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 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 51
Question for Ladies 50+Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
message #18

When you first start talking with your gentleman callers gently ask " do you take any kind of blood pressure pills"? If they give you a list of scripts ... run and don't look back. Chances are the guy won't be able to get an erection.
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 52
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:40:45 AM
#48

Did you really say that. You got to be on medication for something. Don't come to the States you wouldn't survive in this jungle.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 53
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:13:24 AM

You women live in a bubble. Literate conducts an interview before she will date, and many of you still have these ridiculous demands and expectations. No wonder so many of you can't find or keep a good relationship going. So many of you are clueless about how you appear to us, aren't you. Many of you will never be in a relationship again because of it.


A lot of men and women who have the experience of past relationships and learn from them don't see it as being demanding or setting expectations. Matter of fact, the use of those terms, to me, indicates someone who hasn't evolved to the point where they know what's healthy in a relationship, they know who is compatible with them, and they seek like people.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 54
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:52:22 AM

Literate conducts an interview before she will date,


A telephone conversation (or three:) -- in a polite manner of mutual sharing for the purpose of sensing whether/not there is mutual interest in taking the next step and meeting in person --- sounds just fine to me. It saves both people the time, energy, possible expense, and potential discomfort of a "zero potential" reality within seconds after either/ both meet in person.


and many of you still have these ridiculous demands and expectations.


What "demands and expectations" do you consider to be "ridiculous"? Sincerely interested in knowing.


So many of you are clueless about how you appear to us, aren't you. Many of you will never be in a relationship again because of it.


Sadly, truly, and hopelessly ---------- because few of us 45+ are willing to take a long hard look in a full view mirror from every possible angle both naked and clothed --------------- I'm beginning to think that the above may well be spot on truth. As evidenced by the numberr of 45+ adults on this site who consider their morbidly obese bodies to be "a few pounds overweight" and/or "athletic" in appearance. Not to mention the vast majority of 45+ profiles containing the phrase, "I look much younger than my age."

And perhaps our inability to face the plain simple truth --- we are indeed 45+ ---- will see many of us growing old. Alone.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 55
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 12:02:03 PM

….bitter ….blind…..dumb


Ho hum. You’re so predictable. When you get called on your weak threats; drag out the name calling. That’s meaningless to me.

Besides that you’re flip flopping and contradicting yourself. First you say women have ridiculous demands and expectations, then you say I should have chosen better….which I already said in refuting your original argument!

Just give it up. You’re no good at this.
 clc1952
Joined: 12/27/2012
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 12:59:57 PM
Can I put my two cents in ... All women say they want a nice guy and I beleave that. What they do not want is a NICE guy that is not sure of himself, insecure, lonely and nice. For some reason a lot of men that are nice have this problem. They want a guy that is sure of himself, confident,strong,loves his life, good morals and NICE. I really do not want to say this but I am anyway. Seceret they do not want you to know. I do not know why because its not bad. Women want you to give them guidance when in a relationship. Be careful because it needs to be from the heart and not because your the boss of the relationship. Just sayin Charlie
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 57
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 1:48:06 PM
Fleuron, I simply expressed amusement that a woman could refer to a guy she married as a "puke". If that is true, that show's that woman has a seriously defective guy picker. Therefore the blame lies with the woman and not the guy. Obviously your expectations and demands from the guy you wanted to marry were skewed. How else could you have been so wrong about him that you now refer to him as a "puke". But I am not trying to single you out. You have lots of company among your ilk.

Come on Ready, many of the demands from women on this board portray them as narcissists. There is no perfection out there. For success one needs from their partner only chemistry and a joinder of their hearts. You can't limit your choices to certain requirements and then decide only these people will be good enough to fall in love with. You may be able to choose who you date, but you can't choose who you love. Lots of the divorced women here failed miserably in their original choices, how else could a woman call a former husband a "puke". That show she was a miserable failure in choosing her mate, and the way I see it based on how many here portray themselves, they will fail again. That's why I have said that women are their own worst enemies and why I have said that many women are NEVER going to find what they are looking for. They will make the same mistakes over and over and over. But hey, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, right? I mean the criteria people use or demand of others . . .keeping score on who pays for dates, needs to be a great cook and love hiking . . . and on and on and on. This board is more comedy than anything else.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 58
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 1:56:39 PM

Come on Ready, many of the demands from women on this board portray them as narcissists. There is no perfection out there.


Now, "Time. . . " methinks thou dost dodge the question. Of course some demands ------- by both members of this 45+ pond would be considered by most reasonable persons to be "unreasonable". For examples:
--- the smoker who will only date non-smokers;
---a "separated" person who demands that any prospective mate be divorced;
--a morbidly obese guy (or gal)whose profile reads, "Sorry: if you are a BBW don't contact me because to be honest, I am not attracted to BBW's".

My question was sincere, and I've just listed a few examples IMO which constitute "unreasonable demands" at this --- or at any age. So back at you: what sorts of "expectations" do you consider to be "unreasonable demands"?
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 59
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 4:42:35 PM
Although, I will say I just loved to be romanced. But I have a romantic heart!
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 60
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:40:20 PM
What "demands and expectations" do you consider to be "ridiculous"? Sincerely interested in knowing


OK, I can give you a specific one.
I haven't seen her profile pop up in my searches for a while, (perhaps she found someone or just gave up) but there was a woman on here in my area (Southern California) who was in her 40's whose FIRST line of her About Me section read:

MUST BE AT LEAST 6 FEET TALL (AND NO, 5' 11" AND A HALF IS NOT 6 FEET TALL! )

Yes, all capitalized like that. Shouting it out. Now, if a guy came along who was perfect in every other way for her, and was 5' 11" and a 1/2, and she passed him up over that 1/2 inch, yes, I would consider that a ridiculous demand and expectation. To base happiness and fulfillment on a 1/2" of skin and bone over all the other qualities is at least a tad overboard.

And if she didn't really mean it, then putting it in capital letters as the first line of her About Me section was not particularly necessary.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 61
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:52:00 PM
^^^^^ makes you wonder if she is going to get you to take off your shoes and line you up on a wall with a line that says must be this tall to date me. I wonder if my height hanging upside down from my feet would get me over the "magical" 6 ft mark!

Another ridiculous specification for men over 50 is must have a full head of hair. That is probably about as rare in men over 50 as having no visible cellulite is for women over 50.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 62
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:52:47 PM
You found one woman in California that said something stupid in her profile so all of the rest of us are narcissistic? Now I am confused
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 63
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:59:04 PM
You found one woman in California that said something stupid in her profile so all of the rest of us are narcissistic?


Ah, no.
Reading comprehension.
I was not the one who said anything about anyone being "narcissistic".

I simply offered a specific example of something ReadyReal had requested from timeforall.

Hope that clears up your confusion.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 64
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:35:27 PM
While I was dating I usually knew at the first meet that there wouldn't be a first date. There were a few which I gave the benefit of doubt and went on a first date. A handful made it to a few dates/few weeks. With my fiance I knew within the first month that he was someone special, but still took my time. I can honestly say, on my part it was "really like" at first sight, which grew to "love" as I gradually started seeing his great character and heart.He's a true gentleman. He stole my heart with his intelligence, genuine kindness, and his determination for what's important to him.

Of course I want courting and romance. If I don't have that from the man I love who am I going to have that with? We've been together over 2 years and we're still courting each other and being romantic with each other.

I have many great pals and friends, but I have only one intimate partner in my life as does he.

I've seen a few 80+ year old couples walking hand in hand, and I pray we're blessed enough to be one of those couples some day!
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 65
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:15:11 AM
Ready, the only demands that ARE NOT unreasonable are those characteristics which a woman finds unattractive in a man such that it will destroy the possible chemistry between them. If she knows she will not be attracted to obese men, then it should be a deal breaker that a man is obese. If she requires intelligence and education, well that is important for compatibility, but most of the demands shown on these threads are evidence of pettiness, ignorance, arrogance and quite frankly are evidence that the woman herself oftentimes suffers from some serious issues. Its no skin off my nose of course. I think all of these ridiculous demands make it easy for quality guys to bypass those women who have shown they have issues, so quality guys need not waste their time.

I think what all of these ridiculous demands (must not have minor children at home, must know how to cook, must have been divorced for at least three years, and on and on and on) show about the women who make them is that these women do not understand or care about love, they only care about themselves and what the guy brings to the table to make their life easier or better (which is why I call them narcissists). These are probably women who never loved a man in their lives, never married for love, ended up miserable, finally after years of depression divorced their husbands, and are back to making the same mistakes by dictating to themselves the types of guys they are willing to date. That's not how nature works. The guy they reject because he has a minor child at home or because he lives 100 miles away instead of only 50, may be that one man in a million perfect for them. But they will never meet him, because they will be too busy checking off the boxes about whether the guy is good enough for them. Or if they do meet him, they will reject him because he does not meet their qualifications, Instead they will hook up with the guy who is wrong for them and the cycle starts all over again.

Really, read the posts from Flerion (whatever her name) to me above. She calls her ex husband a "puke". How does something like that happen? How does a woman marry a guy who is so wrong for her that she considers him a "puke"? This is an example of a woman who never made any attempt to know the guy she was marrying. Instead I have no doubt he brought a number of qualifications to the table that satisfied her, met her check list, and so she married him. And then she blames HIM for her mistakes. Meanwhile, I would not be surprised if she rejected the guy who would have been perfect for her, maybe because her friends didn't like him, another silly requirement..

That's how I see women, young and old. They make decisions for all the wrong reasons, they are miserable because of it, and then they blame the guy instead of placing the blame squarely where it belongs . . on themselves. And they need to remember when they marry these guys for all of the wrong reasons, that they are destroying not only their own lives, but the lives of the guys too, who deserved much better than what she brought to the table.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 66
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:37:34 AM

Another ridiculous specification for men over 50 is must have a full head of hair. That is probably about as rare in men over 50 as having no visible cellulite is for women over 50.


I agree that having a specification for a full head of hair sounds ridiculous. Is that common? Actually, a man with a full head of hair over 50 is really not that hard to find. It does tend to be rarer in a man over 60, though.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:43:11 AM
I dont know about that.. I have dated quite a few men with a full head of hair over 50.. I guess they have good genes, lol
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 68
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:58:29 AM
^^^^ I guess it all depends on what you consider to be a full head of hair. I define it as no recession at the temples and no helipad at the back and much more hair than scalp showing when you have it cut short. By this definition I have not had a full head of hair since I was in my late 20's. From what I see maybe one is 20 guys over 50 have what I would call a full head of hair the rest are thinning, balding, receading or bald... then again I see a few women over 50 with what I would call thinning hair as well.

But yes there are probably more men with a full head of hair than there are women over 50 with no visible cellulite. My point it that a thinning hair is an inevitable part of aging for most men as cellulite or a variety of other things are for women.

I guess I am under the impression that women over 50 on these sites are more picky about this particular sign of aging in men than men are about a few of the tell tale signs of aging in women.

If a full head of hair and being over 6 ft tall is the most important thing for a woman over 50 she would be best to seek out much younger men - the under 30 crowd tend to be taller and have not started losing thier hair yet - she might find however find that men with these characteristics are not very accepting of her signs of aging.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 69
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 9:28:24 AM

Ready, the only demands that ARE NOT unreasonable are those characteristics which a woman finds unattractive in a man such that it will destroy the possible chemistry between them. If she knows she will not be attracted to obese men, then it should be a deal breaker that a man is obese.


Hey, "Time. . . ",

So r u saying (indirectly) that it is NOT unreasonable for a 45+ wo/man who --- like the majority of us 45+ adults --- places a huge priority on health & wellness and makes a daily commitment to maintaining the best possible state of health & wellness of which s/he is capable to "demand" the same from any prospective mate?

If so, we're on the same page here (literally & figuratively).

IMO an "unreasonable demand" happens when a morbidly obese person expects a prospective mate to be actively living a lifestyle of physical wellness and will categorically reject any BBW's attempting to contact him/her.

In other words, too many of us 45+ "adults" are talking a heck of a lot of talk. But in glaring contrast to the fact that we ourselves are not walking the walk. And clearly cannot reciprocate in kind the very "demands" we are making. In this regard, the puerile? self-deluded? blissfully oblivious? mindsets of these 45+ adults turning blind eyes to what they themselves have (or have NOT) to offer a prospective mate, is astonishing. And I agree: it is the #1 reason why so many of us are still here, still missing out on all the joys and passions of being 45+ (including physical intimacy and lots of it!!), and ever-increasingly likely to be alone for the rest of our lives. . .

Anyway: that's JMO! And if some of the 55+ men would be willing to date more of the women their own age, they might just rethink their decade/s younger age cutoffs. And if some of the morbidly obese women would take a more careful look at their high blood pressure, mobility, and diabetic health challenges, maybe they might just rethink their proclaiming that their hugely at risk bodies are anything but "beautiful". And if even half of the 90% of 45+ profiles would read, "I look my age" instead of proclaiming, "I look much younger than my age and want a youthful looking wo/man". And if some divorced persons would stop assuming that all widow/ers have built shrines to their deceased spouses, maybe they'd meet a widow/er who has been loved, knows how to give and receive love, and would be thrilled to love again.

If. If. If. Ah well. As my mum used to say, "If stands stiff in the corner." (as in dead alone)!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 70
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 9:52:43 AM
I think what all of these ridiculous demands (must not have minor children at home


Okay, while I'll concede that some demands are ridiculous ( e.g. must have full head of hair), the issue of minor children at home is not one of them---at least not for me.

A man with minor children is a package deal. To get involved with such a man, a woman must not only deal with his children, but an ex as well. That's a lot to expect a woman to take on---especially one over 50.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 71
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:55:05 AM

Really, read the posts from Flerion (whatever her name) to me above. She calls her ex husband a "puke". How does something like that happen? How does a woman marry a guy who is so wrong for her that she considers him a "puke"? This is an example of a woman who never made any attempt to know the guy she was marrying.


Wrong.

Actually, calling him a “puke” is being kind.


Instead I have no doubt he brought a number of qualifications to the table that satisfied her, met her check list, and so she married him. And then she blames HIM for her mistakes.


I married him because I loved him. I have no problem whatsoever accepting my share of responsibility for the failure of my marriage.

I never blamed him for anything.

My original post on here was saying that I should have demanded more and expected better when I was younger, when being accused of having “ridiculous” demands and expectations. Jeez….learn how to follow a thread.


Meanwhile, I would not be surprised if she rejected the guy who would have been perfect for her, maybe because her friends didn't like him, another silly requirement..


Really….quit trying to speak for me. I am quite capable of speaking for myself.
And you suck at it.

I am not “miserable” and my life is hardly “destroyed.” And you have no idea what I have to “bring to the table,” and never will.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 72
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 2:10:27 PM


@timeforall


You sure make a big deal out of nothing.

If my X called me a "puke", I'd consider it an invitation to reconclile.



That's how I see women, young and old. They make decisions for all the wrong reasons, they are miserable because of it, and then they blame the guy instead of placing the blame squarely where it belongs . . on themselves.


It would be totally unreasonable of any woman, young or old, to pass up a quality guy with such a viewpoint. Is one of your Xs responsible for such viewpoint or is that a conclusion you reached by yourself ?



And they need to remember when they marry these guys for all of the wrong reasons, that they are destroying not only their own lives, but the lives of the guys too, who deserved much better than what she brought to the table.


I have a feeling they'll remember.


There is nothing unreasonable in an individual, man or woman, to not want someone that is obviously very bitter towards their gender.

 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 73
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 2:47:17 PM
Dino 57, You poor misguided man. I have a full head of hair, its long and not thinning.. as for cellulite, again.. not an ounce anywhere. During my time of openly dating, i did meet several men (5) to be exact, whom I dated who were all over 50 and all blessed with a full head of hair, and two of them had very little gray of which without Clariol, I would not be able to say the same. Although I do not keep my picture up now, as I am no longer dating, I assure you there are many other women like me, in fact all of my female friends are nicely built, no visible cellulite even in swim suit (since we all still go to the pool together). So its hardly unreasonable for women with hair and no cellulite over the age of 50 to seek men who like themselves, have these qualities. Would I date a bald man? I hope to never have to answer that question.. smiles, that was for my man.
 fitnessfreakfrance
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 3:01:40 PM
I completely agree with everything you said. We don't appear to be asking for the moon nor expecting to force compromise without offering many more ourselves. Just to find someone who I can love and who can love me. Not complicated but seemingly almost impossible !!
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 75
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/22/2013 3:02:11 PM
No, its not unreasonable at all Ready. Biologically, we are all attracted to partners who are healthy as opposed to non-healthy. Anything that detracts from Health, including smoking, obesity, excessive drug or alcohol use is a valid reason to reject somebody out of hand as is anything that detracts from physical beauty. These are inherent biological impediments to attraction. We all have to be attracted to the other individual after all. Unreasonable though is all of the other stuff you find all over these boards . . like that long thread that went on and on about dating or not dating a widow. What completely ridiculous reasons people have for not dating other people. As for older guys dating much younger women, decades younger than them, I don't know how often these guys have successful relationships, but I suspect not very often. The only older guys I know who are successfully dating much younger women than themselves are generally good looking for their age and also have lots of money. On the other hand, it is the very, very rare older woman I see dating a much younger guy successfully. In fact, I can't think of anybody right now. Demi Moore came to mind, but of course she was dumped last year. That's why I laugh at so many of the women here who list requirements in their profiles of guys their age or much younger. They ain't going to be getting much younger guys . . except for sex. And if that's all they want from a guy, they are low quality anyway, not worthy of our time. I suppose if you are having trouble finding fit and healthy looking guys your age, its because at 60 or so, there probably are not a whole lot of them out there, and most of those are probably married or already involved.



Okay, while I'll concede that some demands are ridiculous ( e.g. must have full head of hair), the issue of minor children at home is not one of them---at least not for me


This might be a legitimate preference, but never a reasonable requirement or deal breaker. The great love of your life could be out there ready to meet you but for the fact he has a minor child or 2 at home. As hard as it is to meet people we might actually fall in love with, you going to allow this to stop you? IMHO, that qualifies as ridiculous.

Just Lookin, I read your post twice and still can't figure out what you are trying to say. Sorry.

Sweetness, I always take personal responsibility for my faults. Not sure what that has to do with anything or how that is germane to the topic.

CharliesMom, I live in Florida and see lots of women in their bathing suits at the pool or the beach. There is virtually no woman past the age of 50, especially one who has had kids, that does not have at least some cellulite.
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