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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should I keep seeing this guy?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 26
Should I keep seeing this guy?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
lol.. i HAD this relationship once.

The first man i dated after leaving my husband did the exact same thing... He called it taking it slow...

You can only come over when he WANTS company.

He never took me anywhere 'cept his bed.. He did order in pizza occasionally.

Honestly.. your guy is not doing anything wrong "per se".. he is just not having a real relationship with you... and you are allowing it.
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 27
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 7:19:59 AM
TRY SETTING YOU BOUNDARIES IN ADVANCE,,,,,
For me it's:
1st meet public place
1st date public place
2nd date public place
I don't go to a guys place until I am ok with sex, as I want to date, I don't want FWB . I'm not ok with FWB and most important part I am not ok in advance --no hurt feelings, the guy gets the choice of where he takes me anywhere but his house. I don't care how great his video collection is lol. If he likes to cook we can BBQ at the park, I am not expensive. I just won't go there until I'm ready .....
 pattie2014
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 28
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:03:42 AM
If you are having doubts about this relationship already its not going to get any better later on. You are seeing red
flags all over the place and you need to heed your instincts. I wouldn't drag this out any longer because you are
just reacting to the chemistry you both have now. Chemistry usually doesn't last past the first year and before you
get hurt I would exit this situation. If not for you do it for your kids. Just my opionion.
 bluemoonlantern
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 29
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:24:11 AM
I would like to thank everyone for the input. I have ended the relationship. You all have had some valid points and I came to the decision on my own after thinking all night about it. I do deserve better.

Thanks again.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 30
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:55:38 AM
Sorry to say, but it sounds like FWB's. It wont change. So its up to you if you keep seeing him.
If your not happy now, you wont be happy next wk.
Good-Luck
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 31
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 11:12:09 AM
Relationship? What relationship? This sounds more like a FWB more than a relationship.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 32
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:15:33 PM
I wish you the best. I think, you did the right thing, by ending it.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 33
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:54:00 PM

I have stuck around because we do connect on all other levels. We met in a public place down by the river and walked and talked there too. I have talked to him about it and his reason is just that is who he is.


Uh huh. These “other levels” just can’t compare to your desire to go out, even though you’ve let it slide for a few months.

Soooo….you tried your best to discuss this with him and he said, “That’s just who I am.”
And then you….walked away? Ate dinner? Watched TV? Why would you just leave it at that if it’s so important to you?

I dunno….if I was trying to discuss something with my boyfriend, or whatever you consider him, I’d figure out what was going on with him before just shrugging my shoulders in defeat.

I think like so many people starting threads on here, you’ve already decided to give him the boot but for some inexplicable reason require the nod from lots of strangers, first.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 34
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History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:50:24 PM
Excellent decision you made. He is hiding something, not because he enjoys staying home but because of the random stay at home alone plans followed by brief bathroom missing you texts.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 35
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:50:39 PM
Going forward... focus your efforts on dating and try to avoid the ones who want to hang out at home early on. It usually is easier to start things off with good dating habits than to try to break bad habits. Plus, life is always more enjoyable when you have someone along your side who enjoys the same activities that you do. It gets a little boring to always be hanging out at home.
 purfectblonde169
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 36
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History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/31/2013 4:30:01 PM
Hi, That sux.., but if you enjoy being around him ,then stay with him . He needs to see your side too and quit being such a house hermit.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 37
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:47:07 PM
It's not a good relationship, I'm sorry to say. Women need romance in a relationship for it to be fulfilling - and last. That's what it's missing - no dates, no variety, always the same old, same old thing.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 38
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:55:59 PM
NO u shouldn't keep seeing him because whatever u guys have is not a relationship. It's only a physical relationship. Booty call nonetheless.

In the booty call situations, there's never a need to go out and do anything 'romantic like'. Staying indoors is always a good idea and a norm when the relationship is 'booty call'.

Unfortunately u've fallen in the trap of this. Get out now.

Date a real man who wants to go out and do things with u and not want to stay at home all the time!
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 39
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:57:14 PM
it sounds as if all you do is go over to his place to have sex, when he feels like it od course. if thats the kinda relationsip you enjoy then whohoo, but don't expect it to develop into more.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 40
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/31/2013 8:07:55 PM
Oh yes, and he is breaking dates too. That's another problem.

People who both love each other and have integrity don't break dates.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 41
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 9:17:13 AM
You are a separated woman who has introduced your children to a man you see "Off and on"...Red flag number 1
You hang out at HIS place quite often however he does not want to hang out at YOUR place...Red flag number 2.

I would like to go on a date once and a while.
...Red flag number 3.

he says I just want to be alone tonight and I have to cancel sorry.
...Red flag number 4.

So I am starting to have doubts about where the relationship is going
...There appears to be just ONE relationship here and it's a sexual relationship. The guy is quite clearly 'using' you for sex and you are allowing this to happen!
Don't continue this and hope it changes because it won't. Think about your children.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 42
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 9:24:56 AM
You sound like a matter of convenience for him.
Sort of like a fast food drive-through.

Do you feel resentment?
Do you think it may be evolving into a "frenemies" with benefits?

Are you happy?


P.S. It's nice you are "separated." That means he does not have to move forward emotionally with you. I bet if/ when your divorce becomes final, he will break up with you.


P.P.S. Oh, I see now you announced in post 31 that you ended the "relationship." I think that was a good choice.
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 43
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 9:27:47 AM
I bet he was broke and couldn't afford to take you out. Doesn't really matter now.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 44
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History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:18:11 AM
I'm stunned at the bad advice being given on this thread!

But I guess by now the OP has done something about it -- are you there OP?
 Cyclingforfun
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 45
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:35:55 AM
She is still married....Maybe he does not want to be seen in public with another man's wife.
I know I would not.
 Hopestillfloats13
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 46
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:51:25 AM
Have you ever heard of the book "He Is Just Not Into You"? Definitely a must read...This guy is not into you..Run..the other way..you can do better...
 Cyclingforfun
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 47
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:05:03 PM
After she first gets divorced from her husband.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 48
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:09:39 PM
So...Be proactive and make plans. Take responsibilty for your entertainment as well. Make reservations, buy tickets ...whatever. Why does it always have to be on the man? The lady can take a man out cant she? Or am I doing this totally wrong...
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 49
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History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 4:15:46 AM
There are different kinds of booty calls.

There’s the one that you aren't seeing anybody else, but the booty you are having booty with, It’s a full time booty thing, but neither do you want a full time relationship with that person either.

There’s the booty that you want to have on a part time basis, but you don’t want a commitment. In other words, you got to make plans with the person who you want to have the booty with, and then once the dating act is over with…. You get the booty and call it a night, until the next time. That means, you don’t hear from the person until the person wants your booty again.

Then there’s the booty that you never take out in public that you occasionally see, out of desperation. Usually you get those phone calls after 11:00 o’clock at night. This way, your booty is treated like a drive through window. Sometimes, if the person is real desperate they will call you sooner.

Usually thou booty calls never go into a regular full-time relationship. At least, I never heard of a story that one did. Usually someone gets dumped in the end.

I think that covers it. If I missed one, please feel free to add to the list.

This reminds of a saying I saw once, “you can have me booty, but leave my chest alone”.

Kinda shiver me timbers!
Jan
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 50
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:32:29 AM
^^^Don't forget the "Booty who doesn't want to meet your family or doesn't give a sh*t about your day"
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