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 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 74
Are my hurt feelings justified?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

You're in no position to judge me or anything I do regarding my sex life.

You chose to talk about it here. Did you think no one would think you might be WRONG?

Grow up.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 75
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 2:14:10 PM
OP,check out your own maturity level because what you are considering doing is immature and actually quite mean. And don't call it FWB's, what you are thinking of doing is not friendly. It's cruel. When people are fcked up or insecure, we don't rub their faces in it or make things worse. We speak our mind and leave them to work it out and we hope they do.

Don't be a douche.
 conbrio2
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 76
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 2:42:31 PM
OP, do whatever you like with your OWN sex life, but if you are having sex with someone by being dishonest with them, that is another thing altogether.

I can totally judge that.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 77
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:09:19 PM
Ppl who send their partners a text like that, only means few things. She is letting u know that she is being desired by other men and she likes that attention and that she wants to make u jealous in the hopes that u will go overboard with her and please her in anyway she wants seem fit.

Personally I think that ppl who do that, are ppl who have very low self esteem and need a validation from their partner cuz they need to be told that they are beautiful or something.

U should have texted her right back when she did that and said the same thing. And see how she reacted to it. And then flip it and be like, now u know how I feel when u do stupid shiet like that.

Ur only dating for 3 months and she's behaving like this? WOW

If i was dating someone and they said that to me, I would text them back and be like, "the door is wide open if u want to leave". Cuz personally I don't tolerate childish games like that! And neither should u!
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 78
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:22:14 PM
She's not in the serious mode. Meaning she is not that into you, as you are her.

A woman that names objects that you are sleeping on etc.... sounds petty and jealous of ghosts that don't exist.

Mike the cop.... I'd tell her to go get him, and I hate to tell you this there is a 99% chance that she already had him.

You sound like a nice guy, look out!
Sorry....
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 79
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:34:09 PM
As far as I can see there's no 2 ways about this one.....she's being insensitive and sounds like she needs a lot of attention!! I'd keep that in check and you'd be right to say to her "hey you know what? That hurt my feelings....." She should be more thoughtful! If it were me I'd be annoyed by something like that!! Totally justified mate!
 mark777771
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 80
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:38:59 PM
If she is telling you about all the guys that want to take her out she is using that as leverage. Its kind of like a threat... if you dont treat me right I have these guys over here that will.... .. You are who you are. If she isnt making you feel special and important and likes to threaten you with all these guys coming on to her.....walk....hell I would run. She sounds like an attention whore.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 81
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:39:17 PM
Actually I agree with other posters...yes you were justified in your hurt but demoting her to Friends with benefits without telling her is not cool and makes you worse than she.....Rise above it and just leave her!
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 82
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:40:27 PM


What kind of girl tells her man about several other men are interested in her? Hmm. Could it be one who is dating a guy who isn't really into her, not really his type but still dating her anyways? And will continue to fvck her until he has another prospect on the line? If you do not see how this all started and the role you played in it, then you are dumber than a box of rocks.

At first I thought you were dating one of those insecure women who need validation ALL THE TIME, keep guys around who want her for the ego boost blah blah blah. As it turns out, she was just a place filler until you do find your type and she sensed that. That is why she tried to boost herself up and bragged about other men because deep down she knew she was just a warm hole.

Despite not being my type, I was quite interested in her physically as well as emotionally UNTIL this nasty needy/insecure side of her started to show through her high and mighty comments. Many folks here think she may have already cheated on me with this Mike guy, or planning to. If not with him, then someone else. And I tend to agree. So why exactly again do I owe her an honest explanation about how I now feel, and where I want to go from here?
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 83
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:44:26 PM
You owe no one an explanation on anything.The only one you owe anything to is yourself and only you.I think you can do better
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 84
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:47:16 PM

So why exactly again do I owe her an honest explanation about how I now feel, and where I want to go from here?

What are you, five?

I guess no one ever taught you the Golden Rule.

Well, clearly you're not about to learn it or start implementing it at this late date.
 ninasimone1961
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 85
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:47:24 PM
I think she is imamture, That she feels that is a way to show you she is very desirable to others, so you will feel unshaky.
It is not a good character trait in a person. I acctually can make a comparison with men whom cheat to prove to themselfes they are still able to conquer others women. She is trying, pehaps, unconciously, to show you that you are not so important to her. She feels vulnerable as facing the idea that you know that she is emotionally dependent of you.
But, the real issue in all of this is if she is ready to admit to you and to herself this sad fact. If she can, maybe you two can talk about this feelings and get directions to mature your relationship.
But, answering your querstion, I am pretty sure you have all the motives to feel hurt. Ths a bad thing what she is doing, but it does not mean that she does not love you, Quite the contrary. But, for sure, you two have to have a long, long conversation. Good luck
 Rottiesandhorses
Joined: 8/25/2012
Msg: 86
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:11:35 AM
First of all, you should never have to defend your feelings! They are YOUR FEELINGS and you don't need anyone to OK them!

That being said, honestly, it sounds like she is trying to boost her ego or her self worth with all this attention seeking. If it is bothering you, be honest. If she doesn't respect you, she just isn't that into you!

Respect yourself above all else and if she isn't showing you the same, walk away!
Good luck!
 P-Willikers
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 87
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:27:53 AM

Why does she deserve any respect from him? And don't act like you girls don't do the same thing. I've personally known a lot of them that stick with a guy for regular sex while they're looking for someone better.


What some people around here don't seem to realize is... without SELF respect, mutual respect is impossible. This isn't about what she deserves, but what she DOESN'T deserve. She doesn't deserve to be treated with disrespect! This is what happens when two people with little self respect come together. It's just childish games that create a viscious cycle!

Any man with self respect who might make the mistake of dating someone like this woman would just leave without treating her with disrespect. When you have self respect... it's IMPOSSIBLE to treat someone else with disrespect! You simply leave. You don't associate with those who treat you with disrespect, and you realize it's the fact that she has little self respect that makes her behave in ways that hurt other people. I would feel empathetic actually... but it would be impossible for me to treat her like an object to stick my c*ck in, because I have self respect.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 88
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:38:04 AM
I think she is trying to get a reaction out of you.
There are still gals out there in this day and age that want their men to fight for their affections and threaten to harm any guy that dares to speak to her. She wants you to believe she is so popular, that men are falling all over themselves just to get a phone call from her.
Don't allow yourself to fall prey to her games. There are so many other ladies out there that will not behave so immaturely. Cut her loose, you deserve to date an adult not an idiot.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 89
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:42:51 AM


What some people around here don't seem to realize is... without SELF respect, mutual respect is impossible. This isn't about what she deserves, but what she DOESN'T deserve. She doesn't deserve to be treated with disrespect! This is what happens when two people with little self respect come together. It's just childish games that create a viscious cycle!

Any man with self respect who might make the mistake of dating someone like this woman would just leave without treating her with disrespect. When you have self respect... it's IMPOSSIBLE to treat someone else with disrespect! You simply leave. You don't associate with those who treat you with disrespect, and you realize it's the fact that she has little self respect that makes her behave in ways that hurt other people. I would feel empathetic actually... but it would be impossible for me to treat her like an object to stick my c*ck in, because I have self respect.

Good point. I am a self respecting adult. Which I why I haven't done anything to her yet. I have thought about it a lot, I have schemed, and a good part of me wants to simply use her for sex. But my other half recognizes that's not right. After it's all said and done, the more I think about it, I probably won't do that to her. You've all been helpful. Even you insulting little turds.
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 90
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 2:44:01 PM
REALLY... Are you SERIOUS?? You THINK she is a little Narcissistic??? WOW... Not only is she narcissistic but she is also a DRAMA QUEEN, A GAME PLAYER and IMMATURE..

Oh WHAAAAAA... BABY Im SOOOOO DEPRESSED... Oh hun your depressed.. let me help... NOPE nothing until Mike calls... Then she throws it in your face.. Your left thinking ... I have been trying hopelessly to cheer this girl up and the only thing that makes her feel better is throwing some guy in my face in a rediculous attempt to make me jealous??? And instead of saying nice.. Im real glad Mike cheered you up.. Ill talk to ya later and leaving skid marks, you play into her self-absorbed adolescent behavior .. Wow really?? Mike made you feel better and I couldnt.. then you start asking your friends if your feelings are justified... Come on ..you tell us ... Is it justified to have someone play with your emotions and treat you like a fool and get offended???


After she sensed that my feelings might have been hurt, she asked me if that hurt my feelings and I told her, "Yes, a little. Just kinda made me wonder hmmm, how would you like it if I or someone else said something similar to you?" To which, she never offered even the slightest apology.


She knew DAMN well your your feelings would be hurt and that is exactly the effect she wanted... She's playing with you figuring She can play you against him and him against you and have you both vying for her attention..AND YOU ARE PLAYING RIGHT INTO IT.. She is testing you.. Seeing how far she can push you.. How much can she get away with.. You are allowing it..


She's always telling me about all the guys that want her, as well as every guy that talks to her, or even looks at her.


She clearly has physchological issues...(Oh Baby.. Tell me how hot I am ..If you dont, I'll make sure you know how much every other guy wants me) .. Please, give me a break... Its been three months...WAKE UP...We teach people how to treat us...You are acting like a man with no backbone and it is EXTREMELY unappealing to a healthy woman.. But for a woman like her, you are showing her that you could be one of her victims.. someone who will allow her poor behavior and play the game with her.. Which is exactly what she is doing .... PLAYING GAMES... dont wait till your more involved...Dump her..
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 91
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:34:48 PM


You are acting like a man with no backbone and it is EXTREMELY unappealing to a healthy woman.. But for a woman like her, you are showing her that you could be one of her victims.. someone who will allow her poor behavior and play the game with her

Huh huh huh!? You have no clue what you're talking about. I made it abundantly clear to her that her actions and words hurt my feelings and that it is unacceptable. But first, I came here to bounce the situation off others to make sure I wasn't over reacting.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 92
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:39:20 PM
This chick has red flags all over her! You should take a step back and consider how much drama you are inviting into your life
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 93
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:45:40 PM
Glad to read that you have changed your mind.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 94
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:52:55 PM

I am a self respecting adult. Which I why I haven't done anything to her yet. I have thought about it a lot, I have schemed, and a good part of me wants to simply use her for sex. But my other half recognizes that's not right.


Well... if you are unsure of your feelings towards her, maybe you should give her a little time to work on things and straighten up her act... see if she can treat you better. If you two are able to work past these issues and keep the communication lines open, you will have a stronger relationship as a result. However...If she can't make the necessary changes and if you can't forgive her for behaving like an idiot... you two should talk about whether you want to reduce your relationship down to a FWB or go your seperate ways. Technically... there is nothing wrong with this type of arrangment; however, both parties should be in agreement about such things.

Also... by working on honest communication with this person... any future relationship that you might have will be benefited.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 95
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:01:51 PM

I have thought about it a lot, I have schemed, and a good part of me wants to simply use her for sex. But my other half recognizes that's not right. After it's all said and done, the more I think about it, I probably won't do that to her.

The "probably" is troubling, but still, this is progress. Glad to see it, and thanks for updating.
 KeriLynn09
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 96
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:41:54 PM
I'm not trying to be mean when I say this but I can't think of another way to say it without sounding harsh.

You should leave her. She seems like a **** who couldn't care less about how you feel. You tried to cheer her up with no luck and yet one of her SINGLE male friends cheered her up and she had to text you and tell you that to basically rub it in your face that someone else made her happy.
 christgal2
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 97
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Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:20:51 PM
I had a similar experience with a man I was dating. We were dating for about 3 months as well and I was beginning to think we were in a relationship when he started talking about other woman all the time, how hot they were, how he thought about asking them out, etc. I confronted him on the issue and it turned out to him, all we were was friends with benefits. It hurt very much but I am just wondering if this could be the case with your relationship.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 98
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/27/2013 10:31:06 PM
OP,

there are some people who literally have a need to be validated by the other gender before they can feel good about themselves; and if they don't get it; they worry. (both genders; TONS of people online who fall into this particular group).

And there are also people who are depressed who are so deeply into their own feelings they can't understand, need or empathize with anyone else's... it is literally all about themselves and their own feelings.

I don't know if this woman is in the first group or the second or neither or both; but from what you're saying (if you are perceiving her correctly) I'd hazard a guess she might be in both groups.

If she is in both; she is someone incapable of understanding or seeing your feelings who needs HER feelings to be bolstered by people who are in competition with you; and she wont understand your having issues with it.

IF she is that, she I don't think is trying to be hurtful; she is literally about her own need and her own feelings. She I don't think sees your own.. please be careful of you; because I don't know that she can or will be.

Best of luck to you.
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