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 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 186
Question for Ladies 50+Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

(kari1350) If it's ridiculous to demand that my intelligence and integrity be respected, then so be it.


He didn't say it was ridiculous to demand that your intelligence and integrity be respected; he was observing and commenting on the apparent insistence of many women to equate "making guys jump through hoops", to "respecting my intelligence and integrity".

For the record, I think that some men also erect artificial barriers that only ham-string their efforts to secure and maintain quality relationships; however, as this is a specific thread about women, the misogynistic woman-bashing should be given free reign!
 Bambi421
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 187
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/23/2013 8:08:46 AM
If it feels like a job interview then maybe the chemistry just isn't right so the other person is on automatic pilot.

I recently dated someone for several months. There were many wonderful things about the person, I didn't feel I could let him go. However, after several months of being together, I realize in the pit of my stomach that the relationship wasn't right for me. I could have pulled out sooner but I really did want to give the person a chance. I certainly didn't want to go as long as a year when I wasn't sure - I'm STILL not sure - but I just felt to keep going on and on was wrong. The person wanted to move in with me and I knew I didn't want to be with him all the time. If you are meant to be with someone, you want to be with them all the time - even to be bored with that person. Even in the do nothing times. When it's NOT right, you feel like you have to be entertained all the time, go to dinner all the time, DO SOMETHING all the time. When it's right, just washing the dishes is fun.

Hope this helps, just my opinion.
 stargirl59
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 188
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:57:55 AM
I think its easier at this age then when I was first dating younger because there is no longer the pressure of getting married, buying a home and having a family. Now,women 50 plus should be well-established with career, home and family. In my experience, it has been difficult to find a man that is at the same point of life as I am. I have dated younger and older and find that the men are not as financially secure as I am, in the career that they enjoy, and not as confident and secure as I would like. I look for a companion, someone who is confident but not****, a family man and someone who has similar likes as I do. A piece of advice is to get to know the person. People tend not to be that honest in the beginning and once you are hooked, you find it difficult to part ways when you are committed to this person. Go with your gut feeling. If it feels wrong and it can't be fixed, part amicably and wish each other well.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 189
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:05:04 AM
+1 Star girl.. I am finding the same thing as you. There are many men out there that just are not in the same place I am and expect me to just fall in love with them and accept their way of life or take care of them. I just dont see that as a match. Often they get angry when I say we are not a match and it gives me no pleasure to say it. However, at this point in my life, I am looking for my equal, someone I cant wait to see and know I will enjoy growing old with. I dont waste my time or theirs when I know its just not a connection.
 fusiadreamer
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 190
view profile
History
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:28:56 AM
Yes..............dont ever give up on some good old fashioned courting. Too few men bother these days to 'woo' a lady and frankly, thats what we (most of us) want. Good luck.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 191
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:52:03 PM

fusiadreamer
Yes..............dont ever give up on some good old fashioned courting. Too few men bother these days to 'woo' a lady and frankly, thats what we (most of us) want. Good luck.


'Cause it's all about you, not us, as in both people.

My late Wife was chasing, courting, wooing, me as much as I was her. Then when two equals meet, that happens. It's a two way street and both are involved. Some still haven't learned that fairy tales are a fiction book, not real life. This isn't Camelot and you're not a Princess.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 192
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 9:51:46 AM

Yes..............dont ever give up on some good old fashioned courting. Too few men bother these days to 'woo' a lady and frankly, thats what we (most of us) want.


I agree!

I love men who enjoy “courting” a woman, and who go out of their way to attract and win over a woman. Some men realize that some women like to be treated as someone special, not just another notch…..and those men are soooooo worth waiting for.

Some women enjoy being women, and really really like it when men act like men.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 193
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 10:11:02 AM
I love men who enjoy “courting” a woman, and who go out of their way to attract and win over a woman.


You mean with free meals, free drinks and trinkets. Some things never change with age. Being wooed is short for man with big woo..allet.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 194
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 10:32:18 AM
+1 Fleuron.. no question about that. For the men who squawk and start stating all women like this are only after money, I do feel sorry for you. To be that bitter and scarred about women is something I find sad. Not all "ladies" are gold-digging princess's.. some of us just enjoy mutual respect, mutual kindness and manners. I have never dated anyone who was not a gentleman, but have met plenty of men on line who never got to a meeting because they were not. The "bitter-buddies" seem to find an excuse to blame women when they are not getting dates. Attitude might be more the problem.
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 195
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 10:37:21 AM
^^^ Haha I think thats funny Maleman.
Wooing is a very subjective term for many women. For example, I don't like eating anything unless it is from my own kitchen and I don't drink alot. So I guess that leaves only trinkets for me...lol.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 196
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 11:04:16 AM

Some women enjoy being women, and really really like it when men act like men.

Once again, there's the problem of: What is acting like a man? Is it opening the door or grabbing you by the hair and dragging you off? Where is the line between manliness and cave-manliness? Does he steal a kiss over dinner, or is that pushing it too far? Is he supposed to smell like WD40 or Aramis? Is a sword a proper accessory, or should he be welded to a cell phone? Is it manly to set in a recliner and send texts all day, or should he be out digging post holes?

It goes both ways of course, is a womanly woman a wall flower, or does she dance on the bar? Does she need help opening the pickles or does she shoe her own horse? Is she sexy when helping you clean the septic tank or when she stands 30 yards away holding her nose and complaining about the smell.

Where's the line, is there a line, do we need a line? Shouldn't we just want them to be themselves and just see what happens over time?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 197
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 11:50:37 AM

You mean with free meals, free drinks and trinkets. Some things never change with age. Being wooed is short for man with big woo..allet.


Oh, that’s too bad. It must be absolutely agonizing for you to know that you’re unable to win over women with your own sweet (cough!) self, and feel it necessary to desperately buy them….but can’t afford any. That’s gotta be rough. Especially since there are plenty of men who know how to do it and do it soooo very well.

Well YOU will surely never change. Boo hoo for you.


+1 Fleuron.. no question about that. For the men who squawk and start stating all women like this are only after money, I do feel sorry for you. To be that bitter and scarred about women is something I find sad.


It is so very, very sad. I will light a candle tonight in sympathy and condolence for all the lost and missing balls.


Not all "ladies" are gold-digging princess's.. some of us just enjoy mutual respect, mutual kindness and manners. I have never dated anyone who was not a gentleman


Me either. I have many male friends I’ve never dated who behave like gentleman with me, as well.

I guess there are some men who make the absolute least amount of effort with any woman who lets him get away with it….and when a woman settles for a man’s least, that’s exactly what she’s gonna get.


Where's the line, is there a line, do we need a line? Shouldn't we just want them to be themselves and just see what happens over time?


Of course. And some of us prefer men who are themselves the best when behaving like men. It’s simple preference. I know a man I like when I see one.


What is acting like a man? Is it opening the door or grabbing you by the hair and dragging you off?


Speaking for myself…..I prefer a man equally proficient in door opening and hair grabbing. You know, a gentleman in the street and a freak in my bed. ;)
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 198
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Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/25/2013 8:03:58 PM

And some of us prefer men who are themselves the best when behaving like men.

Now, don't get insulted, but that's a circular reference. I asked how a man acted and you essentially replied that men behave like men.

???
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 199
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:43:44 PM

Now, don't get insulted, but that's a circular reference. I asked how a man acted and you essentially replied that men behave like men.


I’m not insulted. I thought your examples were facetious, so I responded in kind with my “hair pulling” comment. (but I did mean it)

I can only answer for myself, and I doubt my opinion means much to anyone other than me. I don’t go for men who calculate, analyze, keep score, etc. while dating or in a relationship; or consider women trophies, accessories, sex objects, air heads, or toys.

From my previous post, in part: I love men who enjoy “courting” a woman, and who go out of their way to attract and win over a woman. Some men realize that some women like to be treated as someone special, not just another notch…

Some men treat women the way I prefer to be treated by men…this (among other things) turns me on. I’ve been fortunate enough to attract men who behave the way I prefer men to behave. Can I give you a detailed list of what attracts me? Sure, but…it’s pointless.

Probably the most valid thing I can offer is that every woman is an individual human being; she likes what she likes, and doesn’t like what she doesn’t like. Trying to determine what every woman wants in a man, or what makes a man a “man” to every woman, is futile.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 200
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:07:29 PM

I prefer a man equally proficient in door opening and hair grabbing.

 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 201
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:47:28 PM
I always laugh (to myself) when I hear women complain about how their husbands no longer do any of the things they did when they were courting. One of these days I'll get up the nerve to tell them that it was an act and he never had any intention to keep doing it.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 202
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:06:24 PM

it was an act and he never had any intention to keep doing it.


For some. My first marriage, certainly. *Everything* --including sex-- was over after that 45 minute ceremony. I was dumbfounded. But I was 23, and a really hopeful cuss, so I thought if I just loved him enough, he'd blossom. Didn't work. When I left, HE was dumbfounded: it had worked just fine for his dad for fifty years.

Has never happened again. But then, I no longer date engineers, lol! GIGO
 Pinotmerlot
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 203
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:16:22 PM
You put it all so well! But I think you sound like a smart lady and a great catch for the right man! I have been married twice, raised two daughters and feel as though I have forgotten how to share space in my world but yet here I am. Not many of us at this age NEED a partner but it would sure cure the lonliness that we all feel from time to time not to mention having a best friend in life to grow old with would be extra nice! I wish you well Phoenix!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 204
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:20:20 PM
+1 Fleuron.. well said. ( i loved the hair pulling thing.. giggles)
 Pinotmerlot
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 205
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:21:59 PM
ouch! I thought I was a princess....bubble buster! HA! I think you have a point however, it's a two way street but if a man is treating a lady like a lady, she will typically gladly treat him the way he wants in return...it's a mutual thing. I think we have to be careful to not get to stuck in our ways and bitter if we're alone too long and then setting expectations that are too high.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 206
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:23:24 PM
A lady always treats a gentlemen with love kindness and respect.. it most definitely flows both ways
 susanna01
Joined: 9/18/2011
Msg: 207
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:08:16 PM
well here it comes, ur a man so I will talk caveman style to u, if u want a sportier car u have to work harder and pay more money, if u want a spectacular vacation, u must plan for it, and if u want too go to a sporting event so as to get ur adrenelin pumping, u have to go and pay attention,I dont care what age a women is , unless she from another planet she will love the effort,,seems like you need tweeking out,the better the women the more effort u must do, or u can just settle for anything, but dont think u gonna get something for nothing ,amen and amen
 kadydidit2
Joined: 1/17/2013
Msg: 208
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:27:49 PM
Hi scb19a...So I looked at your profile & may I suggest that you change the heading first off. You come right out of the gate with a negative headline. My next suggestion would be for you to smile. As far as dating goes, for me this is different than courting. Dating is simply to determine if I feel there's something about the man that I want to investigate further. I can tell within the first phone call if I like him enough to go out with him. After we meet, I can usually tell within the first 30 minutes if we are getting on all right. If we decided to go out 3 or more times, then the discovery stage begins. this is when the courting begins if the man is equally attracted to the woman. I don't believe in love at first sight. Love is a verb, not a feeling. I also don't believe in "the one". It sounds as if you're working too hard to impress or expose. You don't need to tell all on a date. If you're a stable man who loves himself & his own life, women pick up on that. It's very sexy. And being a pharmacist, well, you know....Good luck!
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 209
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 3/27/2013 3:19:24 AM

Question for Ladies 50+
What is your approach to dating? Do you require the same amount of "courting" and "romance" you did when you were younger?

I am still idealistic (and practical). I don’t know what to tell you about courting rituals. With me, if a man likes me he lets me know and if he is my type the rest just naturally follows. I know immediately if I can be attracted to him; from his messages initially and then in person if he is as I perceived we usually get along. It is very rare though to find a match as the pool is a lot smaller now than it was when we were younger.

If I were to suggest anything it would be to not be afraid to let a woman know you like her and to proceed to show her that you do. In other words, do not be afraid of being vulnerable.
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