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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?      Home login  
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 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 26
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile? Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

The answer would be yes....provided you do it in a positive way.
and don't sound like your are ordering perfection to be shipped via UPS.

For example:
"No fatties" would be a bad way to express a preference.


How about when I request something for "mental" preferences, cause I know at one time I tried the "No morons" line in my profile, yet people still emailed me?????

OT,,,put whatever ya want in profile. What I find "rude" and what others will find "rude" will be a lot different at times, and other times, the same. Actually, I don't care if you are BLUNT as a hammer with your personal preferences or you're choice of words. But, I'm a hardened phuck,and know that "words" themselves can't really hurt me.
 _SunnyBeachAngel_
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 27
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:29:18 PM
Not in the slightest bit rude. I prefer people who are honest and blunt. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and if someone doesn't like that, sorry but that's just too bad. It's a way of weeding out those you would not be interested in and it saves those people time as they might be like "Oh, she prefers fit men, okay "next", and they don't waste their time writing that person.

I'm fit and take of myself, so why would I date a guy who's overweight and has never seen the inside of a gym in his life?

Btw: People who are greatly overweight are in no way shape or form in shape. Who are you kidding?! Lol.
 _SunnyBeachAngel_
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 28
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:48:42 PM
Oh, and putting preferences never affected my dating life in a negative way whatsoever.
I'm currently dating a guy that fits what I was looking for and I can't be the only one :)
 mark777771
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 29
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:03:23 PM
I dont like real fat women. I dont feel bad about this. Some guys luv em big. Not me. A few extra pounds is ok. But that doesnt mean 30 or 50 extra. You have every right to let people know what you like. Why waste your time and theirs. Some women dont like bald guys. Im bald. Im fine with that. So I post a picture of what I really look like. I have one full body one, and another is just my upper body. You have every right before you meet that person to know exactly what they look like. If they are not willing to disclose what they look like they are hiding something. Move on.
 LuckyThirteen_
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 30
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:21:39 PM
It's only rude if you're referring to weight and breast size--y'know, stuff women have body image issues with. I mean, if a guy were to write "no fatties please" or "please have at LEAST a C cup" you can bet his profile would be taken down right away by admin. However, it's perfectly ok for women to write "must be at LEAST 6'2" because I like to wear heels" or "please have hair on your head".
You go girl!
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 31
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:23:46 PM

How about when I request something for "mental" preferences, cause I know at one time I tried the "No morons" line in my profile, yet people still emailed me?????
Well that answered that little puzzle of mine.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 32
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:24:28 PM
it appears a lot of men claim they do not like fat women, yet overweight women on POF are obviously having regular dates,...probably more than some of the conventionally "beautiful" women here...Maybe some men are lying to themselves..they do like overweight women..

also "average, few pounds over," seems to depend on where said lady is from.. all relative.

I personally prefer athletic, lean and mean types and driven in sports too..but i am a sucker for an intelligent woman more so than...
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 33
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:36:05 PM
It all depends on how you word your preference, I've seen a few profiles that just came across as rude and nasty, so i wouldn't give them the time of day even if I fit into their checklist. If a man likes petite blondes and states it in his profile it saves both us time as I know upfront I'm not his type and won't bother messaging him, I certainly don't get offended.
 _SunnyBeachAngel_
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 34
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:40:14 PM
If overweight women are going on more dates it's because they're less picky. Anyone can get tons of dates, question is...are they quality? Also, the smaller percentage of fit& attractive men on this site do tend to prefer slimmer women to larger (definitely the hot ones), sorry but it's true. There are always exceptions, but they're rare.

Good luck :)
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 35
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:00:11 PM
For me, it depends on the approach and wording. I am a bit overweight myself, but have been steadily losing weight. My weight gain was due to medical conditions and meds to address these conditions. If someone wrote "No fat guys, this means slobs over 250 pounds", then yes, that is rude, hurtful, and outright mean.

If the same person were to write "I prefer a man who is average or slim build", then that sounds better. Does not sounds judgemental (Which that itself is a dealbreaker for most people anyway), but still gets the point across.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 36
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:02:38 PM
I don't think it is rude, so long as you are not rude about it.

It doesn't really matter, you will still get contacted by those opposite of your preferences. Either they don't read your profile, or they just don't care.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 37
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:08:47 PM
I think it is perfectly fine to put your physical likes in your profile as long as you are not rude. Even if you weighed 90 lbs, would you want to date a man who's profile said 'No fat chicks'?
 CafeMochaPlease
Joined: 12/1/2009
Msg: 38
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:48:53 PM
I think that being too specific about body type, height etc. requirements tends to close YOU off in too many ways.
Leave all those kinds of things out and open yourself up to all people. As one grows older and
hopefully wiser body size, height, etc. is not so important. Heart and soul speaks louder than
anything else. It is so darn hard to meet good people today. Ask yourself if you can afford to block out
a huge portion of the bio's available to you.

I am a very active woman, eat grass fed meat, take supplements that are only supplied by a health practitioner,
exercise and still I am rubenesque woman. I know I am healthy and feel good about myself. I am proud of the
woman I am and a pretty good catch if you ask me! LOL

Boxing yourself in could leave you missing out on a person that is just amazing.
Be open to a new adventure, meeting folks outside your comfort zone and who knows you could end
up being very happy.

Life is too short to put limitations on yourself.
Keep yourself safe.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 39
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:06:43 PM

I strongly disagree! I am both overweight AND I live a healthy and active lifstyle.
Well you can disagree but the majority of people would recognise that suggested phrase as meaning "no overweight women please". It was just a suggestion and could certainly be made more specific if unwelcome messages continued.

The point is to make it a positive, pleasant statement. Not one that might be viewed as nasty or shallow by the reader.

By the same token, if the man is one who speaks his mind and likes to be blunt, then 'no fatties' might be the best way for him to make the statement. It's all about how you want to be perceived by the reader.

BTW, exercising regularly is not the same as an active lifestyle. I go on my treadmill each morning and do some form of dance/aerobics/wii fit program several times a week also. I don't consider that I have an active lifestyle though by any means. An "active lifestyle" would be someone who regularly does some of the following: running outdoors, cycling, hiking, bushwalking, swimming, sports (tennis/football/soccer/basketball etc).
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 40
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:06:47 PM
I find it useful when people put preferences in their profiles - especially ones that I don't fit; it saves me time. It may limit the people who approach that person, but they don't want to be bothered by people who don't match their checklist anyways, right? It's a win-win, they're doing us both a favor ;)
 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 41
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:10:06 PM
OP you're assuming most people will actually read your profile. Good luck with that. I put I am only here for the forums, I wish I had a dollar (inflation from the old nickel of days gone by) for every email asking when I want to meet them. But if you are going to put preferences, be tactful and honest.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 42
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:53:08 PM
no fat chicks! i kid. seriously though, if youre overweight, you may think youre leading a healthy lifestyle, but youre not eating healthy. if you were, you wouldnt be overweight. simple, right?

i like a profile with preferences, no matter how rude they may be. saves everyone a little bit of time id say.

cawkblawker: so, when do you wanna meet me?
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 43
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:58:13 PM
I dont think it is rude . also if physical preferences was not more important would you go meet someone without seeing the pic?
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 44
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:17:36 PM
(i would like to hear a few ideas how to write that into my profile in a nicer way.....)

How about "I am seeking a healthy woman who has a thin, athletic, or slender build." You can either boldface or write it in capital letters so that it stands out.

Of course, there will always be people who do not read profiles, but I don't see anything wrong with indicating your preferences...you are allowed to have them. Most people who have issues with you having certain preferences are often the ones who are interested in you or people like you, but they do not meet these preferences.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 45
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:37:42 PM
no it is not rude.. I've written that I only date Brad Pitt look alikes.. and then someone told me it was rude.. and I wrote back." Brad..Brad.. is this really you .. or is someone from pof being rude to my pof profile or me???

we all have preferences.. I prefer an eight and ate figure income but hey people can be rude and contact me when they don't .. you know .. don't ah.. "have it"... all I can say is even if people are rude and don't fit the bills.. on the bull butt hey ..shit happens to us all ..hah..


Walts .. I know this is rude..will you marry me ? .. any rude answer.. like any old iron will make me horny.. frig you are funny.. luv it ..
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 46
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 10:20:42 PM
Honesty, unless it is devoid of tact, is never rude!
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 47
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/24/2013 10:33:06 PM
It can be rude - when it is does in a rude manner. Everyone has their preferences, but there are tactful ways to deliver the message. If some says they prefer a petite woman, or blondes, or Asian girls, or whatever...then they're not looking for me, so why would I bother to seek them out?

I agree with those who have pointed out that being slim does not equate to being fit or healthy. I'm not claiming to be fit myself right now (not yet anyway), but even when I walked 6 miles up and down a mountain every day and worked out with weights for two hours every morning, I was a big tall solid woman - and in much better shape than when I was a skinny twig with no muscles or stamina.

I've also known many gentlemen who were very fit but whose shapes belied their real athleticism.

Sometimes euphemisms are misleading...
 Justmytypewriter
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 48
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/25/2013 12:02:19 AM
I wonder how it could possibly be considered "rude" to outline physical preferences. For instance, I will not, under any circumstances, date someone under a certain height. I am just not attracted to a man shorter than me in moderately-heeled shoes. Which rules out any man shorter than 6'1". So why not being upfront about that instead of beating around the bush? Being vague about dealbreakers seems to be ruder than being honest and open about preferences, imho.
 _SunnyBeachAngel_
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 49
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/25/2013 1:01:00 AM
Having preferences isn't being shallow, it's about seeking out what you're attracted to. Many women do like their men to be taller and to each their own.
Who actually cares what people that you're not interested in think of your profile anyway? Lol.

Good luck!
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 50
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Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:15:33 AM
I wrestled with this for along time. I have definite dealbreakers on some things, preferences on others. Early on I was pretty explicit and caught a lot of flack for it, even getting called misogynist, which I thought was nuts. In the workplace and my friendships I don't discriminate at all based on appearance, but when it comes to someone I'll be intimate with I reserve the right to be as picky as I choose.

After much trial and error I settled on a statement along the lines of "I'm attracted to a fit, outdoors oriented woman who will join me on at least some of my adventures. If you think hiking up the 500 foot hill behind my home to admire the view sounds like fun, or an ideal vacation would be a three week river camping trip through the Grand Canyon, we should talk!" That combined with a picture on her profile allowed me to narrow the field as well as could be expected just from what I write on my profile.

It saves a lot of trouble on both sides if we're all clear about what we're looking for, but there's no need to be judgmental or rude about it. In my case I'm unusually turned off by a lot of makeup (which is my odd trait, not a judgment), and I spend a lot of time engaged in strenuous outdoor activities that are all the more fun when shared with someone special. While I'm certainly impressed by all the right curves in all the right places, a dazzling smile, eyes you can fall into, etc.... none of those are critical to me, so no need to put them in my profile. I can figure out soon enough if I feel attracted, and so many aspects of attraction just can't be put into words.

I'm currently a month in to a new relationship with a woman I met on green singles, another dating site. She was just as positively explicit as I was in her profile. Our first two dates were long hikes, the second through eight inches of snow ending well after dark. We're in that wonderful joy of discovery stage, both thrilled that we find so many of the same things exciting. Had we not both been clear in our profiles about what we were looking for we might never have met.

But an important part of that clarity was getting our point across without putting anyone down. How someone expresses theirself tells much about their overall attitude, and that's an important trait.

Finally, it's certainly true that many don't even read profiles. Despite stating my unavailability clearly up front, that I'm only here for the forums, I keep getting regular messages of interest. Apparently it's not just guys who don't bother to read!
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