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 smoothie1969
Joined: 11/18/2012
Msg: 26
Are my hurt feelings justified?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hello my friend,

Dating is not an easy thing to do now a day and it really takes hard work to make a relationship work. Dating someone for three months really isn't that long and you really don't know that person really good, so keep that in mind. However, you stated ( I'll prefix by saying this isn't the first time she's done something similar to what I'm about to explain, that hurt my feelings.) So, I am curious to know why are you so surprises about what she told you or done?

Really you need to think if this is the right woman for you or if this is the kind of relationship you want. You know there are women out there who really do not need their ego polish or need to make their boyfriend jealous to feel that they are loved by their boyfriend. You have to face that your girlfriend gets a fix by doing this why does she has the need to go to someone else to talk about her depression or why she is depressed? Couldn't she talk to you? Or a counselor? I am sorry she hurt your feeling and by the look of it, it won't be the last time either since it seemed that your feeling does not matter to her since she has not offered you an apology for what she said to you.

Hey why don't you ask her for Mike phone number and go out for a drink with him and talk about her and see what you can get from him....Do you have female friend that you can turn around and talk too? See if she likes it or not....just some idea. But if you really like this woman then I sincerely, suggest that you have a heart to heart talk to her about your like and dislike and let her know how it really bother you and hurt your feeling that she says things like that and if she turns around and do it again then that should be a red flag to move on my friend. I have a saying "sometimes I have to dig through the garbage to find that diamond." Good Luck.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 27
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:48:05 PM
PittsburghVixen, Honestly, she's really not that hot. Or at least, not really my type. My preference in petite brunette's and she's a 5'9" blond with a decent face and body. She's a 7 or 8 in my opinion. So I'm a little taken back when she talks like she's the talk of the town and every guy who sees her is interested in her. She has stated on several occasions that EVERY guy that has ever dated her, wanted to continue dating her.

She's 35.
 beneboo
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 28
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:57:46 PM
I do think your feelings are justified but this type of behavior is just going to become more intense and potentially, more insidious, in the future. Women like that usually have wandering eyes and will claim that you're not giving them enough attention as a justification to f*ck around with the Mikes and Trinitys (srsly, with that name like that, HOW could he be a 10!??!) because they crave male attention, any and every male.

Good luck in your relationship....whatever you decide.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 29
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:58:17 PM
Good Lord. She is 35?! She REALLY needs to grow up and put her big girl panties on.

Honestly, it's kind of sad that she needs the constant validation.
 GangnamStyle1969
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 30
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:15:17 PM
LOL I knew a ex NYC model who quit when she got pregnant. She never flirted or bragged how she hot she was. She did show me her profile when she was younger. Her boyfriend is a total ass when drunk. Anyways most women who are very hot don't need to do that kind of crap. I never even wanted to date her, she was in drugs and yelled at her daughter a night time. I know this because I lived in the basement part of the house and she lived upstairs. Having a very attractive woman isn't better than less attractive, there's flaws, they are ordinary people.

I don't have a jealous bone in my body, I was jealous of a guy once in my early twenties because he had a girl I liked but when she spoke to me that I was being foolish I grew up. Jealousy is a waste of energy.
 TRESemme1
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 31
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:39:22 PM
i do NOT think that she will ever stop doing this, you know, hurting your feelings....i think she is that type of woman that will break your heart and leave you for another guy and you will have a hard time getting over...i think you should kick her big behind right to the curb before you get very, very deeply in love with her...if you want to come out of this alive and not so badly damaged and obliterated by her hurting ways.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 32
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:53:56 PM
If your on here looking for a long term relationship, why should this even be an issue? It maybe she is not into you and is trying to let you down easy. The cop is cheering her up but your not. That kind of tells you something right there. Don't you think?
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 33
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:02:51 PM
She's manipulating you a bit. Do you feel that should be successful or is it almost as much fun to not react to something as minor as discovering that the sun will actually rise tomorrow.

Don't play with the poffer/relationship language and drama so much. I mean accusing her of being narcisstic, or investing time in her minor spiffing around with other suitors. Its just sad.

If someone else cheered her up great. Island relationships don't work so well and maybe its worthwhile realizing there's a bit of competition. You don't want them to win, but not having anyone competing isn't a good thing either.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 34
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:18:06 AM
What would that 'wink' even mean?? - 'We got intimate and now I feel better' ??? only thing I can think of...

She sounds like a total idiot.

Sounds like something my cousin would do, and she did it because she had the lowest self esteem ever.

She needed the attention to prove she was worth something.

Sounds like your girlfriend might have similar issues; bascially, low self esteem, and uses it to hurt others in order to make herself feel good.

I vote to ditch her, because she wont change.


I will not date anyone who still wants to be friends with her Ex... End of story...


I wouldnt date someone who is enemies with all their exs. I'm friends with all my exs except one. But not friends to the extent of contacting them regularly and hanging out with them.
Theres a difference....It's fine to be friends still, but i dont agree with using them as an emotional crutch when your seeing someone else.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 35
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:27:02 AM
Ahhh, Shwaeeet! I did not know at my age, I was still allowed to rank women on a sliding scale , with 1 being the absolute lowest, and 10 being the crème of the crème…I think I will start with this post;

DameWrite, Woo, look at this gem 8.5, (bias to the profile)
HelenBackAgain 8 .1
Aww-Ree 8.2
Abbeygirl58 9
daynadaze 8 - I enjoy your posts…
Vannili 7.5
MetalVixxn 8.8
OOhMeeOhhMy 8.2, have this fetish for glasses
sunFORsome 8.7 –Dress is smoking
PittsburghVixen 8
smoothie1969 7.8
beneboo 7
TRESemme1 7.3
cautiousluv 8.3 Funny…
ENGRIND90 7.5
0ldhag 8 , lol great opening

*Disclamier*(This rating system/scale and conceived results are for entertainment purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect the view of the issuer, (though the said, read all the profiles and viewed all graphic material). Copy right is strictly prohibited, unless due process is issued by the ratees.
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 36
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:28:08 AM
If all these guys want her so bad, tell her to go for it, have fun ...
And make yourself available to the nearest exit and for a woman who has more substance.
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 37
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:37:12 AM
I don't know where your head at, OP.

You got this tall broad with a good face and a killer body, but you want a smaller petite brunette.

You hate this girl's personality so much, that three months into the relationship you are complaining.

---------------------

I don't believe you, simply put, that you prefer a short brunette. Everyone wants a blonde, and that is a universal truth. Gay guys want a blonde too, a blonde guy. Nothing tops blonde.

Also... a police man wants her, and cheers her up when he calls, but she is with YOU... a jet propulsion scientist calls her from MIT, he cheers her up but she is with YOU... A Mahatma Ghandi / Arnold Schwartzenegger type of guy calls her and cheers her up... but she is with you.

I can't say I am sorry for you. She is with YOU. Must be a reason. All these guys want to be with her. But they are not. Why?Because she is with YOU.

Cut the crap. You are happy with her, and if you are not, then it's you who is the unfortunate one, not her. Becasuse you are fortunate enough to have her, you are immature too much to know what it means to have her.

This may be the very reason that the entire universe cheers her up but you.

"Ube quo divum pro eppur sustenaum, se ite tu est verloren geworden sein."
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 38
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:40:38 AM
"Good Lord. She is 35?! She REALLY needs to grow up and put her big girl panties on."

Big... girl... panties?? Uiyrgh. You are scaring me.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 39
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:57:31 AM
Grow up and understand you are privilleged, to be in a woman's life, so work hard on at maintaining the relationship ,or move over and let the better take the reins.

Oh and do listen to what she says jump when she says jump, and be there for her,we women don't speak a load of self BULL,we are the mothers of million,unique,special and can be fragile

We know what we want and need and we are fed up with piffeling atitudes, and responces of less than onto a it men.

Good on you Mike, we all need more Mikes.


Woman to woman : Catch it !! what I am throwing to you with tenderness ,since you are fragile You are full of BULL sh its and the GF of the OP is your twin both of you should get a puppet with a wooden CO CK so when you says jump it will jump into your "youknow what"..

As for for this Mike who cheer her up and
bought her some flowers on first date ,I don't believed it unless I saw it with my own two eyes. KISS AND TELL ARE LIES specially to make their boyfriend jealous or torment, some stupid women strategies, they think they can make the men love and respect them as a woman, but they are the one who is hurting themself they are nothing but some Whores .
I thank God that I am not fragile and Dumb.. And my chassis is not like a taxicab sadly not all the men in this world ride on me ,so count me out of mothering millions, nah I mean a dozen, contribution to the millions...

Vannili
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 40
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 2:19:35 AM

Maybe if you ask her what shes depressed about and listened to her then in return told her that what she is doing is bothering you, then take it from there.

Well, but that would make sense, and might solve the original problem(s) that led to this petty BS.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 41
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 4:59:57 AM


wonder how mike cheered her up? did he listen to what the problem was instead of trying to be funny? Did he listen to her about her insecurities with you and reassured her that you was ok? Dont know? It might be her way of communicating (though I have to agree it is a little bit ****y and maybe you need to set a better pattern of discussing things). What it could be is that she is scared your not into her like she is into you which is whats making her fed up so shes making you aware that she has other options. Maybe if you ask her what shes depressed about and listened to her then in return told her that what she is doing is bothering you, then take it from there.


I have asked, and I have listened. And she didn't have anything to say about it. I genuinely tried to cheer her up.

She has had no problem sucking my face off right in front of Mike so she sure as hell don't give a damn about his feelings. "Knowing" that he wants her like she's told me several times. And now she's shown she doesn't much give a rats arse about my feelings either.

In my opinion, this is very telling. What kind of a girl tells her man on several occasions, "Every guy who's ever dated me, wanted to continue dating me." ?? I'm not all that into her, for reasons like I've just shown. So if she feels that way, she's correct.
 conbrio2
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 42
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:47:31 AM
If you're not all that into her, then for heavens sake do her a favour and break up with her. Everyone deserves to b with someone who really wants and cares about them.

Your hurt feelings are not justified, as you do not care about her.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 43
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:52:59 AM
I think she is lying about all of this attention to make herself feel better. Maybe Mike did cheer her up, but I highly doubt every guy wants her or wanted to keep dating her.
And she is my age... how pathetic. I was expecting to hear that she's 20.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 44
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:00:22 AM
I think the bottom line is , you have every right to feel what ever way you want to. I suggest you share your feelings about the situation with her and see if she is willing to at least understand how you felt. it might also be a good time for her to share if she is getting her needs met in this relationship or not. A good talk may be just what is needed to clear the air. JMHO
 THEMEPACK
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 45
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:36:38 AM
Yes that would have bothered me ...I would have said, frack mike....and bent her over the nearest couch....
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 46
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:52:06 AM
People who need this amount of attention usually end up cheating on thier spouse. I mean, heaven forbid you get busy trying to reach a goal outside of this relationship and she feels justified seeking her needy attention elsewhere...and to boot, she will blame it all on you when she does it. If you like the sound of that, keep dating her.

Feelings can always be justified, the action we take as a result of those feelings cannot always be, so take a moment before reacting to a feeling.
 ekb66
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 47
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:03:34 AM
Justified yes. My suggestion is to run as far and fast as you can... a "tad narcissistic"? How about full blown narcissist who is an emotional feeder? Sounds to me like it picks her up to hurt your feelings. Let the other guys who want her have her!
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 48
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:29:18 AM
If a phone call from this guy cheered her up then she wasn't really that down to start with. You are not responsible for her level of happiness and neither is Mike. This woman gets off on playing men. This woman will never change and will use men as long as her looks hold out. You could continue seeing her, but don't get too attached.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 49
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:14:46 AM

She sounds like an immature attention seeker. I mean, who does that!? Someone who is completely insecure. How old is she? Is she still in high school? Ugh, I wouldn't be hurt by comment like that, but I would be completely turned off. Her doing that is very telling. Yuck.

+1
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 50
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:33:31 AM
Well put Tinker Belle.. it seems many of us have been there, done that and your insight and use of words and analogy.. perfect.
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