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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Depression Or Just Life?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It sounds to me as though you are purposely causing yourself to have an impossible life, as a way to let yourself out of actually facing your challenges and possibly failing to defeat them. By actively choosing to be a walking disaster, you think you can get a sort of Cosmic Pass, on the grounds that you are a useless git. Been there, done that (without the criminal acts).

Sorry, but existence doesn't work that way. You will have to ACTUALLY try to do well, moment to moment, and ACTUALLY try to do better every day, in order to honestly earn the title of "Loser."
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/5/2013 5:52:22 PM

I'm tired of being alone, tired of feeling dead inside. I guess this is life for me. I don't feel sorry for myself I honestly like who I am, what I learned, I'm a **** up, but the good news Is I'm willing to admit it. So if you think your life is bad, read this and feel better. Because your not alone!


Take my words as they are OP. Some of us already KNOW that we "are not alone". Despite what you believe, you are NOT the first, nor will you be the LAST to be going thru what you are, or feel what you are feeling. I know things probably look unbelievabley "bad" but, let me point out ONE thing today for you. YOU woke up this morning. Yes you did. You are still breathing. Yes you are. You have a computer to play on for phuck's sake. You have a roof over you head.

You state you get to see your son "only" 5 days a month?????? 5 days more than some, may I remind you. Others will NEVER EVER get to see their child again. EVER.(for whatever reason). I know it's tough "right now". I undestand this(I've been there,maybe not right were you are,but, close). But, you are gonna have to figure out how to "grasp" the moments that make this life worth living. And one is your son. Look in the mirror and figure out real quick that your son DOES and WILL need you in his future. Things will change(yes they will) which will include your time with your son. YOU decide how YOU are gonna make that time INCREASE, not DECREASE. I can't tell you how to do it, but, if your son is worth what you say he is, you will find the will(and way) to climb outta this one. You will be a better man and father for that one important person to look up to. YOUR SON!!!!!!!

Good luck bud.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/7/2013 2:53:56 PM
Dude, you're still using the script of a victim.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 16
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/8/2013 10:16:20 AM
Yeah, you're depressed. You have a reason, but not a justification.

The sin isn't falling down. The sin is not getting back up.

Don't stagger like an old man about it... learn from what you somewhat purposely threw away. What did you accomplish by doing that? If you tell yourself you suck, you suck. If you already suck, you'll keep sucking if you tell yourself that. Is THAT the only accomplishment you want?

Get back up. This is life for you if you want it that way. There's no quick fix. Think of it as a football game. You're down 63-0. But in life, it's not 4 quarters -- it's about 40-50 more years. You have plenty of time to make things better and not WALLOW in shame. Work out intensely (does not require a gym). Snap into reality and accomplish things... again, you first have to make first downs -- you're not going to suddenly be up 70-63 in the game. Learn some new skills... you have Inet access, and I'm sure a library nearby. Utilize that. Feed off of the concept of a challenge. If you win the game, it's a bigger win than almost anyone can brag about. And enjoy the journey of the comeback -- not the scoreboard when you're down. Get up and snap yourself in reality.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 18
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/8/2013 5:10:58 PM

Depression effects alot of poeple you would be supprised by the numbers


Yes,basically everyone of us will have it affect our lives. It's how "much" it affects us that truely matters. Sometimes we can take notice of it all by ourselves as individuals and deal with. Other times we must get "help" to deal with it. When depression starts becoming a real problem is when we,as individuals decide to deny the depression or deny the need for a little help along the way.

I do believe the OP has decided he "doesn't need" the helping hand with the words he has typed. There is no shame to go talk to a professional but, some will use all kinds of reasoning not to. As in,,,,,


And to the ones who say I need help or counseling, no point, no one is better then me, no one can help me, only I can choose to be happy or sad.


That's all I have on this one.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 21
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/9/2013 8:06:36 PM

I honestly like who I am,


The moment you start dis-liking who you are (and your circumstances)now, is the very moment that you'll get up and get moving in the right direction. As long as you feel comfortable being miserable, then very little will change for you.

Can't get a job? then volunteer in a hospital or homeless shelter somewhere, get a foot inside the door and show pple that you are motivated in some way. Feel depressed, then go into AA or counseling of some sort. The first step to having success is to start acting as though you do.
 Pecan3Tan
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 23
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/9/2013 9:38:54 PM
Hello,

To be perfectly honest it is a little of both. Life choose you made brought you to this point as all of us have to deal with what has happen in our past to move on.

First, as a Mother that has boys the most important thing to them is seeing their Dad even for one day. No it may not be enough but count it as a blessing you see him. Now as fair as child support check with your State to see what guidelines you most meet and tell them your situation. Here believe or not they do have advocates for Fathers not working how do I no because my youngest sons dad barely has to pay anything a week.

Listen, this is something a told my exes a long time ago and now they realize what I said was true. I put my boys before God and ask him to keep them. I told them they had to do the same give all you can and once you do that the rest will come. There is no overnight solution it takes time and hard work to move forward and not give up. Single Mother here.

Now I know it seems like its not worth working for minium wage just to have the take all of your money but they are giving to to that child you love for support. I know individuals that have talents and work odd jobs to just make some money. One person said pick up bottles or cans will why not. I was told of a homeless family that sold waters and made over 80,000 in a year.

In order to see yourself in a better place you have to ask for help. If not from family, friends, or some spiritual leader that a professional. If you feel that know one else needs you then remember your son does because he is flesh of your flesh and he will always want his Dad.
There are programs out there but you have to get some faith to believe that when you start knocking on doors you will not stop until someone helps you.
Sure it easy for those that don't know you to judge you or say what you should do. But to thy self be true. You know you. Set some goals write how you feel down and release it. There will be a lot of knows but one yes will happen. Someone I know was in your situation and he keep at it until he got a job was it much know but you have to start somewhere. Remember you never know when you do where God will lead you and put someone in your life to help you.

As for your ex wish her well and don't continue to dwell on what is over and done with because it is that. Over and done with you can not change the past so start creating your future. I will lift you up.
 htroyof
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 25
Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:46:29 PM
I read your story and I cried for you dear. I can relate to a lot of what you said. It's very personal for me as to why, but I want you to know that as a Christian it is my belief that we are all broken vessels. God is who is perfect and holy wants to have a relationship with you and heal you. Don't listen to the condemnation of others... that is like the devil sentencing you to prison again. You have HOPE in Jesus Christ if you give your life to him. It's as simple as a prayer. Jesus died for our sins (mistakes, human frailties whatever others want to call it). You just ask straight from your heart for forgiveness and to hand your life over to his power and he will show you new and mighty things. Join a church, or call a prayer line for help in learning more..please try 100 Huntley St. 1-800-556-3553 and they can instruct you further and help you find a local church where people will have the compassion of God in their hearts to help you find guidance for your life. Being around like minded people will nurture your spirit. We all have a God shaped void in our hearts and only HE can fill it. I'm ready for the flak I'll get for writing this, but people are not my judge. Don't let them by yours.
God Bless!
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 26
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:03:12 PM
9 months ago i didn't even want to live. That is how bad my life sucked. I don't want to go into specfics because in todays tech age things you say come back to haunt you. Today i am happy, excited about the future, and i turned my life around. One of the best things i ever did was go to therapy. I'm not even sure i like my therpist and i am not sure she even likes me. Talking about your problems is actually very helpful. The very first time i saw my therpist she said " you dug yourself into a huge hole and now you got to dig yourself out". I was like wow that was so helpful. I dug myself out and i am doing better than ever. I know this sounds like bs, but attitude is truly everything. Playing the victim and wallowing in self pity isn't going to help. You need to say i refuse to be a loser and do whatever it freaking takes to start winning. Yes, you are a felon and you are going to have to try alot harder to get a job. I met a few ex felons who found a job. Getting a job has to be your fulltime job. I don't know what your belief system is but talking to my higher power ( g d) really helped. I noticed that as soon as i gave myself to g d and i felt love in my heart for him, things were alot better. I am not trying to be super religious man. You have to have faith and truly believe with all your heart things will get better. Make a solid plan and put it into action. I love my life today, but 9 months ago i hated myself and everyone around me.

Htroy. Your heart is in the right place, but when you talk about religion more is less. You don't want to come off super preachy. You don't know if he is a jew, christian, or Hindu. When we drink, do drugs, feel hate and anger we turn our back on g d. When we turn our back on g d then we are at lifes mercy. G d grants us love, protection, and the ability to learn and grow. My life was a million times better when i had him in my life.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 27
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:11:53 PM
I think you need to show him some compassion, Funny girl. I think we all made mistakes, some more then others. Everyone deserves their own flesh and blood (except abuse cases). His kid is the one bright light in his darkness.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 29
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:43:19 PM
Thank you very much. I read that poem on your profile and it was beautiful. It really touched me.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 31
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:57:44 PM
Great minds........
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 32
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 8:01:31 AM
Okay thanks for explaining. I just felt so bad for him after i read your post. I felt like you were kicking him when he was done. His situation sucks enough without you making it worse lol.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 33
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:08:27 AM
i wish you the best of luck bro. Your situation is tough and it breaks my heart. Let this be a lesson to everyone. COUNT YOUR BLESSING. VALUE YOUR FREEDOM. Imagine being locked in a cell with animals all day and night long.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 34
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 1:16:45 PM
Im really concerned about you. I hope our advice helped.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 36
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 8:05:52 PM
This is your life, sadly. Depression is temporary based on a situation that isn't set in stone. Your situation won't change unless you bust your ass to change it. Your like sucks right now, but it doesn't always have too.

Your right. You need to stop worrying about what other people say, especially when they aren;t being helpful. You need to take all the helpful and positive advice and put it into action. Stop wallowing and start changing your situation.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 37
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:07:21 PM
Cherry. I understand where you are coming from and i tend to agree, but you have to understand that some people don't have the resilence and life skills that you do. I was once where he was. I was drinking too much and i felt sorry for myself. One day i decided i hated my life and something has to change or i might as well be dead. I think he is starting to realize that things need to change, because shit just isn't working for him. He is at least trying, so we should at least give him that. I don't like the fact that he keeps saying i did this and that and nothing works. It sounds like a total cop out.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 38
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/15/2013 10:31:53 PM
That kind of got me hot lol :) I understand where your coming from. I guess i am cursed with a big heart and i buy into peoples sob stories too much. A past girlfriend told me that.

It is about life skills a little. If someone lacks the skills to know how to cope with adversity then they are going to do unhealthy things to cope. me and you are going to get off our asses and attack the problem. He is going to fail and stay stagnent and we are going to move on with our lives. Until he learns that you can't drink your problems his life won't really improve in a meaningful way.

I think he wrote his story on this forum instead of taking a drink or scoring heroin. I know your going to rip me apart on that arguement though lol
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 43
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:44:06 AM
Your right cherry. I put myself in a bad situation through bad decision making, so i feel empathy for him. I guess the people who have bad things happen through no fault of their own deserve more of a break then someone who brings a situation on themselves.
 kangia
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 50
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Depression Or Just Life?
Posted: 2/13/2013 10:24:42 PM
Go and deliver newspapers 6 days a week. Your newspaper says NO COLLECTIONS involved...so I'm pretty confident you can have a record.

You never did say what you were in prison for each time. And as far as I know you had oppertunities in prison to try and qualify for outreach programs.

That is if you were in prison in Indiana.

I don't think you are dependent or a loser....I'm beginning to think your a USER.
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