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 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 26
Question for Ladies 50+Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
am not looking for more BS, just a nice man who knows who he is, want he wants and will treat me as I treat him. Of those 25 guys you are talking about most are fake profiles, players, married men, angry men and sad sacks.. it really evens out to about 1 on 1. lol


I totally agree with you...Its like your living my life lol
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 27
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:06:14 PM

For me, dating is very simple. Finding someone I am interested in dating, is much harder.


+1


Lets face it , nice guys can't lay the BS on as good as the not so nice guys do.

Dude...women over 50 can spot the BS faster than a speeding bullet because we've heard it all before, and usually fell for it back in the day. Don't use that tired excuse. We want the guys who are self-confident without being arrogant, who respect the fact that we have brains, and who tell us the truth - not the whiners whose only game is blame.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 28
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:08:14 PM
Venusenvy777: I think there are many nice women on this site, I am sure there are some goofballs as well, but for those of us, honestly looking to find someone who is educated, kind, not bitter or selfish or angry or addicted and most of all not a pretty boy seeking to add notches to his pathetic belt, Its truly a whole lot of work finding even one man to go out with let alone dozens as some of the men on here think we are. i find it difficult reading some of the pathetic emails I receive when the man can't spell (its not typo's) and would not be able to fit into my world, then gets angry when I say I am not interested. I sometimes wonder what kind of magic mirror some of these men are looking into. Lets face it, some should just know if they have a huge ketchup stain on their wife beater shirt, or are flexing their completely tattooed body, I am not going to race out the door to meet them. How about you?
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 29
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:08:30 PM
My approach to dating is the same as in my 20's but wiser. Because I know myself better, I am more clear about what I want in a relationship.

My requirements for a lover/companion in my 20's:

1. Is he highly intelligent with a great sense of humor?
2. Can he carry a backpack up a steep trail without whining or complaining?
3. Can he cook over a campfire?
4. Does he treat me with respect and kindness?
5. Will he refrain from physically hurting me?

Grab your backpack and LET'S GO!

Now in my 50's I'm still a passionate hiker. One through five are the same. Add:

6. Do we enjoy each other's company? Companionship is very important.
7. Is he physically fit?
8. Do we have the same relationship goals and share the same values?
9. Is he understanding and supportive?
10. Are we sexually compatible?
11. Do we have fun together?

As I get older, it's much harder to find hiking partners who want to backpack to high alpine meadows and peaks, camping overnight. So I tremendously value a hiking partner.

"Let's start as hiking partners and friends," I say. "If our relationship develops into more, that's great. If not we can still hike together." We quickly learn about each other as we confront obstacles on the trail and challenge ourselves physically.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 30
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:13:53 PM
I know a guy who is a trucker--but he works for a local company--been there 30 years --home every night and wisely invested--he has over a million in savings--he told me he when he meets a woman and they ask what he does and when he tells them they all back away from him--


See, there you go. Knee-jerk reactions to pass on a guy because of pre-conceived notions about "truckers".
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 31
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 7:18:53 PM
My approach to dating was the shotgun approach. After dating only one man at a time, and taking myself out of circulation for weeks or even months---only to have the relationship go belly up, I decided I would try the same approach to dating that worked for me back in college. I started casually dating more than one man at a time---until one stuck.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 32
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:43:23 AM
ditto,
i find most woman i have meet want a male that can tick all the boxes and there are a lot!
but it doesnt work the other way around, they dont like to think that they have to meet up to your standards..lol.
feels more like job interview.
love at first sight.
nice home.
great job/car.
just dont talk about over weight woman, in this age its a few extra pounds..... lol .... right.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 33
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:44:00 AM
Actually seafoodandeatit , In this new age, average is now what a few extra pounds used to be.Think the new thin is what average used to be.
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 34
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:11:47 AM
Thank God! cause I can't seem get this junk outta my trunk.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 35
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 11:23:49 AM

What I require of you, is that you get up in them woods.

OMG.....lol


Men aren't having to "court" any more or as much as they did when younger.
It just seems like SUCH an effort to many of them now.

SAD

A great relationship, even a good one with someone that is fun and trustworthy AND sexy..good as regular vittles on a 50 dollar dinner plate.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 36
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 3:42:19 PM
Sure I got a hundred messages but only a couple were unique and customized to me. I responded to the messages in which the men read my profile and made an effort to 'court me' with words. I met only one man and it was magic.

If a man shows some imagination and style in his initial message, he's more likely to continue with it when meeting and dating.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 37
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:26:09 PM

i find most woman i have meet want a male that can tick all the boxes and there are a lot! but it doesnt work the other way around, they dont like to think that they have to meet up to your standards..lol.


And what would those be….? A cold beer and a blow job?


Men aren't having to "court" any more or as much as they did when younger.
It just seems like SUCH an effort to many of them now.

SAD


I’ve found that younger men seem to really enjoy courting, and they do it very well.
 scb19a
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 38
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/18/2013 6:45:03 AM
great response! I am so tired of the "Mr Fix It" (not the handyman) role in a relationship. If I get a whiff of financial insecurity I let them know I am not out to "save" anyone. I want someone that wants to be with me, not someone that wants to be taken care of.
 scb19a
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 39
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/18/2013 6:47:04 AM
that's funny right there (because it is so true).
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 40
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/19/2013 7:15:06 AM
"ketchup stain on their wife beater!!"OMG that was funny!!If I didnt like MEN so much Id love to be with a funny woman LOL..we know each other well...sisterhood indeed!!I enjoy being courted and Im 50+ lol I enjoy a real man's attention..one who isnt full of himself,self-assured and looking for the same things I am..excellent personal grooming habits are a must LoL.........NO stains,dirty nails!!!,or long hair....its so simple..so why is it so difficult..happy fishing!!
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 41
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/19/2013 8:37:49 AM




And what would those be….? A cold beer and a blow job?


Low maintenance here.. I don't drink beer... I'll take 2 of the other as a substitute instead if that's an option, if not, one is fine.



I’ve found that younger men seem to really enjoy courting, and they do it very well.


They'll be even better at it when they are my age ;-)


OT:

I really don't think what 50+ ladies (or younger for that matter) are looking for is a mystery. Just like everyone else, they want someone that has got their act together, they are attracted to, compatible, and free of "quirks" such as losing a nut over treating someone to a cup of coffee, having a membership at Club Fed, being "artificially" single, having to braid their nose hair, having a tendency to blame others, particularly the opposite sex, for their screw ups and other such "little" things.

For the record, I am not saying you have any of those quirks.

Just with attraction and compatibility it's already difficult. The remainder, which is quite reasonable, just adds to the difficulty.

If there is one thing the 50+ crowd has learned is to ask the "tough" questions early. Mostly because we've learned which questions we _should have asked_ when we were younger but didn't.

 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 42
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/19/2013 8:42:36 AM
What do women over 50 expect? It depends on the woman. We are individuals, there is no "one size fits all."

For me, it is about the romance, courting, respect, faithfulness and kindness. In the six years since filing for divorce, the two men I have had serious relationships with longer than 2 years with were men who could carry on a conversation about topics other than cars or sports, they were well groomed, polite, laughed often, had a lot of interests/friends other than work. and they went to church on Sunday. Both would sing to me in the car or show up with flowers for no particular reason. They remembered holidays/birthdays/special occasions, and they knew how to court and woo my affections before attempting to jump my bones...in fact they waited for me make the first move. Both were marriage minded and proposed, although I came to find out the reason the first was good at romance was because he charmed women out of their money. Not wanting to support a golddigger here, so that engagement ended. The second man also proposed but then had some serious personal setbacks with health/financial issues that needed to be resolved before entering into an engagement We took a six month break while he took care of business, but are now back together and it is going well. If it continues, we will probably be married.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 43
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/20/2013 10:29:36 PM
Lucky you, Phoenix. I don't think I've ever met three men in my entire life that I would have wanted to marry!
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 44
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 12:50:08 AM
Although they want sex, most of the men I've met are unable to sustain a loving, positive relationship. Online dating has me stumbling over the wreckage and detritus of divorce.

I don't believe in "love at first sight." This is a myth. "Love at first sight" is simply lust.

I'm looking for love. I hope to find a fit, athletic and intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with love, respect and kindness. When in a committed relationship, I am passionate. I miss the snuggling, intimacy, conversation, teamwork and FUN of a committed, loving relationship.

Before meeting, I screen men with a few key questions over the phone:

1. How long have your been single? (I think people are clinically insane for a year after their divorce.)
2. Have you had a serious relationship since your divorce? (I'm not willing to be a rebound girlfriend.)
3. What are you looking for in a relationship? (This is an important question.)

No answer IS an answer. "I don't know what I want in a relationship" shows me he is: a) not well thought out; and 2) floundering emotionally and mentally. No thank you.

When I meet a good man who seems truly interested in me as a person (as opposed to a sex object), with whom I enjoy conversation and laughter, who is excited about hiking together:

I give it 3-6 dates, even more. Most people can hold it together for the first date. Serious problems and issues tend to surface by date 3. I have figured out what they REALLY want in a relationship. Passionate hikers get more time because I tremendously value hiking partners.

Courting? Dinners, walks, flowers, live music, hiking... romantic activities I love? Yes. Let's court each other.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 45
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 3:34:19 AM
swtcorlinej: LOL its true. I have been called a spoiled princess and many other things for just telling it like it is. A man would be called honest for speaking the truth, a woman the B word. I think we all have a right to our own opinions and we like what we like. Yes courting and romance are important, they tell me if a man is willing to do the work to maintain a relationship over the long haul. Am perfect? Oh hell no... I have dozens of flaws. However, I do know who I am and what I want. its not being a B word to not be willing to accept less than I give in a relationship. Its is not being the B word to want someone who is over his past, accepts his own blame in the demise of any relationship and wants to do the work it takes to have a LTR. I don't wear stained clothes, shower more than daily and why don't I have the right to say I want the same in a mate?
Am I looking for Mr. perfect? Oh hell no. I don't want Mr. "I am so full of myself". I dont need a man who needs his ego constantly stroked. I am not a drunk and don't want to date one. I am not a gym rat who is overly focused on external body perfection and don't want a man like that. I realize at 50 we are way more than our looks. ( I do take care of myself and have been told look way younger) however, this is not what I seek. If men want to call me a princess because I am a lady which means I do expect the car door to be opened for me, and treated with respect, so be it. If a man wants to call me a prude because I don't jump into bed with men I am dating.. so be it. I dont want a man who does not know that making love and sex are two different things and a prude, lol, just because I women respects herself does not mean she is a prude. A man who thinks that way will never know the best "sex" is with someone you trust and love.. every thing else is just sex.
So call me a princess or a prude, I do not care. I will only date and have a relationship with someone capable of giving me exactly what I give him.
 jarlanbah
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 46
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 4:00:08 AM
The biggest break up of australian marriages is sexual dysfunction. Sex is one of the major issues. Does the man have the size penis do they know how to touch you the right way. Then what are there assets do they own a house at this age you wouldn't want to lose half your assets. Love is just bonding it's nothing magical if you have intercourse every day you will fall in love.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 47
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:57:11 AM
You women live in a bubble. Literate conducts an interview before she will date, and many of you still have these ridiculous demands and expectations. No wonder so many of you can't find or keep a good relationship going. So many of you are clueless about how you appear to us, aren't you. Many of you will never be in a relationship again because of it.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:01:14 AM
Well you certainly are not speaking about me.. I am with someone and only here on forums.. what works for some of us does not work for others and that is okay with me. I will continue in my bubble as it works for both me and my partner.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 49
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:58:47 AM

You women live in a bubble. Literate conducts an interview before she will date, and many of you still have these ridiculous demands and expectations. No wonder so many of you can't find or keep a good relationship going. So many of you are clueless about how you appear to us, aren't you. Many of you will never be in a relationship again because of it.


We “still” have demands and expectations?! Personally, my demands and expectations are more stringent now than they ever have been in my life. If I had demanded more and expected better when I was younger, I wouldn’t have married the puke I ended up divorcing.

I find it baffling that you think a woman who lowers her expectations and settles for what she doesn’t want will suddenly have a “good relationship” worth keeping. That makes absolutely NO sense.

I’m also surprised some men “still” try using lame scare tactics and threats like, “do it the way we want or be alone forever!!!!!!”
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 50
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:18:11 AM
If I had demanded more and expected better when I was younger, I wouldn’t have married the puke I ended up divorcing.


Wow, could anybody be more bitter than referring to a former husband as a "puke". Whose fault is it that you were blind and married a guy you did not know you were marrying. I don't understand how people marry other people and then realize they don't know the person they married? The one and only reason to marry another person is because that person becomes part of you, and they can't become part of you unless you know them inside and out. So its not a question of demanding more or expectations. Its a question of being blind and dumb about what you are doing when you choose to marry. Again, its a woman thing. You all marry guys for the wrong reasons. . what was your reason? Was he a football star and you liked how you looked on his arm? Was he wealthy or well on his way to being so? It likely wasn't that you married a guy who did not meet your expectations, but you married a guy WHO DID, and you found out too late that wasn't enough.

I suspect you got exactly what you bargained for, but only after the fact did you not like the bargain. Your fault, not his.
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