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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Why do people wait so long to take a chance?      Home login  
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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 26
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I have gone out with Mormons, all sorts of Christians, Muslims, Catholics, Native American, Hindu, Mexicans, etc.


I didn't know that Mexicans was a religion.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 27
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:42:11 PM

Why is it that both men and women are looking for perfection and won't even give anyone a chance


Why don't YOU actually answer that question for US, and then we'll follow. You're question seems quite silly after reading your profile and your "preferences".

Mexicans = religon,,,, now that's phucking funny.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 28
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:48:06 PM
I think you're mistaking "taking a chance" for "settling for someone who will do".

I would much rather be single for 5 years, than "take a chance" on someone I feel no attraction towards, and don't click with. So many people fear being alone, that they shack up with anyone who will do, and wonder why they end up in lengthy and miserable relationships.

I don't see the point of knowing I'm taken, only to end up feeling trapped in a relationship later on, because I settled big time.

I don't see the wrong in being patient. People are in a rush, and you can't rush love.
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 29
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:57:59 PM
What Perspektiv said - 100% true. Been there, done that, NEVER again. Being alone is 1000 x better than settling for someone who is just not right for you. You can't force certain things. OP, with your extreme views about your diet and lifestyle, your pool of candidates is very, very small. Personally I find people with such radical views annoying as heck. I'm sure most men have even less tolerance for such a lifestyle. Good luck though And BTW, there are animals that are raised and slaughtered humanely, most organic meats for example.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 30
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:33:45 PM
Some possibilities:

1) Burnout. (Too much effort now)
2) Fear of failure again. (Especially after a string of disappointments)
3) Fear of success. (If one finds what one is looking for, what does one do with it? The search was their life)
4) Believing the hype. (The world is at one's fingertips now. All one has to do is search long enough and hard enough and one will find 100% of what one is looking for)
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 31
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:41:06 PM
OP: many people have an grossly inflated sense of self worth.
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 32
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:01:14 PM
I personally am not looking for perfection but i am not going to settle either.I met someone on here and within 2 weeks she wanted to marry.Sorry that is a little to fast in my books,she said the same as you that she was getting old.We are not together becouse i wasn,t going fast enough for her but that is ok,being single for a little longer isn,t going to hurt me.What is wrong with getting to know someone or am i just being strange,there is nothing wrong with being alone either.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 33
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:54:30 PM
Has it ever occurred to you that people are giving you a chance?

Maybe you aren't making the most out of the chances you are given.

Just sayin.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 34
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Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:10:34 PM
what's going on. The men my age won't look twice at a woman their age and most of them have their age restrictions set for 18-35


If you only knew the emails I get from 60+ women ..

Op , if you listen to the women in this forum, you would know ..its because we're a bunch of stinky ole men , who don't bathe, wear our clothes outta the hamper , never brush our teeth or shave, we're out of shape, overweight, and missing sex drives and scalp hair

The question should be ...why do people over 50 get together..?
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 35
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:16:12 PM

The question should be ...why do people over 50 get together..?


Misery loves company?
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 36
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:40:59 PM
Can't Take a Chance
a man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just cant take that chance...
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 37
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:43:04 PM
I agree with notdating-forumsonly. Men are so jaded from their last marriage, they aren't ready.
Also the chemistry isn't there. The connection of two people.
I have met amazing men on this site, great guys who are such gentlemen and a perfect ideal for I've never been married but there isn't a connection that go beyond friendship. And if there is, I moved too fast and thus it frizzled.
Having a great time though and keeping the connection with great guys for life is definitely too short. Guy friends are great benefits to life!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 38
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:54:59 PM

Why are people not honest to realize that each day that passes by ---you are getting older.

This is exactly the reason I stopped overlooking little things and stopped meeting/dating people who didn't meet my insane "list" of must-be's. Because I realized I was indeed getting older, I'd lived without a steady man in my life for over 11 years, I knew that I was not only happy, capable and willing to be alone, I learned that I could "grow old" alone with no regrets.

Why is it that both men and women are looking for perfection and won't even give anyone a chance?

"Perfect for me" was the ONLY option. I had no interest in settling, nor did I want to be someone that a man settled on/for.

We are not going to live forever. Take a chance. Find someone that you think you might be compatible with and communicate and take a chance. Comment on why men/women are so fussy and do not want to take a chance.

I reconciled growing old alone, dying without a significant other in my life loooooooooong ago. Because I know, all too well, that life is exceptionally short, I became comfortable with living my life without a partner in my mid/late 30s. Over the years, I dated, I had a couple of short-term boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but at the end of the day ~ I'd much rather be happy alone than unhappy with a man that didn't possess every single trait I wanted/desired/deserved to have in my life. I wouldn't say I was "fussy" ~ I would say that I was down-right picky and not a little picky ~ exceptionally so. Had my SO not appeared right in front of me ~ I would still be living a full, happy, healthy and fulfilled life. Very likely the same life I'm living at this very moment, just without him in it.

~OP~ I understand the premise of your question, what I don't understand is why so many think it takes having a romantic partner will make our break their life as the twi-light years approach. I just think that's odd. But to each their own. JMO
 Feather21
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 39
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:12:09 PM
I feel like I do take chances, and a lot of people say I'm fussy! I'm just very picky, know what I like and don't like, etc...

You sound very rigid about being right to not eating meat, and of course there are plenty of men, who do eat meat.
So, is this a problem for you, or do you let that get in the way of who you choose to date, etc...
 pattie2014
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 40
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:21:10 PM
I really don't think that the dating scene has really changed much in 30 years . The only thing that may
be different is some are going through midlife crisises and don't realize it! That can really put a monkey
wrench in building a relationship with someone.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 41
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Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:35:13 PM

I have called them and left a message but they did not call back. They seem too busy to make a date. They have my phone number and I have them but they did not call me back, so I am just wondering what is up when they wanted to talk live to me.


OP..I hope you find what your looking for , But you cant be serious about not understanding this ^^^^^
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 42
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:59:11 PM

Why are people not honest to realize that each day that passes by ---you are getting older.
Yeah, and.. ? That means I should grab some dude real quick, just because I'm getting older? Holy crap, I turn 40 right away!! I'd better get out there, the end is nigh!!!! Lol..

For one thing some people need to take time after the end of a relationship. And sometimes there is even deeper healing to do, so that you don't repeat the same patterns over and over again. Sometimes life is busy and you are too exhausted to truly give of yourself, sometimes you are dealing with family/work/life crises that pulls you away from what I would call the trivialities of dating.. etc, etc..

Should people rush the process just to appease you or someone else? That never leads to anything good, and usually for the one doing the pushing. Is that what you want, some guy who's rubber arm can be twisted? Ick.

If someone isn't ready or interested, walk away. I'll never understand the ones who keep trying in the absence of positive signs.

And you can make whatever judgments about them as you'd like, but.. it doesn't change the reality.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 43
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Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:00:14 PM
Who doesn't realize that when each day passes by we're getting older?

Who's looking for perfection?

You're not going to live forever? amazing. (aren't you striving to live kind of forever?) Doesn't dating just anyone and gambling with chances mess that up for you?

Take a chance because we should be fearful of dying alone just because we're compatible and can communicate? Why don't you take a chance with your girlfriends then?


Most intelligent people aren't waiting so long to take a chance. The are using their faculties to make a wise decision. I don't know where you get the idea that taking a chance is a better way.


OP lay off the peanuts, because... unless they are organic, they are toxic and mess with your reasoning as well as other parts of your body.

Don't gamble. Be patient and discerning. No matter what your age. (Saves a lot of griping afterwards).
 SaharaM
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 44
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Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:19:32 PM

Why are people not honest to realize that each day that passes by ---you are getting older.
What are you talking about? "Not realizing" something has absolutely nothing to do with dishonesty.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 45
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 5:35:58 AM
When people aren't taking a chance, it is because something isn't right. When the situation or person changes, they have no problem moving forward.
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 46
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 6:05:27 AM
@nikkisenko..What do you mean something isn,t right.If a person doesn,t want to take a chance that is up to him/her and it doesn,t mean there is something wrong.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 47
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 12:14:34 PM

I think you're mistaking "taking a chance" for "settling for someone who will do".

I would much rather be single for 5 years, than "take a chance" on someone I feel no attraction towards, and don't click with. So many people fear being alone, that they shack up with anyone who will do, and wonder why they end up in lengthy and miserable relationships.

I don't see the point of knowing I'm taken, only to end up feeling trapped in a relationship later on, because I settled big time.

I don't see the wrong in being patient. People are in a rush, and you can't rush love.

Look at that. Logic/intelligence/common sense all in one post. Imagine! Something I totally agree with. I'd stay single forever way before I'd settle for someone I wasn't really into - which would waste my time AND his (and the time of a lot of people we know).

Has it ever occurred to you that people are giving you a chance?

Maybe you aren't making the most out of the chances you are given.

Just sayin.

This is most likely also true. Food for thought, OP.
 logicalman1111
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 48
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 7:38:56 PM
I am getting old and I don't want to take a chance now for the same reasons I didn't want to take a chance at age 18. A lot of people like myself feel crippled financially. We feel like we have never had money to do anything for ourselves let alone someone else. The only difference might be that a lot of people don't let that stop them. They live together in poverty not knowing if they will even be homeless the next day. Half of those people end up in divorce because of fights over not having money to do anything. This is why I wouldn't have children, and this is why I sincerely hope our economy will change. I don't mind being single but I don't want to be left without a house or food. And that happens to the best people. Some people have everything and lose it all and some people never got off the ground to begin with. I see the people in Washington drinking expensive wine and driving 300,000 dollar cars and they complain that poor people ask for medicaid or medicare. Hannity is doing a special on this right now, everyone should watch, because they are showing evidence that just about everyone in government has an entire lifetime of friends and relatives becoming lobbyist. 535 people have managed to steal money from 300,000,000 people, you wouldn't think that is possible. The solution is to fire all of them, if you like democrats replace them with another democrat, or republicans replace with that, but for damn sure get rid of all of them that are there now.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 49
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Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 7:55:33 PM
The game of love rewards risk-taking with pleasure. Staying single rewards caution with safety. Being too picky is a way of playing it safe to avoid losing again. I think this is a female strategy that men adopt. It's female because of how women attract and men pursue. By keeping her hair up, Rapunzel gets no men tangled in it. They remain below where they can't touch her, below her window, drawn by her lament but unable to ascend. Men who pretend to be too picky should look out their window and count the absent women there. Women don’t wait around for men to let down the hair they no longer have.

So Rapunzel continues to lament:
* I can't find someone worthy of my love.
* I can't find the love that doesn't ask me to risk losing out again.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 50
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:02:14 PM
Because taking a chance means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable to scrutiny. Because being vulnerable takes balls (maybe not for women). It means being truthful about your own insecurities. Whether it's debt, multiple marriages, alcohol as a lifestyle choice, etc. Reaching that precipice...that cliff...you see a possible soul mate standing across a chasm...you look down into that chasm...you realize that in order to really reach that soul mate...you're going to have to open up and share your demons and insecurities. Maybe some people are just not ready to be vulnerable to that?
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