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 Jcmchef
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 151
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Dating in our 50'sPage 7 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
[I don't know what other men want but I am looking for a stable, fun, and attractive women]
[I'm looking for the same qualities in a man. And may I add, positive attitude]

Who knew it would be sooooo difficult ? ;)
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 152
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:00:00 AM
I don't go in for ~Hook-ups~...
I'd much rather make the effort with someone I find attractive...(The 'mutual' part being the difficult part , there...)
and develop the chemistry further...as we go...
You see.....
Not
All
The
Good
Ones
Are
Taken
Also...while I _DO_ understand why many women have certain filters in place...the most irritating one is
Still
~ The Distance Factor ~
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 153
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:35:10 AM

I am SO glad I am not dating anymore..I HATE the attitude of these men. I ALWAYS offered to pay on the first couple of dates and after that whoever does the asking..pays.


You've totally missed the point. If you offer to cover your part of the bill, you're not the type of woman being discussed.


Like someone mentioned earlier...it all evens out in the end. I could never be with someone who constantly kept track of who spent what and when! Do they carry a calculator or keep a spreadsheet?


Except with some women, it doesn't even out. Not even close. When you've gone out nine or ten times and you've covered the entire bill each and every time, it doesn't take an accountant to determine the financial outlay has been a bit one sided. I've just gotten to the point where I cut my losses at two or three dates.


I just want to be treated with respect and without some jerk man over 50 looking at me with suspicion of "mooching" or "gold digging" if he buys me dinner.


I don't have a problem with that. I want to be treated with respect as well, but I don't find the attitude that the man should always pay for everything to be particularly respectful.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 154
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:35:50 AM
Don't you think if you find yourself in a relationship, the female would at least occasionally cook dinner? If you look more long term, the ratio more or less balances out- cooking/eating out. Maybe I'm more of a homebody, lol.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 155
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:44:34 AM

In my opinion, a woman who resorts to insinuating that a man can't get laid is not much of a lady.

For those that like old fashioned, what say we go back to the days when women weren't allowed to vote and a wife was regarded as little more than her husband's property?

yep, it's your opinion...I call a card a card, does not make me less of a lady ;0P

Voting is a political aspect, which should not be confused w/ a romantic/sexual aspect of a woman...50/50 may go for work, politics, school, but when it comes to romantic/sexual relationships, it is an entirely different arena. Aside from different hormones, men & women's brains are wired differently from eachother. They have different thinking processes in their brains...
Evolutionarily, man is the hunter- the provider
Woman is the gatherer, the hearth-keeper, the child-bearer
When it comes to education & career these do not matter per se
but when it comes to non-professional matters...it does
Once someone realizes & accepts these things, it's a whole new world...

there is a new feature on POF You are most likely to date...
I met 1/2 of them, all disasters...the rest, well we have 2 cross dressers, men who r very obese/ugly 20 years older etc. & maybe 1-2 decent men who live in Florida or California...

I'm an attractive woman w/ a 131 IQ who has her own home, assets, no debt, done raising my kids...I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol...I do not see any men locally on my level...so now, I would say I am here for the forums...& if that one in a million man shows up on POF, fine...if not there are other sites, IRL, friends & family

I'm done w/ rotten, stinky fishies, LOL!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 156
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:13:41 AM
Blonde Angel, Its almost a waste of time trying to explain anything to people like him. They see only their side to every issue. I dated a man like that and was married to one too. Its sad in my opinion that anyone could be so selfish and interested in who pays more. There is so much more to a relationship. I have never been accused of giving less in any relationship I have ever had. I may not have had the same amount of money he did, but I know I never once made him feel he was getting cheated out of money. He is one rotten fish to think its all about money. I agree, the most likely to date feature is a joke. The guy who is number one on mine was a flake, number two a sad sack with depression issues, number 3 an addict. I , like you, own a beautiful home, have two great kids, no debt and wonderful friends. Its nearly impossible to meet a man on here who is on our level. They are often angry at their ex, addicted, liars, players or the ones i refer to as sad sacks with nothing to offer. We get accused of being princesses for asking for a man who has to offer only exactly what we give in return. How is that being unfair? For men like him.. he will never get it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 157
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:20:41 AM
You know, ladies, men have the same experience on here as you do. I think its simply the experience of meeting the "public" as oppose to those in your own socio-economic class. The great unwashed masses are....unwashed.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 158
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:28:10 AM

I don't find the attitude that the man should always pay for everything to be particularly respectful.


That's because this is not a respectful way to treat someone .


We get accused of being princesses for asking for a man who has to offer only exactly what we give in return.


If you really believed that you would be contributing exactly your share to the costs in a relationship and if you are like many women I doubt that this item would even be on the table.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 159
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:36:40 AM

You know, ladies, men have the same experience on here as you do. I think its simply the experience of meeting the "public" as oppose to those in your own socio-economic class. The great unwashed masses are....unwashed.
Yes.
When I was actively dating, I would rarely encounter a man who accepted any offer of sharing a bill.
I relationships, I have paid for exotic vacations.

I could never date some of the people that seem to be obsessed with who pays for what.
Sorry.
I grew up watching my parents pick up the check for guests.
My generosity comes out and I would expect those I'm dating to share in a feeling of abundance.
I'm not accustomed to the mindset of some people who frequent these forums.
It's a different perspective on enjoying each other's company. I prefer people with the same mindset and economic advantage as myself.
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 160
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:40:20 AM
The ~Hookup~ happens when...:
You are Both attracted to each other.....enjoy each others company....
in the course of their conversation , are interested in each others likes / dislikes / attitudes toward a variety of topics...and...
Are mature enough to discuss sex and its various branches...etc...
But...most people in their 50's wouldn't classify it as a "Hook-up", anyway!
I'm certainly looking for "..a stable, fun and attractive woman..." . . with 'Attractive' being the initial interest-getter...
But...
there are a Lot of things that I would need to discuss...before getting any form of 'Physical'..
....beyond the Dance Floor!!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 161
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:41:09 AM
Dino57, I clearly stated I was never once accused of not doing my share, in fact supported my second husband completely for two years. I said it balances out in a good relationship. I also stated I have also offered to pay my share on every first meeting I had. What i am looking for is someone I dont have to support, and knows how to treat a lady and does not keep score on every little dinner tab. I spent years paying babysitters just to go out so how was I being cheap there? ( Most men I dated, their ex wives had the kiddos so it cost them nothing.. I did not have that luxury) I also very honest and repay every kindness 10 fold. I know why so many good women stop dating on this site, mentalities like yours. I personally have contributed way more in some of my relationships and that includes financially. Why is it wrong for a woman to ask for her equal? Yes in the early dating it may appear a man pays more, but it never goes unnoticed by men like you. I think you need to check your anger and get over your past and stop trying to date women who were not raised to believe they owe a man anything. Maybe one of the pother posters is right. I was raised when men were gentlemen and this was never even a topic of discussion.
 bella0800
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 162
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:43:53 AM
This was my delusion too. I thought we were grown ups by age 50 but for most men that is not so. I agree the chemistry needs to be there but are we really expected to hop into bed with somone after a 2 hr. date? I think not but I keep hoping that there is at least one guy out there that feels like I do. Slow it down, get to know each other and have fun and that will make sex fantastic and lasting instead of a booty call. I am glad to know that it not only happens to me though.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 163
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:04:48 AM
Why do you women think we are all ready to hop into bed with you. Maybe you all haven't noticed, but you all hardly look like you did when you were twenty before you had children. You, many of you, are un-toned, overweight, etc. etc. Add to that your bad attitudes and you are not so attractive to us that sex is always on our minds. When I was 20, I wanted to hop into bed with almost any decent looking 20 year old female I dated. Shoot, it is the rare 45 year old plus woman I look at and say to myself "I just need to get into her panties". If anything, I would be pleasantly surprised that I was so attracted to an older woman that I felt enough passion to want to jump into bed her without first really getting to like her. And believe me, its not a question of ability or libido, at least in my case. Simply a question of attraction.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 164
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:17:48 AM
Why do you women think we are all ready to hop into bed with you. Maybe you all haven't noticed, but you all hardly look like you did when you were twenty before you had children. You, many of you, are un-toned, overweight, etc. etc. Add to that your bad attitudes and you are not so attractive to us that sex is always on our minds.


simple really, they obviously don't need more food stuffed into the cake hole to quell the irritating
innocuous rambling, stuffing it with something else comes to mind, so ya, it can get sexual real fast..

brownie?
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 165
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:18:58 AM

You, many of you, are un-toned, overweight, etc. etc. Shoot, it is the rare 45 year old plus wo/man I look at If anything, I would be pleasantly surprised that I was so attracted to an older wo/man that I felt enough passion to want to jump into bed with her/him


--- ever no matter how much mutual respect and companionable connectedness we might develop ---


And believe me, its not a question of ability or libido,
or the sincere desire for the last love of my life


. . . simply a question of attraction.


Yep.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 166
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:24:01 AM
Don't you think if you find yourself in a relationship, the female would at least occasionally cook dinner? If you look more long term, the ratio more or less balances out- cooking/eating out. Maybe I'm more of a homebody, lol.


Don't you think that if I find myself in a relationship (which I am) that I will cook dinner for her as often as she cooks dinner for me? Or is that another of those things that you don't believe because it doesn't fit your neat little gender stereotypes?

Why would I let a relationship even become long term when my own experience has taught me it's unlikely to change? If I don't want to date someone, I have the right to not date them.


yep, it's your opinion...I call a card a card, does not make me less of a lady


Making snide, unfounded remarks about someone just because you disagree with them most definitely makes you less of a lady, whether you want to accept that or not.


Blonde Angel, Its almost a waste of time trying to explain anything to people like him.


Any time you set out to tell someone that your opinion is the only acceptable opinion a person can have, you probably are wasting your time.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 167
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:24:41 AM
I dont know how this became about sex again. I dont think some or your rude remarks do anything but show all the women on this site exactly what you are. Most if not all are dodging a bullet by avoiding you. Yes, we may not all look 20 any more, but not bad at all for 50 but neither do 50 year old men. I think some have a magic mirror. i look for way more than a perfect body and jumping into bed with losers who are all about the look is just nothing something most of us are even interested in. If you think you are so hot, go date a 20 year old. Good luck to you
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 168
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:34:21 AM
One of the main reasons women can't find that good man they are looking for. Umm you put him in your friend zone ? The guy been standing right next to you being a friend .But then I have heard women talk about guys in their friend zone like they are good dogs or something. Thinking they look at us as merely surplus labor to get what they want.I think us men are finally starting to wake up.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 169
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 10:38:10 AM
I dont have men in the friend zone. I think like a lot of women on here, we seek a gentlemen who is kind and wants a real honest relationship. They are very hard to find. Most of the responses I got with an active dating profile were not people I would want to date. they had big issues like drinking, drugs, bitter about their ex, or not gentlemen at all. I also got quite a few hunting fishing and camping guys.. nothing at all wrong with those sports, just not at all the things I would find interesting or fun.
 SeattleSusan
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 170
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 12:19:03 PM
Gotta be honest, I'm laughing as I read this whole thread. Who said being in our 50's means we're smarter, more grown up or better suited to relationships. Or able to carry on civil conversations. Each of us still has an 18 year old (or younger!) lurking inside us, and discussions like this bring that out.
 CKris4real
Joined: 7/15/2012
Msg: 171
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:32:20 PM
SeattleSusan, I'm with you and was also laughing. It surprised me, as a new reader of these forums; how childish and mean spirited these threads can get, from both sides. Fortunately they only represent a small population and I hope, members of this site as well, otherwise what would be the point if all men or all women think this way !
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 172
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:06:22 PM
I spent years paying babysitters just to go out so how was I being cheap there?


Your children are your financial responsibility not the financial responsibility of the person you are just starting to date - you did after all choose to bring them into the world.


I also very honest and repay every kindness 10 fold.


Does 10 fold mean equal in your vocabulary.


I think you need to check your anger and get over your past and stop trying to date women who were not raised to believe they owe a man anything


I have no anger but it seems you do. None of the women I have dated in the past believed they owed a man anything ... some felt that a man owed them something ... it went along with thier attitude of entitlement I suppose - fortunately I have also met and dated women who are not of this ilk.

 softshoe100
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 173
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:08:12 PM
Yep still have that 18 year old inside just have a little trouble finding him. Gosh if you have to keep a score card as to who paid for what it's just makes the whole dating thing useless. Most of us just want a mutual respect and kindness from whoever we are seeing not a score card.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 174
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Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:26:30 PM
Making snide, unfounded remarks about someone just because you disagree with them most definitely makes you less of a lady, whether you want to accept that or not.
------------
I think the majority of your posts are snide....

Don't you think that if I find myself in a relationship (which I am) that I will cook dinner for her as often as she cooks dinner for me? Or is that another of those things that you don't believe because it doesn't fit your neat little gender stereotypes?

-----------
My guy happens to come to my house the majority of the time, so I do most of the cooking, which I enjoy. So in my case, it equals out.
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 175
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:29:22 PM
ur not naive,,,you look great
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