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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?      Home login  
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 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 22
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
In the real world what you see is what you get. But it is interesting to be able to exchange emails first. You get to see if there's lasting chemistry from an intellectual perspective, which I think is really important. Because that's the element that contributes to a lasting relationship.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 23
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Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 10:41:02 AM
Dragonbits
I have had slightly more success in real life , simply because
the element of internet suprise is not there.
I can see and hear them in RL , an approach only the ones that interest me.
but, I can reach potentially more women over the net

To the question of my ex's .. yes I would have been attracted to them
in a profile, picture or RL
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 11:30:28 AM
I still prefer Online better than real life. Even though in Real Life I tend to attract a woman a lot younger than online. The problem has been that where I met in real life, a bar, a restaurant, a bike event were pure chemistry, so when we then dated, they became extremely boring afterwards.

Online dating, even though it's closer to my own age, give or take 10 years, the women have a lot more in common with me, we talk and talk and get along. Of if they were sexual, they were awesome. So I categorically still prefer online better than in real life.
 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 25
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 11:45:29 AM
Since being on this website, my answer would be a resounding NO. I find, so far, what is written is not what I anticipated. I find I prefer to meet men irl to be much more personable. Of course, I may just assume too much from a little profile and a few pics; something I wouldn't do irl.
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 26
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 3:03:05 PM
Given that most of us on this dating site, or any other for that matter, have turned to the internet in order to find a mate when one could not be found in the "real world" makes it an interesting question. If one thinks of POF as a "fairy tale site" where anything goes, then one is better off. We all know that there are all kinds here on POF, and that the written word and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee. Behind all pictures and keystrokes while on the internet, and what goes on in the "real world" lies the whole element of luck. If one is meant to be lucky, someone nice comes their way.

It would be nice to have to worry about such considerations in real life, but I do not.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 27
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 3:10:26 PM
I don't go entirely by a profile to contact a woman.
I do look for her dealbreakers.
and if I nothing applies to me on her list....
then I go by her eyes.

Kind eyes....I'll email her.
Mean eyes....I won't.

Kindof a simple system.
But works for me.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 28
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Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 4:20:08 PM
Funny how I was just contemplating two particular women that I became involved with from dating sites. One had a lousy profile and an awful picture (not physically ugly, just photographically speaking). She put me on her favorites which made me laugh because I thought this is not my type. I e-mailed her some snarky remark which then led to her IMing me. This led to an unexpected date that led to spending a lot of time together.

Another was a woman who was out of my specified age range and from another nearby state. I certainly would have never contacted her based on her profile. Besides the age and logistics, I didn't think we had anything in common. She was persistent and motivated though so that brought about communication between us. We ended up dating for some time.

My spin on this is that these are two women who I was not immediately interested in because of their profiles but whom I got to appreciate more as I got to know them. So, sometimes, it's even the ones that you wouldn't want to date from online that you end up dating after all. ;)
 toooldtoplay
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 29
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 1/30/2013 6:54:18 PM
I think they are both the same but in person everyone can see my face and I've had more women flirt with me in person. They would have to flirt pretty hard to get a date with me because I don't want anything to seperate me from my money. Right now there just hasn't been any dating or thinking about dates. The economy is in a bad rut and I don't see tomorro looking any better.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 30
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 2/1/2013 12:31:21 PM
My question was also, if someone you had met IRL had a profile, would you have dated him/her based on the profile?

I know my first GF was over 5.7 and weighed more than me, she was the love of my life for over 5 years, I also know that if I had saw her profile online, we would have never met.

I think it is an interesting angle, we reject many because of their profile, but perhaps we reject too many?
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 31
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Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 2/1/2013 3:08:25 PM

I think it is an interesting angle, we reject many because of their profile, but perhaps we reject too many?


Yes, you're right. We're all our worst enemies sometimes because we think we've got this all figured out down to a perfect formula (common interests + attraction + shared goals = soulmate). How can we ever truly know our potential with anyone based on a dating profile? They don't always advertise/sell themselves in the best way and we often have that itchy trigger finger on the clicker if we see one thing that raises an eyebrow.

It's too much of an intellectual weeding out process. We over-analyze too much about who's the best fit for us. What's missing is that in-person chemistry test which you can never have on a web site and the only people that we'll meet offline have to pass our stringent analysis.
 MiaIris
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 32
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 2/3/2013 1:48:45 AM
I had a 2 year relationship here because of a smiley, personable profile pic and instant message. I never read his profile. If I were to read his profile, I would understand him better. I really don't pay much attention to profiles since I have dated ppl w less than perfect profiles. Its the interaction I get from someone that determines whether I date them or not.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 33
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Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 2/3/2013 3:01:20 AM
I saw a picture of a co-worker on here, and I know this person at work, but they don’t know that I know he is on POF. I read his profile, and what I personally know about him in real life verses what he wrote on his profile is pretty accurate, but there’s something very important that he left out of his profile that a woman should know.
And that important fact about him would be a deal breaker for most women. He lives with his two other brothers!

I meet four men on POF and all four men where liars. One of these men are still on here, they are perpetual daters. This one guy says he has two children on his profile, but in all reality he has six children. Married four times, maybe five, he wasn’t sure about the fifth one, and joked it off when found out. His profile is excellent, and he has loads of friends here. The other guy was a cripple, two hip replacements on both sides, and need crutches everyday to walk around. 3rd one was a crack head, lives off of women, etc. The fourth one just wants to get laid and is more interested in booty calls, then anything else.

I’ve meet many men on the outside within the last four years. One didn’t want to work, and is more into his Harley and biker chicks than anything else, and is a perpetual bed hopper. There other one I meet I applied for a nanny position for a part- time job and he wasn’t looking for a nanny, he was looking to get another woman in his house to p##iss off his wife, because she cheated on him. The other one; a friend my mom’s tried to fix me up with her great and wonderful son, and he was retarded. All the rest are married and looking to cheat.

Regardless of the above stories every single one of these men are perpetual liars.

I stopped looking, smile, and enjoy my life. I go about my business and hang with my family and friends. The thing is for me after learning all that I have learned about relationships and dating. I finally accepted the fact that I am much happier living without one then dealing with the headaches that come with one. After being in situations like I have been, it’s not fun.

I know, I put that energy out that I’m not interested. I don’t make eye contact, because I am scared to death of men, and what I’ll end up with or get.

So off line or online, people play too many head games to get what they want. One never knows who they really meet. A great looking one, what seems to be a nice guy can turn out after a few dates or months a total night mare. A nice guy can have baggage too, just like that guy that I work with who is a super guy, but he’s got plenty of out of work situations or lifestyle that I would have no interest in, and bothered not to mention that important one, but there are others that he didn’t bother to write in his profile.

I sure don’t have my age going for me anymore. Who wants a 52 year old woman? Most guys like the 30 or 40 year olds, and younger.

So, I have learned that it’s ok to be a lone, I don’t want a relationship anymore, because it’s too damn hard, and the red flags are buried in the sand, until stepped on.

So, that’s it, and I'm ok with it. Happiness isn't based on another person. Happiness is not being a fool for one.
Jan
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 34
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 2/3/2013 3:49:22 AM
I prefer real life. My relationships that have stemmed from real life encounters were always stronger, simply due to the chemistry having been real from the get-go. You can use your intuition about a person, which is far more accurate, than going by words typed on a computer.

I would definitely not have dated my ex had I met her in real life. I met her off of Myspace, way back in the days.
It would've been clear she wasn't my type, had I bumped into her, versus having the chance to talk to her online for a long time, prior to meeting. Her personality from online to in person, was drastically different.

Main reason I don't put too much stock into a person, until I have met them, first (moving forward).
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 35
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 6:36:26 AM
Hi OP,

You referenced this in a new thread about 'average looks' and I'm reviving it because I had the same thought: how the things I've been attracted to IRL are different than OLD.

I've been single for 6.5 years and for the first couple, I met people IRL exclusively (maybe because I was newly single, I was out and about a LOT). I dated a man from my gym (ha, cliche!), a guy I met through friends and a few guys I met while out with friends (usually at sports bars, a favorite venue of mine). The guy I met through friends I dated for a year(ish). Our relationship ended when he moved away due to a job loss. I honestly don't know if I would have even met him in the OLD circle: I think he tended to go for younger women on line (I was older than him), he was a delight in person but not a great written communicator.

I decided to 'look' on-line using OLD because every guy I went out with from an IRL meeting was younger than me (from a bit to a lot) and mostly the same 'type'. I wanted to meet someone my own age, I wanted to go outside my my local area and I thought meeting men via OLD would allow me to give weight to other things than 'are they attractive/outgoing' (which I will admit seemed to be the primary drivers when I was meeting men IRL).

I would say the guys I've met via OLD have been (in general, there have been some exceptions) closer to my age and more articulate/educated. I've cared less about 'how handsome (photogenic really)' someone was and more how they communicated. For me, OLD has actually allowed me to take a 'substance over form' approach - which seems counter to how a lot of people find OLD to work.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 36
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 7:25:32 AM

Msg 35: Regardless of the above stories every single one of these men are perpetual liars.


The common denominator in your choice of men is YOU. Do you ever wonder why other women can meet men who are not perpetual liars?
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 37
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 7:53:16 AM
^^ I most agree.

On the other hand, those who are not had found a safe harbor in me (though I don't project myself as one), and I got to endure the conversations about how much their ex wives were lying you-know-whats.

As for the topic, it's one the reasons why I do consider people who aren't academically educated, but life educated; many have owned their own businesses and traversed the world with many interesting life experiences to share.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 38
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 9:03:44 AM

So, I have learned that it’s ok to be a lone, I don’t want a relationship anymore, because it’s too damn hard- Jan


I think you've become jaded for whatever reason, you were probably that way prior to the four men you met on POF. And yeah, you're going to get people who lie. I think lying is very common place on POF, blatant lies you can sometimes discern by analyzing the profile.

If they say they have a graduate degree, but the profile is incoherent, or riddled with simple grammar mistakes - chances are they don't have a graduate degree. And chances are they never even attended college.

You can answer that sort of thing pretty readily. Also if they say they are a certain body type, but go out of their way to avoid showing their body, then they're probably lying. If they say they're athletic, but have a belly and no muscles, then its a blatant lie.

The majority of the women on PoF lie about one thing or another. Mostly about education, sometimes about age, they will lie about body-type / take pictures at flattering angles.

And guys do it too, guys lie about the same crap.

The point is it doesn't matter, because all people lie. Just hold out hope for a decent guy, I did that for a girl, and I found her in due time.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 39
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Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 9:48:58 AM
It seems to me that once you meet in person, all the rest is "real life" compared to "on line" with just the imagination as your foundation.

Now, saying that, you may have more information "on line" to evaluate, but you also do not know up front, what it real and what is not. When you meet in "real life" you see what you are getting physically, but you still do not know all the "facts" about who or what they are, and that is pretty much the same as "on line"!!

For me, meeting in person and then peeling the layers off as we get to know each other, far outweighs having information in front of me, but not the actual person to show me all those things one gets from seeing, feeling, touching, and evaluating while in the meet and greet stage. One can fib about much in their life, and it does not matter if we are reading it in a profile, or hearing it in person while being set up on a blind date.

The end result always comes from taking what is there and finding out what is real or not, and seeing if what is there has mutual attraction, and chemistry enough to foster finding out if we are truly compatible or not.

cd
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 40
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 10:42:02 AM
I have read her profile which I found just after she moved out. She painted a really nice picture of herself (lots of lies, along with admitting that she was indeed a horse owner despite what she was telling the court at the same time), and she was capable of acting that way until there was any kind of problem to be addressed.

Knowing her as I do now, I would have never dated her even though I was desperate to have a relationship (to the point of suicidal thoughts) at the time. Now if I am ever to have another relationship, the woman will have a real battle proving herself to me - that may be unfair, but tough feces.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
Real world Vs Internet profile, would you still date the same person?
Posted: 10/7/2014 5:11:23 PM
this summer, I crossed paths with two women I had emailed at this site. both looked at good in person as they did in ph0tos, so I'm sure it was them. conversation with one went so well, another couple came over to talk to us, and the lady in question mentioned twice in the 1.5 hr that we didn't know each other, we just met, wasn't it funny how well we got along?

but the body language was clear--it wasn't going any further than that. so, in opposite to this post title, she wouldn't date me online nor in person.
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