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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why can't women just say "no or no thank you"?      Home login  
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 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 51
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
To the guy who said you shouldn't ask what you did wrong. If someone isn't interested in you already what is the harm in asking ?You don't want to look desperate or needy if you still have a chance with someone, i agree. If you already blew it then what does it matter anymore ? Mistakes should be an oppurtunity to learn and grow. If a girl thought you were attractive, funny, and cool but you did something that was a huge turn off wouldn't you want to know ? To a certain extent you can't worry what people feel and think about you all the time.

Example. I was on a date with a girl who was interested in and she felt the same, but i made a comment that really upset her. If i never asked what went wrong i would of never known. Her comments and feedback really helped me out and i never made the same mistake again. If i never asked i could of went on doing the same thing over and over.
 junedooley45
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 52
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:45:34 AM
i say no thanks good luck on your search but most will not leave me alone after that they just want to say why. i have my own reasons so i just say good luck. if it keeps up with the stupid stuff me text on here i block.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 53
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:48:22 AM
I rather a women not reply to me if she isn't interested. If she is interested then obviously she should. I hate when a women messages me back and then i ask follow up questions only to find out she has no interest. Why the hell did you take the time and energy to reply back to me ?

It must suck for women when you reject a guy, because you do get attacked. If i get rejected by being ignored or told generally i'm not interested then i do not get upset. If i feel like my time was wasted or i led on then i do get angry. If i rejected every women who wasn't interested then i would of wasted alot of time being negative. I would of cursed off half of POF, lol jk.

One time me and this girl on here had a wonderful connection. She had a week old picture of me and she knew how tall i was. She was interested and she thought i was attractive. When we met up we talked and she let me kiss her a few times. Afterwards, i texted her and she said she wasn't interested. It turns out it was because of my height, but she knew i was 5'4-5'5. It was frustrating that i took the time to make a connection with and she rejects me because of height (when she knew how tall i was). I felt like my time was wasted and i dropped my walls and paid the price.

I think how we go about doing something is sometimes more important than the action itsself. If you look your a wonderful guy, but i didn't feel any chemistry then thats one thing. If you say look your just not sexy to me and i wasn't excited then thats another.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 54
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:05:24 AM
To spotuser name. I learned in life that you shouldn't assume people have knowledge because they are a certain age (not putting you down). Some of the biggest morons i ever met were older people. Some people are socially retarded and they kind of forced you to be rude to them. Some people just never learn certain skills, but it's great that they are trying. I learned social skills because i was tired of being embrassed and misunderstanding situations. I only learned at 24-25, so age doesn't count for much always.

When a guy is overly aggressive and they won't take no for an answer they deserve to be treated like garbage. When someone hints or tells you no more than twice and you still go after them, then it becomes "disrespect" on your part. Guys need to understand that asking 10 times won't change that no to a yes. A women has a right to say "no" without being attacked and bereated. A true test of a gentleman is how he behaves after being told something he doesn't want to hear.

To OP: I know how you feel bro. It sucks when someone gives you all the "go" signs and then tells you that they don't want a second date. They best advice i can give you is to assume nothing and just ask if they want to see you again. Don't put any expectations or hopes into a date, Just go with the flow and have fun, and hopefuly you will get a second one. When you find someone you "click" with then you will know your most likely getting a second date. Happy fishing.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 55
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:57:18 AM
For every guy that takes a 'no thank you' graciously is another guy that uses the opportunity to tell a lady that she is fat, ugly, old or stupid. You can't win.
 ladysuccubus
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 56
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 12:46:20 PM
I agree! Thats why I don't respond to emails on here if I'm not interested. Or if someone doesn't respond to my emails, I just move on. Words can be harsh and sometimes more hurtful. But in that situation, I would of just told you I had a boyfriend LOL.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 57
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 7:42:03 PM
Because they enjoy stringing men along, so they can try to get as much as they can from a man. They continually go on dates with these men, when there's clearly no interest in them, just to get expensive dinners, or gifts, and then they go brag to their friends about how "stupid" men are. These are the types of women who've had multiple bad relationships with douchebaggy men, or have been dumped on repeatedly by men.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 58
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:09:39 PM
Humorous,

I think you had it right the first time.

I respond to every E-mail I am sent, just like you did, read the profile if not a match.
Just respond like
Thanks for your interest, but I don't think it would work out.
Or
Thanks for your interest, but I don't want to take things any further.

A polite reply indicating no intertest, I much prefer those than no response at all.
If the person is not interested and tells you so, you move on, you don't chastise or riducle.

You were right the first time I think it is rude not to respond, sorry those men ruined it for you.
 Whatheheck1
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 59
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:24:31 PM
Chef,

If she's given you her number, wait the obligatory three days and call her. Be polite. Ask her out. Have a plan for the date.

If she says "no", then you're done. Leave her alone. Do not hound her.

Most people use their mobile phones for 99% of their phone converations so she does have your number after you first call her. She will call you if she was truly busy and wants to go out. She will get in touch with you if she thinks it through and decides she wants to go out after all. She will dial you-up if her latest romance hits the skids.

Take stock in yourself and don't pursue a woman who is "cool and non-chalant". There are plenty of women who will appreciate the things you have to offer. Find one.
 DoritoMuncher
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 60
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:25:21 PM
I learned a lot today. ^_^

Best wishes everybody.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 61
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:27:28 PM
Carolann,

Am really sorry to hear that.

You do the right thing a polite "No Thanks" if you get comments back.

That shows you got it right the first time.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 62
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:35:26 PM
Couventine,

You had it correct, it is common courtesy to send a reply, to anyone who took the time to contact you.

If they take rejection personally, you got it right when you replied "Not Interested"

I was a bit put off by my 1st rejection, but you grow to live with it, I don't even ask why and would never even consider replying with sarcasm.

You move on, if these guys can't take rejection they should not be on an on-line dating site you will get some "Not Interesteds"
 gloomysunday
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 63
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:02:05 PM
I have to say I agree I wish they would just flat out tell us guys something. For example I got a girl's phone number from a McD's drive thru I didn't ask for it or talk her into it. The day I did we text back and forth for a few hours, then I wen to sleep because I had to be at work at 5:30 the next morning and she called my phone at 12:34am since then its been going on 4 days no text or picking up the phone when I call her.

I can take a flat out rejection even a really harsh one won't be the first and sure won't be the last I wish women would say they don't want to talk to you anymore so I can say okay and we'll move on.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 64
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/15/2013 7:50:25 PM
^^^Here's the thing...you didn't really 'want' this girls number, else you might have asked for it or maybe even tried to talk her into giving it to you. So basically you used the number just because you got it?
Im confused as to how 'you' can consider this rejection?


I wish men would call a girl because they want to and not because they can...*sigh*

This entire thread is silly. Mutual interest is the only stopper.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 65
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:06:33 AM
If you dont know social cues by now, you probably will never learn. Just move on and stop the high pressure tactics.. many women dont like feeling pressured into anything and will often use the fake number trick just to get rid of men like you. I myself usually say thanks but not thanks.
 Poshhipster
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 66
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:23:40 AM
Can't help but see the irony of telling people to look for social cues within one of the most antisocial means of human interaction: online dating. :-)
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 67
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:29:43 AM
poshhipster, read the original post, he was talking about meeting women in public as well
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 68
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:29:54 PM
This is happened to me ( and other men ) multiple times. A woman would give me her number and never return my calls or texts. Either they weren't interested in you to begin with and didn't want to reject you in person. Or they were initially interested and changed her mind due to many different possible reasons.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 69
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:41:01 PM

I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'? Give me some examples.


Vomiting on you, screaming “fire!”, calling the cops, running away….really? You can’t tell?

How about trying to ignore you, going about her business, looking bored and irritated, a zillion other things….


Whats the issue with just saying 'no thank you, i'm not interested'?


What’s the issue with approaching total strangers and asking for her phone number or email address?

Some women don’t like that.


867-5309?


 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 70
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:51:55 PM
Well said fleuron. I still do say no thank you and ignore anything that might follow. I never intend to hurt anyones feelings, but sometimes no matter how nicely you try to say it, they take it wrong and get all angry. Then so many other men wonder why we are so gun shy... DAH
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 71
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:05:10 PM
I do. If I'm not interested I just say so...in as kind and thoughtful way I can. Problem is, many (didn't say most) men huff off like they are offended and you don't know if they might be waiting outside the door for you when you come out.
Why not just dismiss the "get the number" or "email" and just ask them if they come there often or if they have a favorite band, assuming its a bar or a club. Just be there next time.
It comes off as pushy if you are a woman of quality for a guy to ask for your phone number or email address or whatever.
Not very often but occasionally I see a man across a room, recently it was a security guard while just out running errands whose image stays with me. I want to see them again. I will find a way to meet up or run into them again...
But a guy who is pushy is like the guy wearing chains and an open shirt who asks you "what's your sign??"
 Deltah3avy
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 72
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:18:30 PM
I've always wondered this myself.
Personally If I'm asked out by women I'm not interested in (which happens quite often IRL but not on PoF) I just say no thanks which most people think makes me an ***hole but I always felt I'm doing us both a huge favor by not our wasting time. If more people would just man up and speak their mind there would be fewer people clueless as to why they're being led on and then insta-dumped.
 gogolll
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 73
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:43:43 PM
i think it has to do with so many emails all at the sametime from diffrent men. i have found alot of woman intrested in me. but they may have found a bigger fish it may not have anything you have done its just most men dont realize that alot of woman get hit on by alot of men and alot of them are tired of the ugly men and dont give some of us good looking or average men a chance to get to know them becouse of distractions of being emailed or hit on alot they want the best thing out there but they will stay single becouse they are never happy with there selfs and really need a ego boost. thats not a bad thing if you have a low self esteem as a woman and a man has abused you mentally .and you as a woman need that to feel good ,but to just play games thats not right if you allready have a good self esteem about your self.just say sorry your not my type .a man that is secure with him self would say no problem .i got turned down by a really hot woman and that might make her think again. well maybe he is not so bad . or you just gained respect from her. good luck every one
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 74
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:02:58 PM

why not give me some examples?

Ask yourself ... what do you do when someone is talking to you, and you aren't interested? It's probably similar for a woman - eyes looking away, short responses, small smiles, if she smiles at all. Body language turned slightly away, as if she's just about to move, arms across her body.

If a woman is interested, her body language will be much more open and she'll spend more time looking at you. Her responses will be longer, more enthusiastic and she'll smile bigger and more often.

Hope that helps.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 75
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:16:23 PM
I agree Deltah.

I've had quite a few exchanges on here and other sites that go like this...

Him - Hi babe, take a look at my profile and pics, and get back to me yes or no

Me - {looks at profile, not compatible} Hi, thanks for your message, I don't think we're right for each other, sorry

Him - Aww why's that babe?

Me - We're just not right for one another. Good luck, anyway!

Him - Oww come on babe, give me a chance... what's your number, I'll ring you... text me babe

Me - [blocks user]
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