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 McLovin4127
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 101
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Why can't single dads get dates???Page 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
your just trying to be nice ! I'm also a single father of three children and they live with me full time. I also work ft and it makes it hard to date and have some "me" time. I have met a few people that would like to date me and be with me but finding time for them is the difficult part. so i just stay single and become there friend and hang out with them as much as i can. when they fall heads over heels in love with me im sure they will ask me out. I wait for the girl to make the move first and let me know she has interest in me. I just like to have female friends and let fate go from there.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 102
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/28/2013 9:07:10 PM
Yeah everyone has baggage but I don't think it's insensitive to say kids are baggage, cause they are (just like other things). I'm not saying their spawns of the devil or anything but it's something anyone out there dating has to keep in mind when looking at a person (as well as other baggage they may carry)..Let's not try to make this all nice and peachy, dating someone with kids is completely different and in a lot of way harder than someone without.
Again I dont have anything against single mothers (since I would have no problem dating one with lets say 1-2 kids and no baby daddy issues), heck I myself am a godfather to my nephew and soon to my niece..
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 103
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/28/2013 10:22:49 PM
Why don't you make the first move Mclovin (funny name btw lol!, catchy well played sir)? I see your point, but what if they just friend zone you? I'm not a single parent but I really do feel for single parents, especially single mom's (who have to put with PUA's/Don Juan's who turn their biggest weakness in dating TIME, into a positive as it lets them date other women at the same time and play more of them), but at your age McLovin I would assume dating single parents is just part of life for single people. I just say just go for it man, trust me lol I've let a lot of good opportunities go myself..
I'ts very diff. at my age group (say late 20's/early 30's) as there is still a fair amount of people without kids still, especially if a man is wiling to date younger.
 Iflylow79
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 104
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/1/2013 1:28:25 AM
To "scifigirl97", I simply used your answer as a gateway to mine as many women do indeed think these very thoughts about men with children. My answers are not a reflection of your thinking as you clarified that you have learned many things in your journey through life, causing you to rethink some of those very thoughts. Thank you for being so honest.

I see some very polarizing views here. While i believe that I understand the psychology behind many of these answers I fail to understand why many people fail to see the obvious.

Many people live in a state of fear of something. What if, what if, what if and more what ifs...lol

Yes, the man may have a crazy ex. What if he does. The real question here is how does HE deal with this issue? Has he found a resolution for this before looking for another potential mate? Why not ask instead of assuming anything?

I love this one....divorced for a "reason." Of course he is divorced for a reason. There must be something behind what happened. Maybe it was him and maybe it wasn't. Just ask and find out.

Ok, so I understand the whole "First Experience Fantasy" Truly not mocking anyone here. It is a fantasy ora dream or simply a want and there is nothing wrong with that. What is interesting is that for most of us, we end up finding out that this wasn't nearly as important as we originally thought it would be.

Looking for a mommy for his kids. Personally, I love this "what if." So, unless he goes out of his way to state that he isn't then this is automatically the assumption? My answer to this is really quite simple. A family is a family. The only way to make a relationship work with someone who has a kid or kids is to completely accept whatever role/s may come your way as the other adult in the household should you get to that point. As a man who only dates women with kids, I want to be a large part of their lives at some point. Not immediately. Not even close. My first objective is getting to know the female that I am talking to. Should it become quite serious then I am open minded and willing to accept whatever role her child/ren are willing to allow me to be. Children have basic wants, thoughts, and feelings. Showing them that you are willing to accept whatever role they allow and not forcing yourself is the easiest way to integrate yourself into their lives. They want to be loved and need attention, structure and good role models. Showing them that this is important to you as well will go a long way. If you, as a person without children don't know this yet, then you really shouldn't be dating anyone with children. This should be your real reason for not wating to date someone with children. Because of your own lack of experience.

"Parenting skills" is a very legitimate point. If they parent in a way that is clearly different from the way that you would parent then you simply aren't a match. Again, however, don't use the "what if"...simply find out for yourself. You may find yourself surprised.

To answer the original post. Honestly bro, it's all about luck and timing. Just be proud to be you and to be in the situation that you're in. There are MANY women who date men with children. Good luck.
 Iflylow79
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 105
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/1/2013 1:40:44 AM
I feel the need to add this.

If you feel that children are "baggage" then you are way behind the eight ball and I honestly feel sorry for you. If that is the first thought going through your mind where children are concerned, then how will you view your own children when you have them? If you see them the same way, then I feel bad for them.

Children uplift, teach, love unconditionally and enhance lives in ways that so many people fail to truly understand. Baggage doesn't do that.
 LuvnLife1227
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 106
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:02:18 PM
I agree with you. I have a pic with my daughter and I am not a bad looking guy and I honestly haven't been able to get a single reply in 9 months of being on here from any woman that I send the first message to whether they have kids or not. I have had lots of the want to "meet me" but from the ones I looked at they are clearly not my type. I have never had a problem getting a date. The few that I have actually spoke with contacted me first and even though they are not someone that I would have even looked if I passed by them in a crowded room but they had great personalitites. To be honest I was or am lonely as hell so they were good company. I have actually had two women around 26 yrs old actually tell me they had to go and hang up after I mentioned my daughter. I would never change anything but it is depressing. I think if you are attempting to date a woman that does not have kids you shouldn't tell her right away until you are actually dating. It is sad but I never had a clue that woman are as shallow as men.

Well, I need to figure something out soon to get a date with someone that I consider my type becuz it's been a long time since I've had sex and it's not getting any easier. I'm about quality guys not quantity. sorry


Luvn
 LuvnLife1227
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 107
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:03:45 PM
Sorry, but that doesn't make a bit of sense.


Luvn
 samuellandaverde
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 108
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 5:51:14 AM
kids are not a baggage i have to and i am haven problems to date to but i love then
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 109
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 11:23:07 AM
Well idk why anyone is so upset that someone would not want to put ou with ur kid regardless of how hot u are. U can not give me undo aged attention I can't be ur most important thing n we can't just disaper for whole weekend go on vacation n so on. I want two kids at some point - my own two n not more than that. U date someone get married n have kids In that order. And if I can't get for guy what I can't offer him case closed idk why single parent does n get that. U Ll r prop best dads/ moms. But u prop will make pretty lame bf / gf. Me as well as couple of my friends tried date ppl with kids and it was horror stories.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 110
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 11:43:08 AM
I have a dog n it kind of relates to what I'm trying to explain he is my world he is spoiled pet of mine but he can be pain in butt n he is very mischeves
I do not blame guys who don't like dogs are Alergic don't want a pet or think he is a monster. I love him. But he is sort of pain in butt at times. And I wouldn't ask ppl why u don't want to date me if pet is something they don't want to arrange their life around. N def I would not call then selfis stupid or none of that that's rude
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 111
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 4:38:01 PM
I never said that having a dog is same as having a child I just said is as a example. If guy doesn't want to date me bc he doesn't want to out up with walking a dog feeding him deal with his hair. But I would never say anything rude about him he can choose not to deal with that. I just don't want any responsibility with someone else kid. I still hope to meet a person so we can have " our own " kids. That's all please don't put words In my mouth. N I'm not blind I tried to date a few fathers they kids were nightmare caters was even to broke or to tired they were very short on time and exes never wanted to go away and get their owns lives. Who the hell want a that. U r bilind if u think thy any normal person want s to put up with that. I would quicer date guys with two or three dogs then guy with even one child just for ur personal info.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 112
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 4:38:09 PM
I never said that having a dog is same as having a child I just said is as a example. If guy doesn't want to date me bc he doesn't want to out up with walking a dog feeding him deal with his hair. But I would never say anything rude about him he can choose not to deal with that. I just don't want any responsibility with someone else kid. I still hope to meet a person so we can have " our own " kids. That's all please don't put words In my mouth. N I'm not blind I tried to date a few fathers they kids were nightmare caters was even to broke or to tired they were very short on time and exes never wanted to go away and get their owns lives. Who the hell want a that. U r bilind if u think thy any normal person want s to put up with that. I would quicer date guys with two or three dogs then guy with even one child just for ur personal info.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 113
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/2/2013 5:11:38 PM
Msg 132, Bravo
Msg 126 You're an idiot, by definition kids are baggage, obviously I'm not some kid hater or animal. In fact the opposite..P.S I was raised by a step-dad who I think of as my real dad (and he thinks of me as his son, just call me son not step-son), I never knew my real dad.

Us singles without any kids don't know anything about how you feel, maybe to some extent if we have nieces' and nephew's but it's still not the same because their not full time. The reason above (Msg 132) is why when single parents put stuff like "My kid's come first above everyone else" "If you don't like that move long" "I don't need a father figure" (this is on the funniest because if the point of the relationship is marriage what the **** are we going to be, just your live in **** buddies?), etc..the list goes on and on, it's kind of bad and a lot of people are put off by it and makes you prime candidates for a pump and dumb for some people. The only way we are going to have those feeling is if we develop feelings for the singe mother (or father) and kid(s), then maybe the person could un blind the other person lol..

That's just my two cents..if that makes me a monster/not mature/idiot/you feeling sorry for me/etc..then you seriously need to look in the mirror and think of other people viewpoints/feeling/thought/etc..on the matter.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 114
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:16:06 AM
Well doesn't later what I or anyone else calls them. It is what it is. One u never be number one is someone's lives well I don't want to be second they never have me eh n time. Well when the weekend come around I want to go do stuff not waiting around when u don't have middle sit in bc u broke. Sometimes their kid just drain them so we have to chill again. N I want my own two kids it's easier to buy two cars then four send to kids to college than two but prop guy would not like to have two more. Looking at ur kid will aliways temInd me that u had something very special with someone else. If we to have kidS my first one won't be ur First one. U all prop best parent ever n ur kids are best thing that ever walked the earth. I GET IT. But they are draing tieding whining n why I god earth I would want to put up with that when I'm not working. I'm working in schools so I'm def not a kid hater. But u date get married n have kids no t other way around. I also forgot to mention vacation no intend going to Disney before I will have my own kids weekends waiting for u until mom dad picks them up. Forgot about going away for weekend n sleeping in on weekends with lil kids u can't do that. Single parents needs to keep it I'm mind. That is a lot to give up for someone's else's kids. Even if they are perfect. Some guy I went out with asked me if I'm sure I do t have any bc they would like family but not with some other man kids so I'm not alone on that. I guess that is why that's all
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 115
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:21:29 AM
I really care less bc I don't date guys with kids so I don't run into those oncovinences bc it's not for me at this point I'm not maried I don't have kids so why would I? I was just ansering the question. I think some of my thoughts of that why it's so hard for single parents. Some ppl have my similar or different reasons. Those are mine thoughts on that that's it.
 New_year_New_Journies
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 116
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:35:39 AM
That is crazy..I would prefer to date a man with kids.. I think then he will appreciate what I go through as a single parent and you both kind of have an unspoken rule that the kids come first. I feel it also means that, that person is not needy and does not expect to have 100% of your time. Hang in there a gal would be crazy not to date someone who loves kids.. It just means well, that you haven't found the right one yet!

good luck,
J
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 117
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:08:22 AM
Needy has nothing to do with it. Eating for mom who's is now really late to pick up kids when we had somewhere to be not cool. U to broke n tired bc u had kids till 5 so we will stay in and nap/ chill. ? Forget scheduling anything involving travel bc u have to be back by ... Bc u need to pick kids. Cancels dates. That's not needy that's tieding after a while. Yeah and all I would here is KIDS COME FIRST I have responsibility yada yada yada. And yes u do. But that's not my issues is urs. So If u have kid no thank u. Sorry if it sounds harsh rude or whatever else u guys want to call me. Don't forgets selfish too. But it is just not for everyone. Some women have some want more so not looking for guy with kids some dont n want to start from Scrach. And some don't want kids period. Yeah there is some that are fine with that but it's limited pool and it will take u some time. I can only speak for those who choose to not have any yet or not have any period
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 118
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:36:33 PM
I'm sorry ma'am, but despite your sunny personality I don't think you're much of catch. I can't get past the first 10 words of any of your messages with a clear understanding of what you are saying.

This is one single father who would turn you down, because I wouldn't want someone around my child who can't be bothered to type out the remaining 5 letters in the word because.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 119
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:52:34 PM
K when u learn other language as well as I did Englush than judge me. Yes English is not my native language. Until than shut the hell up bc u know nothing about me
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 120
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:56:13 PM
N lucky for me ur child does not attend schools I work in. Patents of student I have have no issues with me so far. I graduated on the top of my class with degree in medical science. So don't judge someone based on few sentences bc u really don't know
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 121
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 2:08:03 PM

K when u learn other language as well as I did Englush than judge me. Yes English is not my native language. Until than shut the hell up bc u know nothing about me


Well if I was a lot younger....and did not have the responsibilities of being the primary parent I would be calling Kat out attempting to get to know her if she was so inclined....great seeing a woman who earns her own way in life...knows what she wants and just as importantly knows what she does not want in life...or how she will not settle for something less than what she wants!

Why is it that individuals who have their children or assume primary parenting have a problems when others prefer to avoid the albatross or anvil they potential represent?

As a full time parent I never had a problem when a woman told me upfront she needed someone with more time...someone who did not still have children to raise! Or preferred a guy who had their children every other weekend as that was easier to accommodate than a primary custodial father.

I even had no problem when one suggested as a primary parent still I also had financial restrictions she did not have!

But then she had a career where she earned good money and she had recieved her child support for 10yrs....she never lacked for her lifestyle!
 candyapplepink123
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 122
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 3:38:58 PM
I give credit to single dads I think more then single moms and im a single mom. Some people just see a man with kids and assume you are not a single dad but you are just an ***hole probably who cheats on his wife. Some men look down on me im sure because Im a single mom and they wouldn't have anything to do with me and that's fine to each is own but there are some people who don't care either way so just hang in there...
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 123
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 3:50:32 PM
K when u learn other language as well as I did Englush than judge me. Yes English is not my native language. Until than shut the hell up bc u know nothing about me


I was raised French, and never learned english until I was 8... Keep assuming. After learning the basics of english I strove to become more than simply fluent.
I never judged your english skills, which you have shown to be rudimentry despite how well you think you've learned it. I judged your apathy for using it properly.
I could have picked apart your disregard of simple english rules (than/then). Or is that apathy again?

The point I am making here is that single parents, or at least those single parents with a level of standards for those who might one day be around their children, have things they look for in prospective partners. So, after reading your profile (which I did before making my first post), I would have placed you directly in the "not interested" section of my mind, first and foremost because while you are an educated woman you refrain from exercising that talent... Apathy is not a trait I wish for any woman around my son to possess. Nor do I wish it in any woman involved with me.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 124
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 4:13:39 PM
Learning language at 17 and at 8 really? Still assuming. And for u Info kid or not I would not look at u twice either way
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 125
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 4:30:30 PM
Thus is my desired effect of my profile.
It's stated plainly, right in the second paragraph.
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