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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why can't women just say "no or no thank you"?      Home login  
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 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 74
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I do. If I'm not interested I just say so...in as kind and thoughtful way I can. Problem is, many (didn't say most) men huff off like they are offended and you don't know if they might be waiting outside the door for you when you come out.
Why not just dismiss the "get the number" or "email" and just ask them if they come there often or if they have a favorite band, assuming its a bar or a club. Just be there next time.
It comes off as pushy if you are a woman of quality for a guy to ask for your phone number or email address or whatever.
Not very often but occasionally I see a man across a room, recently it was a security guard while just out running errands whose image stays with me. I want to see them again. I will find a way to meet up or run into them again...
But a guy who is pushy is like the guy wearing chains and an open shirt who asks you "what's your sign??"
 Deltah3avy
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 75
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:18:30 PM
I've always wondered this myself.
Personally If I'm asked out by women I'm not interested in (which happens quite often IRL but not on PoF) I just say no thanks which most people think makes me an ***hole but I always felt I'm doing us both a huge favor by not our wasting time. If more people would just man up and speak their mind there would be fewer people clueless as to why they're being led on and then insta-dumped.
 gogolll
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 76
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:43:43 PM
i think it has to do with so many emails all at the sametime from diffrent men. i have found alot of woman intrested in me. but they may have found a bigger fish it may not have anything you have done its just most men dont realize that alot of woman get hit on by alot of men and alot of them are tired of the ugly men and dont give some of us good looking or average men a chance to get to know them becouse of distractions of being emailed or hit on alot they want the best thing out there but they will stay single becouse they are never happy with there selfs and really need a ego boost. thats not a bad thing if you have a low self esteem as a woman and a man has abused you mentally .and you as a woman need that to feel good ,but to just play games thats not right if you allready have a good self esteem about your self.just say sorry your not my type .a man that is secure with him self would say no problem .i got turned down by a really hot woman and that might make her think again. well maybe he is not so bad . or you just gained respect from her. good luck every one
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 77
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:02:58 PM

why not give me some examples?

Ask yourself ... what do you do when someone is talking to you, and you aren't interested? It's probably similar for a woman - eyes looking away, short responses, small smiles, if she smiles at all. Body language turned slightly away, as if she's just about to move, arms across her body.

If a woman is interested, her body language will be much more open and she'll spend more time looking at you. Her responses will be longer, more enthusiastic and she'll smile bigger and more often.

Hope that helps.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 78
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:16:23 PM
I agree Deltah.

I've had quite a few exchanges on here and other sites that go like this...

Him - Hi babe, take a look at my profile and pics, and get back to me yes or no

Me - {looks at profile, not compatible} Hi, thanks for your message, I don't think we're right for each other, sorry

Him - Aww why's that babe?

Me - We're just not right for one another. Good luck, anyway!

Him - Oww come on babe, give me a chance... what's your number, I'll ring you... text me babe

Me - [blocks user]
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 79
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:23:16 PM
I agree Deltah.

I've had quite a few exchanges on here and other sites that go like this...

Him - Hi babe, take a look at my profile and pics, and get back to me yes or no

Me - {looks at profile, not compatible} Hi, thanks for your message, I don't think we're right for each other, sorry

Him - Aww why's that babe?

Me - We're just not right for one another. Good luck, anyway!

Him - Oww come on babe, give me a chance... what's your number, I'll ring you... text me babe

Me - [blocks user]



Ooooorrrr much much much worse ...
 EnigmaticDalton
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 80
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:02:09 AM

Why can't women just say no or no thank you?


Because they're afraid of text on a computer screen and/or they are lazy.

Oh and dont forget the most important reason...

THEY DO NOT GIVE A **** ABOUT YOU!
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 81
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:01:22 PM
Venuse,

Pity this happens,

You politely say no, and should hear nothing further.

I do exactly the same thing as you, women accept the not interested and you don't hear from them again.

These men should do the same.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 82
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:34:45 PM
How about this statement in answer to the OP.

Why can't men take no for an answer?

JMHO
 MA3/3
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 83
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:38:17 PM
Guys disappear too.........no one seems to know how to communicate anymore..... ;(
 theadventureseeker
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 84
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:39:19 PM
Sometimes we cant figure out if its a game or if your shy(read alot of profiles that proclaimed it).I got sucked into case where i got persude and returned the favor in a cat and mouse game. Then one day over heard the conversation about how hot this one guy was,like she was ready to hop him. And i thought............uh thats not shy,but I got my answer. I still hate the games its a lose of time. In your case you can expect that to happen big time on a first meet. she would have to be pretty ballsy to go for it not knowing you that well. In my above story a repoire was established and it still went no where.Bottom line most women dont want to be persude heres a line from a "pof love story" by the woman, quote " i had went on pof, just for a laugh to start with, then got in touch with my now husband a year ago past on december, finally i plucked up the courrage to ask him to meet up for a drink " . There you go, its the women that wants to be in the driver seat of the capture. I guess they want to find the right bolt that fits their threads.
 theadventureseeker
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 85
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:59:48 PM
ahh come on ,If i still had my picture up you still wouldn't email me back even if we shared an interest. The only time i got an email back is when i was in a crazy mood. It made her laugh because it was off the wall,but the second email was never answered. you must be talking to models that give up when they connect. we are all here for everybodys entertainment...........extra extra read all about me.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 86
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:55:27 PM
OP. Sounds like you're upset about women giving you fake numbers just so that you leave them alone.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 87
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Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:29:36 PM
Men go postal, as you have stated. I figured out how to politely decline a man asking me to dance, which usually ended up with him freaking out because he was turned down. I say very sweetly, no thank you, but, thank you for asking me...what are they going to say? they seem happy with that and walk away. Perhaps though, you need to pay more attention to a woman when you are trying to get that personal info. Is she looking you in the eye? leaning towards you? touching you lightly on the arm etc? Or, is she facing the other way and looking over her shoulder at you to answer you? Giving you short answers and looking distracted? Why, oh why cant men figure this out??
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 88
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:48:20 PM
Because SOME women like to string guys along to see what they can get from them, with no intention whatsoever of dating or getting close to them. They get off on stuff like that, but if it was ever done to them by a man, look out.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 89
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:50:01 PM

What’s the issue with approaching total strangers and asking for her phone number or email address?



We were about to ask you the same thing, since you go on and on about how you don;t approach strangers/men for dates. Kind of ironic you'd say this.


Some women don’t like that.


Hmm, wonder who might not like it?
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 90
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:48:11 AM
I actually have had more than one guy go postal when I said "Sorry, I'm not interested."

One guy kicked my car and put a dent in it.

Another approached ne in a convenience store and asked for my number. When I declined, he started screaming in my face. He was there with a group of friends and they just stood there watching. it was mortifying and scary. The guy looked totally normal. So, now I take the safe road rather than the honest and forthright road- and give them a fake number.
 EnigmaticDalton
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 91
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 1:11:44 AM

Men go postal, as you have stated. I figured out how to politely decline a man asking me to dance, which usually ended up with him freaking out because he was turned down. I say very sweetly, no thank you, but, thank you for asking me...what are they going to say? they seem happy with that and walk away.


Women go postal too... Sadly there are people who just can't handle rejection.

Personally I'd gladly take rejection over being led on any day.


Perhaps though, you need to pay more attention to a woman when you are trying to get that personal info. Is she looking you in the eye? leaning towards you? touching you lightly on the arm etc? Or, is she facing the other way and looking over her shoulder at you to answer you? Giving you short answers and looking distracted? Why, oh why cant men figure this out??


Why oh why can't women be straight forward...

I'm sorry but jackasses aren't an excuse. Especially online. Online you have the option to block people who can't handle rejection.

Offline I can be a little more understanding of it...


I actually have had more than one guy go postal when I said "Sorry, I'm not interested."

One guy kicked my car and put a dent in it.

Another approached ne in a convenience store and asked for my number. When I declined, he started screaming in my face. He was there with a group of friends and they just stood there watching. it was mortifying and scary. The guy looked totally normal. So, now I take the safe road rather than the honest and forthright road- and give them a fake number.


I'm sorry to hear that, I'm very disappointed in our species some times...

But I have to ask where the hell are you when you encounter these people?

Also if any of my friends acted that way in front of me I'd not only put them in their place I'd stop being their friend. There is no excuse for that behavior...

But again its not a valid excuse in the context of online dating because they can do you no harm.

You need a better excuse than that in my opinion.
 logicalman1111
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 92
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 1:20:31 AM
You saw someone disappear in thin air and you are worried about them saying no thank you. Good god either she's a witch or you are a warlock. This needs to be reported to NASA, asap. Maybe the government already knows and haven't told us peasants yet. Also you probably heard about the woman that got beat up using an internet dating service here recently. Men do go postal, and apparently some women go postal as did miss Arias but thank you and no thank you after their bad experience was probably the last question considered. I am thinking that if you are trying to chat up a conversation at first sight of them, they probably see you as a player to begin with. Not that theres anything wrong with that, it's just my observation that you ought to consider that they at least took a chance on you to begin with and say thank you yourself.
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 93
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:06:28 AM
But I have to ask where the hell are you when you encounter these people?


First one was in the parking lot of a bar- guy had been lurking around my group all night trying to be invited to sit at our table.

Second one was in a convenience store. I have a couple more stories...

Nearly 30 years ago...friend of a friend, guy was always in the periphery of my group of friends. He asked me out, and I said no. He asked why, and instead of being polite, I said "You don't have a job or a car." Maybe I thought that was better than telling him he was a loser.

I will never forget his response. He jumped up and starting yelling: "I am a demigod, and you are just some be-yotch who thinks she's God's gift, well you're not! And someday when you're old and ugly, and nobody wants you, you will remember that you could have been with me."

He was partially right, I will always remember.

Last one- this one did not happen to me, but I witnessed it-also years ago.

Was at a house party with a live band. This drunk little weasel was wandering around hitting on one woman after another- and getting repeatedly rejected- all night. When the band took a break, he grabbed a microphone and shouted into it: "I don't need any of you women here..F*ck you! I got my woman right here." He then held up his hand and did jerking-off motions with it. He was thrown out, and I later heard he'd joined a religious cult, sold everything he owned and gave the money to the cult.


I'm sorry to hear that, I'm very disappointed in our species some times...


Well, in all of these particular cases, I think it had more to do with these people being wack-jobs than it did with them being guys.

In the case of online situations, I always respond and say "I'm sorry, I will have to decline, but best of luck to you." Most of the time, they reply back thanking me for letting them know I wasn't interested.
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 94
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:12:51 AM
I don't ask for numbers. I give them mine. That way there is no pressure. Women get hit on all the time, sometimes they want it, other times not. Anyway it seems to work well for me. Also you might ask yourself what type of woman are you looking at and where are you hanging out?
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 95
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:14:39 AM
What a loser!!! Nothing worse than begging.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 96
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:16:21 PM

We were about to ask you the same thing, since you go on and on about how you don;t approach strangers/men for dates. Kind of ironic you'd say this.


Maybe it seems ironic to you, barnabyjames1, because you’ve misunderstood. If you look a bit closer at my post, you’ll see I was responding to what I’ve conveniently quoted:


Whats the issue with just saying 'no thank you, i'm not interested'?


And what’s this “we” stuff? You have multiple personalities you speak for?

If you don’t like my posts, you can always scroll past them.


Hmm, wonder who might not like it?


Probably women who don’t appreciate being approached by strange men looking for a phone number.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 97
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:23:46 PM
I hear that Goddess (msg 51) That's EXACTLY what I also experienced. Thats why I adopted the no interest= no reply rule. It saves soooo much grief in the end and allows me to focus on men I find interesting.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 98
Why can't women just say no or no thank you?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:28:52 PM

I'm curious..what are the 'go away' i'm not interested 'hints'? Give me some examples.


When her husband or boyfriend shows up and he's bigger and meaner looking than you.
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