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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 rachellowe
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 70
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
The sad thing there is honesty in what you just said. I had a 10 yr relationship with a guy I wanted to marry prior to this one, and the reason I got with my husband was because I thought he was everything my ex was not. He loved kids, wanted to get married, settle down (my ex prior was very non comital and wouldn't give me what I needed out of our relationship) SO, I WAS trying to change my pattern and trying to look for a good guy and different man. The problem was he was a pathological liar. Failed to mention he was in arrears on child support with his other kid, or that he had lousy credit, and that he had a perverted closet lifestyle, which he hid from me and I only knew about it when I found the evidence in his phone and on the computer. So I do want a good guy, problem is people lie. So outside of pulling a background and credit check on every single person I date from here on out, what would you suggest I do to actually find a real normal nice guy????? That is what I thought I had with my husband. And I got deceived for a loooong time.
 daybee1963
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 71
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:53:08 AM
Thanks for posting about this blog site. I found it very informative as I too am reeling from the effect of liars, emotionally unavailable men and narcissism. Why do attract these men and why is it so hard to let go??
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 72
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:21:06 AM
@Rachellowe..So you did not know he had bad creditv and back child support until after you got married?..Is that what you are saying....I can not speak for you,But personally i can tell alot about a person by how responsible they are...I can eliminate half the population because they either on drugs or on the welfare train..Once i hear a person that is in that situation i am running very fast..Or a woman that has 3 kids by 3 dads that are no more than 15 months apart...Most men i work with have their child support deducted out of paycheck...So you did not have a clue he did not pay his child support?..If that is the case then you never knew what was coming in or going out as far as bills..If you did then you would have know or not he paid his child support..Sorry to tell you the guy that you wre with was not remotely close to a good guy from the beginning...The red flags were there...And i guranteed you this guy was arrogant/BIG MOUTH(Done everything,been every where,got everything,done seen everybody)..And of course most women beleive this BIG MOUTH,But when the real good guy that can back up what he siad women could careless about this type of guy...What i have found out women love to babysit..They want drama in their lives
 rachellowe
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 73
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/23/2013 6:05:46 AM
He was paying it with me, it was the arrears prior to me that I was unaware of. And I took care of all the household bills, he kept a separate bank account, found out about his bad credit when I tried to add him to that account and my bank wouldn't do it until he cleared some things up! Yes, there were red flags, but I moved forward because we had a child and I wanted her to know that even if we ended up apart, we were once married and a family. That was important to me that she know that. And no, I don't like drama. I yearn for a simple easy life and truthful relationship in the future.
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 74
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/23/2013 8:17:30 PM
Yep. I was on a different dating site and had become jaded about the dating opportunities on there so I spent my time posting to my blog, writing poetry/songs, etc. During this phase I met someone across the country. She seemed perfect for me. She was funny, talented, adventurous, etc, etc, etc.

After about three months of texting online I wanted to fly out there to see her. She gave some pretty credible-sounding excuses that involved her brother who was dying. At about the seven-month mark I firmly suggested that I was coming out, arranged the tickets and hotel. On the same day as my flight she cancelled, suggesting another plot complication. I stopped talking to her for about a week and she kept up a stream of apologies.

Perhaps a week after that her son emailed me, suggesting that she was a compulsive liar, that she routinely did this and that she was doing this with other guys, too. She was not only married but she had six children, the life she described was nothing like the life she lived. She had created more then ten fake profiles on the dating site of men and women who had conversations with her primary profile to make her seem more legitimate and popular.

-----------

I've witnessed this before on online forums, btw. People will create multiple accounts to make themselves seem more popular and to create online approval for others to emulate. It's rather sad.
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 75
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/23/2013 8:32:55 PM

So outside of pulling a background and credit check on every single person I date from here on out, what would you suggest I do to actually find a real normal nice guy?????

I think most people are unrealistic about what they expect from a potential mate without taking a good long look in the mirror.

* most people seem to be unwilling to look for anyone their own (true) age or older. i call it the "you are who you sleep with" syndrome--to sleep with someone younger makes you feel younger, in other words.

* most people live in the past and think of their own attractiveness and body shape to be that of when they were 18 or 20-something. if they formerly dated models then they are unwilling to realistically see that they're going to eventually have to date someone who's not quite so attractive.

* most people are unwilling to accept the same baggage that they themselves bring into the equation.

If you yourself own a business and one or two houses (the kind of financial stability you're probably looking for in a man) then why would you honestly need someone to complete you? Assuming that you yourself aren't this financially stable then why expect that from the man at this point?

So if you're asking how to find a real/normal/nice guy I'd say "set your sights on unattractive or perhaps older or perhaps chunkier men". I'm not suggesting that you are unattractive at all. But if you think about it, the perfect men got married early already and made great husbands and fathers. The ones who are left are less-than-perfect by definition. One could also say the same for the women out there on dating sites.

So embrace your inner loser. Lower your standards one notch on the Quality dial and try again. (Don't hate me.) ha
 desertmirage
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 76
view profile
History
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/24/2013 6:21:25 PM
Families tend to do this, they would be delighted if someone took him off their hands. I think they may think you will help him get his act together. In the end blood tends to be thicker than water. both of my ex's families stood by their man. The silver lining in situations like this is the lesson you learn. If you can learn from this you gained a valuable thing.
 altosong
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:29:44 PM
I got ones too..You got out sooner than I did..You are lucky...
 Tommyvalentine
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 78
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/1/2013 3:35:27 PM
I just kicked one out of my life TODAY!!! Everything she told me was a lie, I begged her to see someone to get help, each time she told me she would but made up an excuse why she can't. I spoke to her husband (yup, still married a 4 years after they supposedly separated) I discovered that lie 5 months into our relationship.. I spoke to him on the phone after I finally had enough and discovered she cheated on me a month ago.. He warned me from the get go about her lies and cheating but she sold me a dream, we vented to one another for a half hour and shared stories. This woman fooled me so well that I even paid all the bills, rent, her cell phone bill and while taking care of her TWO children who after 4 or 5 months began calling me DAD! I am completely devastated as well, I even provided her with evidence of her cheating and she denies it over and over again. I also found out that she is a convicted FELON!! I gave this woman everything and she gave me a NIGHTMARE. I can used to be the most outgoing guy, life of the party, easy to talk to. Now when i enter the room, I wonder who's going to do me wrong. :( It's Friday night and I'm all alone, I wanna cry but her cheating just ways just won't allow me to.
 PUNISHERKING
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 79
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/2/2013 9:59:43 PM
yep was with onr for 14 years. best thing that happen is when we split up. its never ending drama and chaos. thats the world lier and drug addict live in
 PUNISHERKING
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 80
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/2/2013 10:01:28 PM
not all guys are dbags... most but not all lol
 chchchchange
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 81
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:20:37 AM
I have also experienced this several times with men I've met on this site, unfortunately it made me very sceptical and cautious. But you can do background checks and all the right stuff and still not know....all I can say is be careful-to men and women- and DON'T follow your heart, let your mind rule your decisions, especially in the beginning ;)
 Lookingformyjane
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 82
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/4/2013 12:32:37 AM
There are allot more crazzy peoPle out there than we relies ..
I have run into more then my share .. Hope to learn to avoid them in the near future..
 ActualizedExplorer
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:44:05 AM
The more issues you have that are not dealt with, either by being in denial or simply buried, the more likely someone can get away with lying to you.

If you always keep your eyes on your own feet, you won't know it if something was flying at your head.

That's basically how Advertising works, haha.

That said, sometimes it can be hard to get out of the situation when you're in it.
 lilui
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 84
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:04:25 PM
I met a man who told me the biggest pack of lies I have heard in my entire life. He told me a long story about an ex wife who had betrayed him and was coming back to fetch her things only, he said he had found a place for her to stay for a while and had to fetch her in the airport. He told me he was afraid he had a STD because of her and had a blood test next day. We got on well and we had what I thought a nice relationship.
One day he disappeared and when he resurfaced he told me in an email that absolutely everything he told me was a lie, no wife, no betrayal,no std testing, nothing, he had many women and I was GULLIBLE!!!!!

Sociopath.
 ZombiezRock
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 85
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:56:38 AM
My relationship of 3 years ended because of lies. This guy couldnt stop lying to save his life, he lied to me of course about anything and everything but mainly about other women, doing what he wanted . We were only able to see each other on weekends for a long time so it was very hard to pick up on his lies I finally did and caught him several times and was stupid, and let me repeat stupiddddd enough to stay with him a few time despite the lies as he always had an emotional reason for lying.

However manipulation often accompanies lying, and so in the end I had to end it I could not handle his lies he says he didnt cheat on me but when some one lies to you constantly you figure it happened probably more than once. I also heard him lie to his parents and friends so I know his lies were not just directed towards me . When ever he wanted what he wanted he lied plain and simple. I have come to learn our relationship was one big lie, and who ever else he is with he will lie to them too its just who he is.

I myself have a hard time going back and thinking of how I was played, but the red flags were there and I just hoped like hell I was wrong because I really loved him. If i choose to have another relationship red flags will be the red flags they are supposed to be.
 RocknRollit01
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:46:47 PM
Brutal women plotted against me for 7 months with her new boyfriend..
I cant even count all the lies and deciet.
 missajm
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 87
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/9/2013 7:24:16 PM
I have lots of experience with a patholgoical liar - as I met a guy on zoosk.com (daddio19 on pof) and he told me how his exwife had an affair for 3 months and that is why he is divorced and he told me how he had only 4 kids when he really has 6 kids 3 kids that live in Colorado and 3 that live with him and then he told me how he would never ever do anything to hurt or harm me in any way and he told me how he is a good guy and that he is honest trustworthy and how he is a one man to one woman type of guy and he told me that I needed to give him a chance and that I needed to believe him and while he was seeing me I found out he was seeing several other woman and that when I went to work from 5pm till 1:30am is when he went out and cheated and messed around with the other woman and he didn't think I would ever find out that he cheated on me and now I am finding out that he has 2 sons with drug problems as they are using marijuana and the one son got his girlfriend knocked up and pregnant and the baby is due in about 10 weeks and have also been told by my supervisors that their is some other stuff going on and taking place that he doesn't want me or anyone else to know about and I have been told that he is now seeing/dating a gal that knows me and I know her and he has told her stuff about me and she isn't sure what to think about him quite yet and she isn't sure she wants to get involved in the situation between him and I for fear of what might happen if she does and she knows what he is wanting from her and she isn't she sure wants to carry thru with it as all he wants from a woman is to give him a blow job and make him cum and wanting a woman who will swallow his cum and he is wanting a **** buddy/bed partner and now he is pressing charges against me. He is all messed up and he needs help. So don't mess with him at all as he is spreading std around.
 Jonnyrocknroll
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 88
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:32:04 AM
I was in a 4 yr relationship with a woman i suspect of having bordeline personality disorder... She had a mountain of issues.. Yet she played victim so well " you should feel sorry for me because i have 4 kids and i'm not very smart" thats the card she played.. Some ppl have a whole bag full of sorries.. And none of them mean a thing..
 ROHgirlzz
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 89
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/11/2013 6:49:07 PM
Pathological liars just believe their own lies .. they make up their own 'truth' about something. It feels good to them. There's something in the brain that is missing that doesn't monitor this type of behavior. They are so good at it that it is very hard to detect ... and especially if you love them and want to believe the best. It basically sucks !
 missajm
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 90
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/16/2013 4:43:18 PM
Oh daddio19 0n pof is really really good at lying as he doesn't know at all how to tell the truth. He has also lied to law enforcement, his attorney and to the judge, to his roommates, his kids, and his family members and he also has lied to his girlfriend that he is currently involved with as he is going around sleeping around and having sex with multiple woman on the side and he is showing his kids that live at home with him how to go around and sleep around and have sex with multiple woman on the side.
 missajm
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 91
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 3/17/2013 1:56:16 PM
No I am not stalking daddio19 as my supervisor has told me everything that law enforcement has told her about what he is going around doing and law enforcement has also told me what he is going around and doing.
 endlesssun
Joined: 3/26/2013
Msg: 92
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 4/5/2013 9:04:32 AM
Yes it happened to me, and real big stuff, kinda like yours. He's a big liar and I'm not and we've moved on. The toughest part for me is realizing how many people knew (it was a small town I'd just moved to), and didn't see fit to tell me, didn't want to get involved, just minded their own business. They could see I was going to walk in front of a moving train and did nothing. Somehow one person being a big fat liar was, by far, easier to deal with.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 93
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 4/5/2013 12:01:08 PM
Yes, I have dealt with liars in the past. Sad thing is I'm 30, so these are grown men lying. I had men lie about their age, the fact that they cheated on me, where they went to high school, they lied about having kids, lied about being busy. All stupid shit. It's really childish. I just don't say anything cause I know they will deny it till they are blue in the face.
 smillie__
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 94
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 4/5/2013 3:29:45 PM
Yes. Way back in the ICQ days.
In his reality he was:

A corporate lawyer for Meryl Linch. Flew between Boston and Toronto conducting legal work.
Drove a BMW and had a Navigator as his slumming vehicle
His mother was from England, his father was from Trinidad.
Lived in the $500,000.00 condos in Toronto by the harbourfront.

In our reality (since I'm a smart cookie, and found everything that I needed to know from a name and a phone number..and a friend with access to information) he was:

A telephone soliciter for some magazine company
His PARENTS drove those cars. He had a 1992 honda.
He was Jamaican. As were both of his parents.
He actually had a 'last known address' in one of the worst areas in Toronto.

This is the beauty of doing your homework BEFORE you meet someone. I dodged a bullet because I could have been influenced by money and material things. I actually thought that he was WAY out of my league which spurred my curiosity. I just wanted to know something about him that would put us on even ground (in my mind) before I met him!
I still don't know what his motivation was. I could have been murdered. Who knows?
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