Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should I keep seeing this guy?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 43
Should I keep seeing this guy?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I bet he was broke and couldn't afford to take you out. Doesn't really matter now.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:18:11 AM
I'm stunned at the bad advice being given on this thread!

But I guess by now the OP has done something about it -- are you there OP?
 Cyclingforfun
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 45
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:35:55 AM
She is still married....Maybe he does not want to be seen in public with another man's wife.
I know I would not.
 Hopestillfloats13
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 46
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:51:25 AM
Have you ever heard of the book "He Is Just Not Into You"? Definitely a must read...This guy is not into you..Run..the other way..you can do better...
 Cyclingforfun
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 47
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:05:03 PM
After she first gets divorced from her husband.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 48
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:09:39 PM
So...Be proactive and make plans. Take responsibilty for your entertainment as well. Make reservations, buy tickets ...whatever. Why does it always have to be on the man? The lady can take a man out cant she? Or am I doing this totally wrong...
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 4:15:46 AM
There are different kinds of booty calls.

There’s the one that you aren't seeing anybody else, but the booty you are having booty with, It’s a full time booty thing, but neither do you want a full time relationship with that person either.

There’s the booty that you want to have on a part time basis, but you don’t want a commitment. In other words, you got to make plans with the person who you want to have the booty with, and then once the dating act is over with…. You get the booty and call it a night, until the next time. That means, you don’t hear from the person until the person wants your booty again.

Then there’s the booty that you never take out in public that you occasionally see, out of desperation. Usually you get those phone calls after 11:00 o’clock at night. This way, your booty is treated like a drive through window. Sometimes, if the person is real desperate they will call you sooner.

Usually thou booty calls never go into a regular full-time relationship. At least, I never heard of a story that one did. Usually someone gets dumped in the end.

I think that covers it. If I missed one, please feel free to add to the list.

This reminds of a saying I saw once, “you can have me booty, but leave my chest alone”.

Kinda shiver me timbers!
Jan
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 50
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:32:29 AM
^^^Don't forget the "Booty who doesn't want to meet your family or doesn't give a sh*t about your day"
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 51
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:42:12 AM
If your not old enough to figure out he likes the benefits of a relationship, without having to be in a relationship, then you shouldn't be dating. Ohh & FYI.... his messages saying how he misses and can't wait to see you, is code for he's horny.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 52
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 8:51:44 AM
Cancelling dates to be alone? Sorry honey, you're the tweener girl. You get to fill in the blanks between his other dates. You're enabling him by accepting the behavior. You need to draw a line in the sand. No, not a line, draw a friggin canyon in the Earth and tell him to cross it...

He's using you as a back up booty call. Laziest dating behavior for sure. This isn't even dating. I wish I could find a woman that would come over, on demand, because my ass was glued to the recliner while I watched Star Trek. Oh, and bring white wine and red hot flaming cheetos on the way over!
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 53
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 5:14:59 PM
Seems like a fantastic guy and sounds like you two click. But you can't let him control everything. You need to coax him out of his shell. There's nothing wrong with the guy. But it might take time and a bit more patience on your side. For some, it can take a lifetime to find what you both have. Going out is overrated. Usually restaurants don't measure up if you already have better cooking skills. Make it an adventure not the mundane and expected nonsense many people fall back on during dating. I hate that crap. Sounds like he's above it as well. Take your time, don't push him into something boring (for him). Challenge yourself to get outside your comfort zone and in that way, you'll also push him outside his comfort zone, but it had better be phenomenal. Not boring. Not predictable. Make getting to know each other super special. Good luck and happy fishin'...!
 DeeLorenz
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 54
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/2/2013 5:29:16 PM
I would say leave him. He seems sketchy. It seems he is just playing games with you.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 55
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/3/2013 5:35:57 PM
I would spend more time going out with the girls.. ..
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 56
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/3/2013 6:36:44 PM
I think he is just a cheapskate who gets the sex he wants and makes no effort. . The problem is you set the tone by agreeing to hang out at his home all the time, from the start.Your kids may be a problem for him long term and he doesnt want to co habit. It is just a convenience and not a romance. Like being married with none of the benefits.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 57
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:24:28 PM
This is a huge compatability issue.

You can be compatible on many levels and have incredible chemistry; but fundamentally; if your interests are different and his comfort zone always wins? You are along for his ride. You will not have any voice at all.

If you are fine with this? Stay with him.

If you want to have what you want sometimes too and want multi dimensional INCLUDING multi dimensional locations and you having at least some voice in when you are or aren't together, don't.

You obviously are not going to change him. So it is up to you if what you have will be enough for you without you starting to resent him. If it will not? Get out while you both get along and are on good terms, and find someone where what both you want matters.

Good luck
 mark777771
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:34:28 PM
Sounds like he is b.llsh.ting you. Yeah you want more to him its a booty call. If he cared about you he would take you out. However you keep going back so he knows he can get away with it. He has total control.
 darkmascara
Joined: 1/26/2013
Msg: 59
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:12:56 PM
your objective is to avoid being on a string. the first step, i think is to get over the fear of losing him by confronting him. just stop being afraid, already. the most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot. the same philosophy can be applied to dating: if putting your requirements on the table means you risk him walking away. it's a risk you have to take, because that fear can trip you up everytime. all too many of you let the guy get away with disrespecting you, putting in minimal effort and holding on to the commitment to you because you're afraid he's going to walk away and you'll be alone again. men recognize this and play on it.
 1destinysprince
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/7/2013 9:02:36 PM
Don't find yourself falling for someone who makes it easy to put you on the back burner. If he truly wants to be with you then it would be hard to kiss you goodbye and still when he does, that's when he truly misses you when you are gone. If thia were the case, you wouldn't be in the situation your in. When you find he does this again, don't make it as easy next time around when he wanting to spend time with you. Make him come to what you need most. Commitment..
 vasculartech
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 61
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/7/2013 9:10:10 PM
See him and other guys who want to take you out. He is just using you as a convenience store. Go have fun and maybe meet some guy who fits you better.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 62
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/7/2013 11:25:55 PM
bliemoonlantern- Issues like this early on aren't going to get better down the road.
Find someone more compatible with you.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:53:04 PM
Sounds like someone I was seeing. I think the one I was seeing was depressed as he had been married for 24 years and was divorced for about a year when I met him. He didn't talk to his kids. Also he had been seeing a psychiatrist and was on some meds. He also never took me anywhere but was an excellent cook and did make me some wonderful meals. He would cancel on me too. He was very unreliable and wishy washy, seemed like he didn't know what he wanted and was very unstable. It only lasted about 3 months I broke up with him because I just wasn't happy and didn't have fun with him. It sounds like your bf might also be depressed.
 MeggieMugster
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 64
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/8/2013 5:05:00 PM
Sounds like he just wants you around for sex. how hard is that to see.
Like you only hang out at his house, and he wont take you out? why would anyone wanna waste their time with someone like that.

When I was with my ex, I wouldnt even go to his house until I knew that we were gonna be offical. he kept inviting me over, and i would say no im not ready to stay at your place yet. dont go to a guys place right away, cuz then u end up in their bedroom, and then they only care for one thing.
 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 65
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/9/2013 8:04:51 AM

I really like him and I am falling for him.


Ask yourself realistically why you're falling for him and you may find out if that is sufficient enough to continue seeing him.
Trust your instincts if you have doubts. I personally wouldn't keep seeing him because he doesn't seem on the same page you're on right now.
 galnxtdoor64
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/9/2013 6:18:08 PM
it sounds to me that it is all about him - his wants his needs his comfort
my question is would you like and appreciate it if he made some efforts towards you?
He also sounds very cheap too- but only you can decide what will satisfy all your needs
emotional, intellectual-physical so on.....
 unki121
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 67
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 2/9/2013 9:46:37 PM
I was like that in one of my relationships before.I have anxiety around groups of people,so I never wanted to go out on dates.I was also very hesitent about a women with children.From what I have read it sounds like he wants to be with you but doesn't know how to deal with you having children.I am 30 now and have learned from my mistakes,if he is young between 19 and 25 then maybe he doesn't know how to act around kids
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should I keep seeing this guy?