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 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 8
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'?

Laughing hysterically...
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 10
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:48:00 AM
The key is to be persistent . if one is not, then again it is time to move on. who wants to be involved with someone who takes weeks and weeks here to get to know each other :)
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 13
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 2:16:11 PM
...youngs ladies love the men who speak their mind...
...older ladies love the men who take their time...
 SASSYCANCER67
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 15
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:13:07 PM
As opposed to Why men can't take NO for an answer!.....if women don't reply then they're not interested end of story.Your better off in that case wait for someone who is everything you want. S
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 16
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:18:51 PM
Dan. You seriously need to readjust your attitude. The man is asking for help. You act like you better than everyone else. If your so awesome with women why the heck do you have a ghey picture with your cat. You look like a mormon cat man. Your a certfied D-bag. If your so awesome with women why are you even on here ?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 17
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:25:18 PM
I see what you mean, OP. I think an answer, either way, would help you respect her choice by stepping away when her disinterest in you is known. OTOH, if we see the perspective of the prospective date, I would also understand her concern about informing you and fearing reprisal for such a rejection. More often than not, in this medium, people face terrible verbal abuse from a party whose advances were declined. Since she would not know you, it would be unfair of you to expect that she returned any of your calls, particularly if you have not gone a date, and even if a date were had, she is still not obligated to inform you of anything. If she doesn't call after a week, consider that she wasn't interested. There is nothing to keep you from waiting for her response; you're equallyh clear to find somebody else.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 18
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:26:49 PM
The best women are the women who are the most direct. My ex was very direct The problem was she was direct to the point of being rude and hurtful. I don't think you would want anyone to be that direct. A good rule of thumb is to note how the converstation flows. If at any time you feel like your forcing things then she most likely isn't interested. When you have true chemistry the converstation just flows with ease. When you ask for the number if she hesitates or seems unsure that isn't a good sign.

I am horrible with body language and social cues but some things to look for are...... signs of disinterest: crossed arms, lack of eye contact, they aren't close to you body wise, short answers, lack of smiling, figiting

signs of interest: smiling alot, brushing their hair with their hand, being close to you, eye contact, long answers.

When someone is truly interested you will feel connected to them. It will be extremely easy to talk with them.
Example: Me and my ex were having some a wonderful talk that we got lost in the mall on our first date because both of us couldn't pay attention to anything but each other. If you are connected you will never have to question if they are interested.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 19
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:29:48 PM
Some men are bad at taking no for an answer. When i get rejected i ask for if i did anything specfic wrong, so i can improve my game, so to speak. I won't do anything beyond that. I don't see why a women has to be rude when rejecting someone. Polite and firm is the best way IMO.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 20
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:36:15 PM
Btw Dan. I read that you block anyone who is "fat and ugly" as soon as they message you. Your 25 ? That is super immature and childish. If you were fat and ugly would you want to be treated like dirt and made to feel bad about yourself. You should treat everyone with kindness and respect. Your attitude sucks bro. Grow up. I give everyone a chance nomatter what they would like. Even if i am not attracted to them on a relationship level they could be a wonderful friend. Men like you just annoy me. You think your sh(t don't stink.
 Seventiesbaby2013
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 21
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:11:07 PM
Guys do the same thing its not just a female thing
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 22
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:36:31 PM
Well, this escalated quickly.

To be completely honest my first thoughts upon being asked to give examples were exactly what Dan said. I was rather amazed that a man of a certain age (esp in the food/bev biz) didn't know what the signs are.

There are lots and lots of articles written about body language but there are some that are the same across the board: lack of eye contact, short answers, nonverbal responses, turning one's body away from the speaker, etc. If you are the one doing all the talking and she does not seem to be answering you or seems to be engaging those around her rather than you - she is not interested.

I work in bars/restaurants and am approached nightly. I actually want to talk to about 5% of the men who approach me. It is a slippery slope. If I have just finished working I can usually keep it from becoming too personal and can slip away citing needing to mingle with other customers if I feel the number is about to be requested. Once I have been off for a while and/or have moved on to another venue it becomes more difficult. Some men don't have any idea about social cues and are just completely oblivious. Some men will absolutely not go away no matter what you say or do. It is very awkward. Of course there are the ones who go a bit nutso and start ranting if you turn them down in any way. I am sure there are men who face these same scenarios with women.

It is sort of a damned if you do and damned if you don't moment.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 24
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:13:38 PM

i guess the prob. is i get mixed messages when out on dates


This is not at all what your original post was about. Your OP was about when you meet women when you are out and about and chat them up to get a number.

Concerning your new post:
If you take a woman on a date and then she doesn't want to see you again she just wasn't that into you. It doesn't matter why and dwelling on it will do no good whatsoever. Unfortunately it seems that you are choosing women who are unable to be honest and say - It was nice to meet you and I had a nice time but don't believe there is a romantic match. (can you tell I have had a bit of practice saying that?) Are you dating women a lot younger than you or less worldly? Or maybe they have been out of the game for a long time?
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 25
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:29:38 PM
"If you are connected you will never have to question if they are interested."

So true! This answers more than half of the questions posted on these forums.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 28
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:38:17 AM
To the guy who said you shouldn't ask what you did wrong. If someone isn't interested in you already what is the harm in asking ?You don't want to look desperate or needy if you still have a chance with someone, i agree. If you already blew it then what does it matter anymore ? Mistakes should be an oppurtunity to learn and grow. If a girl thought you were attractive, funny, and cool but you did something that was a huge turn off wouldn't you want to know ? To a certain extent you can't worry what people feel and think about you all the time.

Example. I was on a date with a girl who was interested in and she felt the same, but i made a comment that really upset her. If i never asked what went wrong i would of never known. Her comments and feedback really helped me out and i never made the same mistake again. If i never asked i could of went on doing the same thing over and over.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 29
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:48:22 AM
I rather a women not reply to me if she isn't interested. If she is interested then obviously she should. I hate when a women messages me back and then i ask follow up questions only to find out she has no interest. Why the hell did you take the time and energy to reply back to me ?

It must suck for women when you reject a guy, because you do get attacked. If i get rejected by being ignored or told generally i'm not interested then i do not get upset. If i feel like my time was wasted or i led on then i do get angry. If i rejected every women who wasn't interested then i would of wasted alot of time being negative. I would of cursed off half of POF, lol jk.

One time me and this girl on here had a wonderful connection. She had a week old picture of me and she knew how tall i was. She was interested and she thought i was attractive. When we met up we talked and she let me kiss her a few times. Afterwards, i texted her and she said she wasn't interested. It turns out it was because of my height, but she knew i was 5'4-5'5. It was frustrating that i took the time to make a connection with and she rejects me because of height (when she knew how tall i was). I felt like my time was wasted and i dropped my walls and paid the price.

I think how we go about doing something is sometimes more important than the action itsself. If you look your a wonderful guy, but i didn't feel any chemistry then thats one thing. If you say look your just not sexy to me and i wasn't excited then thats another.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 30
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:05:24 AM
To spotuser name. I learned in life that you shouldn't assume people have knowledge because they are a certain age (not putting you down). Some of the biggest morons i ever met were older people. Some people are socially retarded and they kind of forced you to be rude to them. Some people just never learn certain skills, but it's great that they are trying. I learned social skills because i was tired of being embrassed and misunderstanding situations. I only learned at 24-25, so age doesn't count for much always.

When a guy is overly aggressive and they won't take no for an answer they deserve to be treated like garbage. When someone hints or tells you no more than twice and you still go after them, then it becomes "disrespect" on your part. Guys need to understand that asking 10 times won't change that no to a yes. A women has a right to say "no" without being attacked and bereated. A true test of a gentleman is how he behaves after being told something he doesn't want to hear.

To OP: I know how you feel bro. It sucks when someone gives you all the "go" signs and then tells you that they don't want a second date. They best advice i can give you is to assume nothing and just ask if they want to see you again. Don't put any expectations or hopes into a date, Just go with the flow and have fun, and hopefuly you will get a second one. When you find someone you "click" with then you will know your most likely getting a second date. Happy fishing.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 31
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 8:09:39 PM
Humorous,

I think you had it right the first time.

I respond to every E-mail I am sent, just like you did, read the profile if not a match.
Just respond like
Thanks for your interest, but I don't think it would work out.
Or
Thanks for your interest, but I don't want to take things any further.

A polite reply indicating no intertest, I much prefer those than no response at all.
If the person is not interested and tells you so, you move on, you don't chastise or riducle.

You were right the first time I think it is rude not to respond, sorry those men ruined it for you.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 32
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:27:28 PM
Carolann,

Am really sorry to hear that.

You do the right thing a polite "No Thanks" if you get comments back.

That shows you got it right the first time.
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 33
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:35:26 PM
Couventine,

You had it correct, it is common courtesy to send a reply, to anyone who took the time to contact you.

If they take rejection personally, you got it right when you replied "Not Interested"

I was a bit put off by my 1st rejection, but you grow to live with it, I don't even ask why and would never even consider replying with sarcasm.

You move on, if these guys can't take rejection they should not be on an on-line dating site you will get some "Not Interesteds"
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 35
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:29:54 PM
This is happened to me ( and other men ) multiple times. A woman would give me her number and never return my calls or texts. Either they weren't interested in you to begin with and didn't want to reject you in person. Or they were initially interested and changed her mind due to many different possible reasons.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 37
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:02:58 PM

why not give me some examples?

Ask yourself ... what do you do when someone is talking to you, and you aren't interested? It's probably similar for a woman - eyes looking away, short responses, small smiles, if she smiles at all. Body language turned slightly away, as if she's just about to move, arms across her body.

If a woman is interested, her body language will be much more open and she'll spend more time looking at you. Her responses will be longer, more enthusiastic and she'll smile bigger and more often.

Hope that helps.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 38
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:16:23 PM
I agree Deltah.

I've had quite a few exchanges on here and other sites that go like this...

Him - Hi babe, take a look at my profile and pics, and get back to me yes or no

Me - {looks at profile, not compatible} Hi, thanks for your message, I don't think we're right for each other, sorry

Him - Aww why's that babe?

Me - We're just not right for one another. Good luck, anyway!

Him - Oww come on babe, give me a chance... what's your number, I'll ring you... text me babe

Me - [blocks user]
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 39
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:01:22 PM
Venuse,

Pity this happens,

You politely say no, and should hear nothing further.

I do exactly the same thing as you, women accept the not interested and you don't hear from them again.

These men should do the same.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 42
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:29:36 PM
Men go postal, as you have stated. I figured out how to politely decline a man asking me to dance, which usually ended up with him freaking out because he was turned down. I say very sweetly, no thank you, but, thank you for asking me...what are they going to say? they seem happy with that and walk away. Perhaps though, you need to pay more attention to a woman when you are trying to get that personal info. Is she looking you in the eye? leaning towards you? touching you lightly on the arm etc? Or, is she facing the other way and looking over her shoulder at you to answer you? Giving you short answers and looking distracted? Why, oh why cant men figure this out??
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 43
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:28:52 PM

I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'? Give me some examples.


When her husband or boyfriend shows up and he's bigger and meaner looking than you.
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