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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?      Home login  
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 KER6969
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 26
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Maybe she is uncomfortable amongst crowds of people or perhaps she just doesn't like concerts in general. I know several people who won't go to concerts for the reasons I mentioned. Personally I love concerts and the energy they give off providing it's an artist or band that I like. Try being more sensitive to how she feels.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 27
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:25:57 AM
This is the thing, love has nothing to do with interests or activities. But people don't get this. At it's core, a relationship is just a series of worthwhile dates.

Does she like to go other places or do other things with you or otherwise spend time with you?

If the answer is "yes" you are being silly - so go to the concert with one of your guy friends. Do other stuff with her.

However, men do enjoy recreational companionship with their Woman.

On the the hand, she might be a control freak. If that's the case, that's a deal breaker.

Edit: I just read the opening post again and noticed this:

"We have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days but at the end of the day she doesn't want to date anyone besides me other wise she would be."

- This relationship has serious problems, and her not liking concerts is not the main problem. You do realize that the better couples only have handful of arguments a year? They just have a calm discussion. And on-again off-again relationships are not worthwhile. People who love each other and are healthy don't keep breaking up.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 28
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:39:20 AM

Well she said tonight by text when I asked "Dont you think two hours of music I don't listen to is a bit excessive?". I didnt even argue because im realizing two things. SOme people just arent into music. I listen to music two hours a day easily just driving and at home. Also realizing by reading this forum, how many people dont "like" concerts. I had no idea. I had never heard someone say they hate concerts. I go to concerts every week or two. Everyone I had ever dated liked going. I just asumed everyone likes music and concerts.


I dont know but this really stands out to me. I find it very odd that it absolutely never, ever crossed your mind that not everybody likes music and concerts. You come across as very self absorbed and the fact that it never even occured to you that someone may not want to do the things you want to do as very odd. Perhaps this would explain a lot of the other "issues" you seem to be having...
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 29
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:26:59 PM
Funny how you say that.
I read an article in the paper only 2 weeks ago saying women love men who like music or are creative.
Yet anytime i have asked them on a date about music festivals or that i see music as a passion of mine they seem to be turned off straight away.Perhaps they think we are broke haha..

Maybe the prefer a boring Accountant or some computer geek???
Who brings home the big $$$$$
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 30
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:38:37 PM
wow. Well.... maybe its more to her than the concert? Seeing youve brought it up 5 times now and she has to defend her right to not go time and time again maybe its more than just the concert. Sounds to me its more about boundaries and respect.
Are you deilberately picking something that will cause a fight?
I mean, if she hates brussel sprouts and you love them are you constantly wanting her to eat them time and time again?
I adore music. Believe me when I say I ADORE music yet I have never enjoyed a concert..ever. Same with big football games.. ugh. The crowds of rude people, shuffling thru them to get to seats.. Same with movies. I dont go on opening nights because its just a hassle.
Screaming fans, pot, lewd remarks by half drunk people, some of which barf on you (that happened in line at Universal Studios Halloween night) are things that do not appeal to me.
My thought is why are YOU so hung up that she go. I mean it sounds like youre demanding she go which in turn equates you are in control of the relationship and by her refusal she is saying you are not.
Are you sure its abou the concert??
I would never ever no matter how much I love my boyfriend ever attend a heavy metal concert. Period. Leave me, stay with me... beg.. plead, hate me in the end I am not going to a heavy metal music concert. I hate it. I dont listen to it.. not with friends, not with my lover, not in the car next to me, nada. I roll up the window and leave. Plain and simple.
I would be very ticked if you had insisted 5 times for me to go.
I hate shopping in Walmart. It sucks and I only go because there is no where else to go here. I have to go to another town for a Target, etc. Same kind of deal. People can in large numbers be assholes.
Are you insisting she do other things? Does that cause the fights?
Why cant you go with a friend? You dont state whether or not she goes out to other things (I didnt read the whole thread). If its just the concerts then I would say she doesnt like concerts. Leave it at that. Dayum..
If she wont be seen with you at places then its the relationship..but I dont like concerts even tho I adore music and have tons of it..
...recently heard tickets to the next Football thingy.. what do they call it? Well anyway, it costs $3500.00 per ticket. (Superbowl thats it)My Dad said are they crazy??? When I can see it for free on tv??
I would never pay that for a ticket.. to go sit in a stand, see half the game for people standing up in front of me half drunk, screaming while sitting in a cramped space with people I dont even know for hours on end. I dont get it.. but Im not going. DOesnt make sense to me.. same with music. WHy go do that when I can relax at home with a drink and lay naked on the bed while soaking in the sound??
But to each his own. Good luck.
Ok... Ive changed my mind somewhat. I WOULD go see Andre Bocelli in concert.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 31
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:01:12 PM
I *hate* loud music--even music I love, if it is loud, I hate it. I cannot even fathom why, when it is clear I do NOT want to go, someone would try to insist on spending lots of money to take me--b/c I sure as heck wouldn't be paying my own way to do something I would not enjoy.

If the tickets were free and someone wanted me to go, just once, I probably would, just b/c he wanted me to. Once. And the tickets would have to be truly free---like, won over the radio or something. If he lied about it to get me to go, we'd be breaking up over the lie.

Sounds like the two of you are not well-matched and you are just prolonging the death of the relationship.
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 32
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:39:23 PM
" Part of my recovery involved having ribs removed from my left side to be used in a bone transplant to rebuild a part of my spine."


Wow. A self-made Eve in the garden of Eden. Created from her own ribs, not form Adam's. A veritable recyclable woman.

I bet you are bio-degradable, as well.

Good going!! We need more environmentally friendly people like you, ye faire lady!!
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 33
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:50:49 PM
If you care about this woman why would you want her to do an activity that she is not interested in? You have a destructive attitude towards a partner.

This is nothing to with concerts but about YOU. You are an insensitive self-centered brat. ..completely disrespectful of her wishes.

Re live concerts....I have NO interest whatever. Crowded, noisy,smelly. Fortunately I have a boyfriend who respects this and finds things that we BOTH enjoy. His desire is to make me happy.. not go to concerts, fishing, football games or other things he enjoys. He arranges attending theatre, nice dinners, hikes and things we 'both' enjoy. I wouldn't badger him into him to do some of my activities, ballet and opera.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 34
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:16:57 PM
So, big deal, she doesn't like concerts. Not everyone does. Go with a friend and find something she likes to do, that you enjoy too, and do that instead. Some people are actually quite happy just staying in alot of the time. Or chilling in a nice coffee place watching the world go by.

My ex loved going camping in the wild - no facilities, just complete nature. Not my thing - love camping, but with nice toilets and showers and preferably a pub nearby. So he went camping with his mate and I did whatever I wanted to do. We split up, but nothing to do with that.

I don't understand why you're on POF looking for long-term if you have a girlfriend.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 35
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:18:33 PM
eh...I hate live music (usually). They turn the amps up so loud that you can't hear the melody or talk & people are crowding in on me. It's super annoying to be short & be in a big crowd because everyone steps all over you like they don't even see you.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 36
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:25:41 PM
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?

Yep! Me. I've endured MANY concerts over the years, have truly enjoyed maybe 1.

over the years and concerts sim I love going to shows but the girl im dating 7 months wont ever go. Even if I pay, even if its a band she listens to, playing 2 blocks from her house. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? We have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days but at the end of the day she doesn't want to date anyone besides me other wise she would be. SHe is 37 years old.

I doubt her age has anything to do with her disinterest in concerts.

Yesterday I went to a concert alone cause she didn't feel like going, and it wasn't like it was the loudest heavy metal. It was 35% woman in the concert and it was for just two and a half hours. Still no go. 5th time she turned down a concert, and she knew she would likely have to wait 5 days to see me a different day, so she would rather not see me then hang out at a concert for a few hours cause I was going either way. Ive just never heard of a thing, on long island girls go to concerts all the time with the boyfriends, or husband, or with friends.

I don't think geography has anything to do with her disinterest in concerts.

~OP~ She may have a very logical reason why she's not interested (ie: anxiety issues, phobias, etc.) or maybe she's simply not into concerts. Not everyone is into live bands/concerts. And there's not a thing wrong with that. The way I see it? You have two choices. 1) Get over the fact she's not interested and go by yourself or with other friends; or 2) stop seeing her because she doesn't share your interest in concerts. To me? You're making a big deal out of nothing. I LOVE movies. Love to go to the theater, rent them, have all the movies channels Dish offers, etc., My spouse has NO interest in movies. So what do we do? I watch movies, he does something he enjoys. It's never been an issue. It's one interest we simply don't share. I think there's a good deal in truth in that it's healthiest to have common and separate interests. I do think it's important to do things for our loved ones we don't always want to do (once in a while) but you seem to be beating a dead horse. 7 months, 5 concerts? That's a pretty steady stream of concerts. Which means that about once a month, you're inviting her, knowing she'll say no ~ which is likely an irritant to her (it would be to me) and it's apparently an irritant of sorts to you (being that you posted a thread on the subject.) I'd think you'd tire of being told "No thanks." and simply make concerts your deal and leave her alone about it. But that's just how I see it. If it is a real source of contention for you ~ I'd suggest you meet/date someone who shares that particular interest with you. JMO
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 37
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:12:53 PM
Not a big deal. I've been to one concert in my life and just don't care if I ever go to another. It's not my thing.

What concerns me is that you have a problem with the fact that your girlfriend doesn't share this interest. I'm sure she has interests you don't like, what's the big deal?

Of course, if you have absolutely nothing in common that's another thing.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 38
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:13:01 PM
Dude, you're a control freak.

My ex used to do this to me all the time. He would ask me over and over again, then would cajole, then pout and be passive-aggressive, then get angry because I still wouldn't give in. Then he would get more and more aggressive until I had to get super assertive to get him to back off. Then he would declare our issues were solely my fault, because I was unreasonable for not going along with his "simple" request. He would declare this to anyone would listen, to try to get them to take sides.... with him telling people I had "flipped out" (not even close) while leaving out the hours and sometimes days it took to push me over the edge. He'd find a sympathetic ear and wallow in the misery of being in a relationship with such a horrible person, then go stay with his mother for weeks until I'd suddenly find him on the doorstep willing to give me "another chance".

It got to the point where he'd do this over pretty much everything, right down to what I cooked for supper and how much time I got to spend in the bathroom before he came looking for me.

If you don't watch it, it'll get worse. I mean, you're already setting her up to be the bad guy because you know she's not going to go. So why keep nagging? Is getting your own way over something so small really that important to you?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 39
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:07:11 PM
I'm surprised a woman is like that. Most women are so enthralled by music that it rules their existence. I would love to meet a woman who wasn't. I went to a concert in high school with a friend and was so f--king bored that I'd have put a gun to my head to escape it if I'd had one. Not anything I have even the slightest interest in ever doing again. I still regret the hours of my life I wasted at that concert 20 years ago.
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 40
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/1/2013 9:05:46 PM

We have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days but at the end of the day she doesn't want to date anyone besides me other wise she would be.


This is the most important part. Right here.

Let's just say that if there is "dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month", it's probably not being pushy with going to a concert that is the major problem here.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 41
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/1/2013 9:43:51 PM
I've never heard of it no, but why keep asking her to something you already know she hates? unless you enjoy quarreling that is.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 42
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 5:35:33 AM
Christ there's some stupid comments in here. You're not a control freak as one suggested. That person has no idea that people who LOVE music and love attending concerts really want to share that experience with someone else. They are often once in a lifetime events that happen after years and years of enjoying a band. They are both intimate and interactive events. They provide insight into you and you are just wanting to share that.

Are they for everybody though? Possibly not. There are so many different concert experiences available even within genres. I could come up with ways to negate and counter any potential concern that would lead to somebody's enjoyment except for one........the crowds. So I think that's where you're problem lies. I'd bet a lot of money that's the cause of her anxiety. So you can be sensitive to that. In which case she still may not go. In which case you still find your friends to go with. Concerts aren't a nightly thing so nobody should ever protest you're attending just because they refuse to go. That would make THEM the control freaks. If you run across somebody like LilliMarleen who might try and turn the tables on you and belittle the type of concert or suggest they are less important than time with them, then show them the door and make sure it DOES hit them in the ass on the way out.

I know the concerts will never stop being important to you. The two of you are a mismatch here. It's up to you to decide if that is something you desire. I've been in the same boat. In the end I just gave up attempting to ask and continued to go and have a blast by myself. The person I was seeing never got in the way of that and we continued to share other things that we enjoyed. It remained a void yes, but it wasn't a daily thing. It's not like concerts are. So enjoy her for othe reasons and be sensitive to her anxiety. And continue to enjoy what you love. That puts the ball in her court. If she objects to you attending without her after that you'll have a clear idea of what to do
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 43
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:02:47 AM
Having been there before Sweetness I think that was just one of the concerts OP was excited to share. That got poo-pooed. It sounds like its just a different variation of the same answer she might have given if it was a concert by an artist she does like.

Truth be told I don't think the OPs partner is any real fan of music. Just someone who sees music as background information that she can occasionally identify. It's possible the OP doesn't know how to share anther persons music on the one hand, and on the other does not want to be potentially exposed for being a fair weather fan who lacks the same passion as her partner. The anxiety may in fact be she doesn't want to be seen as being uninteresting by not being moved by something that moves everybody else.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 44
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:54:06 AM
Op...Don't you have any mates you can go 'concert' with? Your g/f has made it quite clear it's not her thing.

she knew she would likely have to wait 5 days to see me a different day, so she would rather not see me then hang out at a concert for a few hours cause I was going either way. Ive just never heard of a thing
.....Are you feeling bruised because she is not cooperating with YOUR need's and want's?
My son's g/f doesn't go to his soccer matches because "It's not her thing"...She leaves him with the boy's and uses the time to visit her friend's.....Geez it's not a crime. He doesn't whinge and spit the dummy.
As someone else suggested you sound controlling. So wipe away those crocodile tear's and man up.
You don't need a can of "Harden UP" you need the industrial one..."Harden the Fu*k UP"
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 45
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:02:42 AM
OP, ignore useless comments from garbage like this ^^^^^ who would like to paint you as some kind of control freak, yet cite as their profession on their profile, "ruler of the universe."

The issue isn't about control. For those who think it is, it is more likely (and in some cases very clear) they are just projecting their own control issues in their relationships onto your issue. Quite funny actually.
 obxbecky
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 46
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:06:45 AM
I don't like crowds and I don't like noise. Even if I love the band, I don't necessarily want to see them live. I waited 15 years to see my favorite band live and it totally killed them for me. I'm afraid to see any bands I love now because I don't want it ruined by a crappy live performance.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 47
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:19:16 AM
I know where she's coming from because I used to be like that full blown in my teens through college. I'm not as bad about concerts now because I do go from time to time but I much prefer smaller venues. I just don't like the massive amounts of people, prefer small groups, the smaller the better. I feel smothered, I prefer space and a sense of general freedom. I also like to be able to check out people enjoying themselves but that's very difficult when there's thousands, sensory overload. I also want the option to step away after a little bit and get away from the music and return under my control. At a loud concert, this is not really possible. So, yes, there are others who will not attend a concert even it's their most favorite groups. I refused to go see Queen and many iconic groups during their heyday. So stop being so self-centered and try to understand your significant other because if you continue to view her the way you do, then it's seems like she not so "significant" to you after all.

Invite her to a hole-in-the-wall bar with a quieter setting to listen to a live band and see how she feels about that. She might be willing to go to those. You have to learn to adapt and grow towards your partner not draw a line in the sand, especially over something so silly.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 48
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 7:53:26 AM
I don't like concerts, unless they are outside and I can get up and walk around and walk far away from the band and the people. I don't like live music in a club, would much rather have a DJ.

I also hate sitting in theaters, so movies are out.

If you LOVE concerts and she hates them, you two are incompatible.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 49
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 8:24:57 AM
I hate big crowds even when I went clubbing I hated crowds and it's not changing. Op, You and your female are not compatible.
 for4rums_loner_here
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 50
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/2/2013 9:28:16 PM
""""""""""""""""I hate big crowds even when I went clubbing I hated crowds and it's not changing.""""""""""""""

I love crowds, as such, but I don't like the individuals that make up the crowds.

I like the energy of an entire stadium screaming for the right cause, like at those Emerson Lake and Palmer concerts. I like an entire gymnasium full of eleven- and twelve-graders jumping rhythmically, like a huge heart muscle that's in the "zone", to some boom-boom music. I love the roar of fans after a goal at the world soccer championships, and the goal-kicker running at full speed, with his fist in the air, and the biggest f smile you've ever seen on anyone's face. (I don't like though when they drop to their knees, kiss a crucifix, and emit a half-hour prayer of thanks to the lord. The prayer holds up the tempo of the match.)

And why I don't like the individuals? In my time they were bellowing, dope-smoking, bag-ffing, rambunctious no-good-doers. They smelled bad, they drank and they did not pay rent on time. Most of them had been to jail for more than two weeks. The women smoke, spat, gurgled with Windex, and had tats when it was not in vogue.

"""""""""""""""Op, You and your female are not compatible."""""""""""""

many people have given this verdict to the hapless OP. But I disagree, and I disagree strongly.

The OP and his older gf are very, VERY compatible. They have the fights, they have nothing in common, they break up almost hourly, but ... BUT they also get back together hourly, because... BECAUSE there is a very strong attraction on some level.

Now some of you may argue that attraction and compatibility are not the same thing, and your argument is valid. I say, however, that I am very compatible with my keyboard, yet I don't use it to whack off to.

Attraction, compatibility... they both work to keep a couple together. I say the boy OP and his mature woman lover are really into each other, and if you want to call their mesh incompatible, so be it... but I call them compatible in the whole as a couple, because they reunite exactly as many times as they break up, and they do CARE about what the other does not care about. This is genuine caring. More than what I pretended to have when several of my eternal loves told me how they were betrayed by their exes, and I say, yes, Hun, I am sorry, that **stard, as I kept on doing my Sunday morning sudoku.
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