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 mikecheck44
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 51
Are my hurt feelings justified?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hmmm... I can sense she is the insecure type. I have been down this road before recently. I have been in a familiar spot. I don't talk with that person anymore. I don't think she was a narcissist at all, but had a string of relationships that followed one after the other. She was in a position where she needed to find her real self while getting her needs met.
I can tell you this OP, if she wants to play this game with you with all of this "He cheered me up, I feel much better now." Let this be an indicator that the mind games will continue. Can't really say which type of girl she is, but it is obvious that she loves getting positive attention from people, but may not like giving it in return. Be very wary about moving forward with her.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 52
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:41:25 PM


People who need this amount of attention usually end up cheating on thier spouse. I mean, heaven forbid you get busy trying to reach a goal outside of this relationship and she feels justified seeking her needy attention elsewhere...and to boot, she will blame it all on you when she does it. If you like the sound of that, keep dating her.

Feelings can always be justified, the action we take as a result of those feelings cannot always be, so take a moment before reacting to a feeling.

FC, This is absolutely hilarious! Not because there is anything funny about it, but because you are absolutely 100% spot on correct. How do I know? Because she did this exact same thing to her ex husband! Why of course it was entirely her ex husbands fault, as she stated, and her affair was only an "emotional affair" Lol
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 53
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:58:30 PM


I know the type. Hot women, but also very, very, very insecure. So they play the jealous card all the fvcking time. They do sh it like that and expect you to be mister mature, I am never jealous type of crap, and when you are not jealous, they actually get angry, as if you do not like them. Yet you tell them that you went out to lunch with a coworked that happens to be a woman, and they go ballistic on your ass, even though all you did at lunch was either talk work or her boyfriend or the crazy relationship you have with this girl.
They throw it at you as if she does not care, but she will remind you how cute she still finds him, but that nothing is going on.

As much as I hate playing their game. Throw it back at her, and really, plan you exit strategy. It's not worth it to be in a relationship like that, it becomes toxic very soon.

Spot on assessment my man. In fact she admitted it to me today. She called and we had it out for a bit. I called her on her righteous, strutting BS thinking she's the cats arse, or at least pretending that she is. She started balling and went on a hysterical tirade about how nothing she's ever done has ever been good enough for anyone in her life. She was never good enough for her parents, ex husband, bla bla bla. So yes, basically a full on admission of extreme insecurity. You are wrong about one thing however, she's not that hot. Lol. She's a 7 or 8 in my book, in comparison to a few women I have dated in the past.

My exit strategy is planned. As bad as it may sound, it is what it is. She's not the woman for me. She has been silently demoted to a friend with benefits until she figures it out, complains, and/or begins withholding sex. At which point, I'm out.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 54
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:07:57 PM
Op, femaleconnection (msg51) ...nailed it .

be thankful, most never see it coming
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 55
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:13:45 PM

She has been silently demoted to a friend with benefits until she figures it out, complains, and/or begins withholding sex.

That is incredibly douchey. Just break up with her.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 56
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:19:35 PM

She has been silently demoted to a friend with benefits until she figures it out, complains, and/or begins withholding sex. At which point, I'm out.


What a passive-agressive wuss you are.
She's not losing out on anything.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 57
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:26:11 PM

That is incredibly douchey. Just break up with her.

Maybe from your PoV. But you're not a man. Men need sex. By my own admission, I don't have any other prospects at the moment. That's the only thing driving me to put forth just enough effort to continue getting laid. She could have had my heart to go along with my peni$. But she's proven herself reckless and irresponsible with my heart, so I've revoked it. Sorry if this bothers some of you.

What the problem? Wait I know. Women don't like being used for sex. Especially without their knowledge. Well in some cases, that's just too bad.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 58
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:26:12 PM

She has been silently demoted to a friend with benefits until she figures it out, complains, and/or begins withholding sex. At which point, I'm out.


Oh wow, really? You're just as big of an "arse" as she is. How utterly pathetic. Sickening.


Men need sex. By my own admission, I don't have any other prospects at the moment. That's the only thing driving me to put forth just enough effort to continue getting laid.
You're joking, right? Even more pathetic. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 59
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:32:35 PM
Deadly serious Vixen. Lol. You women are gonna have a field day with this one. Probably because the very same thing has happened to you at one time or another.

Really now? How many guys dump their current girlfriends when at the time, they have nothing else waiting on deck? I'd wager not very many. And technically that's all I'm doing. Emotionally, I'm withdrawn. It's as simple as that.

Chill out. It's not you I'm doing it to. It is what it is. Life goes on.


P.S. Maybe I won't do this to her. I don't know yet. It's just how I feel at the moment. At least I'm being honest. At any rate, if she wasn't a total insecure nit wit, I wouldn't remotely consider doing this to her.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 60
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:01:36 PM
Dude, don't wreck your karma. Just dump her as gently and honestly as possible, and as soon as possible. No need to lower yourself to her level.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 61
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:11:29 PM
She called and we had it out for a bit. I called her on her righteous, strutting BS thinking she's the cats arse, or at least pretending that she is. She started balling and went on a hysterical tirade ...


Oh... I think we know why the girl is feeling a little insecure now.
You two are both immature game-players without much control of your own emotions.
You're hurt. Now she's hurt. She was playing low-ball. Now you're aiming even lower.

You should apologize for being a douch**ag.
Honestly, it's much more rewarding to help someone move beyond their bad habits than to CRUSH them.
Learn to play nice.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 62
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 7:22:21 PM
RedDelPapa,

You are a good man don't waste your time and mental energy on a person that will drag you down, free sex ?? Not really .

You really don't want to get develope seriously with that kind of a woman, it will gave you heartache..
Put your energy on finding a good woman , a one man woman...........

You wanna get laid ??? Go buy sex , no string attach,no drama----- get done get over with,sleep with a happy concience...
 AshesDivide
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 63
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:05:26 PM
You have experienced the 90 day sh*t test. Right on schedule...
http://www.shrink4men.com/2012/03/20/radio-embed-why-and-how-to-fail-shit-tests/
 P-Willikers
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 64
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:29:59 PM

But you're not a man. Men need sex. By my own admission, I don't have any other prospects at the moment. That's the only thing driving me to put forth just enough effort to continue getting laid. She could have had my heart to go along with my peni$. But she's proven herself reckless and irresponsible with my heart, so I've revoked it. Sorry if this bothers some of you.


Don't speak for me dude. Men don't "need" sex that's devoid of any emotion... lil' boys "need" to stick their johnsons in a (hopefully) wet lil hole because they're f*cking selfish morons... merely masterbating inside an object.

One day you might wake up and realize that you are giving your heart to her every time you masterbate inside of her weather you like it or not. Sex reinforces your unconscious need to feel connected to someone.... that's just how the mind works and there's nothing you can do about it...

You're both extremely insecure from what I gather... you'd be better off with someone else, but not until you spend some time on your own and figure your own shit out first. And just as a general rule... everyone should have enough self esteem that their feelings should NEVER be hurt enough to take the time to post something on the internet or complain to their friends....
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 65
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:48:20 PM
Good points Pittsburgh and Vanilli. Thanks for the comments.



everyone should have enough self esteem that their feelings should NEVER be hurt enough to take the time to post something on the internet or complain to their friends.

There's nothing wrong with asking other people for advice or alternative viewpoints. Wanted to dispel that non sense real quick like.
 ambercrombiemod8
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 66
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:50:53 PM
Its all about attention. Kick her to the curb.
 laughingwaters123
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 67
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 2:21:43 AM
I think it is pure manipulation on her part. You aren't the perfect one she was hoping for and now is trying to get you to be more of what she wants. I say don't change for anyone and let het find satisfaction with all the others that want her.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 68
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 11:50:41 AM


Oh wow, really? You're just as big of an "arse" as she is. How utterly pathetic. Sickening.


While I agree the second thing you quoted was really pathetic.... What's wrong with treating her how she treated him? He wasted 3 months of his life on someone who was very possibly banging another guy. Why does she deserve any respect from him? And don't act like you girls don't do the same thing. I've personally known a lot of them that stick with a guy for regular sex while they're looking for someone better.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 69
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 11:58:43 AM

What's wrong with treating her how she treated him?

He's not. She acted out due to insecurity, and when she opened up and told him this, he closed down and decided that her status with him has changed and he isn't going to tell her.

That's a lot worse than anything she did. And at least equally childish if not more so.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 70
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 12:18:38 PM
You say he's not treating her differently than she treated him, but how do you really know? Acting out due to insecurity or not, this guy just calls her and now she feels better?

I've had similar stories about myself. Even just yesterday. I met this girl, she's kind of growing on me, I was in a bad mood, and just talking to her made me feel better. The guys gf and mike sounds VERY similar to my story, doesn't it? I see something going on between her and the guy, and the OP was possibly just getting used.

I've been insecure before and I didn't say anything close to what she said to him.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 71
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:20:17 PM


While I agree the second thing you quoted was really pathetic.... What's wrong with treating her how she treated him? He wasted 3 months of his life on someone who was very possibly banging another guy. Why does she deserve any respect from him? And don't act like you girls don't do the same thing. I've personally known a lot of them that stick with a guy for regular sex while they're looking for someone better.

So though I'm pathetic in your eyes, I gather from your reply you would do, or consider doing the same damn thing. Welcome to the club.

At any rate, most women take particular exception to my comments or strategy if you will, because most women simply cannot have and enjoy the act of having sex in itself without hoping or expecting something more than just physical pleasure, in return.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 72
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:23:24 PM

At any rate, most women take particular exception to my comments or strategy if you will, because most women simply cannot have and enjoy the act of having sex in itself without hoping or expecting something more than just physical pleasure, in return.


What world are you living in? I know tons of girls who are way worse than any guy I know. They just hide it easier since they're not the ones who have to do all the chasing.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 73
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:29:09 PM


He's not. She acted out due to insecurity, and when she opened up and told him this, he closed down and decided that her status with him has changed and he isn't going to tell her.

That's a lot worse than anything she did. And at least equally childish if not more so.

You're in no position to judge me or anything I do regarding my sex life.

She has expressed enough unattractive behavior now, that I am simply emotionally turned off by her enough to withdraw from the situation in that department. However, I am still physically attracted to her enough to continue that part of the relationship, until I find a new woman whom I find both physically and emotionally attractive. Very simple explanation, and one that most of you will hopefully understand. Thank you.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 74
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:39:35 PM

You're in no position to judge me or anything I do regarding my sex life.

You chose to talk about it here. Did you think no one would think you might be WRONG?

Grow up.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 75
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 2:14:10 PM
OP,check out your own maturity level because what you are considering doing is immature and actually quite mean. And don't call it FWB's, what you are thinking of doing is not friendly. It's cruel. When people are fcked up or insecure, we don't rub their faces in it or make things worse. We speak our mind and leave them to work it out and we hope they do.

Don't be a douche.
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