Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Warren_Evans
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
'you're lovely, but too nice for me?

You had a lucky escape in my opinion.
What those guys where more and likely meaning to say was "Thanks for a great time, pity i didn't get my leg over.".
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 39
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/5/2013 1:43:27 AM
Too nice = not hot/sexy enough to carry on pursuing...


Exactly!


my opinion is she gave the impression that she's not 'easy' therefore they scampered off to find someone that is!


Girls say this to themselves to make themselves feel better when they see another woman with the dishy guy they fancy, ladies; It's because she's more confident/sexy than you are.

Pretending to be flirty when you're not naturally is only going to give someone completely the wrong idea about you only if you don't want to be flirty. You could say to a woman "Don't wear make up on your date because it will give your date the wrong idea about how attractive you are"
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 45
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:49:41 PM
I think its nice when someone comes along asking for a bit of advice. And even nicer when people give them some practical advice based on their own experience.....

But not nearly as nice as when people stamp all over each others heads over a topic as harmless as this.

'Brutal' I love that word. I'm going to use it lots more from now on

'Too nice' No spark, thats about as far as my reasoned thinking takes me.
 fleursky
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 46
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:40:31 AM
'too nice' is a cop out line meaning I'm just not interested :)
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 47
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:44:36 AM

Can't really add any more than anyone else has said really - I guess it is just a way of saying you aren't for them (which probably means vice versa too). I would tend to say more that you seem a nice guy but you just aren't for me or there is no chemistry between us. You can tell this on a first date and it doesn't mean someone isn't nice - I think its the word nice - it's such a wishy washy word, isn't it?

I know what I mean even if no one else does :-)


Sat here chilling with a few drinks and tried saying wishy washy word quickly and made myself giggle :-)
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 49
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:39:33 AM
Great
all teh advice given made jtara delete her account.


Ooops!

I think we should all have a long, hard look at ourselves.

Ok, thats me done looking at myself.......Nobody comes out of this with any credit, apart from perhaps jstara herself

She was so nice as well.
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 52
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:35:35 AM
Maybe she took our advice, seduced him like a seductive vixen and they're on the job now?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 53
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:46:53 PM

jstara are you going for the bad boys? That might be the problem?


It seems to me that there are a lot of women who give great advice on what is right and wrong in the behavior of men in relationships and how to spot a wrong un,yet they themselves would be bored shitless with a decent guy!
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 54
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:11:56 PM

In my opinion this is probably excellent advice for someone who wants sex on a first date. I doubt very much that your average bloke looking to meet a long term partner is measuring heels or looking for someone who flirts constantly. I am pretty confident in fact that most men over 30 would laugh at this list of suggested behaviour in a prospective girlfriend. Certainly in my experience (and every bloke I've met from here in the last year or two has wanted to see me again) men are looking to meet the real you and I've never felt any need to act like something I'm not. Yes we all like to look our best on a first date but why be something you're not? Just be the best of you is my advice.


What happens if the real you is boring or lacking social skills? Remember as a woman reaches her 40's most of the best men are taken and she has competition from younger rivals after the same dishy eligible guys. What's wrong with improving yourself in this respect by practicing some seductive skills?

Out of curiosity, why didn't you meet any of the guys again whom you've dated?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 55
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:21:47 PM
What happens if the real you is boring or lacking social skills? Remember as a woman reaches her 40's most of the best men are taken and she has competition from younger rivals after the same dishy eligible guys. What's wrong with improving yourself in this respect by practicing some seductive skills?

Out of curiosity, why didn't you meet any of the guys again whom you've dated?

What utter bollix!
By reaching her 40's a women knows herself better than ever and is comfortable with herself and who she is generally speaking.
Why the hell should she start ( Improving? ) herself by being someone she is not?
Testing her own boundaries is very different.
As for " All the best men are taken " bollix goes. It is a level playing field for both sexes
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 56
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:34:04 PM

By reaching her 40's a women knows herself better than ever and is comfortable with herself and who she is generally speaking.


If she's been married the last 25 then her dating skills will be a bit rusty.


Why the hell should she start ( Improving? ) herself by being someone she is not?


The same reason people improve themselves through out their lives by learning new things/ training, going back to university etc



As for " All the best men are taken " bollix goes. It is a level playing field for both sexes


haha we start dying off at 40, the playing field gets seriously skewed. Are you implying that the "best men" are the last to be taken? That's nonsense.
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 58
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/6/2013 7:55:32 PM

Remember as a woman reaches her 40's most of the best men are taken and she has competition from younger rivals after the same dishy eligible guys.


Interesting. So us less dishy eligible guys just need a bit of patience for 40 something Women's standards to drop low enough



Women in their 40s are competing with younger, smarter, more competitive women who are not in the least bit afraid to use every tool in their arsenal to catch their man... And they will...


A Woman in her 40's for me please, normal sized, not stick thin. And if she could come in a Wonder Woman costume that'd be great!
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 59
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/7/2013 2:36:39 AM
If she's been married the last 25 then her dating skills will be a bit rusty.

And so has her ex and everyone elses ex the same time as them. Its all equal!


The same reason people improve themselves through out their lives by learning new things/ training, going back to university etc

Learning new things,training and going to Uni is just how we evolve . Nothing at all to do with pretending to be who we are not. Being who you are is a key part of becoming comfortable with yourself,self awareness and freedom.
How many people have spent years in relationships not being able to be fully who they are or wanting to be who they truly are?
Being someone your not is just playing games.



haha we start dying off at 40, the playing field gets seriously skewed. Are you implying that the "best men" are the last to be taken? That's nonsense.

Who starts dying off at 40? In what way does the playing field get seriously skewed?
How can anyone take from " level playing field" that I imply that I think the prospects for one sex is better than the other at any age?
 matt e
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 61
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/7/2013 2:18:55 PM
I think the "nice" part of turning someone down is sometimes the bit to sweetent the pill. When someone lets another down they usually say something positive first. Usually "you're a lovely girl/guy but...."

Its pointless the dumped one getting mad as they dont think its the truth, as the dumper was only trying to break it gentlly.

As for being "too nice" we will never know what they meant. And thats probably a good thing. The truth may have been a lot harsher and done some damage. I believe sometimes not getting to the truth of why you were rejected is a blessing. As then you may try and learn from the rejection and change the way you are, when you really didnt need to as the next person may like you as you are.
However if you keep getting the same knock back maybe then its time for a little tweaking of your dating technique.
 DanceFiendStrapS
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 62
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/8/2013 4:00:18 AM
From learning a bit about PUA, the nice guy will majority of the time lose. I'm not saying you have to be an ass. But a sense of adventure, the ability to speak what's on your mind and generally showing them a great time, being the Alpha male. Being the nice guy usually means they are going to get friendzoned! I think I can speak for the guys on here to go ahead and say... IT SUCKS!
I agree with Lusipher in terms of if a Lady is too nice for me, I don't think the relationship will be all that integral and authentic.
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 65
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/8/2013 9:53:32 AM
Out of curiosity, why didn't you meet any of the guys again whom you've dated?
No idea how you concluded that I didn't. I had at least a second date with all but one and two 3/4 month relationships.


You didn't mention how many YOU wanted to see again just that they all wanted to see you again.


every bloke I've met from here in the last year or two has wanted to see me again


Mea navis aƫricumbens anguillis abundat.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 66
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/8/2013 5:34:17 PM
I do like other people's comments and other people comment on my comments all the time...
I'm sorry if you felt I'm being unnecessarily personal, did not mean to offend you...
Mea culpa maxima...

How utterly dismissive, egotistical and unsocial was that?
Who has the issues here?
vvv Not at all
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 68
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/12/2013 9:44:04 AM
"being too nice in your case would boil down to how long they would have to invest in you before you open your legs."

Sadly, I think the above comment is probably correct :-(
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 69
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:56:58 AM
If that was true-and I think it's a very unhealthy psychology to think it is- then nobody would ever fall in love or get married. If I was to rephrase the statement with the genders reversed as " being too nice in your case would boil down to how long they would have to invest in you before you open your wallet" would that still ring true to you?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 72
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/13/2013 12:42:14 PM

I do like other people's comments and other people comment on my comments all the time...
I'm sorry if you felt I'm being unnecessarily personal, did not mean to offend you...
Mea culpa maxima...
Pax out...


Strange I read Charities post and thought it humble and apologetic


You are totally right.
I am very sorry Charity. I did not read what you said correctly and I was out of order. In future I will try to be more careful about typing before reading what you say properly. x
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 75
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:11:54 PM
^^^^ But soft and fluffy all of the time does not make a thriving forum. Diversity does. That includes the pedants,egotist,know alls, weirdos,deluded,funny,annoying and the copy and paste brigade.
People post an opinion and should expect to be held to account for what they say. It seems to me that some would prefer to live in a world where its fine to question others whenever they like. But how very dare anyone question them.
It does not work very often in the real world so why should that attitude work for them in a forum?
Soft and fluffy all of the time is too nice.
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 78
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 5/13/2013 1:34:26 PM
"Too nice" means you didn't create any sexual attraction. A girl who tells you this could quite easily be swept off her feet and into bed with the next guy who comes along who can make her feel desire and desired at the same time. Add some excitement, adventure and the chemistry will follow.
 matt e
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 80
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 5/14/2013 8:49:41 AM
While "too nice" will often be a polite way of letting someone down. Its also a very well known (to psycologists etc) factor that stops a LOT of people usually women from being interested in somone.
Basically one of the worst things a guy can do on a date (apparently im not an expert or I wouldnt be on here) is to be too nice. It means you are forgetable/bland.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 84
view profile
History
I don't understand the 'too nice' line....
Posted: 5/17/2013 4:17:51 PM
It is rolled out mostly by those who have no real commitment to you by those full of self doubt and issues going on.
In the head stuff.
Some players can win here.
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >