating in my mind.

When I grew up during the sexual revolution, if two people really liked each other, they slept with each other. That was natural. If a girl was too hung up on sex to not want to sleep with a guy, at least in my case, those relationships never lasted. I broke up with some gorgeous, wealthy women over these issues. So is life.

As for paying, I can't remember the last time a woman I was out with paid for anything. After a while, a guy's role is considered provider as much as anything else.
 SpeedracerSmith
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 149
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:22:39 PM
Wow timeforall..a little harsh on Seattle?

I am SO glad I am not dating anymore..I HATE the attitude of these men. I ALWAYS offered to pay on the first couple of dates and after that whoever does the asking..pays. Like someone mentioned earlier...it all evens out in the end. I could never be with someone who constantly kept track of who spent what and when! Do they carry a calculator or keep a spreadsheet?

I don't want to revert to days past and I don't want to be 'liberated' with the benefits of the old fashioned ways. I just want to be treated with respect and without some jerk man over 50 looking at me with suspicion of "mooching" or "gold digging" if he buys me dinner.
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 150
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 12:43:17 AM
PNW women are a motley bunch to start with.

Its like there is this embargo on average (Calif average not PNW) to attractive women in the PNW.

Many ads will say something like "Sassy and very outspoken..." and just translate to overweight to fat and mad at the world.

You think I am joking, you need to live here for at least 1year, you will see what I am talking about.
%95 of the women I see online and in real life , there just is no way in hell I would date them.

The few women who are average and up have an ego as big as a blimp.
Very spoiled women over here and expect to be treated as royalty.

PNW is a single womans dream come true.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating in our 50's