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 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 26
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have found myself very attracted to some men physically who weren't the most attractive guys in the world, after I got to know and like them. It's just me, but when I get to know someone and find the personality qualities that I like, they just seem to magically become more physically....and sexually....attractive to me.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 27
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:03:19 AM
The difference is you said you were attracted. She isn't.

I want you to get over the looks thing myself. I am rooting for the guy. I met someone who was awesome, but they said they weren't interested because i was a inch shorter than them. She lost out big time. I wish looks weren't such a big deal.
 olderwiserhappier
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 28
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:58:11 AM
Ok, we're 50-something....none of us look "wow" anymore. If you can find a man who actually wants to date a 50-something y/o woman you'd better take another look at him.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 29
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:03:09 AM
Thanks for all the replies - given me lots to think about. Decided he could be a good friend, but nothing more. I don't find him repulsive, but I do think sex would soon become close your eyes and think of England - not something I want. Shame, because as I said in other ways he's great.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 30
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:06:37 AM
Go off some place romantic together for a week and have lots and lots and lots of really hot sweaty sex. By the end of the week your hormones and endorphins and all those lovely feelings may have transformed Mr So-So into Mr Hmmmmmm.

Good luck, OP
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 31
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:16:12 AM
Thanks for the update, Eve.

Best of luck moving forward!
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 32
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:40:33 AM
No, it won't work. BTDT. As others have said, would you want to find out that a man you are dating is not physically attracted to you, and is just settling?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 10:08:36 AM

Getting along great and having a lot in common adds up to a good friend. Sex is like eating. If you're hungry even a McDonald's cheeseburger can seem "great".

I've never been that hungry. I think not eating is better. When it comes to sex, I'd rather hit the toy store than sleep with someone I find repulsive. There just isn't a dry spell bad enough for me to stop caring about who I'm attracted to.

OT - agreed that if the sex is the same excitement as eating a tuna sandwich and you'll end up daydreaming during it, it's probably not for you.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 34
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 10:25:44 AM

Well looks like women DO think like men huh....so much for men being shallow....lol

Back up the horse here..people.
In my post@ 10...I never once said this man was not attractive or ugly...in fact the opposite.
He never had trouble getting women through out his life. He has always had a charisma but was never a player or other. That is probably "why" I tried to convince myself....to give it a go!
He had his own home...had his own money..as I do.....we had the same background and grew up with the same people...it just wasn't there for me.
Maybe I misunderstood the post...??
Doesn't matter I guess....If you are not attracted because of his appearance...it probably still won't work.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 35
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 10:37:28 AM
"I've never been that hungry. I think not eating is better. When it comes to sex, I'd rather hit the toy store than sleep with someone I find repulsive. There just isn't a dry spell bad enough for me to stop caring about who I'm attracted to.

OT - agreed that if the sex is the same excitement as eating a tuna sandwich and you'll end up daydreaming during it, it's probably not for you."

I agree with you 100%
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 36
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 11:02:15 AM
You have to be attracted to all of him in order to have a happy healthy relationship. If you cannot see past his looks then he is not for you.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 37
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:05:33 PM
I think your leading this man on its gong to be more than what it is , and thats not really being fair to him, now is it.?
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 38
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:42:27 PM
Just the fact that you even had to ask should give you an answer! NO! not unless you are willing to settle for less then what you feel is ok to compromise on because it would not be fair to him. Would you want a man if he found you lacking that way? BTW, he sounds more like a pal then a lover.
 Ochema
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 39
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:14:51 AM
I can honestly say that this wouldn't stop me in the least. I have grown very sexually attracted to a woman who I found (to be frank) ugly. Ugly people have good relationships all the time, and being ugly doesn't make you blind.

You would have to be able to feel on the level with him though, and that might be out of YOUR league.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 40
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 1:11:48 AM
Well, since it was my post that mentioned the cheeseburger and sex...lol Maybe I should clarify that statement a bit more and remind the readers that I went on to say that looks are VERY important. My daughter and I were just discussing that very topic while watching A Baby Story today...
Its all in the taste...we all have deal breakers when it comes to what we will find attractive and what we will NOT.
I have my deal breakers and I'm sure they are different from some of yours. If a man has nasty feet...those feet will never, never be under my sheets.
What we find attractive is as subjective as shopping for a purse or a pair of shoes. We're all different, our tastes are different. I wouldn't carry an ugly handbag so I'm careful to pick out one I'll like and be proud to carry.
OP had stated that she found sex with the guy very good but wasn't physically attracted to him....
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 41
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 6:17:15 AM

Go off some place romantic together for a week and have lots and lots and lots of really hot sweaty sex. By the end of the week your hormones and endorphins and all those lovely feelings may have transformed Mr So-So into Mr Hmmmmmm.


I actually think that this would work... HOWEVER, if you don't have the hots for the guy in the first place, what would drive you to have lots of hot, sweaty sex with him?

I've often tried to have sex with a man I did not fancy, but who I liked as a person, and I just could not get my motor started up :-(
 Red906
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 42
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 11:55:36 AM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. How many times have we heard this? We need to listen.... I so believe that you can fall deeply in love with someone for who they are, not what they look like.... So many have said before me that if everything else is working and pretty well I might add.... To just go for it! Give this man a chance... I always feel kindness goes a long way. Sounds like he'd decent, kind, caring, all the makings of a good man... Give him a chance. I bet you won't regret it, and he'll be looking really attractive in no time...
Good luck
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 43
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 12:06:41 PM
It's not so much about someones looks, but more so if you're attracted to their looks or not. Any successful& fulfilling relationship needs the passion/attraction element, there's no getting around it. People need to be attracted to their partner and it's not something that can be controlled or forced in any way. I completely get that a person's personality/who they are can make them all the more attractive (especially if they're funny, ha) but you still need to feel a level of physical attraction for them.

For me, I never looked for the best looking guy, just the guys that I felt attracted to. BIG difference. I could see a hot guy and not feel attracted and then see a decent looking/average guy and get all bothered...it's all about preference and yes beauty IS in the eye of the beholder =)

You don't want to be with someone where every time they go to kiss or touch you, you cringe...:0
 AstroCat505
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 44
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 12:13:49 PM
"has a small holding in West Wales"

Me thinks this lady is not in it for the physical attraction or the possibility of building a loving relationship but for the fact that this man may be wealthy and affluent and seems to be causing her to have the proverbial "dollar signs" in her eyes that are strangely motivating her...
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 45
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:25:20 PM
Sychronicity, that means a little farm. They're lovely but he is probably not rich.
 funnygirl_13
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 46
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/19/2013 4:29:32 PM

But the distance was an issue. He didn't want to move back to where I live and he used to live. No way was I upping and moving to West Wales without a good 6 month trial run, which would have proved too difficult - giving up work, etc. So we lost contact...


Has this changed? If not, why is the rest even relevant?
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 47
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:13:18 AM
Most men I date or have relationships with, i'm not physically attracted to.

The last one was old, short, bald and fat.

I find if i'm attracted to them, I get intimidated by them.

So for me, its easy when i'm not attracted to them.

For others, it may be a problem.

You need to find out for yourself if its a problem or not. No one else can tell you that.
 Inicia
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 48
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:29:28 AM
yeah my head can be turned by the perfect physical specimen for a quick roll. However I find for myself physical appearance does nothing for that long haul sexual intimacy and attraction. For me I hate it when I get in a relationship with someone who really only went for me because I met their physical requirements. Because often once we really know each other it kills the physical attraction. They never liked me for who I was anyway..
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 49
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:45:35 AM

"has a small holding in West Wales"

Me thinks this lady is not in it for the physical attraction or the possibility of building a loving relationship but for the fact that this man may be wealthy and affluent and seems to be causing her to have the proverbial "dollar signs" in her eyes that are strangely motivating her...


Oh, he's not rich at all - he's actually struggling. A small holding does not mean rich. It's a hard lifestyle. I don't see "dollar signs".
 LivvyH.
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 50
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Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 1:48:13 PM
Make sure it's something you can deal with in the long run. You say everything else is great. Give it a chance, see if it is something that you can "tolerate" for lack of a better term.
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