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 Ron_Wigington
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 51
Why can't single dads get dates???Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
REALLY? That is so not the most common reason.
 friendsrwelcome
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 52
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:37:26 AM
Man you hit that nail on the head.....

It is funny they want us to accept them at face value, but we do not get the same in return. I have 4 kids 3 are grown living on their own and my youngest lives with me. All my kids stayed with me after the mother left. Been in the same place 15 years. I also get the rejection, So I just keep looking for the right one. She is out there somewhere.
 sassybaby2013
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 53
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:58:52 AM
They can ive seen alot of my own friends date and marry single dads.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 54
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:40:14 AM

Why can't we get dates? Because women are just as shallow as men. Of course who ever we date will come second to our kids. This doesn't mean though that you could never be apart of my life or my kids life's.


Good grief.

Not wanting to deal with someone else's kids and everything that comes with it (like last minute cancellations, crazy ex wives or husbands who are always in the picture, not having much free time alone because they always have their kids, rarely being able to do something impulsive because the parent can't get away for the weekend without an act of congress, and the list goes ON) doesn't make someone 'shallow.' It just means it's NOT a lifestyle relationship they care to take part of. "Shallow" is when someone judges another superficially purely on their looks or their worth. It has nothing to do with not wanting to deal with someone's kids. Jesus.

I just love how you claim people are so 'shallow' because they don't want to date you because 'your kids are your world,' then your very next sentence tells exactly why they don't want to date you - because they'll ALWAYS be "second place." Gee, I can't imagine why tons of people aren't literally knocking each other down to be first in line to sign up for that.


I have never had an issue with someone who understood the issues or the potential added implications...added financial liabilities...or added baggage dating a single parent entailed....or is it some are just not desperate...willing to accept anything and any little bit because they have little of substance to offer?


That does make you shallow. Deal with it.


Sorry...but selfish or shallow or lacking in consideration is where some would suggest you are....you have added financial responsibilities...added emotional responsibilities....you will bring less to the table than a 25 yr old who has no children and who is able and capable of putting 100% into a relationship...as opposed to your 25%?

So who is shallow....the one unwilling or incapable of realizing their less than 100% ability to put into a relationship is perhaps unfair to the other party????....or the one who feels they are entitled to not having this used as a balance of whether someone wants to date you?

I have never seen someone as being shallow for viewing that as a consideration...I just view them as pragmatic and carefull. Life is after all a series of checks and balances......one counts the pluses...all the pluses....and measures them againts the minus....all the minus...a simple balance sheet.....age 25...single and a child....???? How many single age 25 without children are there....big pool of fish.....age 35...single and a child???? Single age 35 with no child....far smaller pool....checks and balance...shall we talk about second marriages...higher failure rate....??? shall we talk about employment and custodial parents???

The lady was not shallow....just carefull and sensible....to bad you have a problem with reality!!!!
 zephyr57
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 55
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:28:16 AM
Single dad's can't get dates? Not having that problem.

Honestly, a lot of it is your personality and confidence. And you have to realize that dating is like baseball. Even the best players only hit the ball 30% of the time.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 56
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:03:32 AM
dating is like baseball. Even the best players only hit the ball 30% of the time.


You might want to not paint yourself as a player with analogies like that.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 57
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:59:30 PM
I had 4 dates in 1 weekend.. all 4 of them were single dads.. there ya go.. at least 4 single dads got a date.. and 1 of them continues to get them :D Oh.. and a 5th one almost got a date. but he decided I'm shallow or something.. lol.. Not my issue there.

I'd suggest if you can't get a date.. it's likely something you are projecting that is turning off women or.. maybe you're being to picky?

Anyway.. I see plenty of single dads getting dates.. Really time to look unto yourself eh?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 58
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/12/2013 7:54:43 AM
I had 4 dates in 1 weekend.. all 4 of them were single dads.. there ya go.. at least 4 single dads got a date.. and 1 of them continues to get them and a 5th one almost got a date


Thanks for being a good sport and taking almost 5 for the team and giving us an indication of the ease an frequency with which an average woman on POF dates.
 ottawasweetz
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 59
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:53:25 AM
My experiences often have been that when a man with children smile at me..its not so much the children that I'm running from (I have kids); sometimes it the uh oh..is he married with kids and flirting, looking a side dish? or uh oh, does he have any babymama drama...trust me. There are quite a few men out there that have made it difficult for women to be open-minded. And its not like if u ever smiled at me, I would ask u 101 questions right then and there to know if u are legit or a womanizer/cheater. So its safe to say, that it is possible to get dates as a single father..for sure. It just takes time :-)
 capt.picard
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 60
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/12/2013 10:58:05 AM
There are plenty of women that date single dads, both on line and off, do not despair. Just like anything else its what type of lifestyle the woman is looking for. If you pursue the ones that want to travel and be able to roll out to germany at a moments notice they are not a good match for you, choose some that are going to be compatible with your lifestyle. I am 47 with a 7 year old and have no issue getting a date. I think being a dad and taking care of your kids shows you have good character traits, it is unfortunate that there are alot of men that shirk there responsibilities to there kids, and I know women are guilty of this too, but my own gender is the worst offender. Anyway just buck up, the right one will come along eventually and remeber its not always the destination its the journey.
 bluefish7070
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 61
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/12/2013 11:49:37 PM
first:
there are roughly as many single dads as there are single moms.
second:
single moms are more likely to be actual moms (actual parents) than single dads who too often, unfortunately, are only a parent biologically but do not take much parental responsibility and therefore act and can be counted as single and with no children.
third:
the single (no children) life and the single parent life usually are (and should be) quite different.
different responsibilities, different freedoms, different interests, different amount of disposable time and income, different outlook on life.

my advice:
it is easier (more likely to result in a successful relationship) for single parents to date single parents and for single people with no kids to date single people with no kids.

fortunately there is no shortage of potential dates in either group.
 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 62
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/13/2013 7:17:59 AM
As someone with an adult son, I never imagined I'd be willing to date someone with young children. He's not a full time dad though and, tbh, that makes a difference to me. I just hope he's not in a hurry to introduce me to them; it would be difficult for me once the relationship ended and I became attached to them early on.

I can't help but wonder when other 'part-time' dads introduce their children to their dates. I'm assuming one would be cautious and wait to see if the dating leads to a relationship first.

No idea because I've never dated anyone with young ones until now. Fingers crossed.
 soulsearcher012
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/13/2013 9:33:58 AM
I met a woman from POF we went on a date and talked for over 3 hours.
we had a great night just getting to know each other it was very nice.

At the end of the night I walked her to her car and said thanks I had a nice time
with that she grabbed me hugged me tight then planted a slow soft kiss right on my lips ( yes I kissed her back )
after the kiss I asked her If I could see her again she looked me right in the eye and said I don't think so.
when I asked her why she said she didn't want to get involved with a guy who had kids.

So my reply to her was DIDN"T YOU READ MY PROFILE ???
she said yes but given your age I though maybe your child was grown
she said she didn't know he was so young I was stunned
so now if I contact a woman here I ask this question. I have a son who is 8 he doesn't live with me is that a problem?

I don't want that to happen again..
 turntwo43
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 64
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/13/2013 12:15:52 PM
My 2 cents is maybe they don"t want to be with someone who has children, because they don"t want to play " mother". I wouldnt ask for that, my daughter is 16. Yes, it does seem harder for us, I kinda thought that the woman would think " his daughter lives with him, he must be a good guy". But who knows what women on here are looking for? I imagine there are some decent ones, that's why I hang around.
 turntwo43
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 65
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/13/2013 12:16:48 PM
My 2 cents is maybe they don"t want to be with someone who has children, because they don"t want to play " mother". I wouldnt ask for that, my daughter is 16. Yes, it does seem harder for us, I kinda thought that the woman would think " his daughter lives with him, he must be a good guy". But who knows what women on here are looking for? I imagine there are some decent ones, that's why I hang around.
 1WishList
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 66
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/13/2013 11:56:55 PM
@Dino .... If you actually know anything about baseball, you would know that .300 is a really good average (WINK) .......
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 67
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/15/2013 9:38:00 PM
There are some people that as a bright line rule will not date a single parent. I think being a single dad or single mother raises red flags for most other people, including single mothers and single fathers. Not all single parents are bad people, but single parents are more likely than others to have certain undesirable traits.

Many women (and men for that matter) do not want to date Maury Povitch guests who have 17 children with 17 different people. Many people want to avoid drama between the single parent and the ex who will always be in the picture. Many people see being a single parent as evidencing a lack of good judgment if you had the child while unmarried and/or the child was not carefully planned. Many people want to avoid the financial drain of having to take care of someone else's child.

I say this being a single dad myself. I am sure my divorced with kid status drives many women away. I am not opposed to dating single mothers and have met single mothers I would not mind dating, but I do have some reservations about dating many single mothers. I know this may make me a hypocrite, but I cannot help feeling the way I feel.
 SingleDadJonney26
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 68
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/18/2013 2:00:41 PM
Im a sinitgle father.. No messages, not one. Just sayin.
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 69
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/19/2013 6:51:49 PM
I would date a single dad in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, the ones I've met usually only complain about their ex's, child support, alimony, how she cheated, how her new boyfriend is effing up the kids, etc. It gets old really fast, especially on the first date.

I'd be just as happy dating someone who didn't want kids as I would be dating someone who had kids either F/T or P/T. Just don't complain about your ex all the time or expect me to worship the ground you walk on because you are a responsible parent and involved. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO!
 nicestlguy
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 70
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/19/2013 10:37:54 PM
Try being a 56 year old single dad who has a 12 year old and a 10 year old !!!
 butterflykis1975
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 71
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/20/2013 12:13:39 PM
i love single dads, especially the ones u can tell that there kids mean everything. And to those dads that have custody, all my praise goes out to u! yes dating can be a little tricky sometimes when u both have to get a sitter. but to me nothing is sexier then watching a guy be a good dad!
 MirageOfPenguins
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 72
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/20/2013 2:40:42 PM
It's easy to get dates. I get asked out numerous of times. Since I refuse to date I decline all the time. My son doesn't do well with new people involved and gets protective of me. I plan on waiting until he's an adult to get back to the dating scene again. Works best that way, imo, especially for his case
 southernrock80
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 73
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/20/2013 8:33:05 PM
Im a single father of two children whom I have custody of, Now to be completely honest I have not had one women on here ask me to talk to them or show interest in me what so ever. I have sent several messages to women and either I don't get a response or I get a really lame excuse. Im not sure exactly what is going on, are most of the women only looking for sex or what... I actually would like to date and have a serious relationship. But I guess I am asking to much. Very frustrated........................

Oh one more thing, Im sure most if not all just look at the pictures and then that's it. I for one actually read a womens profile before I decide to message them or not...................
 Paul9473
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 74
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/21/2013 12:49:32 AM
I don't see getting dates as a problem, but more where to go from there. About half the time I take the kids on the train I get hit on (and even occasionally back when I had a wife by my side). I shy off scared that they would just want me for my kids, though I can understand and relate to that.
scifigirl97 put together a pretty good list that I find myself also expecting a single woman without kids to be thinking. There'd also similarly be a list when it comes to dating a single mum. Most likely it'd be lengthy.
When it comes down to it, we've been through a bit more of life than most and have gotten set in our way to a certain degree. I can very much understand that this could be frustrating to anyone wanting to have scope to mold their potential partner into their idea of the idealised man. Of course you can't expect the non-parent in the relationship to do all the accommodating and you need to assess how you can be as flexible as possible.
Yes the woman does come second to the kids (at least until their grown up a bit) but how is that necessarily insulting? For a Dad that adores his kids intensely and makes a fantastic parent, second place is often a far better than most guys first place. Love isn't a finite resource that needs to be budgeted and distributed carefully.
Maybe the women you approach aren't the right demographic. Idk, I think if your parenting is evident it will naturally attract the right woman. That being said, I do have a bit of the puppy personality myself and like to give chase:)
 awfulwaffle2112
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 75
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:19:12 PM
women do not accept children who arent their own. thier maternal insticts are naturally geared for their own children. they might say they can but they dont. thats one of the reasons why it so difficult to date/have a relationship with a "pre-made" family. Hence the stories of evil stepmothers...not actually evil....the bond just isnt there.
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