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 BabyBluesSoMd
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 23
Communication waning.... How to read?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
All great comments and I appreciate them. Even the ones I don't agree with...

Well, it seems my initial concerns might well still be present. As I said, yesterday I asked her is she was up for a phone chat in the afternoon. She said sure. Well in the early afternoon I called. It rang and rang and went to voicemail. I left a nice message to the tune of "Hey. Hope you're feeling better and getting some rest. I'm running some errands and then gonna hit the gym. I'll try you back later. I'm looking forward to talking to you" Later in the afternoon I tried again. It rang and rang and went to voicemail. This time I didn't leave a message. I waited about another hour (it was about 430 now) I tried one last time. It rang and rang and it went to voicemail. I left a very nice message to the tune of "Hey. I hope you feel better soon. I was hoping to chat with you today. If you'd like to chat too give me a call back. Have a great evening". Perhaps she will call today. Perhaps she won't. But I've given my best effort and I'm not sure there's much else I can do (or I'm willing to do).
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 24
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:06:55 AM

I believe in phone calls.
I got bashed for a post on this subject.
Because a man messaged me on POF instead of calling me, I was upset.
I believe he should have called me.
I was told to get with the times!


No, actually, you were told to pick up the phone and call yourself. But, you have decided you can't/won't.

OT, well, you have done what you should have. You've started the real "chase". Don't know if you can do anymore than you have,other than wait for a return call. I personally don't like a lot of texting intially as a form of communication during the "get to know you " stage. Yeah, it's a nice time waster, and a nice way to wish a "good morning" to someone, but, true communicatin????? It's tough,and a real easy to misinterpet what someone is trying to get across to ya.
 BabyBluesSoMd
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 25
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/19/2013 10:07:29 AM
All of this took place within like the last 10-12 days. First contact to today. We had spoken on the phone (as well as texts) and had our first lunch date just a week ago. That was the extent of the 'get-to-know' phase. The date was great and we really really communicated well. Things stayed great until about 2 days after the date. Then the intensity dropped.

I made my best effort.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 26
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/19/2013 10:47:27 AM
I've nothing really to add. You've been given so good advice. Even if she was still down with the flu she could have texted back saying, "Still unwell, don't feel like chatting, will get back to you.

My instinct tells me that she's not all that into you. Sorry.


...mae
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 27
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Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/19/2013 10:53:39 AM

All of this took place within like the last 10-12 days. First contact to today. We had spoken on the phone (as well as texts) and had our first lunch date just a week ago. That was the extent of the 'get-to-know' phase. The date was great and we really really communicated well. Things stayed great until about 2 days after the date. Then the intensity dropped.

I made my best effort.

Yes, OP, you made your best effort. You gave her the benefit of the doubt while being concerned about the "signals" that were present i.e. the lack of communication on her part. It would have been better had she grown a backbone and said that she didn't see any sort of future together but be thankful that no more than a few days were spent on your part wondering. You seem to be a very caring, sensitive and thoughtful man and there is a woman out there for you who will appreciate what you have to offer.
 dennigrain
Joined: 12/23/2012
Msg: 28
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/19/2013 7:15:43 PM
20 or 30 text messages per day. 'nuff said. :(
 NotyouraverageD
Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 29
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:13:11 AM
Don't panic.
Don't be needy.

Why call three times?

One time was enough. If she wants to, she'll get back to you.

If not, no worries.
 valjean1789
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 30
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Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/21/2013 1:14:22 PM
If you're such a great communicator (as you aver) why not phone her and try to communicate instead of posting on this site?
 btfly1961
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 31
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/23/2013 1:52:22 AM
You have done more communicating then I have seen. I dont get many messages. Resently, I have had one guy text me and talk on the phone but doesnt want to meet. He said he does but make no effort in doing so. I am not that forward of a person do make the first move. This has been going on for about a month now. This last guy just wants to text. He said he sort of leary about this site. All this texting and chating on the phone makes me feel like they are hiding something (like a girlfriend or a wife).
 realandloving
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 32
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/23/2013 9:45:16 AM
YES!!! I am SO glad you said that!! I tolerate only a finite amount of texting, and if she insists on continuing just that, I move on.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 33
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:09:23 PM
OP. She grew tired of your texting & the honeymoon is over or she met someone else and the sex is great! Lol
 Zender66
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 34
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:37:41 AM
OP,

Texting is never a substitute for talking, for actual communication. There are so many non-verbal cues that cannot be conveyed via text at all - and then to make matters worse, it becomes easy to "find" cues that weren't in the actual message. The phone call wins every time. Too many ways things go wrong via text.

Z
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 35
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:32:03 PM
we are adults...PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE AND CALL HER!

I don't get the hang up on this texing stuff.
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 36
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Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 1:40:58 PM

Posted By: chancesrmd
Maybe those 20-30 messages a day were not sustainable and things are just leveling out to what they should be.


A couple of thoughts - her flu thing I'd view as pretty legit -- and from what I've heard, this year's flu is particularly nasty - wouldn't surprise me if it knocked her down for longer than you might normally expect, or left her feeling washed out and not wanting to really communicate for a few days after even. And I think Chances' comment about sustainability is spot-on...it does sound like you've made an A-effort with her - but if you really thought she was a good fit, I'd "hang around" a bit longer and see what happens in the next couple of weeks with her...just letting her know you're still out there and interested.

One other thing that us guys may not think about - some women have harder periods than others, and are basically out of it for several days -- if a woman you're starting to communicate disappears for 2 days, don't freak - it may be as simple as that. Give her that female-cave-time.
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 37
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Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:23:23 PM
Trust me ---- the flu put me out the last month and a half - then a horrible sinus infection.... I am finally getting back to feeling "alive".... it was a horrible 2 months - slept thru both Christmas and New Years ....no fun. Give her a break. Maybe she was truthful, and if not - break free & move on.... my best to you!!
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 38
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:11:30 PM
".The one problem is because men so out number women on these sites "

I agree. there is another problem, though. There are many men, manier than me, who also have a car, a job, a house, a decent existence, friends, family, children. There are many men, manier than me, who can hold down a job and a girlfriend. And they brush their teeth daily. Most women draw the ligne right ther, they don't kiss a man with yellow-coated teeth. And these men go to church and give their paycheques to the wives. And a lot of men, more than I, are taller than me, and handsomer. And they sing at karaoke bars, and know actual dance steps. And are serious, not joking and making a nonsense of it like some others (let me not point fingers. At myself.) Some men are -- get this -- capable of drinking beer and loving their sweetheart.

That boggles the mind.

So... for me, it's not the large amount of men over the small amount of women that is the only problem; for me the problem also involves the large amount of men who squeeze me out form around the feeding trough, when they serve up some fresh meat.

Maybe I also need to work on the similes in my metaphors.
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 39
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:22:34 PM
"All this texting and chatting on the phone makes me feel like they are hiding something (like a girlfriend or a wife)."

Yes, they hide something, but not always as drastic as a wife in the closet or a mother-in-law the chimney shute.

I hide a lot of things, that make me unfit for dating. I must say that health problems can be totally invisible by the naked eye, so you don't see him naked, ever.

Women are worse at this. At least they were for me in my twenties, thirties and forties. I would ask out these incredibly good looking women, who showed me a lot of interest themselves, and they would refuse to put out or even to go out.

I much later realized that they could have had sad and curious health issues, which are not stigmatizing, but still embarrassing to the sufferer. Like a breast removal, or a glass eye, or a hip that went "crack" every time she would flip a pancake in the air. ETC. Dilation of the couret, or a carry-on dialysis machine for men. Men have prostate problems, and some have flatulence that keeps them from going on dates. In my case it's a double-whammy of a deadly case of a runny nose and smelly feet. They are related, you know. One can't exist without the other, because they need to get something in exchange in the trade -- the foots give up running, the nose gives up smelling. Fair trade, even Starbucks would approve of it.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 40
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:15:37 PM

- You can text waiting in line at the grocery store--try having a phone call then
- You can text at the doctors, dentist, hair salon while waiting for your turn--try sitting in a busy doctor's waiting room and talk on the phone
- You can text when someone else is driving and still have a decent conversation with them--try talking to someone on the phone and the person driving will feel left out


I don't have to try or imagine any of these scenarios - they happen DAILY. In fact, I find it unusual to get in a line at the grocery store where at least one or more people aren't on the phone - and sometimes it's ME.

The Doctor's & Dentists office are EVERYONE's mobile office. I hear business and see people typing on laptops or tablets routinely in these areas. Big large rooms with chairs and outlets to plug in your devices. Did you notice the same thing at airports? Yeah!

Talking on the phone leaves someone out of the conversation? Unless you're using a headphone or in a convertible with the top-down, EVERYONE in the car can hear your conversation. The speakerphone has been with us for over 50 years, so leaving people out is not an issue.
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