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 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 126
Why can't single dads get dates???Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
It's stated plainly, right in the second paragraph


I will admit that was a pretty good paragraph! Even better the Fair warning!

I had on my profile a request that I was looking for a woman who was employed but alas that seemed to offend some woman who spoke about the job market today...or how hard it was to find employment! But raising children or being self sufficient I wonder...who then pays their bills or the bills of their children?

I read about your self admission of being a strict parent. I wonder where for some the line is drawn between strict and excessive! I was for the most part not overly strict as I remembered I never did well with too strict.

Fast forward the 11yrs...one in engineering and one accepted for engineering this September... so perhaps raising children is also finding balance and allowing or enabling the children to also discover their own way? Excessively strict parenting does what for teaching them to think and act on their own....once they are on their own?

But you do have a very though provoking profile...and the mother of my daughters still does not like talking or dealing with me in regards to issues about the children....or in fact will n0t....but then life does have its advantages!

But I still liked as well the Kat lady!
 kara41
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 127
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 6:04:20 PM
Personally, I couldn't care whether a guy has children or not, AS LONG AS he is taking care of them. The only true issue I have with actually dating a guy with kids is that I LOVE children, and in the past, I have had a hard time leaving a guy that was horrible for me, because his daughter was such a wonderful child. I get attached to someone's kids very quickly, which sucks if the dad doesn't turn out to be mr. right.
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 128
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:22:40 PM
I will admit that was a pretty good paragraph! Even better the Fair warning!


Although I know it to be less than geniune, I will take that at face value. Personally, I like the goldfish one better - one of George Carlin's lesser known lines.

And I think you need to look up the word strict, as I do think it means what you think it means... at least not in the context it is used. (Don't post the defination here, if you read my profile, you know about the dictionary. No point derailing this topic further, it's already fairly redundant)
My son is 3, learning his spelling, reading, and sciences, not 11 and finding out where he fits in this world. Your implied accusations are unwarrented. I have my time ahead of me to find the balance.

Right now... he wants to be a doctor. (no joke)
 2smart2settle4less
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 129
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:03:49 PM
I'm a single mother and can't seem to make any sparks out and about with or without my kids. For one I think it's where I live. My type of guy doesnt seem to exist around here or is taken because he is a diamond in the rough. I'm moving soon as can so hope will have better luck elsewhere. I know how hard it is. I get smiled at, but I'm so shy I smile and look away. Maybe the good women are just too shy?
 2smart2settle4less
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 130
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:08:22 PM
"Baggage comes with life, it's baffling that the good baggage...like raising and taking care of kids on our own..like being incredibly responsible...can be such a turn off by so many."

I'm so happy to see that you think this. More people should understand this. Those who consider kids baggage are not people who should have kids or be around your kids. Just plain ignorant. Nice post :) inspiring.
 MrSwartc
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 131
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:56:31 PM
Women are attracted to kids no matter who you are. If Brad Pitt had a little one walking with him they would look at him first then the kid, then would turn away. It is how it goes man! Men and women are generally shy and looking and talking to kids is easy. Kids gets most of the smiles and small talk.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 132
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 11:13:51 PM
I see a lot of women on here at least in my area are not looking for anything serious. So I am thinking they are ok with dating a man who has kids, as long as he is good looking enough. Thats just how most women are here in Texas. Kinda makes me want to move.
 Steven1477
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 133
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:45:05 AM
Here is one for you Jenn.
Coming from a single dad you make quite a few valid points. But I will tell you this.
1) If you are arguing over text or phone with your X, then clearly you are not over them. I have been seperated from my x 3 years now and the moment she starts my phone goes off. The man needs to let the girlfriend know there is nothing there.
2) You don't become the free baby sitter, you allow your self to be utilized in a way you do not want, if you feel like that, then clearly you should say something before it becomes a habit.
This is answers 3, 4, 5) If the father allows the child to run around and allow them to do whatever they like then clearly they are not a responsible person and you are wasting your time.
6) It may seem wrong to say but you are not the mother, you should not be diciplining the kids, unless you are all living together and even then with limitations. He is the parent, he has to put down the law.
7) court dates only come when changes need to be made, or the X is trying to get more money. I haven't seen the courtroom in a year, and remeber it s not going to be forever.
8) If the man is still complaining about the X regardless of what, then they are not over it, or are bitter, or are feeling guilty, words of advice walk away.
9)If he's taking from your child to give to his then what kind of a parent are you to continue in that relationship?
10)Actions speak louder than words, unless you have your children full time, there is no reason for set time for you and he.
11) Again, the man was not over his X, and you were just the rebound.
12) The blame is on both parents, but if there are issues then the children and parent should seek therapy.

I can only say if you are not completely over your X be honest, and if you don't want to be honest cause you feel that no one would want to date you then at least let them know you are no looking for anything serious.
Let that be your starting point.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 134
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:32:45 PM
2smart2settle4less
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 152
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:08:22 PM
"Baggage comes with life, it's baffling that the good baggage...like raising and taking care of kids on our own..like being incredibly responsible...can be such a turn off by so many."

I'm so happy to see that you think this. More people should understand this. Those who consider kids baggage are not people who should have kids or be around your kids. Just plain ignorant. Nice post :) inspiring.
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Only bc I don't want raise someone else's kids? Who the hell are u to tell me what I shouldn't have any. I would more than nothing have two but of my own not someone else's.

And ppl do undestand that u have responsibility with u kids ur kids dement ur time money energy etc. and bc THEY UNDESTAND. Some of us decide that they don't want to be bothered with this. That doesn't make me a bad person. Ur kids it ur issuess and if I would have mine and some guy will say I would so date u if u would t have any I will understand. U made ur chice to have them and I made chice to NOt to date someone with. But that gives I no right to tell me if I shouldn't or shouldn't be around kids. Maybe u should try to work it with ur kids father then? How would u like if someone would throw it in ur face?
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 135
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:03:27 PM
the one for you is for you, no worries
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 136
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:00:55 AM
That's just mu reason why I don't date single parent. Other ppl may have same or different reasons. U dont have to like it or agree ( or bush me bc I didn't put periods n comas in my previous post) those are just preferences ones may have. I was just answering the question. I my opinion someone with good job nice place nice car well taken care of fit n without kids will MSG first before someone else. It just way things go. I know I don't like t either I'm fair forom perfect n far from being in perfect situation I don't get messaged either. It just the way it is
 ReallyBadKarma
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 137
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:06:55 PM
Well I failed your test. I got a 0/12. What do I get for that? If you are a singlr Dad there is a stigma that goes with that. Especially if you go somewhere with them on a weekend. You deal with it. Now on both sides of the fence if you take care of you kids good. You are supposed to. If woman doesn't like that you have kids run. Or else they will be showing up years later at their step mom/dads funeral to make sure they are dead. You want someone to be with you for you.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 138
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:15:39 PM
It's not mine or anyone's test. It's reality everyone here goes for top 5% eveyery single time u have to put zero by any of those I mention u go way done on the to be messaged list. It's just way ppl are n I'm guilt of it as charged n yes still single bc I miss a lot on that list
 aeyriel
Joined: 1/23/2012
Msg: 139
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:16:48 PM
I know it may sound crazy that women would act that way. but look at it this way she is not the right one for u and your kids.so don't let it get to you just smile and tell your self the right one is on her way
 Shadow1204
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 140
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:37:46 PM
I 100% understand were you are coming from.
Been on the site for 2 months now and I have had nothing but women screw me around on this site.
So far I have personally experienced...

1. Talking all good for a few weeks to suddenly getting the "silent treatment"

2. Meeting her and she spends ALL our time together chatting to other guys on POF.
Then putting me as the bad guy because "we are not a couple" so shouldn't expect her to stop looking.

3. I've even had the misfortune of having a 24 year old contact me saying everything I want to hear and then suddenly abusing me a few hours later for being interested in her because she is young enough to be my daughter. (I'm 37, almost 38)
Sorry darl. But I was only 12 when you were born so I"m certainly not old enough to be your dad.

I'm at the stage now where I just plain give up.
The site is just causing me heartache and I just seem to find women that wanna abuse me and treat me like crap.
 Shadow1204
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 141
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:27:23 PM
Ummm, I have never been married.
I thought separated = not with my daughters mother.
Was there really any need to get angry towards me?
 LatinFantacy
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 142
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:22:49 AM
Im a single father of a 7 year ols girl. I have never had an issue with dating. On the contrary, girls see me with my daughter and they are drawn in. I have full custody of my daughter and no baby mama drama. The only issue i have as single father is if my daughter doesn't like my date. She's very protective and often would disagree with my choices. She feels that if my date is too cute that she might leave me since she gets so much attention. i had a date last week where my date brought her daughter along and i brought mine. First time for me but it was cool. One thing you have to keep in mind if you intend on involving your kids in your dating life is that the kids are also part of the experience.
 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 143
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/11/2013 11:41:30 AM

. I mean yes it hurts a bit I have been on here for sometime and the meesages I get are "sorry not looking for anyone with kids"



I didn't have any problems finding dates. Just gotta have a thick skin and roll with it.

I liked it when women were honest with me... no time wasted. I'm surprised they even wrote back a rejection email...
 sciontc100
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 144
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:28:31 PM
I would have to say if I saw a man with his children I would not want to interrupt you with your children. It is very hard to meet and date while you have children. I have actually told a younger man I was not interested in him because he had young children. I felt bad for doing so, but I also think that it would have made things to hard on him and myself. My children are older and I now am in a part of my life where I do not think it would have been fair to either of us. I know that there are alot of men that do the same things thou. My children are all teenagers and it is hard to deal with dating let alone adding other things into the mix.
 hopchuff
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 145
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/17/2013 11:40:02 AM
Don't think it could have been said any better really....

People can and will seem great 'on-paper', but will usually show his/her true colors or turn out the opposite from what you expected.

Two months is nothing to get worried or upset about... Would you really want to rush into something and end up getting hurt in the long run?
 hopchuff
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 146
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/17/2013 11:48:38 AM
Hmmm... I intended to quote part of post# 162 to my original, but it didn't go with it.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 147
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/18/2013 8:24:43 PM
Good Luck but u should rethink things ur not going to meet a woman with NO children that doesnt eventually probably want children unless ur looking at younger women that havent got to the stage of wanting them

I'm 33 yr old woman that still want kids n doesn't have any. But why I the god earth I would want guy who had kids alredy. How Amy kids do u want to support. I think it is very selfish to have kids but expect women not to. Wow
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 148
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:07:25 PM
Hypocrit..
it's ok for you to not want to date a man with kids and to speak out to negatively against doing so.. but not someone else? So what if that other person has kids or not. It's a preference right? And this is what we all vehemently defend our right to have?? I have no preference about kids. I care about who the person I am with is. If he's a good parent, a good person and decent with time management, his kids will be a non-issue.

There are plenty of women who do not want children ever just as there are plenty of men who do not want them. It's not an issue to find someone who has similar life plans/goals/views as you, rather finding that person who you are also actually attracted to and click with.

I wonder why you feel it is ok for you to speak out so negatively against single parents and their views, then get so defensive when something similar is done to you.

My single parent boyfriend and I went away last month for a weekend, we're going away again for a weekend in May and again in June... we spend every weekend together and see each other everyday. We've been together 5 months and I can probably count on my fingers the number of days we did not see each other. My child-free ex? Could only find a day or two a week to see me.. if i was lucky.. and I had the busier schedule.. he just had more excuses. Throws those little rants of yours upside down doesn't it?

The *right* person will make the time for you.. kids or not. Otherwise they aren't the right person..
 coco8091
Joined: 7/29/2012
Msg: 149
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/29/2013 11:40:22 PM
They are not worth your time.I would date a single father in a minute.
 sinylg
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 150
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 3/30/2013 3:29:25 PM
As someone who dates interracially it can bring up issues with the ex's
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