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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...      Home login  
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 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 51
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well, I have never dated outside my race, but lately I have been up to the idea. Most of my girlfriends date white guys. Any ways, white guys hit me up ALL THE TIME. I looked at your profile, I don't see anything wrong with it. And the thing about having natural hair and wearing tight clothes is BS!! White men who are into black women, are into black women because they like the way black women look. Men in general like things that are DIFFERENT. I mean, and I hate to sound crass, but if u have ever watched gay porn, u will see that men are in to all types of shit, and as a woman, it has help me let my inhibitions come down. Men are what they are, but trust me, u don't have to change anything about u, and u don't have to advertise that u like white men, thats stupid!! If u see a guy that catches ur eye, then make ur presence know.
 imortle_b_lovd
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 52
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 2:51:09 PM
well put, _passionflower
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 53
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:33:12 PM
What about the guys who show up in the list "users who have viewed your profile" or what about the white men in your list of "want to meet you?"

If you do not want to contact the men featured in either of those lists, start sending initial emails...that's the only way you will potentially meet someone from this site if you are not getting messages from guys you are interested in.

If this isn't working, I would try multiple dating sites in addition to putting yourself in environments where you are likely to meet a pool of whatever type of white man you are looking for.
 ndependentlady
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 54
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:13:52 PM
#59
[Like you have to be an "oreo" to like white guys...gimme a break. One does not have to physically or socially portray the image of what they want in a mate. Some people actually prefer variety, variations on a theme. So, if the OP likes white guys who have dreadlocks, wear cowboy boots, or those in polo shirts, she should still dress and style her hair exactly the way she wants. She is she!!! ]

[Jeez, people. Really!!!???! Still with the racial bull. I have seen plenty of white male/ black female couples.]

Nobody here posted any "racial bull" until you chimed in with that absurd term "oreo" WTF! Do you even know what that implies? ( an African American who's black on the outside and white on the inside) .
Have you ever seen one ?
Do you have any data to support they even exist??
If the answer to either of these questions is NO...
B!tch, how dare you, if I wanted some racial bullsh!t I'd squeeze your head cause that's where it's plentiful .
I think OP can defend herself if she felt she needed to, and if she needed assistance, I doubt you'd be her 1st. choice.
She came here with a concern in order to change something (results) and your advice is to change nothing??
Doing the same thing and expecting different results is INSANE by definition, we were simply sharing with her some options that just might enhance her results.
FYI....And in Ohio were OP and I both reside, there are many Very Happy Interracial Couples and Families.
 ladysuccubus
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 55
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:30:51 PM
Why don't you approach them first? I know a few white guys that love black women.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 56
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:22:16 PM
I think it was message #11 who first mentioned "Oreo." BTW, just in case anyone doesn't know or pretends not to know, the term "oreo" is considered by most black people a derogatory name for a black person who is:

*Well-spoken, has a strong command of the English language as opposed to speaking in a ghetto or ebonics nature

*Tends to dress classic as opposed to wearing ethnic or urban wear (different black people have the ability to have different fashion preferences, that's all...while I've never worn braids or dreadlocks, there's NOTHING wrong with a person who does)

*Conducts themselves with class

*Is "cultured" and is open-minded to having diverse interests/hobbies

It is the same thing as calling a white person a "w*gger."

I've been called an oreo PLENTY of times growing up and even as an adult...shocked that adults even use this phrase! And unfortunately, I get it from BOTH blacks and whites. Many black people who act in a ghetto type/ignorant way will use this term towards me as a form of backlash, accusing me of not being "black enough."

When I've encountered certain white people... once they have a conversation with and discover I'm well versed on certain topics, discover some of my accomplishments, or look at the way I dress...some of them have playfully called me an oreo once they've known me a bit...but in a way that it's supposed to be meant as a compliment...but I know how to put them in their place.

My career has consistently placed me within an environment where I am often the only black person...or maybe there will only be 1 or two other black people. I used to work with a particular white woman...we often went to lunch together and we had the opportunity to travel both domestically and internationally for meetings. No matter where we went, there would frequently be a white man (who happened to be relatively to very attractive/educated corporate types) who would approach me. She was used to seeing black men with white women...but you could tell she wasn't used to seeing white men approaching black women, let alone highly educated white men. She was even with me when I met a man who I ended up dating several years ago. He has a PhD and is a senior executive in the finance industry. She once made a comment like "wow, white men sure have the hots for you...you're like their little oreo!" (As if that was supposed to be flattering?! WHY do some white people feel by telling a black person they appear to be "less black" that it should be taken as a compliment?! By no means do I feel every man should find me attractive, but I shouldn't have to change myself, nor should he. Why can't I just be "me?"). My response was "if you carry yourself well and act like a lady, you will have the ability to attract a variety of men. I have the ability to connect with any man in an intellectual, sexual, and spiritual way...regardless of his race." And no, I didn't say it in a "telling you off/oh no you didn't type of way..." I said it in a very confident, articulate tone...she slightly turned red...and she never commented about white men finding me attractive again.

I'm very realistic...by no means do I feel ALL white men do or should find black women attractive, nor would I expect them to...just like when you're dating within your ethnicity, no ones owes you a thing when it comes deciding to give someone a chance. And while it is documented there are more IR marriages between black men and white women, it is also a fact that there has been an increase of black women who ARE exploring their options as well.

I'm not quite sure if it is due to my locations (New England and NYC), but I find whenever I do encounter black women and white men in long-term dating or even married, both parties are most likely educated and solid middle to middle-upper class.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 57
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:46:38 PM

and culturally one may assume that just because you are black, you may not be well spoken, you may only care for gangsta rap whatever the stereotype is people may go to that first thinking perhaps we have nothing in common


sounds like if she is all the above then she must as well pack and run to the hood guys.
Or just choose to be herself..whatever she is and let the chips fall where they may. Minorities don't have to be smoothened out for the slave master any more..nor for that matter be anything other than themselves to be acceptable to men in their own race.
 rustyrusss1
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 58
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:12:51 PM
If interracial marriage statistics are any indicator, you'll have a difficult time finding a white male.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 59
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:40:05 PM
rustyrusss1,

someone posted that typical white males who date black women are open minded and well educated.

You fall short in one category. The other is unknown
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 60
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:15:51 PM
(If interracial marriage statistics are any indicator, you'll have a difficult time finding a white male.)

No one is saying white men are marrying black women in record amounts. But what I am saying is within the past 10-15 years in particular, there HAS been an increase of black women dating and some of which have married outside of their race. Just within my immediate family, there are numerous IR marriages and long-term IR relationships...and of course I know it not the norm...but it is happening. Try telling that to my nieces who have fathers who are Irish-American, one from Italy, and Spain...and these particular nieces are between 20-30 y/o. Or try saying that to some of my cousins, most of which are either several years younger or older than me. Try telling that to one of my older sisters, who has been in a 6 year relationship (her only IR relationship) with a white man and just got a house on Martha's Vineyard for their primary residence, who has given her an engagement ring about 3 years ago...yet she doesn't want to marry since she's been married before...and they're happy.

I honestly don't even think IR dating is for everyone. If you feel like you have to try to act, dress, speak a certain way, or enjoy certain activities that you normally wouldn't in order to get a significant other...it's not worth it.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 61
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:27:55 PM

Really? I am only looking for a black guy, and my inbox has been bursting with all of these white guys wanting to chat with me. I don't think it's hard ....


You're also only looking for friends. For you, it makes more sense for that to be happening since a lot of times people don't limit their friends to their sexual preferences.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 62
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:30:02 PM
I didn't read all of this thread, don't know if this has been mentioned, but you could consider trying these things:

You might consider being more aggressive and emailing them first. I know it's traditional for men to make most of the first moves, but women can and do ask guys out all the time.

Try the offline world as well... take classes/clubs/activities where there are a lot of white guys... go to the golf driving range where they practice hitting golf balls and try to hit some.... maybe one of the guys will offer to help you with your stance, LOL!
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 63
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:52:47 PM

Well sorry to hit you with this but from what I know so far most white guys do not find the average black female attractive both for looks and attitude.


I'm sure most men would not agree with you about the way black women look ,
However, I do find the Michelle Obama "I hate america" attitude a turn off
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 64
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:28:51 AM
Do you contact white guys you think you might like? I haven't checked your profile but do you mention that?
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 65
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 9:38:51 AM
(maybe it has something to do with geography?
some states/cities it seems more common than others that mixed race couples exist.)

I kind of agree with you. By no means would I assume everyone from an area is against it, but I do feel there are certain areas that have a larger population of people who either are dead set against it, or they avoid it because "life would be easier," due to being surrounded around people who are against it...

When I first started participating in the forums, there was a younger black woman who lived in the deep south, I think Mississippi if memory serves me. According to her photos and profile, she was attractive, educated, and had diverse interests...there was absolutely nothing about her profile that displayed anything negative. We ended up communicating with each other off-line. She said it was VERY difficult for her to find a white male to date. Most of the white men on this site who did approach her were looking for intimate encounters (even though she had that restriction on her mail settings), some were dating white women but "wanted a black woman on the side." Some even told her while they found certain black women attractive, but they knew a relationship could never result because of their family and living environment. She didn't have luck when she emailed guys either...and this young lady was actually very pretty. She has a career that she can do anywhere in the US. I told her she should move. It's been quite a while since we've chatted, so I don't know what became of her. No matter who you are looking for, some people will have luck, some will not.

I've also had a few white males who live in other areas of the country, like the South and Midwest who have contacted me. Some of them did because of things I've said in the forums. We've discussed their experiences and how IR dating is perceived by their family and community. One white guy who grew up in 2 areas of the South said he found some black women attractive, but his family were dead set that any non-white person was to be avoided unless you had to interact with them in a workplace...or regular day-to-day setting, such as a grocery store or a restaurant...so he felt it was unfair to bring a black woman into that type of scenario. Another white guy told me he was never allowed to bring a black or even latin person to his house growing up, even if they were just friends. The majority of his family were racists....he said they act polite to black people when they had to interact with them, but if anyone dated outside the ethnicity, they would be banished from the family forever. I've also chatted with white guys from different parts of the country who have said they're parents would be OK to them dating a black woman, but they had to look a certain way and have a certain lifestyle, such as not being unmarried with kids and having an education. I playfully told one guy "if they're expecting a Beyonce or Vanessa Williams with a Harvard degree to show up, good luck...because we as black women come in all shapes/colors/lifestyles."
 DiscreteFriendship
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 66
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 9:42:41 AM
I've been here since 09, and have not meet a single woman yet. I wish you were near riverside calif. I would love to chat with you. I would like to meet any woman at this point. I think this is a joke, but I'D keep coming back. I get messages, but when I open them, there allway cancelled.
Wish I could have your problem. You get emails you don't want, and I can't get any. Go figure. Just my luck.

From one starving dude.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 67
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:17:58 AM
(I've been here since 09, and have not meet a single woman yet. I wish you were near riverside calif. I would love to chat with you. I would like to meet any woman at this point.) I think this is a joke, but I'D keep coming back.)

Let's see, where do I start here...you're a white male who is looking for a discrete relationship and isn't seeking a relationship of any kind, and most of all....(Drum roll)...YOU ARE MARRIED!

Do you honestly THINK a decent woman on this site who is looking for a real relationship (regardless of ethnicity) is going to suddenly settle for someone like you? Perhaps you should seek out women who openly state they are looking for one night stands or affairs. And if you're looking for a black woman, you're the PERFECT example who, whether online or in day-to-day life, actually seeks out black women for this very purpose...it's already bad enough certain people in society look at black women as "2nd best" in comparison to other backgrounds, but when married white men blatantly seek out single black women honestly believing we should accept this lifestyle...I just shake my head.

Thank you oh so kindly for coming to this forum, as you've just presented to everyone a prime example as to what some black women have to face if we are open to IR dating...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 68
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:23:04 AM
When you know exactly what you want you have to be pro-active and go looking for it. Waiting for it to find you will take forever. Discreetly put it in your profile that you enjoy dating guys from all races. Then flirt/message white guys you like.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 69
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:06:18 PM
That's weird. I know lots of white guys that have dated and married black women. I think you just need to keep trying. I know it is frustrating, but you have to keep trying and stay positive. You will meet the right man for you!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 70
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:12:28 PM
800megawatz

"Well sorry to hit you with this but from what I know so far most white guys do not find the average black female attractive both for looks and attitude. That is why its sort of rare to see interracial couples where the guy is white and the woman is black. However, this is not true for white females they seem to find black men attractive even if he's not!
Asian men are not found attractive by white females either."

I know what you are getting at, but I think this is definitely changing. I know many white guys that have married or dated black women. More and more people are dating and marrying outside of their race, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. People should date whom they want and marry who is right for them. I seem to be the odd white woman that does find Asian men attractive, I guess. I was married to a guy who was Chinese and Swiss, engaged to a Korean, and seriously dated a man that was half Philipino & German. Now, none of this was because I only liked Asian men, it's just how things turned out. I also find Hispanic men, and white men attractive, too! But yes...some people DO have a "type."
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 71
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:21:37 PM
nice ad for yourself Larissan04 :)

the minute 800 Mega mentioned "attitude" it became a stereotypical comment...nullified any points he was making
 summer_man
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 72
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:33:46 PM
You just like their white halves! Haha, j/k.

Seriously though if a guy is interested he'll message you, me I like mixing it up with the different colors of the rainbow because I can get any of them. I feel bad for my Asian friends (East, West, South, whatever) because they aren't as highly prized as me, but you can't fault me for that. Can't help it girls like "tall" guys.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 73
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:21:03 PM
I didn't see many white men / black women relationships when I was growing up. But within the past 10 years, I think WM / BW relationships have become more common.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 74
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:33:50 PM
You're correct, larissan04...things are changing. Within in the past 5-10 years, I'm seeing an increase of various types of Asian men with white women.

Just like the BW/WM relationship, whenever I've encountered the white woman/asian man relationship, both people are more than likely educated, solid middle to middle-upper class...

It will be interesting to see how dating trends change within America in the next 25 years...
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 75
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Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:49:46 PM
OP...
I would go for a name change...

IDigWhiteDudes
Lookn4AWhiteGuy

Just for starters
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