Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What to say on the first message?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 patchman1313
Joined: 8/18/2013
Msg: 51
What to say on the first message?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I have tried all the BS messaging tricks. I always tie in their interests, if they state that they like horror movies I will message "I love horror movies and I'm excited that Halloween is approaching because I love going to haunted houses" and stuff like that. If they put on their profile that they like comic books, I will say that I like comics too and ask them if they have ever been to the C2E2 or the Wizard World conventions. They put, "I'm a huge Blackhawks fan", I'll message "I love the Hawks, go to any games last year?" No responses. The bottom line is that this site is like going into a bar and seeing 3 girls and 50 guys and all the guys are hitting on these 3 girls. You can jump in and try your best to beat out the other 50 guys or just go to another bar. The problem with online dating is that you don't see the other 50 guys, so it provides an illusion that the odds are better. You would probably be better off writing your messages on a piece of cardboard and standing along side the highway. ATB Patchman
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 52
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 9/15/2013 4:50:43 PM

Don't say "nice boobs". They hate that.


Guys probably don’t like it, either.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 53
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 9/15/2013 6:49:40 PM

I guess this would be true if you only looked at pictures and "maybe" read the profile using that as a basis to decide whether you would reply ( positively, negatively, or not at all). I based my comment on my own habit of reading the message first, then looking at the profile.


Fair enough. Although I think the people that look at the email first are the exceptions.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 54
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 9/16/2013 6:21:29 PM
Post 61 is correct. Don't write what girls claim they want to receive in a message.

The movie Tootsie has a realistic sequence. While the man is disguised as a woman, an actual woman confides in "her" what line she wishes a man would use on her in a bar. Later he's in his natural state as a man, in the same room with that woman at a party or bar. He uses the exact line on her, verbatim. She reacts with disgust, throwing a drink in his face or slapping him.

The vast majority of women would react negatively to the message they claim they would like.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 55
view profile
History
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 9/16/2013 6:33:50 PM
^^^^ Exception or not, I'm still here, lol. Methods & opinions mean very little unless you've achieved the desired result :)
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 56
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 9/16/2013 6:34:18 PM
^^^^^

See…..women recognize that what she confided in who she thought was a female friend is that she is tired of THE GAMES. Only a man would think she wanted to hear those words from a man.

Actually, that’s kinda funny.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 57
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/4/2014 10:50:09 PM
how's this for a 1st message?

"If this wasnt a site and instead some kind of public setting Mall, Bar, party, Potato Festival, etc. I would walk up to you and say Hello Miss my name is Gerald! wait for your name. Then I'd say well "your name" which I see is Amber youre very pretty! How can a guy like me get to know you better?"
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 58
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/4/2014 11:49:18 PM
People say write something that says you read their profile, what they don't tell you is that despite that you still have the same chances of them responding if you just say "hi". This place is a dice roll and you shouldn't put too much effort into a single roll or else you either dry up too quick or lose motivation.
 LoveTheOutdoorsDoYou
Joined: 12/31/2013
Msg: 59
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:33:24 AM
I always say "Hi" and mention something I read in their profile that we have in common, or I find interesting...keep it short and end with "hope to hear back from you."

Don't get discouraged...I've found that 99.9999% don't have the courtesy to write back. Best you can do is look at "who viewed me" and see if someone you wrote to viewed you. Never contact someone twice...women don't like desperate or pushy.

The worst thing you can do is act desperate...classy women want a self-confident men that aren't players.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 60
view profile
History
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:29:02 AM
don't listen to all the douchenozzles who say "search forums before asking" and then post an entire page of links.......so friendly huh?

None of us can tell you how to be ...YOU! Nor can any of us tell you what will work with this particular woman who's caught your eye or any other you want to approach down the road. Take your time to put your words together, be 100% you/your personality in what you write. No tricks, tips or suggestions from someone else.........just be YOU.


and good luck!
 26danAZAK
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 61
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 2:53:58 PM
Despite all the people who say not to Hi or how are you I think it is acceptable. You can experiment but I have found not much of a difference than when I try to write something funny or go into specifics about her profile. It is a conversation starter. Every message that I have received from a women on this site has been. Hi, Hey, or How are you? Most of it is going to be based off your pictures and the content of your profile. The opener should not matter that much unless it is weird, creepy, offensive etc.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 62
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 3:00:26 PM
thats cause ladies don't have to put as much effort into it. the few times when a woman contacted me 1st on here it was very generic stuff. 1 time it was just "youre cute"
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 63
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 3:28:11 PM
I'll second GJBrown's experience. Most of the messages I've gotten from women were some variation of "hi, there", "hey cutie", "Hey handsome" or "hi! how are you".

Outside of that I've had one person who actually put some effort into her match, one offer to sit on my face, and one person who wanted me to go outside of my geographic area that was clearly written in my profile. After trying to make conversations out of the " hi, there" emails I put up a word count minimum . I thought it would get me some better quality messages, instead I got one person who trashed me for putting up a word count minimum and my looks, followed by some characters to get the message sent.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 64
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 3:41:54 PM
GJBrown

Really?? In your experience online, that has always happened, I think not....... Anyway the pic decides whether the girl will be interested and the message may or may not make a difference unless it is really suggestive or sleazy.


What are you trying to say Doria!? I said the "few times" a woman contacted me 1st. You calling me a liar or just not cute? I'm not lieing and you do not speak for anyone who happens to find me attractive.
 26danAZAK
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 65
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 5:09:54 PM
Haha, I always find it annoying when girls have that word count minimum. I guess it makes some sense if you have 100 hi there emails. But still think the pic and profile is the most important.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 66
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 6:36:23 PM
Unless a man states something that is overaggressive or rude, it doesn't matter what he writes. It will depend on the photos and maybe the profile as well.

I also agree with what another poster mentioned. I was using a different dating site, most women that contacted me first sent me "winks" or short generic emails such as "How are you?"
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 67
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/13/2014 8:07:31 AM
What to say?

Easy. Here are four very effective messages:

"What does the fox say?"

"Would you like to see photos of my junk?"

"Hey there..."

"Do you have photos of you with more cleavage?"
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 68
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 5:28:29 PM

Don't ask the woman out for a meet/her phone number immediately. It's coming off as a tad desperate and it's creepy.

Exactly. Give her Your # and Tell her to meet you somewhere. Women like the guy to be a Man, and have initiative.

Ask her one or two questions based on her profile. Do not bombard her.

When there's nothing to really ask about -- be generic, too. "So how do you like being female?" or "How do you like being Average body type?"

Don't rattle on and on about yourself.

Yep. You don't want to rattle. You want to make a long poem. Make sure it rhymes. And that it's all about You. Women like a guy with self confidence... plus, they want to get to know you. They can't do that by listening to themselves!

Keep it light.

Yes... a maximum of only three exclamation points (!) after each sentence...

Add a touch of humour.

Great angle... make sure you say something about her arse and what you'd do to it. The "just kidding" shortly after will add that touch of humor. She won't stop laughing.

Don't comment on her physical attributes.

Okay, scratch that one above -- replace it with one of her family members'. Makes the humor more enjoyable anyway.

Don't ask/beg her to reply/check you out.

Yes... you don't ask or beg. Sheesh! You Demand it. You tell them you're Entitled to them reading your profile and replying with gracious humility. If they don't respond, just write them again -- and more. Maybe they skimmed over it too much or you didn't write enough in your poem about Yourself!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 69
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 5:31:53 PM

Yes... you don't ask or beg. Sheesh! You Demand it. You tell them you're Entitled to them reading your profile and replying with gracious humility. If they don't respond, just write them again -- and more. Maybe they skimmed over it too much or you didn't write enough in your poem about Yourself!


Hurrah, yeah baby!! And don't you forget it.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 70
view profile
History
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 7:01:16 PM
I'd like to know what abmccray says in his first messages, since he claims to have a 1:1 ratio of returns on all his messages. He must have an amazing line of bull for every lady to be returning his messages.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 71
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 8:32:51 PM
Haha @ Confident-Realist (Post 81.)
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 72
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 9:04:30 PM
I always end with 'what's your name?'...but be careful. If their name is already mentioned in profile, you will look stupid!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 73
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 10:42:07 PM

I'd like to know what abmccray says in his first messages, since he claims to have a 1:1 ratio of returns on all his messages. He must have an amazing line of bull for every lady to be returning his messages.


Resistance is futile. Resistance is futile.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 74
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/14/2014 11:01:16 PM

I always end with 'what's your name?'...but be careful. If their name is already mentioned in profile, you will look stupid!


I don't ask what the guy's name is but when I start a message, I put the user name down.....to start my greeting....
complete message and send. Then, I realize, the guy's name is in the profile.....Yep - stupid me! Yikes! Luckily, I have
been forgiven on a couple of occasions. Whooo-hoooo!
 PlentyofThis123
Joined: 11/23/2013
Msg: 75
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/15/2014 2:07:05 AM

I've gotten from women were some variation of "hi, there", "hey cutie"


Women don't like this, that's for sure, I've seen several of them say in their profile not to email them with such intros.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What to say on the first message?