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 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
1. Cancelling is better than standing someone up. Waiting for someone who doesn't show is much worse.
2. Chances are you might be happier with the cancellation in most cases. Some of the guys that showed up on meets for me made me wish they cancelled.
3. Make plans doing something that doesn't hinge on the person you're meeting, so that if/when they cancel, it won't interrupt your plans, or make sure you have a good plan B.
 Glasslipper42
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 19
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 8:34:27 PM
Like my good friend says "rejection is Gods protection". For men and women and trust me she is all over these internet dating sites....NEXT!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 21
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 9:20:54 PM
Posted by AintNoDeal:
"...Maybe I just felt like doing yard work instead of driving across town to hear stories about your cat that you have in 5 profile photos..."

That made my day! I am howling with laughter over here.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/9/2013 6:28:06 AM

I can relate to this. I am perfectly fine, no nerves at all, until I am waiting at the meeting point for our first date (I am always early, and the girl tends to be a little late), so many doubts run through my head and it always crosses my mind that it may be easier to just cancel it.


I actually love that feeling you get. You have not met yet. You run through your head the conversations you've had. Sometimes I have had to look at my phone for her name. Was she Jane or Janet or Jan? Then she comes walking down the street. I am most of the time at my favorite restaurant siting outside. She more than likely texted me that she just found a parking spot. And you look and see her for the first time life.


That is an awesome moment.

Sometimes that first response is "she looks great," others is "Ouch, doesn't match the photos," to "Oh my god, pinch me."
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 26
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/9/2013 6:49:12 AM
The same reason(s) why women do. They are married or in a relationship. They decided that they weren't ready or available for a relationship. They were dishonrest about something in their profile. They met someone that they liked better. They were never interested to begin with. Some people will use internet dating as an ego boost or a way to pass time when they are bored.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 34
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/10/2013 6:21:07 AM
I say treat others as you would want to be treated. I have personally only canceled one date. I emailed and explained that I felt uncomfortable with his emails that followed our agreement to meet and I did not want him to drive 30 minutes to meet someone who just did not show up. I have personally had several men ask me out, then disappear. I do not show up without the man confirming the date. I tell him that up front. I would think it would be very rude to have someone sitting in a coffee shop or bar waiting and waiting. That is just plain nasty.
As for thinking someone is out of your league? If she agreed to meet you, she didn't think so. Meet her, what do you really have to lose? Its just a meeting, not an agreement to marry.
I think its rude when either males or females flake. Man up or Woman up!!
 ritawright
Joined: 12/2/2012
Msg: 40
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:10:00 AM
If you are a busy mom he shouldn't have a problem with a drive by "Meet and Greet", at a park, cup of coffee, or department store parking lot, just to get the feel of one another before making plans for a first date. Don't waste your time with a man that won't accommodate you.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 41
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:57:42 AM
This should not be an excuse to be rude Josh, Text and cancel rather than stand someone up and why not try a little honesty.. it really goes a long way
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 45
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:40:35 AM
Can't speak for all dudes, but I do it quite often. Well...not exactly make dates; more along the lines of "we should hang out this weekend," but don't ever make it official. Or there will be times where I'll cancel just because I found something better to do like play Madden online or attend a club. I've had women cancel out on me at the last minute as well. Doesn't bother me one bit because I always have a plan B & C activity ready (club, bar, party, etc)...which is why when I do plan dates I plan accordingly. Thus I always plan a date early enough so I can dip out somewhere in case afterwards if need be. That way my night isn't ruined.
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 46
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:19:28 AM
Some guys are have had bad experiences with their first crush or first girlfriends and become players. They develop a heart of stone. It is not an excuse to be rude, I agree. But for these people, they have bitterness inside and don't care for other people's feelings until they find someone who will finally turn their world upside down and get hurt. Only then they will realize the pain they've caused others. But in the mean time, they don't care.


True,

But then there are others like me who observed and listened to what older guys told me about the laides. I personally never been done wrong or whatnot by any woman. Personally I'm not bitter about anything as far as women are concerned. However, I've seen other guys have bad experiences. Experiences that me, myself & I, would never want experience. A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from other people's mistakes. I'm not a "A hole," but I'm not a "nice guy" either. With women I have a don't care mentality. If they like me koo, if not oh well.

Based off my observations dudes who are the biggest A holes keep women around. *shrugs* Don't know why, it just happens that way. Men see this and they follow the trend. No man want to have his pride and manhood hurt over a woman. Sad part is many women obviously, regardless whether they want to admit it or not, are or were attracted to that kind of behavior...until they get a certain age and by then we all know where it goes from there. Case in point...look at the average age of the women on these forums looking for a "nice/good guy" Actions speak louder than words.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 49
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 4:04:31 PM
I dont even bother after one cancellation. I realize there are true emergencies, but lets face it, there are way too many of them on this site. I too think it is a shame that a few pathetic people with nothing better to do than waste others peoples time ruin it for those who are truly interested in meeting someone.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 50
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 4:20:53 PM
I went through a long patch a few years ago, shortly after I started internet dating ... in which I decided I must be a jinx!

Why?

Because EVERY man who made a date with me had a disaster happen to him which prevented him from meeting me ... one's brother had a motorcycle crash; another's mother had a stroke; yet another caught the flu; another's dog was run over; another's child got burned; another's father had a heart attack.

Funny thing was, not one of these men contacted me after the crisis was over!
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 52
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:52:59 PM
They imagine sweeping you off your feet but as the time draws near they loose their nerve or start feeling ashamed of the things they imagined doing to you. Human imagination is a mixed blessing. It's worse on a dating site which is so removed from reality. Some people go online and just loose touch. You have to weed through them and find the people who can remain real online. It helps if you remain real online and don't let your imagination run away with you. That doesn't sound like a problem in your case. Some people logon and step into an imaginary world of romance and adventure. They get confused. Some are easy to detect. Others more difficult. It would be nice if there were some test you could run on people.
 mjphoto58
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 53
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:33:42 AM
Women do the same thing. Internet dating is a way to meet people but not the end all. Ive had ladies flake out for simple thinsg. Ive flaked out too. Most women shouldnt need internet dating. A woman can walk into a grocery store and get a date. For men it is a little harder. I quit being consumed about dating. I own two businesses and a full time day job. Not dating saves me money. I plan on traveling in the next two years. I would love to have someone join me but I dont get upset if I dont find someone. Women want security when they get in their 40's. I am very happy with myself and dont need someone elses opinion of me.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 54
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 6:20:18 AM
Many men who talk the talk cannot meet in person because they have told too many lies about themselves and their capabilities. For example, the minute a guy talks about his nine inches and how he's gonna give me a hundred orgasms a night I block him. Not because I'm anti sex, but because I know he cannot deliver, so he'll probably stand me up.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 57
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:36:42 PM
for most men they are married in real life or they just want the chase
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 59
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:53:27 PM

Women do the same thing. Internet dating is a way to meet people but not the end all. Ive had ladies flake out for simple thinsg. Ive flaked out too. Most women shouldnt need internet dating. A woman can walk into a grocery store and get a date. For men it is a little harder. I quit being consumed about dating. I own two businesses and a full time day job. Not dating saves me money. I plan on traveling in the next two years. I would love to have someone join me but I dont get upset if I dont find someone. Women want security when they get in their 40's. I am very happy with myself and dont need someone elses opinion of me.


Preach!!
 pulagroasa
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 61
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:01:56 PM
Because he's just not that into you
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 64
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:58:58 AM
Chances are good the guy is married and can only meet on his schedule.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 65
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/21/2013 3:41:53 PM
Now, there's a million dollar question. I met a guy on a different dating site. He not only broke one date, but three. The first time he said it was way too foggy to leave the house (he had less than a 10 minute drive and it was mid aftenoon), the second time we were supposed to go to dinner, one hour before he was to pick me up he called and said he had gotten called into work at the last minute on a Saturday night. The third time he said his mother fell and he had to take her to the ER. Hmmmmm. The next time he called me and asked me out.............I was busy. I'll be busy from now on if he calls again. Enough.


The first time someone cancels a date, I might give them the benefit of the doubt. If that person cancels a date a second time, I would move on. Unless there are extenuating circumstances. Which would be rare. But still possible.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 8/29/2013 2:27:34 AM

I don't agree with this at all. If they've changed their mind or met someone they've already hit it off with on a date sooner than ours, why would I want them to waste my time or theirs?

As long as they have the decency to cancel the date properly and not just do a 'no show', I don't consider it rude at all to change one's mind or meet someone else that you already decide you like.

That said, OP, I don't think any two people could tell you why they would do this. You'll probably get a gamut of reasons, and in my opinion, none of them can really be counted on as 'wrong'. You can cancel a date for whatever reason you'd like in my eyes, as long as you have the human kindness and politeness to cancel it, and to not stand the person up.

+1
 FloridaRes123
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 69
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 8/29/2013 3:10:18 AM
It all depends, within a day, cool....when you're getting READY for said date...not cool at all. I knew of a female friend that was getting her nails done (for the date), only to have the guy text her while she was at the salon and couldn't make it.

She got home, saw the "Online Now" under his screen name and she gave him a piece of her mind. lol.
 NCCLTuser
Joined: 8/19/2013
Msg: 70
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 8/29/2013 8:20:30 AM
OP...

Getting cancelled on is something we ALL get. In the last 4 years, I think I got cancelled on at least 6 times a year. There were 3 women that said they cancelled on me because they had better offers. Online dating will empower people to just cancel. Get over it and keep moving. You at least got a contact with that person and not ignored. Keep your head up and just keep moving...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 72
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 9/2/2013 5:32:52 PM

It all depends, within a day, cool....when you're getting READY for said date...not cool at all. I knew of a female friend that was getting her nails done (for the date), only to have the guy text her while she was at the salon and couldn't make it.

She got home, saw the "Online Now" under his screen name and she gave him a piece of her mind. lol.

Most women get their nails done regardless...she may have moved the appointment up but chances are she does it anyway regularly.

If you plan a date around the person you're meeting it can be frustrating for them to cancel. Being able to go anyway, or having a plan B and C (if you don't want to stay home) is a good way not to let cancelling bother you, even last minute.
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