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 GangnamStyle1969
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 24
Does money matter so much?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
My sister has a science degree yet she's a stay home mom. She volunteer at least 20 hours per week at a school and the rest is looking after the kids and house work. Trust me it's not an easy job.
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 25
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:52:30 PM
Money matters. It is better to be rich and unhappy, than poor and unhappy... as you are finding out.
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 26
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 1/16/2013 6:33:41 PM
You want to use your uterus to ensure a lifetime of support from some poor unsuspecting working Joe.

You are a disgrace to women everywhere and I vote you off the island.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 27
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:22:07 AM
Your parents are taking care of you at 30, so you are not managing.

In my opinion, they are doing you a disservice by allowing you to remain a child forever.

Grown-ups date grown-ups. No man worth having is going to settle for a lazy child-woman.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 28
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:23:59 AM

needing help to get by in life, etc., he dismissed me as not acceptable

Well..Sorry, but that would be a deal breaker for me too.

You posted this

I don't mean this to sound like I want a man to come and fix all my financial crap,

Than

What happened to the tradition of the man taking care of his woman?

You don't mean to sound like you want a man to fix your financial crap? You sure sounds like that to me.


I'm struggling and need some help to make it in life.


I mean, of course I would like to make more money, and be fully independent, but I don't see how I can make that happen with no education and no money.

Try Sugardaddy.com.


You are a disgrace to women everywhere and I vote you off the island.

ROFL
She needs to bring her torch. The tribe has spoken.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 29
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/5/2016 7:08:10 PM

Does money matter so much?


Only if you want to buy something.


I want to know why and how did the amount of money someone makes become such a big deal in a relationship? I mean, of course I would like to make more money, and be fully independent, but I don't see how I can make that happen with no education and no money. All I want is to be a good wife and mom; is that really such a bad thing? What happened to the tradition of the man taking care of his woman? Why should I have to be making $30,000/yr or more just to be a dateable woman? Why do I need to have some great goal in life beyond raising a family? Isn't that a big enough goal? This just doesn't make sense to me. Yes, I'm poor, but I'm honest, loving, open minded, etc.; why does my cash flow matter so much? If you really want to have a relationship with me, money-or lack thereof-shouldn't make any difference.


I honestly just want to be loved for who I am, financial independence or no.


Nataly, is that you?
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 30
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/6/2016 12:42:17 AM

how did the amount of money someone makes become such a big deal in a relationship?


It has never been different. In the best cases, the woman has always contributed as much as the man and when she didn't there were problems. Always and for all time. Her contribution didn't have to be money (except when dowry was transferred between the rich.) Most often, it was a fair division of labor. He earned the money but she beat the rugs, cooked the meals, fed the chickens, gathered the firewood and practically everything else. In urban areas, the woman worked too. She took in washing and sewing or worked as a servant for someone else.

The tradition that you are talking about lasted from about 1940 to 1970. Before that women worked their butts off at home. After that they started working their butts off in the economy. Face it. You missed the golden age of female uselessness and sloth. Too bad.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/7/2016 8:21:18 AM
Ask the homeless dude if money would make his life better, and he'll probably look at you funny. But according to a poll, someone making over $62,000 per year tends to have enough money to be happy, and no more will help them buy more shiny new things to make them happier than they are. the big factor with money, however, is HOW you earn it and HOW you spend it. Its just a tool. Are you willing to work hard enough to get the tools you need? Do you use them wastefully? For example, a friend of mine's daughter has waited seven years to get a ring from her bf making $100K a year, and she wants daddy to cough up $50K for the wedding. He agrees b/c he always loves to be "The big man", but he's shot down every choice of venue she's wanted for her big day. Naturally, if she decided to pay for it herself, then it really could be her day, her way. But instead she's bummed out and thinking let's just do a 15 minute JP. Meanwhile her fiancé is working up the career ladder, going to be VP and won't have much of a wedding story to talk about.

sometimes, its not elitist to say, "yes, I earn a lot of money, and so I spend it for a better way to do the things in life." Other times, its alright to say, "I don't need a gold plated solution to every problem in life". The goal is to hopefully find a like minded individual to share a marriage with, since financial woes are supposedly the cause of a few divorces.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 32
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/8/2016 12:43:46 PM

But according to a poll, someone making over $62,000 per year tends to have enough money to be happy


My favorite comment about money comes from the old Superman tv show.

Jimmy Olsen made a comment about having a lot of money or wanting to be rich, and Lois Lane said, 'Money won't make you happy, Jimmy".

To which Jimmy responded, "Maybe not, Miss Lane, but it would sure make misery a lot more tolerable".
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/8/2016 3:15:59 PM
Anyone who's been both rich and poor and thinks a lot about life can see a lot of truth in that statement. I had wealthy friends try to tell me that being rich wasn't a piece of cake, that they had problems, too. I pointed out that their problems were a better class of problems--i'd rather worry about what stock to invest in than what loser friend to ditch. And what I had back then for problems, they had as inconveniences. For example, a flat tire for me was a problem--fix it myself, find a cheap replacement, etc. They called the car service, someone else got dirty, and they didn't have to go looking for a tire sale, they just paid hundreds of dollars for a replacement for their luxury car. Misery is more tolerable when you can afford the solution. then, its just an annoyance.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 34
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/9/2016 6:53:02 AM
you are 30 years old?
do you have health issues that impede your ability to work more ?
financial aid is available for low income students
have you thought about what it is you would like to do for a living?
why would someone want to be with someone
who cannot or will not take care of herself?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 35
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/16/2016 5:10:36 PM
^^^ I like you :) Too old to message you, hope you stick around. What on Earth is a human Centipede?
Appreciate the honesty. Too many of us ( read me) try to pretend money doesn't matter. But it does
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 36
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/17/2016 8:40:05 AM
The thing about money is...its a tool.

Do tools matter? Only if you want to fix things. If you don't wish to fix things, or wish to pay the "cost" incurred when other people fix them for you, then money doesn't mean so much to you.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 37
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/17/2016 9:10:03 AM
A tool? Not at all. Wish all the ppl who don't have any use for their money would send it to me. TIA
As an aside I have a oodles of plastic bags I am saving to barter with after the Clown rising.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 38
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:07:13 PM
Leowulf...

It's been almost four years.... what have you done in that time to changer your situation?
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 39
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/18/2016 12:48:58 PM
UMMM you sound almost like a 30 year old on here that has no ambition and likes to dress up in costumes.

Fix your situation to be more of a viable, dateable woman. Your ex does have a point, and i bet that he thinks you will even go so far as to "trap" a man.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 40
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/18/2016 3:35:14 PM
Of course money matters........looks matter......education matters.....everything matters, it's just a question of how much it matters. Money simply doesn't matter as MUCH to some people as it does to others.
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 11/2/2016
Msg: 41
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/18/2016 6:47:34 PM
Remaining debt free is quite a daunting challenge at times. Usually I have the savings to make the purchases I need, without being raked with loan payments. Being a minimalist I really don't "need" much. So for me its the income to debt ratio, and spending habits of a partner are more important than the money saved itself. Being financially responsible is a very attractive quality to me. Therefore the partners I find most interesting share my ideals, and place in life. Sometimes opposites don't attract.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/18/2016 9:30:38 PM
money is one of those interesting things, since people have such different opinions on it. I've known contractors etc who don't worry about having money, so long as they have credit. In other words, they deal with other peoples' money, so they don't worry about how liquid they may be. I've known rich people who didn't worry about money b/c they had so much, and I've known, well, much less rich people who didn't worry about money b/c..they needed "So little" of it b/c they lived frugally. A small apartment, a reliable car that wasn't flashy, and they had enough education to always get a job that paid their bills so they weren't worried about income stream. But then there would be others for whom money was always an issue, b/c they weren't interested in applying themselves enough to get what they needed to get buy...and sometimes they'd have champagne fantasies. I used to say the difference between "Cheap" and "Frugal" is the former wants it for free, the latter wants their money's worth. I figured that from a cheap bastid I met in college--full of dreams about meeting Donald Trump (when he was only a mogul) or Bill Gates and having a chance to make his big business proposal--yet the CB wouldn't eat anyplace more expensive than Micky D's. Uh, good luck ever bumping into a whale.

For some, money is just a tool for enjoying life. For others, money is a security blanket--they'll max out a credit card so that they can keep $100 cash in their wallet. Still others will see a great deal on something they want, a price they can afford, and still try to bargain down the price further. The last time I went in to buy a replaceable car part, I found the difference between the one that had a lifetime warrantee and the one that might last 20,000 miles was something like $10. I couldn't see NOT buying piece of mind for $10 more, but some people would rather save money and live in worry. When repairmen ask me how much I want to spend on a repair, I typically say, "i don't need it gold plated, but i'd rather not have to come back and see you again too soon, does that answer the question?"

I guess we approach money, in relation to how we earn it. and yes, that's a connection we hopefully have with our partner. Its one of the ways we live our life, so we hopefully have it in common. otherwise there's gonna be some nagging in the near future :)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 43
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/19/2016 4:08:21 AM

drug dealing, gun dealing, money laundering


The Woman of My Dreams!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 44
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/19/2016 6:58:17 PM
You are a single mother somewhat dependent on your parents. This is not the ideal demographic for dating. YOu have a child or children that a man coming along does not want to have to support. You seem to think that they should and that you are entitled.

I would also get rid of any shots not just of you. It is a dating site and probably the others in the pics didnt give permission to be spread on the internet. I would also put a few pounds extra as BBW will automatically cause men to click next......

 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 45
Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/19/2016 9:22:46 PM
As other posters said: it is no longer a one income economy. Your feelings of wanting to be a wife and mom are natural, most women want a family and resent the idea of paying a day care worker to raise their kids. But they have to accept, just like i had to, that its simply NOT reality anymore for the vast majority of the population in this system.

Your choices are:
1) get a career (which really is the best choice because marriage is no guarantee. Even if he can support you he could drop dead in a car accident and you are left with no income.)

2) lose weight and conform your body to the utmost conventional beauty standards in hope of snagging a wealthier guy to keep you home (and understand chances are he will replace you post kids since most men who care a great deal about looks burn through women like crazy always looking for hotter and younger)

3) work dead end jobs and struggle all your life. This is most likely what will happen to you so long as you do not go to school or work full time and make moves to grow your career.



 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 46
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/20/2016 9:17:25 AM
I often find myself in disagreement with BB, but her post just above is dead on. I believe she has summed this up in a nutshell.

What's sad is how many people do wind up taking option 3.

Messages this short may not be posted
Messages this short may not be posted
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 47
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/20/2016 9:37:53 AM
The OP started this thread almost 4 years ago and hasn't posted since. A little late to address her now.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 48
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Does money matter so much?
Posted: 11/21/2016 1:20:10 PM

I was approached by my (only) ex about possibly trying again, but once he found out that I was still making so little money, needing help to get by in life, etc., he dismissed me as not acceptable. I want to know why and how did the amount of money someone makes become such a big deal in a relationship?

Because the concept of Working & being able to At Least hold your own means something in a Relationship. You two already had one -- and he was pointing out the reason. Why go again, if a central issue was still there, ya know? I'm pretty sure in your situation, he wasn't expecting you to be some big career woman -- but instead, wanting you to be someone who isn't Dependent on a BF financially as part of your individuality. I think a guy would be willing to date a gal who isn't making it by so well -- but after Dating for a while he finds out That's the way she likes it, and it's not merely some temporary down period in her life -- he'll be turned off.

Your choices are:
1) get a career (which really is the best choice because marriage is no guarantee. Even if he can support you he could drop dead in a car accident and you are left with no income.)

Or "merely" a stable work record, with or without an Associates Degree (although the latter is probably the best option)... where you'll at least be able to support yourself consistently, even if living paycheck to paycheck if not being a real frugal person. Guys in the dating field in general don't ask for much -- just "Hey, you can hold your own."

2) lose weight and conform your body to the utmost conventional beauty standards in hope of snagging a wealthier guy to keep you home (and understand chances are he will replace you post kids since most men who care a great deal about looks burn through women like crazy always looking for hotter and younger)

Yeah, but a gal's options will still be limited. And getting to the point of getting a truly Wealthy guy -- many women can't do that by getting in good shape while expecting to never work to support themselves... unless they go really Low on looks of said Wealthy (much older) guy.... or more realistically a guy with a great paying job but certainly not Wealthy, but she becomes out of his league because he's sub-par on the looks.

IMO, I would say a gal with her mindset needs to come back to post WWII reality: There's no entitlement or value in the tradition of women being labeled as not having to support herself. It should be a value to herself as a human being to be able to. And with that said, strive to accomplish both #1 and #2 with some accomplishment -- and things will work out just great. But the main thing is the Entitlement mentality, which will turn too many guys off that she'd take a liking to.
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