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 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 4
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should i let it go and get onPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If she cheated dump her. Sheesh. She only cheated a few times, so it's okay. BRO COME ON. Get your head out of the sand. SELF RESPECT AND LOVE.

I dunno if i understand your question because you aren't very clear.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 5
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should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:57:35 AM
It sounds as if you're saying it was wrong of her to sleep with a 40 yo. man.

If so, what exactly is the problem with that, and why do you think it's any of your business?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:08:56 AM
Patrick ... grow up!

It is NONE of your business who she slept with.
You accept her for who she is now ... or get the fvck out of her life.

NEVER, EVER, EVER ask who someone who they've slept with, especially if you can't handle the answer.

She is who she is because of what has happened in her life.
She is an amazing individual, and deserves someone who is the same.

YOU need to figure out what YOUR problem is.
Open the phone book and look up therapy.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 10
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:14:08 AM
her 1st boyfriend raped her,her 2nd boyfriend she walked in on him cheating with another woman

Yeah, not good. She's probably got (understandably) emotional issues. Nothing done wrong on her part, assuming she's not lying/exaggerating. But even then, the bottom line is that she's emotionally distraught.

she was 21 she went on 4 or 5 dates with a 40 year old man and she slept with him a few times over a 4 month period now this is what i thinks just wrong

Technically, if she was seeing a 40 year old guy when she's 21, as a sort of fling-thing, it isn't necessarily bad. Bad is 4 months of sleeping with 8 different dudes from the bar, ya know? If say you have a cute, developed 21 year old gal working as a waitress, and a ripped 40 year old guy who's one of the managers, and you find out when they were both single, were kinda seeing each other for 4 months -- who cares? The reason "40" is 'ewww' to those in their 20s is because most tend to be older, worn down = non-attractive. But not all. When I worked in a restaurant, there were some buff, older guys who the girls in their early 20s my age liked (as us guys always had a crush on a couple 30/40-something lady managers). And yes, for long-term relationships, the generation gap is too huge. But would it have been any "weirder" if the guy was 30? 25? No.

I think the weird part would be if he was some fat, bald 40 year old guy in which she had daddy issues about. That would be weird. But if he was an attractive older guy, found attractive by many gals of any age -- then his age doesn't matter for a fling, and it's just the same as if he was 25. Don't sweat it so much. You just don't like the fact that she got porked by other dudes without the aim for a relationship. That doesn't make her a slut. That's so little to go on. You should instead read how she is around guys, a thirst for flirty attention, respect toward you as your GF, and other things to see if she's cheat-bound. Not a past fling.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 11
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:23:46 AM
You have been going on and on about this for months. I RARELY recommend therapy but in your case, you would really benefit from it. She doesn't have a pattern of dating old men, just this brief encounter. She will (and should) dump you if you can't get over this and keep giving her hell about it.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 15
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:49:37 AM
OP, the past is the past.
Does she treat you well?
Do you enjoy each other's company?
That's all you need to analyze.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 18
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should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:02:21 PM
Almost a decade ago your gf had a few dates with a guy who was somewhat older. Not lots older, just older.

I don't generally head out into the hills with the younger lasses. When that does happen a little bit of minor hassle with their friends makes sense. Friends watch out for their girls. Most are sorta calm about things - they have dozens of gfs and know- 'hey-- most of us have been with older guys- we're hunteresses'. Still really serious bull-funk asswipe stupidity like you're spouting, even 10 years later- that guy would have to hope I didn't hear about it. Desparately.

The reason older guys date younger women is that the girls approach us about it. Guys have to have something direct, acute and seriously wrong to not go for it- cause they're not so happy with 'maybe'. Why they are interested is beyond me.
 JayneDoe40
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 20
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:39:07 PM
why do you care how old he was? (rolling eyes) everyone was an adult and people are people... he's just another number.

BUT, for the record...in my social circle we ALL say we've only slept with 5 guys regardless of how many it's really been *LOL* i've also heard guys say that no matter what # a woman gives you, multiply it by 5 and no matter how many a guy says, DIVIDE it by 2... just food for thought

LET IT GO. if you're lucky you'll be the LAST man she sleeps with.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 22
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:03:36 PM
So are you still going to have sex when you are 40????? You do understand how wrong it is for the two of you to have sex after you reach 40 your self...... How could your GF ever have sex with a 40 year old man... Hope that if you stay togher she never goes that way again and stop having sex with you on your 40th birthday...
Just grow up already and be a man for a change.
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 39
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:34:28 PM
when she was 21 she went on 4 or 5 dates with a 40 year old man and she slept with him a few times over a 4 month period now this is what i thinks just wrong but i love her but this to me is disgusting she says it was safety and she knew it was wrong thats why she only slept with him a handful of times so he got another woman, but i cant just get it out my head whats your opinions thanks
Ask again when you're 40.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 41
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should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:12:15 AM
Just because YOU wouldn't dream of doing something doesn't obligate everyone else to follow your guidelines for how to live their own lives. I wouldn't dream of smoking a cigarette, should the rest of the world become non-smokers? (Hey, there's a thought...... lol)

So what, she was 21, that's more than legally an adult. It was 9 years ago, you weren't anywhere near in the picture. When we're young, many of us are really flattered when an older guy shows an interest in us, we think we're oh so mature for our age, plus he probably has money to spend on us, yippee. When I was 21/22, I dated two different guys who were in their mid-30's. I thought I was the shizz. One I dated for a whole year, the other a couple months. Looking back now, neither one was any big deal, but at the time, I thought it really was.

For heaven's sake, it was ONE GUY, NINE FREAKING YEARS AGO, and she didn't know you then! Are you such a big hypocrite that you think you've done nothing when you were younger that you now look back on and think, "Geez, what was I thinking???"

I think the problem here is that, in your eyes, she CHOSE to have sex with someone else. #1 supposedly raped her, so it wasn't her fault. #2 cheated on her, so that absolved her of responsibility, too. But she CHOSE to get involved with the 40 year old and had sex with him, so that makes her a "bad girl" in your eyes, doesn't it?

Grow up, it's WAY in the past, WAY before you. Either accept how ridiculous your thinking is or let her go and find yourself an untouched virgin, pure as the driven snow.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 42
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should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:37:39 AM
I would like to know why you two had this conversation in the first place. Who cares about what happened in the past. If she isnt cheating on you why do you even want to know the details of her past sexual relationships? We all have pasts, do your own work and stop obsessing.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 47
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should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:59:09 AM

The previous things that happened to her were with guys her own age so I think that's what influenced why she had a brief fling with the older man she had known him a while so she explains to me that she felt safe and trusted him but she knew it was wrong for her and in the end she wouldn't sleep with him. She says she just wanted to be friends


Ok, good, you've got it figured out. NOW can you put it behind you and move on???
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 50
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/21/2013 2:15:19 PM
only 5 men? thats it? omg your dumb..she needs to dump you and get a real man.
my opinion is you have issues.
 Mrs.Bubbles
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 61
should i let it go and get on
Posted: 1/26/2013 3:53:43 AM
Well she slept with an older guy, it happens. Honestly if she is able to be open enough to tell you all about her past experiences than don't let this one thing run you off. Yea it is a little gross I guess but trust me if this is your only problem your lucky!
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