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 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 135
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
When you ASSume it's your right to talk on your cell phone whenever and where ever you want without showing the respect and/or the consideration of asking others if they mind being in earshot, especially in a car with the windows up, it's bad very manners and completely self-serving.


And again, you are the one doing the ASSuming, no one here has said that they have the right to talk on their cell phone whenever and whereever they want. That is your bias once again shining through.


You can twist it around all day if you want to attempt to justify self-centeredness. Nobody but you and a few others of the same ilk here are buying it.


Talk about self-centred, in this day and age of being mobile, apparently if you might have to take a phone call, you had best not leave the house for fear of bothering the haters. Funny thing is that as many or more who have posted here have said basically the same things that I have said. Yes there are a few people out there who inappropriately use their cell phones, not as many as it is made out to be. The majority of those are the people who would have had different boorish behaviours in the days before cell phones. You know, the ones who talked too loud in restuarants, the ones who talked all the way through the movie, the ones who gossiped and judge anyone who was different in any way and let's not forget the ones who only saw eveerthing as black and white and let the rest of the world know.


Good manners and respect are never old fashioned, only the truly clueless would see it as such.


Yep, you are right, however, the definition of good manners appear to be different from person to person. I personally do not find it at all bad mannered to take an expected call while out in public, to use travel time to catch up with kids, friends, work calls etc. Seems to me to be a efficient use of time, but then again, I also don't expect to be the centre of the universe for every hour of every day.
 BreakTheRuIes
Joined: 3/8/2014
Msg: 136
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/27/2014 9:38:30 PM
There is a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death where he discusses how people are so enthralled over the immaterial things in life, the immediate, the shallow. This should tell any man or woman something. The phone is a priority to the person and not your company.

I ask people, what did people do before cell phones? Did they stay at home in fear there might be an emergency with their kids so they can't go out? Do others need your attention so badly that you can't give another person your attention and in a dignified way?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 137
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/28/2014 1:09:49 PM
Those "what did you do before (cell phones, tvs, car, computers, indoor plumbing)" drive me crazy.
What difference does it make what we DID? Things change, progress is made (mostly for the better),
and new technology is constantly updating. Not many of us were taking selfies 10 years ago.

I like the changes.
But I also have manners and know how to behave.
Most of the population also knows how to behave.
It's the few public lunatics that give cell phone users a bad name and force others to bemoan the
advances of technology and half heartedly dream of the "old days".

A cell phone is not an immaterial thing, nor is it's owner shallow.
I don't have a land line. I work late at night...I like knowing I have a cellphone should I break down.
I like having a cellphone if I'm running late and people are wondering where I am...the list goes on.

I have lots of things I like...and things I like to play with.
Doesn't mean I don't know how to show restraint when on a date.
The ones that don't show restraint? You don't need to know them.
 WomanInSF
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 138
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Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/28/2014 2:28:30 PM

I find it a bit humorous that some women stopped communicating with me because I let them know I did not have a cell phone . Would not be able to text . Would actually have to talk on a phone .

I don’t think that the issue is not being able to text. Nowadays, when someone doesn’t have a cell phone they make an impression of being either too poor or too cheap for pay for it, or living in the past and not keeping up with progress. Neither of those qualities are attractive. Regardless whether it’s true or not, that’s the perception.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 139
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Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/28/2014 3:38:40 PM
Also it may not be about not having a cell phone, but about the attitude and delusion of making one thinking they are better than and that anyone with a cell phone must be some idiot. That may not be, but it does jump out as a possibility. It's like when someone says they don't watch TV/they don't have a TV, I may well jump to the conclusion that I'm going to be getting lectures on watching TV, I like TV, I'm not going to keep talking to someone who starts out saying they are TV snobs or anti-TV. I'm not into people who feel they are better-than those who choose normal activities that they happen to like. Attitude will kill someone finding you interesting quicker than anything I can think of. Now if it's someone who doesn't happen to want a cell phone (or TV), it may or may not be a deal breaker, that person I'd have to get to know better, if other things were of interest. I hardly ever talk on my cell phone, but a land line would do me almost no good. I'm not about to be around someone who is a snob about cell phone users, even thought it's highly unlikely that my phone would ring during a date. I too would have no interest in a cell phone junkie getting calls & texts like it was their whole life, but a call during a date, I don't see how that would be so rude in most cases.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 140
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Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/29/2014 10:53:47 AM


I find it a bit humorous that some women stopped communicating with me because I let them know I did not have a cell phone . Would not be able to text . Would actually have to talk on a phone .



I don’t think that the issue is not being able to text. Nowadays, when someone doesn’t have a cell phone they make an impression of being either too poor or too cheap for pay for it, or living in the past and not keeping up with progress. Neither of those qualities are attractive. Regardless whether it’s true or not, that’s the perception.


I’m not saying that I wouldn’t date a woman without a cell phone, but I would want to know why she didn’t have one. The same would be true if she didn’t have a car, or her own place to live. Not necessarily deal breakers, but I would most definitely want to know why she didn’t have one.

And I do not expect a woman to leave her cell phone at home when she meets me. But if she answers 12 text messages, and takes two phone calls during a one hour coffee date, then she is probably not a match for me.

Like the wise man said, "Moderation in all things -- including moderation!"
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 141
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/29/2014 1:38:07 PM

And I do not expect a woman to leave her cell phone at home when she meets me. But if she answers 12 text messages, and takes two phone calls during a one hour coffee date, then she is probably not a match for me.

Like the wise man said, "Moderation in all things -- including moderation!"


So in your great wisdom, what constitutes moderation for you on your one hour hypothetical date? Half of what you listed? 6 texts and 1 call answered?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 142
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Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/29/2014 3:03:41 PM

So in your great wisdom, what constitutes moderation for you on your one hour hypothetical date? Half of what you listed? 6 texts and 1 call answered?


Well, as with most questions in life, the answer is, “It depends!” (smile)


If she looks like Angelina Jolie, then she could talk on one phone and text on another during the entire course of the evening, and I would still be in love with her.

For most women, the dividing line would probably be when I start to feel like the phone is receiving more attention than I am. And that line could not be ascribed to a simple number. It would depend on other factors, was there a good reason for the calls (small children at home, emergency at work), did she apologize and explain what was going on, etc.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 143
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/29/2014 3:10:20 PM

Cell phone usage/addiction is quickly bring out the worst personality characteristics in our society, actually world wide. It encourages petty, distractive, rude, self-centered, gossipy behavior.


if y'all had typed 'distractive' into a mobile it would be all smart like and tells ya it isn't a word . . as for rude,
self-centered, gossipy behavior, I thought that's what posting forums on the interwebs were for, or is it party
lines for the tech dinos

a person without a mobile today is a head scratcher, a smart phone is just that, smart; it's uses as
a multi purpose tool never cease to amaze me... but, I also wouldn't concede inappropriate rude behavior
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 144
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/29/2014 5:35:41 PM
^^^Makes sense as an appropriate response from poster "babblefish", lol.

Believe it or not some us live outside of cell range. And I work out of the house and in the neighborhood, still no cell reception. It's so lovely and peaceful, a tourist destination, that's why people come, to get away from the noise and chaos of civilization.

In my travels I've noticed some areas, mostly outside the USA, people seem to be respectful with their phones. Within the USA it's pretty bizarre. I was just on a lengthy airport shuttle ride after 15 hrs in the air, some totally clueless guy decides to chat endlessly about mundane details of his trip at about 3X the normal voice volume, a low yell, you have all heard it. We all looked at one another and rolled our eyes. It was obnoxious, we were tired and weary and he wasn't helping at all.

All it takes is one attention whore with a cell phone to ruin the peace and ambience of what should be a relaxing grounding experience as in an international airport shuttle. There was a 15 minute wait for the shuttle, plenty of time for people to arrange their pick-up which most did.

That's the real problem with cell phones, there will always be an percentage of the population who acts irresponsibly but with a cell phone he/she is significantly more annoying and prominent.

But like I've posted before I like cell phones. Give someone a cell phone and you can tell a great deal about their character or lack of it in a short period of time, fabulous qualifiers, like candy for the self-centered and immature.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 145
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/30/2014 7:30:02 AM
For sure technology phobia is age related. The older one is, the less likely you will want to use facebook and smart phones.

My wife spends about 3 hours a day on her phone, I spend an average of 3 seconds a day. She likes to talk to people in Thailand using the WIRE or text, USA friends on facebook, downloads videos, etc. She is 23 years younger.

We both have tablets, personal computers and cell phones, but she uses hers a lot more than I do. I use a PC a lot more than she does.

I use cell phones and text when I need to, which is when I travel. If I had unlimited money, maybe I would get an IPHONE, but I doubt I would find much use for it. It's nice at times. I was a technology nerd, and my area of employment was implementing, testing, evaluating new communications technologies. So I had a video conferences in 1980, got a video phone in 1985, it didn't work for crap, but we had one in to test. Frankly, I am very surprised and impressed they were able to get video technology to work well on the limited bandwidth of cell phones.

I broke up with someone in Asia via text, it makes it an easy way to break up if you want to avoid a lot of drama. Which was likely to happen if we met in person. But since I seldom have a need to use a cell phone at all in the USA, I was thinking of getting rid of it entirely. I have no cell phone plan, so it would be easy to stop paying for it.

BTW, Asians in Asia seem to spend a lot more time on their phones than do those in the USA, and they often have more than one cell phone they use. So this isn't an USA phenomenon.

I can buy that that current technology / fast pace life makes people more short term orientated in their thinking. But American are culturally short term in their thinking.

But I see no reason to complain about it, it's normal progress.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 146
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/30/2014 8:08:28 AM
Here's an interesting article (copy and pasted)-one of many that's been on the news media lately:

Wi-Fi hotspots Coming to Canadian Parks
Parks Canada requesting tenders from contractors to install internet access points at 150 locations

The quiet solitude and refuge from the connected world that many Canadians yearn for will soon be no more in dozens of Canada's wilderness zones.

Parks Canada wants to install wireless Internet access hotspots at up to 50 of its national parks this year, and it expects to triple that number soon afterward. The agency is requesting tenders from contractors to install Internet access points at 150 locations over the next three years.

Some may see Canada's national parks as places where families can escape the hustle and bustle of modern life without being tethered to online video games, social media and email. But Parks Canada says campers want to be able to stay in touch with work, friends and family, stay up to date on the news and connect with social media. And it says modern cellphone coverage is either partial or non-existent at many of its parks and historic sites.

The agency says it expects to offer the service free of charge in some locations, but charge a fee in some cases, such as where the cost is excessive or the location particularly remote.

Many provincial and private parks across Canada currently offer some type of Internet access. Ontario's provincial parks authority has been experimenting with wireless Internet access since 2010 while Manitoba started installing Wi-Fi hotspots at its parks last year.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 147
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 4/30/2014 10:00:20 AM

The quiet solitude and refuge from the connected world that many Canadians yearn for will soon be no more in dozens of Canada's wilderness zones.


They may yearn for it, but it's a little scary when you get what you want.

I recall renting a rubber raft and rafting down the Copper River in Alaska with my brother. For 100 miles you see no one, you are between two mountain ranges and out of all forms of cell service. Not sure if even a satellite phone would work.

Not a dangerous river UNLESS you lose your raft or get injured. Then there is virtually no way to signal for help, it's impossible to walk out, and you are left on your own. We were always aware of that danger, we did tell the forest ranger we were going down the river, but later I thought about it. He never checked up on us, if we did get stuck someone would have had to call them to ask questions. I doubt there were going to spontaneously check up on us.

No doubt the wireless Internet access hotspots will only be in campgrounds, which are pretty pedestrian, they usually have toilets, even flush toilets. It's not like you are really roughing it. Once you get 100 feet outside of the hotspot, you will still be on your own. Go 100 miles and it will be hard to even walk back.

So if you really want to get out of touch, then it's still possible.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 148
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/1/2014 2:30:38 PM
I guess there would be no need for a campfire because of the amount of light emitted from everybody's lap top and smart phone would make it seem like a lit up stadium and nobody would be paying attention to the fire. I wonder if the Boy Scouts still teach some outdoor skills or just teach them to use a cell phone instead whenever they need something.
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 149
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/2/2014 11:55:06 AM
We can survive without a lot of things but when older people refuse to acknowledge how technology makes life better--and refuse to learn it then don't be surprised at how limiting your choices will end up being.


This is where you and a couple of other posters keep beating the wrong dead horse and derailing the conversation.

Everyone has the right to choose a new technology into their life or not. Everyone also has the right to their opinion. But apparently you don't think so.

The only debatable issue that is coming up in this thread is bad manners and as you should know there are plenty of them in our society, become much more noticeable with a mechanism of what ever kind that allows them to babble on with a loud voice in earshot of others. We once had payphones that had doors and/or were located away from others for privacy. That privacy has now become non-existent. Ill use of cell phones is the problem not the technology.

A proper or appropriate response to that discussion is to debate the issue at hand. Not to deny that bad manners exist. That only leads other posters to think you are the one who talks very loud into a cell phone with a captive audience of people who would rather not be disturbed by the details of your life at a high or any volume.
 WNYmanToo
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 150
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/2/2014 2:17:52 PM

What do you people do when you are out on a date and someone knows you is at the same place--do you just pretend you dont know them vs speaking to them??


Sure, you say "hi" and exchange a few pleasantries as you're walking by when you first come in, or you excuse yourself to do so, if they just came in, or you just notice them.

And then 11 more times in 3 hours, you stop the conversation, excuse yourself from the table, walk over there to this person you know, and have a short 1 minute conversation, and then come back to your table, and repeat, again, "sorry, that's someone I know, where were we?" ??
 MikeTO12345
Joined: 2/9/2014
Msg: 151
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/3/2014 5:09:52 AM

We can survive without a lot of things but when older people refuse to acknowledge how technology makes life better--and refuse to learn it then don't be surprised at how limiting your choices will end up being.


Considering the negative impacts with technology when it's used to the extreme is not a good thing. Studies have shown web browsing can make us dumber. Also there was a study with children and tablets, showing that children could use building blocks to build something that was easily done in the past. Studies have proven that writing down things with pen and paper helps with memory retention while typing it out does not. People are addicted to their phones. Texting is more common than talking on the phone. People use facebook more than talking to people face to face. Technology is dividing us from reality.

Personally if I am meeting someone for the first time I would expect 30 minutes of uninterrupted conversation unless the person's job is on call, like doctors, fireman etc. If a person chooses to check their phone I know I'm not even the top priority list. Meaning it would be a waste of money so I would simply leave, not because I'm upset but my time is valuable.
 MikeTO12345
Joined: 2/9/2014
Msg: 152
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/3/2014 9:52:17 PM

-now it is funny that when I started my MBA classes the first two professors had very strict cell phone policies, if your phone went off in class cause you didn't have it on vibrate (you can have the phone just turn the ringer off) you had to stand up in from of 73 people and sing "Im a little tea pot". The next group of professors took turns with their cellphones going off during the middle of classes, would quickly apologize and move forward --no harm done. This discussion reminds me of the different mentality --the first two professors are known for less than good remarks overall--everyone including the administration never has much good to say about them. The other professors are more realistic and willing to help and everyone loves them.



School is for learning not being popular. Considering USA has poor education system is nothing to brag about. Compare education system with Singapore, China, South Korea and Japan. Even these people know enough not to have their toys on during class.
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 153
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/4/2014 1:46:02 PM
^^^Exactly. Mature people know when to turn the toys off or leave them at home or in the car. I can't fathom how any reputable professor or teacher would repeatedly answer his cell phone during a lecture or class, unless it's a very sub-par school.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 154
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/4/2014 2:29:32 PM

sapphireeyes100:
--now it is funny that when I started my MBA classes the first two professors had very strict cell phone policies, if your phone went off in class cause you didn't have it on vibrate (you can have the phone just turn the ringer off) you had to stand up in from of 73 people and sing "Im a little tea pot". The next group of professors took turns with their cellphones going off during the middle of classes, would quickly apologize and move forward --no harm done. This discussion reminds me of the different mentality --the first two professors are known for less than good remarks overall--everyone including the administration never has much good to say about them. The other professors are more realistic and willing to help and everyone loves them.



the_regency:
^^^Exactly. Mature people know when to turn the toys off or leave them at home or in the car. I can't fathom how any reputable professor or teacher would repeatedly answer his cell phone during a lecture or class, unless it's a very sub-par school.


Where did sapphireeyes say those Professors answered their phone during class? She didn't & you're reading something into what she said because of your Bias.
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 155
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/4/2014 3:14:57 PM
^^^Why don't you continue to speak for saphireeyes and tell us what she means by her professors "took turns with their cellphones going off during the middle of classes"?

Do you actually have your own viewpoint for this thread? If so why don't you share it?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 156
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/4/2014 5:38:59 PM

Adjusting to the "Technology" intrusion and the expectation of good manners?


Personally, depending upon circumstances/situation, I don't mind if there is a quick cell phone call/or text interruption if it involves something to do with your offspring or job. If I know I am expecting a text from my teenager noting home from a movie, or sport practice, I will let my date know this ahead of time. I don't keep the phone on the table, it's in my purse or pocket so I can feel the vibration when/if the text comes in.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 157
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/4/2014 6:03:20 PM


^^^Exactly. Mature people know when to turn the toys off or leave them at home or in the car. I can't fathom how any reputable professor or teacher would repeatedly answer his cell phone during a lecture or class, unless it's a very sub-par school.


Where did sapphireeyes say those Professors answered their phone during class? She didn't & you're reading something into what she said because of your Bias.


Regardless of whether the professors answered their cell phones in class or not---the mere fact that they would allow them to go off during class is a distraction in and of itself. Turning them off--or at the very least, setting them to vibrate so that the class couldn't hear them would have been more professional.

As far as their likability goes, that really doesn't prove a whole lot. The most lenient professors aren't necessarily the best professors---in my experience, it was often the opposite.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 158
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/5/2014 9:22:12 AM

The only constant is change, we either grow and adapt or get left behind.


Never. I'm still determined to find a place that sells or rents movies on VHS tapes or a music store that has my favorite albums on 8 track tape. I would consider upgrading to cassette tape though if I can't find a store close to me that has 8 track tapes. I've already upgraded my telephone to a more modern version. I can now buy a telephone in different colors, instead of the standard black that every telephone was.
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 159
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 5/5/2014 10:41:00 AM
There's something fundamentally "off" about talking on the phone in close proximity to strangers. Privacy and self-respect go hand in hand. Honoring the space and peace of others is a direct result of self-respect, the ability to extend that respect to others.

This is the era of Facebook, "social media" is an oxymoron, it does not encourage social skills, on the contrary it fosters narcissism. Attention whores are in their full glory. *yawn*

Can someone take a pic of this convo and post it on facebook then tweet it? And don't forget to "like it"!
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