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 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 126
Question for Ladies 50+Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I've asked the younger men why they were interested in a woman my age, and their answers varied. One told me he didn't want kids and wouldn't feel pressured to start a family with an older woman.

Another told me he paid no attention to a woman's age at all, and just thought I was attractive. Another one thought I had money and was looking for a sugar mama.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 127
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:26:29 PM
It is not a shocker that not all men on these dating sites are honest about thier intentions or motivations - we hear complains in that vein all the time on these forums.

What is it that players are really good at - telling you what you want to hear and the easiest lie to tell a woman is one that will appeal to her own vanity and need to be regarded as youthful and attractive. The easiest compliment to pay a woman is to indicate to her that she looks younger than her age.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 128
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:34:43 PM
It is not a shocker that not all men on these dating sites are honest about thier intentions or motivations - we here complains in that vein all the time on these forums.

What is it that players are really good at - telling you what you want to hear and the easiest lie to tell a woman is one that will appeal to her own vanity and need to be regarded as youthful and attractive.


I'm sure some of the men had ulterior motives---of course that's true of men of all ages, and is not limited to just the ones on dating sites. In fact, it's not limited to men only. Shocking, huh?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 129
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/5/2013 7:02:37 PM
When I was dating and I was 30, I would often date a woman 7-11 years older.

Like the one man said, if I found someone attractive and they were attracted to me, we dated. At the time no one used the internet for dating, so I only found out their age well after we had become a couple. I never thought about money or children.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 130
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/5/2013 9:58:10 PM
When I was dating and I was 30, I would often date a woman 7-11 years older.


Don't you now have a wife from the orient who is about half your age.
 Caroline704
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 131
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/9/2013 11:55:21 AM
AMEN SISTER ! By this age, we are what we are...... We can be more open with ourselves as we should know ourselves by the age of 50 +.
 Dynamitefairlady
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 132
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:36:34 AM
You are not the only one!
Right on sister!!! Good for you, got to be happy in life! You and I both know, life is too short and we have learned by out experiences!!
 Mishellelavee
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 133
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/10/2013 1:44:12 PM
I have seen some really good profiles out there! Some that seem to really match up. But really, no matter how much one has in common with another, the physical passion has to be there. To have the same interests and commonalities etc.. is all good. But if the personalities dont click.. its the friend thing. I have been out with a few and I know they have been some really great guys, but you want a lover and that means someone has to effect you sexually. You have to LOVE the personality and he has to make her feel so good and comfortable, And like the millionaire matchmaker says... they have to make you feel Loosy goosey down there!! Silly but true!
 Mishellelavee
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 134
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/10/2013 1:48:36 PM
I agree with that. I have been posted by some very young and handsome men. But of course wouldnt have it cuz it would just be silly to me. But it was fun for a moment but sent them on their way, but they thanked me for being honest!
 Who234needsu
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 135
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/11/2013 7:36:25 PM
I think online dating is very much like an interview. That is not a negative thing it is just reality. One of us reaches out to the other online. If the other reads the profile and thinks there is a fit, he/she will (hopefully) respond back. If emailing goes okay you get a phone call and if the phone call goes well you get a face to face meet. If women go into that face to face with any expectation of finding "love" she will for the most part be disappointed. (Maybe this is also true of men... I can't speak for men though). If there is any connection on this first meet, maybe there will be a follow up date or second meeting. But the point is you are two strangers meeting for the first time. You are asking questions, discovering each others likes and dislikes, reading each others body language (very much like a job interview).

Personally, I wonder what men between 46 and 55 are looking for ... They seem to be do focused on women in their 30's and 40's they completely look past great women, closer to their age, with similar interests, experiences and backgrounds. We just don't seem to be "good" enough. The other thing I have noticed is that many men have become so tainted by this process that they no longer act like gentlemen. I prefer not to do anything that costs money on the first meet to avoid that awkward "men have to pay for the date and get nothing in return for a failed experience." I don't need a free meal. But I do need to be treated with respect and like a lady. That means actions as simple holding the door open to as difficult as making a follow up phone call to clarify his intentions going forward should be done. On many of my first meets and dates so much of this chivalry has been lost.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 136
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/12/2013 7:50:22 AM

(halcyon_skies) I agree that having a specification for a full head of hair sounds ridiculous. Is that common? Actually, a man with a full head of hair over 50 is really not that hard to find. It does tend to be rarer in a man over 60, though.


*shrug* I just do a comb-over with my back-hair... works like a charm.

(plus, it keeps my neck warm in winter... a "two birds/one stone" kinda deal...)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 137
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/12/2013 11:00:53 AM
Perhaps you should grow your ponytail back.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 138
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/13/2013 9:44:01 AM

(halcyon_skies) Perhaps you should grow your ponytail back.


There's an idea: grow my back-hair into a ponytail...
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 139
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/13/2013 9:51:16 AM

So did they give you any reasons why they preferred the company of older women?

LOL. They're not looking for 'company.' They have a Mrs. Robinson fantasy and think we're actually lonely and desperate enough to take the bait. I always tell them to stop bothering me or I'll tell their mothers on them.
 DDebbbie
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 140
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/13/2013 12:49:40 PM
I think every woman is different, but many of us, that are 50 and over, want real genuine loving relationships. I'm not so sure that romancing is as important for me as it once was. Partly because as soon as I got married (years ago), all the romancing stopped. That seemed more like deception to me. Was I just prey to be caught and then put on a wall?
I don't want someone to deceive me into thinking they are someone they are not. That is why I think it is important to be yourself and be honest about what you would be like in a long term relationship. If you plan on continuing to romance your lady even after 30 years of marriage, then I am all for it. Honesty is the best policy. It may take a little longer to find your match, but it will be worth it.
 1WishList
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 141
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/13/2013 11:25:26 PM
Wow ... that's at least three questions in there ...(I know, I'm not quite 50, but it's gaining on me, so, I'm responding).
1. Same amount of courting/romance: I've evolved from then(when I was younger), so, I don't hold feet to the fire with the rigidity I did. I look for the romance and his willingness to court as a marker of how his nature is, rather than a demand of what I Need.
All the forced gestures show differently than the more natural, comfortable behaviors. I pay close attention to body language.
2. How long before I realize he's not the one and move on: Doesn't really have as much to do with him being 'nice', as you put it, but more in how things play out, over time. Every situation is unique. Can't really answer this one.
3. Look for "Love at first sight": I think many of us do want to believe that that's possible. Wouldn't that be lovely. I've read about it, payed money to watch it on the big screen, and still imagine that it could be ...... I don't know --- I'm still not giving up the possibility :)
In closing, my approach to dating is different than when I was younger. I know better what I want, what I don't want, and I know myself. I didn't know how to know myself when I was younger.
 lasvegasvisitor7777
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 142
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 3:58:32 AM
I agree with blonde angel and you!!!1 I wish everyone would get over the trophy on arm stage. We all get older if we are lucky and don;t die) and we can;t all be marilyn monroe. We all get wrinkles and most of us end up with a spare tire in the middle in our 70's unless we are blessed with good genes from our families as some people are!!!! I don't bother with guys that say they are christians and then on the 1st or 2nd date want to jump in the sack!!! No BS. Be real. I am Real!! Sorry,My beauty lies on the inside!!!!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 143
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 7:33:44 AM
OH MY!! So many took the remark about a full head of hair out of context. I have dated men in their fifties with a full head of hair, yes, there are many of them. Is this a deal breaker, no its not. It was given as just a polite example of physical attraction, not meant to imply I would not date a bald man. In fact, I have. What I find most interesting is that it seems to be ok for men to be superficial, but when women say they prefer on thing or another we are slammed for it. I know the majority (not all) men who have contacted me did so based on pictures.. How do I know, the first few questions like what I do for a living.. had they read my profile or even scanned it, that would not be a question they would need to ask. I agree with many of the women, for me its a combination of things. I look for someone who is capable of an intelligent conversation, is mentally stable and over his last relationship. I am able to assess this fairly quickly, as I do have a little advantage there. I look for similar interests and I actually do read the profiles before reading mail. Then I look for some kind of physical attraction, because lets face facts, if i am not attracted, he moves to the friend pile. My attraction is not to pretty boys or gym rats.. yes a man can have a little meat on him or be lacking muscles.. I actually am not looking for a body builder or the attitude that goes with it. On the other hand, if he is a mess, depressed or has other deep seeded issues, I will pass. I am looking for a man to share my life with, not another patient. I think too many on these forums like to twist words or take things out of context. So in setting the record straight, the hair thing was only something I have found as a common thread in the men I have has long term relationships with. I am not eliminating men with thinning hair as a potential date.
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 144
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 9:52:19 AM
" I am not eliminating men with thinning hair as a potential date." I AM! The feeling of it makes me hurl, literally (I'd say that's fair enough reason doesn't have to be anyone else's! At least as many men, often bald or on their way, feel free to eliminate me, without knowing anything else about me, because I am the same age as them (or within a decade). : )
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 145
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 11:02:42 AM
I actually had 5 write Happy Valentines Day to me today.. There is still hope, lol
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 146
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 11:42:59 AM

" I am not eliminating men with thinning hair as a potential date." I AM! The feeling of it makes me hurl, literally (I'd say that's fair enough reason doesn't have to be anyone else's! At least as many men, often bald or on their way, feel free to eliminate me, without knowing anything else about me, because I am the same age as them (or within a decade). : )


pageforyou, I couldn't say it any better than you do above! Then again, Ladies, hope springs eternal. And this morning for the first time in waaaaay too long, I awoke to the sound and sight of a "Happy Valentine's Day" text from a fisherMAN in this pond. Never mind that we have both been circling around the romantic hook for weeks now. Never mind that the last guy I nearly met decided to make a night before lst meeting cancellation call because ---- as he wrote in reply to my, "What happened?" note the next day, "You talk too much. I don't think I'd be able to get a word in edge ways!". Never mind that the guy I actually met before him was 6 inches shorter than his stated height. And never mind that the guy I met before that was a decade older than his photos. And never mind that the guy before that didn't feel the need to let me know ahead of our first meet that knee surgery had left him with a painfully slow gait and a limp. . .

Hope springs eternal. And maybe I'll soon be on the receiving end of the notion that "the 7th year is the lucky year!" Time will tell.

Happy Valentines Day, Ladies!!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 147
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 12:09:51 PM

Never mind that the guy I actually met before him was 6 inches shorter than his stated height. And never mind that the guy I met before that was a decade older than his photos. And never mind that the guy before that didn't feel the need to let me know ahead of our first meet that knee surgery had left him with a painfully slow gait and a limp.


Now I know lying is always quoted as the big kahuna of dating faux pas, but telling the truth about those things people typically lie about doesn't get anyone a date either. No one seems to get points for unpleasant truths.

I can see the profile, Hi, I am a 5.3 inch 70 old man, I don't need a walker to get from my car to the restaurant, just give me 10 minutes and I can make in on my own, don't you know this oxygen tank is heavy?

I can see the thought process from the woman’s side of the computer, if this is what he's admitting, what is he hiding?


But all kidding aside, I had a question for the over 50 ladies.

I know for women younger than 40 height is one of the most important gating factors. By gating I mean no one shorter than they are should apply, and if you are equal height, well it might be OK as long as you have recently become a nobel laureate. Not really a very big exaggeration on my part.

But for the over 50 crowd, is height still so important? Randy I see is 5.7, which is 2 inches taller than I, would that be a big deal? Would the man being shorter than the lady be a deal breaker?

And Happy Valentines Day to all the men and women that are looking for their own Valentine sweetheart.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 148
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:16:16 PM

No one seems to get points for unpleasant truths.


Indeed.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 149
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:58:22 PM
The answer is to stop "dating" and work to develop a best friend, with a sprinkling of light romance. No sex until you have a great friend in your life. That's my approach. And, I think it's gonna work. First you find someone you with whom you have some common ground and interests then do activities associated with those interests while getting to know each other. I am starting this exact type of relationship as we speak. Our first get together will be a poetry reading (my suggestion). Her Dad is a college professor who has been writing poetry instead of sending postcards, actually they all do this. She's got a journalism degree. I also like to dabble with the stuff but no where near as accomplished as he is. It's this Saturday (he's not the poet). She's already suggested a second poetry get together (I don't really call them dates but maybe they're considered dates, I dunno, it doesn't matter) but we have a bunch of other common interests. We're just going to take our own sweet time getting to know each other. She's already sent me some of her Dad's poetry and poetry written by some other friends, which is really cool. One step at a time, no pressure, just starting out as friends, let it unfold at whatever pace we each decide on. At some point, it will get more physical but not under the expected time frame (3rd date) we've all gotten brainwashed into. Just because we've done it, doesn't mean we should continue to do it and speed things up. At this age, we should really be focusing on finding our life partner and best friend not just another roll in the hay.
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 150
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/14/2013 2:17:17 PM
{I've pretty much come to the conclusion that short of a miracle, I'm going to be single for the remainder of my life. And I'm really OK with that. I'm happy. I have a good job and a great family and friends. And I've had 3 husbands ... maybe it's 3 strikes and I'm out }

I totally agree with the above quoted by Phoenix_55. I too have been married 3 times and at this stage in my life I am not willing to settle like I used too. Its time for me to require more for myself so if I am lucky enough to find someone that is my equal and doesnt require me to conform to suit their needs, I will be happy. I am more than willing to wait for as long as it takes me.

When I meet a potential mate for a drink etc, I just act natural like we are friends sharing a good time. If we click and if there is chemistry, thats great. However we all have to ask questions to get a feel for what we are about so if that makes you feel like you are being interagated that thats an issue you have to deal with. The rules in life have changed so giving anyone the benefit of the doubt is no longer the rule.
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