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 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 26
Im 47 She is 56Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

but She sometimes says "I'm too old for you".


When she says this, ask her why she feels that way. If she starts focusing on the numbers, ask her why it makes more sense to her to focus on specific numbers rather than individual flesh and blood people who enjoy being together and mesh well.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 27
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:35:20 PM
OP, I agree with msg #23 in that she may be worried that you'll run off with someone younger that may turn your head. If and when she brings up the age, just reassure her that you are there for her and hope that she is there for you! Enjoy!


OP, another related issue that might make an older woman hesitant to get involved with you is the fact that you're undecided about having children. That could be a problem for her if you eventually decided you did want them---and she was unable to have them.

I would be more inclined to get involved with a younger man if he definitely didn't want kids.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 28
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:25:22 PM

"Thebugisback" Since you're such a stickler for detail, How did you manage to miss my update that states I'm no longer interested in dating?....also do you know the difference between LTR and FRIENDS?..that detail is there also. Now, if you have any questions regarding the age of my friends....let me assure you that 75 year old women just don't do well going off road straight up a mountain side in my 4x4....the screaming hurts my ears! I like the outdoors in my retirement, and most women even my age can't handle a little excitement. When I say friends, I mean friends. I have no intentions of changing my life at this point to accommodate a romantic relationship. I've often wondered how or why people pick and choose what they deem relevant in a profile and ignore the rest......maybe you can enlighten me on that detail.


Simple. I find it odd that you can be in a relationship with an older woman, but not friends with them.
 jab66
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 29
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:16:53 PM
Thank you for all the great advice!
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 30
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:22:11 PM
"Dinner whore" What the hell are you talking about?......you can't read either? My previous profile say's looking for friends....where do you see relationship? My update makes it clear that currently I'm not looking for anything. I don't know much about dyslexia.....but I'm learning. LOL
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 31
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:12:38 PM
Nine years is too young for me. One of my closest friend's boyfriend is 10 years younger than her. She is 53. Initially, she said nope, no way this would work for her. They're still going strong and are living together, five years now I think. They look very similar in age -- you'd never know there is an age difference. They have similar interests and personalities. He adores her and has seen her through some very rough times.

In this situation it works. She gave the guy a chance where I wouldn't even consider it. For you OP, I guess you would have to be persistent in your intentions and win her over. Anything is possible.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 32
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:59:13 PM
9 years? my gf is living with a man whos 43, shes going to be 64 in 2 months. Unless you are looking to start a family, enjoy the person you're with, age is just a number.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 33
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:29:54 AM
Sounds like an excuse to possibly have you move on and she could very well be bored with you more than insecurity if she already has you in her bed.

She should be OLD or MATURE enough to enjoy so me things now has lost its "glitter".


My update makes it clear that currently I'm not looking for anything.

Of course you aren't.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 34
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/18/2013 2:06:07 AM
^^^^Thanks for the acknowledgment....plain English is hard to understand...isn't it?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 35
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:20:33 PM
look...it's different when the woman is older. i can't really explain it, but trust me, when she's 70, you probably will want to be dating women your own age or younger. it's better when the man is older...
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 36
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:41:46 PM

Im 47 She is 56


Not a big deal at your age.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 37
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:53:48 PM
There is a book out there called " How to Love A Younger Man" Something like that but it will explain to you all the fears older women have in dating a much younger man. Nine years is not a lot to worry about but for some reason she is. You need to understand that first before trying to make her understand your intentions.

Talk to her and find out what she's worried about and why she says " I'm to old for you". Maybe she is not interested in you the same way or maybe she is but has other concerns shes worried about. Either way we can not speak for her and if you really want to keep her I suggest you spend time talking to her about it. The next time she says " I'm to old for you" Ask her, " Why do you say that?" And wait for her to answer!

Age doesn't make a difference, but only if the two of you feel the same way.
 Smurfhawk
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 38
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:29:08 PM
I don't know my X did that to me in public all the time she was 6.5 years older bragged about it ..I did't care..also I didn't care to here about it all the time..she never got over that hangup ..we lasted 28 years....Good luck with that....
 Smurfhawk
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 39
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:32:42 PM
I agree message #39...I'm living it...
 JBL51
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 40
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:50:11 PM
Who and when did the rule book get written that the guy has to be older. I must have missed that page. If you make each other smile, respect one another and I doubt if at this age having children is going to be an issue. Get over it and both of you if you really enjoy each other and make each other smile. If you respect each other then for the love of G-D hold on to each other and enjoy what ever time the man upstairs gives you.
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 41
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 1:08:07 PM
Hey I am 56 and I would be THRILLED to find a man 47 who wanted to be with me :)

Your actions speak louder than words, OP ... hang in there and continue to show her through your actions, by staying with her, being true to her, being loyal, etc. With time, she'll focus less on the age difference. I think she may just be a little insecure about it.
 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 42
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:17:24 PM
JBL You got that right. I'll second that. Look hard I'm 64 and that's not much of a difference in age to me. It just depends on the person I say hang in there.
 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 43
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:36:52 PM
I just went back and read your profile and it says "not serious about a relationship". I read all the replies and did not read your profile, now I understand the sister. You might want to consider your profile, just change it to want to learn something from older woman. Can you help me with it. Just a thought from an older woman.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 44
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/26/2013 4:01:05 PM
Tell her that Arwen was 2,000+ years older than Aragorn and that didn't seem to get in their way.

Rent Harold and Maude and watch it with her.

Put in that light, the difference in your ages is not particularly significant.

Maybe she has other reasons and that one is just a convenient excuse.

She could just be insecure, thinks you won't find her attractive. Don't focus on that. Focus on what you enjoy together. Let her know you think she's beautiful. And sexy. Compliment her on how nice she looks when you see her and be sincere about it. Invite her to do stuff with you. Don't make it about being a "date," make it about sharing companionship. Don't worry about having a "relationship." Win her over like you'd win over any other woman.

And if she says no, accept it and move on.

If your profile says you aren't looking for a relationship, maybe that's stopping her. Maybe she figures you're just looking to use her and lose her and she's looking for a relationship that will last.

 jab66
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 45
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Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/26/2013 7:20:42 PM
We have talked about the age difference a few times since my original post and it seems that she is a little insecure about it. Seems to come up less lately. I am the first younger man that she has had a relationship with and she knows that I have dated younger women in the past. We both have so much in common, enjoy all our time togerther and age has never been a show stopper. I guess reassuring her if it comes up again is all I can do.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 46
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:55:21 PM
Thanks for updating, jab66. Looks like it's going okay as far as this is concerned - here's hoping that continues!
 sunsunsun4
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 47
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:04:34 AM
If, "I'm too old for you" meant "You're immature," she would simply drop you.

If I said, "I'm too old for you," to a younger man, I would like to hear the following:

-But sweetheart, people will think I'M the older one
-What the heck are you worried about? You're gorgeous!
-And here I was, worried that people are thinking I'm dating someone too young for me. Just a teeeeeny bit of BS never hurts. It tells her you care enough to lie.
-But you'll be young and gorgeous forever!

It's all about how she's feeling about herself. Our bodies sag and other delightful things happen with age.
 T8kalook
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 48
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:11:42 PM
I must say, I agree that the age difference doesn't matter. But for me, young guys come after me a good bit. Usually it is a physical fantasy (MILF) I can see that it would be difficult to believe that someone a good bit younger is really interested for the long haul. Time will even it out. If she sees you are really interested in her as a person and a relationship, she will probably eventually forget the age difference. Women dating younger guys is still kind of "new". In so many ways we see ourselves as over and done. I am 46 and I feel that way sometimes. If you have common interest, that is what is important.
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 49
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/30/2013 2:24:00 PM
It will never work unless she has a lot of money.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 50
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 2/1/2013 11:07:06 AM
While 47 is "old", it doesn't mean you're very mature. When you enter your 50's your perspectives and attitudes change so she might truly feel you are too immature. Or that she is too mature for you.
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