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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...      Home login  
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 Sexi_Poet
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 28
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Ndependentlady
"You even sport an ethnic hair style in one of your photos and dress in attire that accentuate the attributes that Black men break their necks to get a better look at."

My reply:
I'm not sure what my "ethnic hair style" has to do with meeting a white guy. Either he is into dating black women or not..my "ethnic hair style" as you say...is part of who I am. My hair, my clothes, my look changes on a daily basis..but one thing that never changes is my race. Thanks for your response.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 30
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 1:53:49 PM
ASK yourself what you like about white men? Some of the personality characteristics might be found in black men. Why are you narrowing your search just for white men? There is no one ethnic race that is all good or all bad. It might be easier to date anyone that has what you are looking for other than just one race. Write down your personality characteristics and specify in your ad what you are specifically looking for other than the color of their skin. Some races have more personality characteristics than other. The African American race tends to be more aggressive in most of how they deal with conflict with children, relationships, etc. while the Irish culture tends to love to drink and the Italian Sicilian culture tend to dominate their women. Each culture seems to bring along certain personality characteristics that dominate in their culture more than others. (other than the color of their skin)
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 31
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:01:06 PM
Did anyone see "Body Works" at the Science Museum a couple years ago? This was plastinated real bodies with the skin off and all you saw was what was inside and bodies were posed in different positions. We are all the same inside but different cultures dominate certain personality characteristics. List those personality characteristics you are looking for and look beyond the color of their skin.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 32
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:13:14 PM
i am always suspicious of minorities who only want to date whites or whites who only want to date minorities.
This includes my best friend in London. There is just something whacky about that.
 DevilfromToronto
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 33
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:21:27 PM

Well sorry to hit you with this but from what I know so far most white guys do not find the average black female attractive both for looks and attitude. That is why its sort of rare to see interracial couples where the guy is white and the woman is black. However, this is not true for white females they seem to find black men attractive even if he's not!
Asian men are not found attractive by white females either.


800megawatts, you are to funny. How can you speak for what others want and don't want. Each person is different.


I found the same of 800megawatts said as reality
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 34
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:21:26 PM

Then along comes an email with their penis size stated ... as if that is what its all about ?


It's the combination of creepy guys, and the fact that there's some women out there, who because of porn, honestly believe that a black guy really is HUGE just because he's black (I've actually seen it in profiles, and had a few tell me in conversation), so some white guys are telling you that, thinking the stereotype is the reason you prefer black men.

But most of the time it's just cuz they're really creepy.
 Kodiak63
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 35
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:21:29 PM
Why is it hard to meet black lady's? I have tried to meet black lady's but finding someone that is of interest and attracts me is difficult. Most don't want white men.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 36
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:31:39 PM
Having a Racial Preference should not Exclude everyone thats not it. Example I prefer to have Fruit
loops for breakfast but I'm open to try other cereals. But anyway I'm sure OP has gotten messages from white and black men. And you will always get more of your own race trying to contact you in person or online. I say don't be so quick to judge by skin tone and hair texture. You never know who may really make you happy
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 37
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:42:20 PM
(I'm not sure what my "ethnic hair style" has to do with meeting a white guy. Either he is into dating black women or not..my "ethnic hair style" as you say...is part of who I am. My hair, my clothes, my look changes on a daily basis..but one thing that never changes is my race. )

Hi OP, good answer...whether you date a black or white male, you should never change your appearance, your beliefs or anything else for that matter. By doing so, you are cheating both yourself and the guy. There are different types of black women as there are white men, so there is no reason to be anything you are not.

I would, however, change your profile a bit. I would include a photo showing your figure...and no, I don't mean wearing something revealing, just something that gives the guy an idea of your body type.

I agree with what some of the other posters said, it can depend upon your environment:

-Is it somewhat common to see white men with black women in your area?

-Do you reside in a neighborhood that is mostly black, mostly white, or a melting pot?

-Do you have a lot of white or non-black female friends?

Depending upon your answer, you might have to step out of your zone and start doing things in a completely different environment. As far as off-line, I would think of the popular events/hobbies that are common in your area where you would find a lot of the particular type of white males you are looking for...but of course only choose the events/hobbies that you are genuinely interested in. Also, there's a "meet up" website that has different activities such as co-ed sports, wine tasting events, political-related activities, etc.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 38
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:40:12 PM
Men on this site? Betting the username Chicago Kiss has something to do with it.

Chicago: Center of corruption, known across the land for flash mobs, and dirty underhanded politics. Looked at your profile, saw you're actually in Ohio. If you can change your username, try something without "Chicago".

So much for Shakespeare... What's in a name?
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 39
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:57:22 PM
I don't know about where you live, but if you are looking right in your area you have to ask yourself if you have seen many white men there with black women. I would guess that the less urban the area, the less you would see that. I think you need to follow SOME of the pointers others gave as far as being upfront about it in your profile and doing searches for white men who state they prefer black women. You've chosen a rougher place than normal to fish, but hey! more power to you and good luck!
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 40
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 8:21:02 PM
The type of bait you use is gonna reflect the type of fish you catch.
The style that we exhibit externally says a lot about who we are and how we are received and perceived by others .
I understand your look changes daily as far as you attire, just like every other lady here we change our clothing too.
As far as your ethnic hair style choices changing daily, we both know black hair care, it don't change daily or get washed nightly unless you own your own hair salon as I do, but not even I put in the effort to do that .
MissKiss, you can fool people some of the time and yourself all the time, but you ain't fooling me none of the time.
We are both live in Ohio and I've lived here my entire life and know very well the types of fish in Lake Erie , so keep it real on the diversity issue OK , what you prefer is plentiful here, you just can't catch them with your bait.
Let's look at what visually appeals to the black guys fair skin wide hips bouncee boobs and attitude . Cool, now the average white guy seems to prefer petite mild mannered long hair petite ladies with agreeable personalities , these are the norms you see in large racial balanced suburban communities like ours.
In real life successful adults change the things they need to in order to get the things they want.
If you got a job interview with the prestigious Ernst and Young accounting firm here in Ohio that required you to dress for success, would you change your ethnic look daily to get in if they wanted you?
And as far as #48 "stay as you are'' cool ,if it achieving results Gr8!, but "one size don't fit all" here, and you know it.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 41
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 9:22:09 PM
OP ..
I think, it would increase your chances, if you make first contact
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 42
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/19/2013 9:51:41 PM
Does that mean she should contact you 1st? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm inquiring minds wanna know.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 43
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 1:33:25 AM
(And as far as #48 "stay as you are'' cool ,if it achieving results Gr8!, but "one size don't fit all" here, and you know it.)

If you refer to my post, I never said "one size fits all" because I know there are different types of white men. Besides, I do not reside in your area, so even if that was the case...I wouldn't be aware of it since I'm in NYC. I advised OP to "think of the popular events/hobbies that are common in your area where you would find a lot of the particular type of white males you are looking for...but of course only choose the events/hobbies that you are genuinely interested in." Notice I said particular type of white males...

I said this because, as a black woman who has been dating and actually has had relationships with white men, I know first hand there are white men who find different things appealing. There are white men who like thin women, some like curvy (what curvy really should mean instead of the way most people use it) women...some only date mixed race looking black women, or medium skin, or dark skin...and some white guys will date black women of all of the skin tones if they are compatible. As far as her hair, I made the comment to OP because I feel if a woman truly likes how she looks, she should not suddenly change if it is not who she is/isn't the way she wants to look.

I've lived in New England and New York City, and even temporarily in Hong Kong...I've never had an issue with meeting white men (whether American or European) who were interested in me, and while I don't have an issue approaching white men...many approach me not only on this site, but I'm especially referring to my every day life. The way I wear my hair, my vocabulary/tone of voice, to the way I dress is ME...I would never think of changing myself into being something that isn't the real me just to get a man, regardless of his ethnicity. I've seen some black women who HAVE tried this tactic in order to obtain a white man, but it doesn't last for too long...because the truth eventually comes out...they only look foolish.
 GADAWG64
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 44
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 12:32:19 PM
because we are not sure if women of color dates us.
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 47
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 2:23:14 PM
There you go Sis, you got one on the hook, ready, willing and able !
ENJOY!!
As you can see all the Sisters that have posted on your behalf have had absolutely no problem, and we are all in different areas and age groups, So what's your problem?????
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 51
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:33:12 PM
What about the guys who show up in the list "users who have viewed your profile" or what about the white men in your list of "want to meet you?"

If you do not want to contact the men featured in either of those lists, start sending initial emails...that's the only way you will potentially meet someone from this site if you are not getting messages from guys you are interested in.

If this isn't working, I would try multiple dating sites in addition to putting yourself in environments where you are likely to meet a pool of whatever type of white man you are looking for.
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 52
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:13:52 PM
#59
[Like you have to be an "oreo" to like white guys...gimme a break. One does not have to physically or socially portray the image of what they want in a mate. Some people actually prefer variety, variations on a theme. So, if the OP likes white guys who have dreadlocks, wear cowboy boots, or those in polo shirts, she should still dress and style her hair exactly the way she wants. She is she!!! ]

[Jeez, people. Really!!!???! Still with the racial bull. I have seen plenty of white male/ black female couples.]

Nobody here posted any "racial bull" until you chimed in with that absurd term "oreo" WTF! Do you even know what that implies? ( an African American who's black on the outside and white on the inside) .
Have you ever seen one ?
Do you have any data to support they even exist??
If the answer to either of these questions is NO...
B!tch, how dare you, if I wanted some racial bullsh!t I'd squeeze your head cause that's where it's plentiful .
I think OP can defend herself if she felt she needed to, and if she needed assistance, I doubt you'd be her 1st. choice.
She came here with a concern in order to change something (results) and your advice is to change nothing??
Doing the same thing and expecting different results is INSANE by definition, we were simply sharing with her some options that just might enhance her results.
FYI....And in Ohio were OP and I both reside, there are many Very Happy Interracial Couples and Families.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 54
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:22:16 PM
I think it was message #11 who first mentioned "Oreo." BTW, just in case anyone doesn't know or pretends not to know, the term "oreo" is considered by most black people a derogatory name for a black person who is:

*Well-spoken, has a strong command of the English language as opposed to speaking in a ghetto or ebonics nature

*Tends to dress classic as opposed to wearing ethnic or urban wear (different black people have the ability to have different fashion preferences, that's all...while I've never worn braids or dreadlocks, there's NOTHING wrong with a person who does)

*Conducts themselves with class

*Is "cultured" and is open-minded to having diverse interests/hobbies

It is the same thing as calling a white person a "w*gger."

I've been called an oreo PLENTY of times growing up and even as an adult...shocked that adults even use this phrase! And unfortunately, I get it from BOTH blacks and whites. Many black people who act in a ghetto type/ignorant way will use this term towards me as a form of backlash, accusing me of not being "black enough."

When I've encountered certain white people... once they have a conversation with and discover I'm well versed on certain topics, discover some of my accomplishments, or look at the way I dress...some of them have playfully called me an oreo once they've known me a bit...but in a way that it's supposed to be meant as a compliment...but I know how to put them in their place.

My career has consistently placed me within an environment where I am often the only black person...or maybe there will only be 1 or two other black people. I used to work with a particular white woman...we often went to lunch together and we had the opportunity to travel both domestically and internationally for meetings. No matter where we went, there would frequently be a white man (who happened to be relatively to very attractive/educated corporate types) who would approach me. She was used to seeing black men with white women...but you could tell she wasn't used to seeing white men approaching black women, let alone highly educated white men. She was even with me when I met a man who I ended up dating several years ago. He has a PhD and is a senior executive in the finance industry. She once made a comment like "wow, white men sure have the hots for you...you're like their little oreo!" (As if that was supposed to be flattering?! WHY do some white people feel by telling a black person they appear to be "less black" that it should be taken as a compliment?! By no means do I feel every man should find me attractive, but I shouldn't have to change myself, nor should he. Why can't I just be "me?"). My response was "if you carry yourself well and act like a lady, you will have the ability to attract a variety of men. I have the ability to connect with any man in an intellectual, sexual, and spiritual way...regardless of his race." And no, I didn't say it in a "telling you off/oh no you didn't type of way..." I said it in a very confident, articulate tone...she slightly turned red...and she never commented about white men finding me attractive again.

I'm very realistic...by no means do I feel ALL white men do or should find black women attractive, nor would I expect them to...just like when you're dating within your ethnicity, no ones owes you a thing when it comes deciding to give someone a chance. And while it is documented there are more IR marriages between black men and white women, it is also a fact that there has been an increase of black women who ARE exploring their options as well.

I'm not quite sure if it is due to my locations (New England and NYC), but I find whenever I do encounter black women and white men in long-term dating or even married, both parties are most likely educated and solid middle to middle-upper class.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 55
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:46:38 PM

and culturally one may assume that just because you are black, you may not be well spoken, you may only care for gangsta rap whatever the stereotype is people may go to that first thinking perhaps we have nothing in common


sounds like if she is all the above then she must as well pack and run to the hood guys.
Or just choose to be herself..whatever she is and let the chips fall where they may. Minorities don't have to be smoothened out for the slave master any more..nor for that matter be anything other than themselves to be acceptable to men in their own race.
 rustyrusss1
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 56
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:12:51 PM
If interracial marriage statistics are any indicator, you'll have a difficult time finding a white male.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 57
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:40:05 PM
rustyrusss1,

someone posted that typical white males who date black women are open minded and well educated.

You fall short in one category. The other is unknown
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 58
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:15:51 PM
(If interracial marriage statistics are any indicator, you'll have a difficult time finding a white male.)

No one is saying white men are marrying black women in record amounts. But what I am saying is within the past 10-15 years in particular, there HAS been an increase of black women dating and some of which have married outside of their race. Just within my immediate family, there are numerous IR marriages and long-term IR relationships...and of course I know it not the norm...but it is happening. Try telling that to my nieces who have fathers who are Irish-American, one from Italy, and Spain...and these particular nieces are between 20-30 y/o. Or try saying that to some of my cousins, most of which are either several years younger or older than me. Try telling that to one of my older sisters, who has been in a 6 year relationship (her only IR relationship) with a white man and just got a house on Martha's Vineyard for their primary residence, who has given her an engagement ring about 3 years ago...yet she doesn't want to marry since she's been married before...and they're happy.

I honestly don't even think IR dating is for everyone. If you feel like you have to try to act, dress, speak a certain way, or enjoy certain activities that you normally wouldn't in order to get a significant other...it's not worth it.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 59
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:27:55 PM

Really? I am only looking for a black guy, and my inbox has been bursting with all of these white guys wanting to chat with me. I don't think it's hard ....


You're also only looking for friends. For you, it makes more sense for that to be happening since a lot of times people don't limit their friends to their sexual preferences.
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