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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why can't women just say "no or no thank you"?      Home login  
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 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 26
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Msg 25, good one...lol Jenny I got your number
 SASSYCANCER67
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 27
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:13:07 PM
As opposed to Why men can't take NO for an answer!.....if women don't reply then they're not interested end of story.Your better off in that case wait for someone who is everything you want. S
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 28
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:18:51 PM
Dan. You seriously need to readjust your attitude. The man is asking for help. You act like you better than everyone else. If your so awesome with women why the heck do you have a ghey picture with your cat. You look like a mormon cat man. Your a certfied D-bag. If your so awesome with women why are you even on here ?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 29
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:25:18 PM
I see what you mean, OP. I think an answer, either way, would help you respect her choice by stepping away when her disinterest in you is known. OTOH, if we see the perspective of the prospective date, I would also understand her concern about informing you and fearing reprisal for such a rejection. More often than not, in this medium, people face terrible verbal abuse from a party whose advances were declined. Since she would not know you, it would be unfair of you to expect that she returned any of your calls, particularly if you have not gone a date, and even if a date were had, she is still not obligated to inform you of anything. If she doesn't call after a week, consider that she wasn't interested. There is nothing to keep you from waiting for her response; you're equallyh clear to find somebody else.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 30
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:26:49 PM
The best women are the women who are the most direct. My ex was very direct The problem was she was direct to the point of being rude and hurtful. I don't think you would want anyone to be that direct. A good rule of thumb is to note how the converstation flows. If at any time you feel like your forcing things then she most likely isn't interested. When you have true chemistry the converstation just flows with ease. When you ask for the number if she hesitates or seems unsure that isn't a good sign.

I am horrible with body language and social cues but some things to look for are...... signs of disinterest: crossed arms, lack of eye contact, they aren't close to you body wise, short answers, lack of smiling, figiting

signs of interest: smiling alot, brushing their hair with their hand, being close to you, eye contact, long answers.

When someone is truly interested you will feel connected to them. It will be extremely easy to talk with them.
Example: Me and my ex were having some a wonderful talk that we got lost in the mall on our first date because both of us couldn't pay attention to anything but each other. If you are connected you will never have to question if they are interested.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 31
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:29:48 PM
Some men are bad at taking no for an answer. When i get rejected i ask for if i did anything specfic wrong, so i can improve my game, so to speak. I won't do anything beyond that. I don't see why a women has to be rude when rejecting someone. Polite and firm is the best way IMO.
 sassybaby2013
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 32
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:33:11 PM
I have no problem saying no, but i do so in a polite nice way. If somsone gets too aggressive then I stop being nice and just get my point across.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 33
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:36:15 PM
Btw Dan. I read that you block anyone who is "fat and ugly" as soon as they message you. Your 25 ? That is super immature and childish. If you were fat and ugly would you want to be treated like dirt and made to feel bad about yourself. You should treat everyone with kindness and respect. Your attitude sucks bro. Grow up. I give everyone a chance nomatter what they would like. Even if i am not attracted to them on a relationship level they could be a wonderful friend. Men like you just annoy me. You think your sh(t don't stink.
 Seventiesbaby2013
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 34
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:11:07 PM
Guys do the same thing its not just a female thing
 enjoyinlife83
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 35
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:34:32 PM
I asked a lady for her phone number, and she gave me the number for Pizza Hut, I was very disappointed- their sauce sucks.
 Cheskat37
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 36
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:03:30 PM
Yes and no, a women is more likely to feel bad... knowing rejection sucks. hope that answers your question.


lol enjoyinglife83... thats a funny story ... they should make a like button here sorta like facebook has.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 37
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:36:31 PM
Well, this escalated quickly.

To be completely honest my first thoughts upon being asked to give examples were exactly what Dan said. I was rather amazed that a man of a certain age (esp in the food/bev biz) didn't know what the signs are.

There are lots and lots of articles written about body language but there are some that are the same across the board: lack of eye contact, short answers, nonverbal responses, turning one's body away from the speaker, etc. If you are the one doing all the talking and she does not seem to be answering you or seems to be engaging those around her rather than you - she is not interested.

I work in bars/restaurants and am approached nightly. I actually want to talk to about 5% of the men who approach me. It is a slippery slope. If I have just finished working I can usually keep it from becoming too personal and can slip away citing needing to mingle with other customers if I feel the number is about to be requested. Once I have been off for a while and/or have moved on to another venue it becomes more difficult. Some men don't have any idea about social cues and are just completely oblivious. Some men will absolutely not go away no matter what you say or do. It is very awkward. Of course there are the ones who go a bit nutso and start ranting if you turn them down in any way. I am sure there are men who face these same scenarios with women.

It is sort of a damned if you do and damned if you don't moment.
 Cheskat37
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 38
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:47:58 PM
Very true, If I'm approched at work, I will be polite and talk with em but I'm not about to go out with them. timing is everything.
 Smurph1129
Joined: 12/10/2012
Msg: 39
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:48:58 PM
When i get rejected i ask for if i did anything specfic wrong, so i can improve my game, so to speak. I won't do anything beyond that.


I personally wouldn't suggest this to anyone because it just seems desperate and a woman definitely is not obligated to give a reason why. Any time you get rejected you just to accept that it wasn't meant to be and move on.
 bibliophile1
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 40
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:52:32 PM
spot4username is right. It's hard to be in a woman's position. Some men are difficult to reject and do not take no for an answer. I once had a problem like that with a guy who started talking to me on a train. He had me backed into a corner as well and I couldn't escape. :/ Also some men don't realise that often we women just want to go about our daily lives without being chatted up by random guys. Sometimes you're just not in the mood for that.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 41
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:58:17 PM
thanks for the input guys and girls....i guess the prob. is i get mixed messages when out on dates..on one hand she seems interested..playing with her hair...looking at me..close body position..good convo..etc..then when it comes to a 2nd date..she makes up stories & excuses or disappears into thin air. I guess it is what it is..when the right one comes along..it will go smooth & easy.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 42
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:13:38 PM

i guess the prob. is i get mixed messages when out on dates


This is not at all what your original post was about. Your OP was about when you meet women when you are out and about and chat them up to get a number.

Concerning your new post:
If you take a woman on a date and then she doesn't want to see you again she just wasn't that into you. It doesn't matter why and dwelling on it will do no good whatsoever. Unfortunately it seems that you are choosing women who are unable to be honest and say - It was nice to meet you and I had a nice time but don't believe there is a romantic match. (can you tell I have had a bit of practice saying that?) Are you dating women a lot younger than you or less worldly? Or maybe they have been out of the game for a long time?
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 43
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:37:54 PM

I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'? Give me some examples. Whats the issue with just saying 'no thank you, i'm not interested'? believe me, i would not persist at all if she simply told the truth.I'm fully aware i dont float everybodies boat..nor them mine and i dont take it personally.


Generally, when she reaches for pepper spray or a taser, that's a good indication she isn't interested.
 sunnyside72
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 44
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:59:29 PM
There is a difference between women and girls- Girls still have a lot to learn and may not be able to communicate adequately. Furthermore, communication is a dying art and technology has created more problems regarding communication etiquette! Everyone is on their own journey and may change some along the way. However, dealing with women will eliminate some of these issues. If you can not accept a female not returning a message (I would just assume she isn't interested and move on), you need to assess the situation more and deal with women only!
 ladysuccubus
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 45
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 10:48:53 PM
Yeah, i would not give my number to someone I had no interest in. Some women are odd.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 46
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:29:38 PM
"If you are connected you will never have to question if they are interested."

So true! This answers more than half of the questions posted on these forums.
 HumorousGoddess
Joined: 1/10/2013
Msg: 47
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 12:32:21 AM
I can certainly answer that, as a total newby here. I agree that it's good manners to say, "No thank you". I felt that if any man put himself out there and took the time and energy to send a message, it's only polite and right to respond. My first week, I responded to every post to not leave guys hanging. I was nice. I said, "I don't think we are a match. Happy Fishing." Or at least, I thought that sounded ok and to the point. Thump factor is either there or it's not, right? At first, most men were appreciative for my honesty. But suddenly I got bombarded with mean and sometimes cruel messages back. Clearly I had read their profiles (or I assumed that anyway) before I formed an opinion. If I saw things I knew wouldn't work, well it is what it is. No, I got chastised, ridiculed, and called names. I also got told to change my profile, got accused of untrue opinions, and it goes on. This was WEEK ONE. I removed the profile. Eventually, I put one back up a few days ago, but it's much more vague and I no longer respond if I am not interested because I am afraid to. I was told by men on this site that it's ok to just not respond if you're not seeing a match being made and that it is expected behavior, and that the men on this site are aware and expect it. So, that's what I do now, even though I still think it's rude. You would be surprised how many men send message after message and don't let it go if you tell them no. Not everyone is nice like you. The bad seeds ruined it for everyone normal. So, as a woman who would love to say thank you and no thank you, I am sorry. Online dating seems to be a whole new ship to navigate through shark-infested waters.
 Keredwa
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 48
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 2:43:16 AM
mmm danny boy we in Australia have a description for a**holes like you and we have a simple method of dealing with d*&%heads like yourself. You are obviously a piece of excrement and bound for the sewage system,do come down to aus I would love to see how long your bullsh*t lasted down here
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 49
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 3:41:14 AM
I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'?

that's when they make excuses and disappear right after you bang them.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 50
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 4:39:13 AM
ohh god..motown that was funny!! I got THAT hint loud & clear..
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