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 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 26
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dogs on datesPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Unless your friend actually likes dogs, I honestly don't see much chance for this relationship. I think many people think that if it's a small dog, the biting/aggressiveness isn't serious so they just kind of brush it off.

He doesnt want the dog in the house,

I don't think a relationship with a dog lover where the dog isn't allowed is at all possible. Your friend might consider other options, if he really wants this relationship to work. He needs to explain to his lady friend that he doesn't want to be bitten, he doesn't want his tenant bitten and that he's willing to help address the dog's issues with her. If she can't or won't meet him halfway (at least) then he'll have to move on. The dog has some issues, and fixing those issues even with the dog's owner being completely on board will take considerable time and patience.

Here are some things to consider, in case your friend wants to keep the GF and work on the dog.

the dog wasnt in the house 3 minutes before it took a piss on the "new" carpet. ... The dog has already biten my friend twice

I'm guessing the dog is anxious or scared and is using aggression in an attempt to keep scary people away. Your friend should note the dog's body language; if his tail is tucked, if the weight of his body tends to be toward his back legs, and/or the whites of his eyes show, that's an indication of fear. A more confident dog will tend to stand square, their tail won't be tucked. Most dogs will give plenty of "back off" warnings before actually biting. Dogs who don't may have learned that their "back off" warnings have been ignored, and that biting works.

How does your friend interact with the dog? My suggestion would be that he spend considerable time ignoring this dog. He could toss treats to it from time to time, and eventually the dog may decide he's no threat. He should avoid looming over the dog, or trying to pet him, especially on his head. If he feels inclined to pet and the dog seems receptive, petting the chest or under the jaw will be less threatening. The dog should be allowed to make friendly advances on his own terms, not be held to some human standard. I suggest they invest in a small kennel for the dog to stay at his house, and teach the dog to love the kennel as his 'safe place where good things happen'. This will prevent accidents on the carpet, and bites. Of course, he'll have to get his GF on board with this plan.

Maybe they can get a spot on Victoria Stillwell's "It's Me or the Dog". There's also lots of good info on the web about body language and dog behavior. Avoid stuff that recommends physical corrections such as hitting, leash jerking, yelling, etc. Those methods can make an aggressive dog more aggressive and a fearful dog more fearful, resulting in a more dangerous dog. There are also things that can be done to teach "bounce off the walls" type dogs to be more calm and controlled.

Despite his popularity, The Dog Whisperer is not a good training guide, especially for fearful and anxious dogs. He keeps a lot of real dog trainers in business since they have to go in afterward to try to reverse the damage his methods do.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 27
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 11:33:43 AM

This dog is a fox terrier,


Terrier, or "terror"?

While I am a huge dog lover and animal lover in general, this particular dog would wear out its welcome very quickly with me.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 28
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 2:25:21 PM
Dump the "bit*h".
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 29
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 3:30:36 PM
The responses here are interesting.

The "cat" or me story on another forum was not well received and the girl with the cat was told to move on because the boyfriend who didn't like the cat was a jerk. All the "animals are more important than people" quotes were abundant....now it is a dog and the "other"persons side of the story. The guy is told to move on because the girl who owns the dog is not so good. But why did the guy not want the cat around??? Was it because it ripped up his couch, scratched his brand new car, did he have allergies??? what was the real story? Oh well, we will never know but here we are taking about a dog.

Gives a whole new thought to any post and from whose side the story is created and shared.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 30
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 3:37:59 PM

The "cat" or me story on another forum was not well received and the girl with the cat was told to move on because the boyfriend who didn't like the cat was a jerk....now it is a dog and the "other"persons side of the story. Now the guy is told to move on because the girl who owns the dog is not so good.

Is it a cat thing or a dog thing or is it the story that is told and how it is perceived?



Actually there are 2 different circumstances in the 2 stories.

The cat story was about a guy who gave a woman an ultimatum about a long-owned pet that was not indicated to be a problem pet, simple because he did not want it in his house.

The dog story here is about a problem dog whose owner seems to not care that her dog is a problem for other people wherever she takes it, and she seems to take it almost everywhere.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 31
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:10:05 PM
Its ironic that the last post I responded to was from the woman whose boyfriend wanted her to move in with him and get rid of her cat.
I wrote that I'd never agree to something like that because my pets are a part of my life and I'd never get rid of them for anyone.
So obviously I'm a huge animal lover and even I think your friend's lady is way out of line. There is no excuse for owning a dog that bites repeatedly and for doing nothing to change the behavior. The biting is the worst thing that you mentioned, but the rest of his behavior is unacceptable as well. He peed on the guy's carpet? In what universe is that OK?
A dog that bites is a recipe for disaster. Does your friend realize that if that dog bites his tenant while on his property, he can be sued? He might not be the dog's owner, but he allowed a dangerous dog on to his property.

I understand that your friend cares about this woman, but he just cannot have an out of control dog in his home, especially a home that he shares with renters.
He needs to talk to his lady friend. Of course Id never suggest that the woman get rid of her dog, but she does need to get it under control. If she can't discipline it herself then she should go to a trainer.
If she refuses to do anything to fix the bad behavior then your friend should no longer allow her to bring her dog into his home.
Its possible that she will react badly to this.She's like a parent with a spoiled child. They never want to believe that their little darling could be doing something wrong or that they are doing something wrong raising them. She might try to make him feel guilty or like he's a bad guy, but as I said, I'm passionate about animals, my cat even sleeps in bed with me at night, so if I'M saying these things, then there's a obviously problem, so he shouldn't feel guilty.

BTW, she should want to get her dog trained , not only to smooth things over with your friend, but for her dog's sake. If the dog continues to bite people and it gets reported to the authorities,he could be listed as a vicious dog and a judge can order him euthanized. If she really cares for her dog, she'll get it under control, sooner rather than later.
 paiseante
Joined: 12/4/2012
Msg: 32
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:26:44 PM
dear god....tell her it's him or the freakin dog! In fact if it was a guy I'd tell him to take a hike WITH his dog! Think of it this way the dog probably has twelve good years tell her to come back when the dog is dead and see if your friend is still available.
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 33
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:26:57 PM
I dated a lawyer for a while that had the same issue with his dog....it became clear I was always going to come in second to the dog!!! When I tried to talk to him about it he told me that he loved the dog and it had caused issues in his marriage. Your friend should have a serious conversation with her about the dog and see how she really feels!!
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 34
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/2/2013 11:05:08 PM
There's nothing I love more than a woman with a passion for dogs. But there's nothing worse than when one of these women have no idea how to control their dog (men can be guilty of this too, obviously).

The only way of "telling her" would be if he stepped in and tried to control this dog properly. If he's unable to do that, then yes he should be bite the bullet and move on. The problem isn't the dog, it's the owner.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 35
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 1:20:28 AM
keep banging her till something better comes along..without a pet.it's not the dogs fault.
 liketo
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 36
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 3:58:14 AM
First, the woman will always love her dog more than a date., Second, the dog needs a lot more exercise.
The dog owner should be willing to get proper training, so she can become the alpha, and have a dog that respects her.
A crate is a wonderful tool, gives the dog privacy, dogs soon learn to like "their" home, and she could take a crate with her to her friends. Most every dog can be trained, Terriers are much harder than say German Shepherds. I personally don't think the woman is capable of realizing the benefits are worth the time and expense of training..
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 37
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 9:53:32 AM
"The cat story was about a guy who gave a woman an ultimatum about a long-owned pet that was not indicated to be a problem pet"

The key word here is is what the poster "indicated" of course she wouldn't express how horribly behaved her cat may have been, if that was indeed the reason why he didn't want the animal around....otherwise, she may have been told by posters she was lucky to still have the man in her life.

and since you mentioned it, is a long owned pet more valuable then a short owned one?
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 38
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 11:03:15 AM
In partial defense of owners with poorly behaved pets (because I have one), it's sometimes not as easy as people think to have a perfectly behaved animal. My dog is gentle, quiet, non-destructive and simply never has an accident indoors or even in the front yard if he can possibly avoid it. But, he is also very wary and cautious due to genetics and is quite fearful of new people, places, objects and situations. Its taken me two years to get him to the point where I can walk him without having him try to scare away every person we meet - now it's only 1 person in 10. He barks ferociously at people in the house if they so much as breathe too deeply, refuses to make friends with anyone and also refuses to go into any building other than my house. People who don't know him, or how hard I've worked with him could end up with the idea that he's vicious and undisciplined, and that I've done nothing about it - both of which would be entirely untrue. Not saying the woman in the OP has even tried to manage her dog (doesn't sound like it to me, really), I just wanted to say something in defense of people like me, with "special needs" animals. :)
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 39
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 11:21:47 AM
and since you mentioned it, is a long owned pet more valuable then a short owned one?


The pet is not more valuable, but the attachment is likely to be stronger.

We can only offer opinions here based on the information provided here. Attempting to assume things and read into things that may or may not be there is risky business at best.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 40
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 12:10:08 PM

This is why there are animal behavior therapists. Just saying.

Yup, they have gotten quite a bit of my money too - at this point, they can't really tell me anything new (I keep checking) and I'm the only one who can actually work with him since he shuts down when a trainer or behaviorist works with him and he realizes they aren't going to go away just cause he's barked at them. He's not a biter, thank goodness, though if he were actually cornered or hurt, he would be.
 My_name_is_paul
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 41
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:53:22 PM
Don't blame the dog... its only doing what the owner allows it to do.

I've take my dog on a date where we agreed it would be a 'walking date' and it was fine. I left him in the car when we went inside after the walk and it was nice to have him there to break up any awkwardness. Plus a well behaved pet shows a well behaved owner.

Its funny how you can substitute 'kid' for 'dog' in situations like this.
 THEMEPACK
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 42
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/4/2013 1:42:44 PM
Grow some balls OP....boo! how high did you jump.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 43
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/4/2013 1:53:03 PM
Just because someone cares for someone doesn't mean that they should bend over backwards to please them.

If ur friend doesn't like something he should speak up. If he condones the behavior now it'll only get worst later!

Ur friend should tell this lady to leave the dog home or enroll the dog in some obedient class. Obviously yelling at the dog and leaving him outdoors for an hour isn't working.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 44
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/4/2013 2:22:26 PM

keep banging her till something better comes along..without a pet.


My sentiments exactly.

This is how MOST people's "fur babies" act. MOST people DON'T train their pets. The animal is ALWAYS going to come first to them.

If I were a man, and some woman thought so little of me that an obnoxious, filthy smelling hair ball meant more to her than I did -- I'd quckly learn to feel nothing for her.

I'd just go to her place, lock the dog/cat in the closet, use her for sex and bail. Forget sleep overs. She has the hair ball to sleep with.

And, truth be told, that is EXACTLY what JUST MAY BE happening to a LOT of female "animal lovers" on the forums. Whether they want to admit it, are smart enough to realize it -- or not.
 Lion_of_York
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 45
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/4/2013 3:09:31 PM
Your friend should not walk away from this woman.....he should RUN. Does not matter if the pet is a dog, or a monkey, or a bird, or a potbellied pig. Unless your friend is just as crazy about the pet as she seems to be.....and it does not sound like it, he needs to find someone more compatible. Let someone else sort out her issues with the dog. Nobody is that good looking.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 46
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/4/2013 3:40:07 PM
but I'm betting that neither you or the other 'special needs' dog owner cart your dog around with you everywhere you go, including on dates?

Not mine, that's for sure - he'd be traumatized! And on dates out somewhere, I wouldn't take him even if I could. But once the dating gets to the point of sleepovers, leaving the pets at home also means a lot shorter "sleepover", because the pet needs to be taken care of. I once dated someone with a dog and I preferred them to bring their dog over because they could then spend the night. Different strokes, hey? :)

because my dog is an outside dog 99% of the year,

I wouldn't date someone who kept their dog outside all the time, if for no other reason than I'd be 'educating' them on why dogs should be indoors with their family. :)
 BlacKONWhite00
Joined: 12/2/2012
Msg: 47
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/5/2013 12:35:47 PM
Your friends girlfriend will have to get a Kennel and a muzzle if she cant go anywhere without the dog...those kinds of dogs are hyper as H*ll.
She could also take the dog to obedience school
Theres lots of ways around this problem..
 changingtides
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 48
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:45:50 AM
Move on and be happy to rid of the dog AND the woman for allowing obnoxious behavior. She has no control over the dog and the dog has control over her! There most likely are other areas in her life where she is not in control over and doesn't do much about.
Anyone who will allow this behavior and bring the dog to others homes has a screw loose.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 49
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dogs on dates
Posted: 1/6/2013 5:01:00 PM
It's not really about the dog. The situation shows that this woman has no respect for your friend. She didn't ask if it was ok to bring the dog. She keeps bringing the dog even though it has bit the guy and has messed up his home. again, she has no respect for your friend. On top of that the way she is with the dog shows she has trouble setting boundaries. Your friend needs to dump the woman. I have a dog who means the world to me and I would never ever do such a thing. Even asking her to not bring the dog won't work in the long run because if your friend wants this relationship to progress at some point there has to ba a serious discussion about the dog. BTW-there is no "one". There are any number of people out there your friend could click with and enjoy a life with. He needs to keep fishing and not settle.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 50
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/6/2013 7:16:51 PM
Did you hear the story about the lady, dog & two eggs???/
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