Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I would say that I do as another person on the planet, he fathered my children and I've been a member of his family for 23 years; it's a lot of collective history to completely obliterate. I can still appreciate the way we felt in the beginning and have moved way beyond resenting not living up to the marriage vows in terms of a partnership that was never really there.

I've wondered about this the last few days because his continuing deteriorating health and his unwillingness to change his lifestyle to prevent further health problems makes it likely that he could pass before my youngest is grown in five years. In addition to being 10 years my senior, I've always anticipated him not making that average male life expectancy. Apparently speeding up the timeline on that to within the next five years was hypothetically freaky for me. On the other hand I think most of my reaction to that was relative to what it means for the kids and in terms of taking care of them.

I think if there isn't a least some small part of you that loves an ex as a person if nothing else, that's pretty sad, particularly if you once believed your relationship strong enough to last a lifetime.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:22:59 PM
I will always remember him fondly, but in love? no way.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 37
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:32:46 PM
Of course I still have love in my heart for my ex-husband and former boyfriends. I refuse to hold a grudge; I think this only hurts the grudge-holder.

I have fond feelings for my ex-husband. We collaborate on parenting our daughter and help each other out. Together we celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's and Father's Day and all three birthdays as a little family of three.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/14/2013 6:28:49 PM
It's scary how many of you women stopped loving your exs. I don't know how many were total A holes, though. I am still in love with my ex and i never will stop. She is the most beautiful human being i ever met and i hope that she is still in love with me. I hurt her a few times, so she closed her heart off to me. I believe she is the love of my life, so maybe my situation is different. If i fall in love with someone i would hope a small part of me would always love them unless they betrayed or hurt me really bad.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 43
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:58:58 PM
Do I love her? Yep. Do I hate her? Yep.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/14/2013 10:39:28 PM
Agreed. Practice love and postivity.

Don't schcumb to the dark side of the force lol :)
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 46
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:05:32 PM

If we live in hatred indicates that we are not willing to or able to heal our own emotional pains.


Not able - that pretty much says it for me. On disability for depression and no end in sight. And by the way, even though I know that the message behind your words and that of the next poster was meant to be helpful and uplifting, I am so sick of being spoon fed the whole positivity crapola. Five damn therapists all shoveling the same manure.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:15:03 PM
9 months ago i wasn't even sure i wanted to live anymore. I turned my entire life around. I am still single, but i am happy. Attitude is everything. I was where you were at. You don't know my issues or what i was going through, but believe me sh*t was bad.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2013 2:13:45 AM
Every meaningful ex should have a little piece of your heart. Each one represents a time in your life and with whom you shared many great moments. One thing I don't do nor will I ever do is bash any of my ex's. It's just unseemly to talk ill of people who once occupied your life. Unless they really made it a living h-ll, but that has never happened to me. I respect my ex's and feel better if I know they're with good guys. ;)
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2013 3:55:13 AM
My exes meant the world to me at one time, but when the relationship ended, I made a conscious effort to let everything go. I see no point in trying to either reminisce on the good or hold a grudge over the bad. I much prefer to put everything into an imaginary space capsule and send it on a one way trip to Mars.


One thing I don't do nor will I ever do is bash any of my ex's.

Agree but probably for a slightly different reason. I've always considered whatever happened between me and my ex to be utterly private. Besides, who really cares anyway? There is no value in bashing an ex, but I also see no need to keep singing their praises either.


But just, is there a little place in your heart for them?

No there isn't, but I will treat them with dignity and human decency, just as I would with any stranger.
 LivvyH.
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 53
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2013 2:54:24 PM
Absolutely not. Hate with a burning passion, yes.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2013 11:17:25 PM
I believe that children create a bond and you will always have a place in your heart for your ex. There is history there. History creates bonds. If there is any chance at all, I would try to save or rekindle your marriage. If it is unhealthy though, you need to save yourself and also your kids, if that is possible.
 RussArtLover
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 61
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2013 11:56:43 PM
If you think you can stop loving your Mom or Dad ...or you pick the person you love the most in the world... then you probably never loved them in the first place. And were never loved by them. That deep a connection never dies, unless maybe you have brain damage. You can for sure love and be angry with the same person, even wish they were never born. But making a big DRAMA about it is just that; drama. And focusing on one drama for years and years is something else. Megalomania maybe? Anyway, I've never bought into romantic love. There's romance, passion, lust, excitement and all that jazz but love is just love. The deep end of the pool.
 Verissa2
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 63
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:53:00 PM
Yes. We had issues way back when, and it took a long time to get to be friends again. He was my bestfriend. Would I ever be with him again, no, but love him, yes very much.
 JayneDoe40
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 65
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:17:23 PM
my ex-husband? NO. NO. NO.

my ex-boyfriend? YES i am in love with him. no man can compete with him on any level for me at this time. (just saying it would be a foolish waste of time!)
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/17/2013 12:41:36 PM
Yes, she is the mother of my children. But, I personally do not like her because she always put me down in front of my daughters when they were growing up even though I supported my children until they were 21.

My ex is a control freak and a user that's why she is an "ex." For 6 long years, I put up with the all the emotional pain and anguish in a marriage. I truly wish her well in life and hope she is happy, but I haven't forgiven her in isolating me from my girls. I no longer contact her since my daughters are grown and I have nothing to say to her at this point in my life. I'm not angry at her anymore, but it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:02:22 PM
Yes. I still love them ALL.
 metty1966
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 1/20/2013 12:22:54 AM
It's a very difficult question to answer really depending on whether the divorce etc was amicable, whether anyone cheated and all sorts really. If i'm totally honest i do still to some extent love my ex wife cause she's the mother of my children and who i was married to for 20 years. I would never go back to her now though cause ive now moved on and ready to start again..

Also remember when your in search of your new partner youll be looking for a lot of the same qualities in a person similar to when you started dating your ex..

John
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 81
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:50:45 PM
You do not love your ex, you might think fondly of them but love requires action. You can't say you're in love with them either. Without action to back it up, I can't love any of my ex'es and neither can you. In some cases, I wouldn't even want to attempt it! People throw around that word, love, like it was just a feeling, it's not just a feeling. Stop, take the time to fully appreciate what love is and you'll realize that you don't love them and can't but please, take the time.
 sunshines99
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 84
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/2/2013 8:45:33 PM
DO I love him........no... do I care how he is doing yes.........he is the father to my 3 sons , we had some fantastic years together,you dream ,plan your life your future around him........and for reasons clear only to him he destroys those dreams...........so you pick up the pieces of whats left of your life and move forward.........making a new different life for yourself and your sons.........
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 86
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/2/2013 9:08:55 PM

I think when we really love someone it never really ends.


I don't agree with this. There can be events that destroys love-especially if it's fairy tale love that developed within a billionth of a second (love at first sight, instant chemistry with sparks and fireworks, etc.). Events like cheating or emotionally hurting his/her family can totally destroy all and any love. Many people fall in love with an image, and once the costume comes off of that image, we are left with a totally different person who does not live up to the fairy tale image of total perfection we envisioned in our mind.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 88
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:19:29 AM
Love? no...respect yes, he is the best dad my girls can ask for...
I would be with a man who said he loved his ex..even if they did have children together....
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 89
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:22:50 AM
I meant would not be with a man who loved his ex still..even if they did have kids
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 90
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:29:58 AM
No I don't still love my ex husband. I don't even see him as a friend just an aquaintance.
The strange thing is that even my 3 son's see him 'as an aquaintance'. The ex husband catches up with his son's every other week (Their ages are 25,28,30)...they play golf together and he visit's his grandchildren.
When the emotional arrow hit's any of my son's they come to me. When I suggest they talk thing's over with their father I get .....I can't talk to dad about thing's like this. That's pretty sad.
Would I remarry this man? Yes I would...When hell freezes over.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Do you still love your ex?
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:50:21 AM
I can say that I loved all my ex.’s and I always will! I believe real and true love is forever.

I am one of those people that just don’t give my heart to any man that comes along, but when I say I love you to someone I mean it! Even if the relationship is over doesn't mean I ever stopped loving them, I just didn't like them anymore, nor do I respect them. Neither would I attend their funeral.

Thanks for the post.
Jan
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >