Posted: 1/24/2013 5:15:24 PM
|I didn't read everyone Else's reply. In my opinion don't do that to yourself, I know right now it feels like you'll never find someone else but you will. in 12 years this guy will be but a distant memory and you think you would really want to leave your son who would be going to college? or even take him with you, from all the friends and/or girlfriend that he might have? I know its hard but its best for you to cut all contact, it will be easier that way, and you not talking to him might even make him reconsider and realize how much he cares about you. Continue to talk to him and you might just fool yourself into thinking that he might change and only continue to hurt you more and more. Just my thoughts I don't know the extent of everything that's happened. Hope this helps.|
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:57:03 AM
|Long distance relationships suck. Been there, done that. There is virtually no hope of a satisfying relationship. Time spent online and on the phone is fantasy. Only when there is face time, lots of face time does it enter the realm of reality. Let this fantasy go. Next time, concentrate on men within reasonable driving distance. Good luck!|
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:06:49 AM
|That's the lamest break up line ever.|
I usually say things like 'I feel your not happy', 'I feel this is what you want'.
i would like him to look me up in TWELVE years
...takes the cake
I suggest you just be honest and say you don't want to be with him anymore.
A five year old son doesn't cut it, because if you really wanted to be with him, you would.
Posted: 1/28/2013 8:23:40 AM
|Tell him to just come for a holiday and see. Maybe he needs to feel you to realize again that you are worth it and he should make the move.|
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:22:14 AM
|I think this is a great idea because it only takes about 12 years and six months to get a date on pof. You would be way ahead of schedule.|
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:50:58 PM
|I'm not a big believer in the strength of long distance relationships-and the two of you have an ocean between you. How could you possibly know each other well enough for either of you to pull up roots and move to a different country? None of my business and not what you asked, but there you go.|
As for the 12 year request..to put it bluntly, I think it's nuts.
Posted: 2/11/2013 7:18:44 PM
|I was dating a man when my girls were in junior high who broke up with me because he did not want to share any financial responsibility for my daughters. After my daughters graduated high school, he looked me up and told me how much he had missed me during those years, blah blah blah. There was no way I could ever care for a man who had the means to help us during some very tough years but elected to allow us to suffer and then wanted to come back into my life when I no longer needed him. Had the tables been reversed, I would have expected him to feel the same. When you love someone, you want to help them in every way possible. I know I would do anything for those I love and I can't love a man who was willing to throw away years that we could have shared. If I am not the most important person in his life, then I don't want to be in his life.|
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:36:34 PM
|I would be flattered if someone said that. Now for reality. As a grown man he gave you a piss poor reason for the break. If you meant that much and he knew all along your situation it was unfair and childishly selfish to carry on knowing he was never going to leave mommy and daddy and be a man. As hard as it maybe it is time to move on. You seem like a very nice person who deserves a man that would make the move or at least deal with sacrifices to be with you. 12 years from now if he is still single its only becase he is not mature enough to be in a committed relationship.|
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:52:46 PM
|Sorry, OP, I've been there too. Except we were opposite coasts of the US, not across an ocean. After a couple years he 'started' to move - actually got within a couple hundred miles before turning around and going home.|
Think of it in these terms and it may make more sense - he'd rather be with no one than with you.
So I vote with Irish71
If he wanted to be with you ,he would. he doesn't,so he won't_not now,not next year,not ever.-sorry
As far as your offer - it's crazy desperate. If I were that guy I wouldn't be able to run fast enough.
It may not be quick or easy but once you accept that he's never going to be part of your life, that's when you start getting over him. It has taken me almost a year. I wish you better fortune.