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 Tinkle 2
Joined: 3/26/2010
Msg: 176
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Why can't single dads get dates???Page 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Hi, just read your message and understand a little of what might be going on.

I went out with a man on here, who I got really quite close with, then his child of 14 years old through a tantum about meeting me and gave him a hard time, the relationship soon went pair shaped to my disappointment.

When I looked back, he had stated that his kid/kids were his life, then I realised I would never have really mean't anything to him if he spoke like that, but unfortunately for me he was telling the truth.

I was so loved up I missed that part of our romance and never thought for one moment one child could cause so much pain.

I have 3 grown up children with 4 grandchilren and a 10 year old, I absolutely love them all to bits and they are my world as I have brought them up on my own.

From my experience and age now, I dont mention my children too much until asked, I am not on this site to make my children happy, I am on here to find that missing part of my life, love and what goes with it, I have experienced love before and now know what I want to fulfill the rest of my life. But I do know if I met the right person and we wanted to go further in a relationship, I would have to cut some of the time with the children to be able to fit in a relationship as I work full time.

Then I may experience the difficulties of having a man in my life and the children being jealous, however I would be mature about it and talk it all out so the guy wouldnt feel his is in the way.

You may like to reword your words, like I love my children to bits and would love someone special to share the good and happy times with, or make sure your words and body language give the space to another person to say you will have time for that person after a life with your children, no matter what trump cards the children bring into the relationship. Give that quality time to the person you may meet and not let your children take that away, they will get used to is in the end and respect the fact you do not belong holly to them and you do need your time for you too.

If a women shuns you when walking then she is an ignorant person, maybe shy, may not want others kids, there could be all sorts of reasons, but a lot I would say from knowing women these days is about cost, how much money you earn and wanting to be the only one in your life.

All I can say is keep loving your children, one day they will move away and you may have lost something special on the way because of them, talk in depth and dont bother with the women who dont want kids around them, they will always be selfish immature people.

I do wish you luck and hope this may help a little, look up not down. x
 Estoril126
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 177
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 5/23/2013 7:14:05 PM
I respectfully disagree. How does a man or woman become less of a parent if they no longer are married but still share 50/50 custody? The shared responsibility does not change, only the geography changes. The parental responsibility does not go away.
 Lottiedots1
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 178
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/22/2013 2:12:44 PM
If a man or woman is turned off by your kids and good parenting skills....consider yourself lucky! I'm separated and still in same home for financial reasons only but my soon to be ex and I are good friends so I don't feele I have the baggage of many! For me, a man who isn't interested in my because of my children will be doing me a huge favor!! Great weed out process! I look at it as a positive...:)
 Lottiedots1
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 179
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/22/2013 2:13:36 PM
If a man or woman is turned off by your kids and good parenting skills....consider yourself lucky! I'm separated and still in same home for financial reasons only but my soon to be ex and I are good friends so I don't feele I have the baggage of many! For me, a man who isn't interested in my because of my children will be doing me a huge favor!! Great weed out process! I look at it as a positive...:)
 furbysarefun
Joined: 11/19/2012
Msg: 180
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/22/2013 6:19:11 PM
They can. I would love to date a single dad.
 SwtCake
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 181
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/28/2013 1:18:32 PM
It these times it is hard to tell if men/women are married or not half of them do not wear rings anymore? Maybe their first thought that ahh he is nice he smiled, and then he has kids probably married...

I don't think it is because you have kids, most women over the age of 25 (nowadays have kids too) ; )
 KelMar5726
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 182
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/30/2013 10:25:45 AM
I share custody and my son is with me mostly weekends. It is in my profile. I am an older dad with an 11 year old. I met someone here and started a relationship. She tells me one of the things that attracted me to her was the fact I was devoted to my son. It was a juggling act balancing time with her and time with my son and work and life, but it was worth the effort. Then after about 6 weeks she calls and breaks it off saying she did not want to play second fiddle to an 11 year old!
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 183
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 6/30/2013 12:17:13 PM

She tells me one of the things that attracted me to her was the fact I was devoted to my son. It was a juggling act balancing time with her and time with my son and work and life, but it was worth the effort. Then after about 6 weeks she calls and breaks it off saying she did not want to play second fiddle to an 11 year old!


She thought you a boring cheap skate. Does that sound better?

After 6 weeks....where things I would suggest you have not even gotten going....things are finished...better to learn now than investing time and effort for a few years?

Son with you weekends....perhaps her children were not with her weekends....one finds situations that are compatible and are enticing....

So what is wrong when someone realizes they do not want to be a second fiddle or second in consideration?
 rasec76
Joined: 10/3/2011
Msg: 184
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 7/2/2013 10:48:35 AM
Rubyroo36 exactly i have dated many females and most love children , some dont have any and dont want to make any, and are ok with you having your own becoause at the end of the day they have no ties to you .

very few dont like kids and will never date a man with kids they love the freedom to come and go as they please so men with kids makes them run for the hills.


and then you have the ones whom want kids of their own but will not date someone with kids becaouse of the insecurity of having to share the father of their children to other children.

My kids arre small threfore i have focused on my career and being very involved in the sports they play, i do date from time to time as we all need adult fun. Let me say i am having alot of fun havung the best of both worlds.
 fedupofusers
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 185
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 7/3/2013 4:41:16 AM
im single mum of 4 , i been through so much in past so stayed single for ages now but i want date single dad ,men without kids arnt for me makes me wunder why they want know someone with kids , but finding single dad who lives nearish me is hard the ones i do know theres just no spark there,n all i get on my messages on here is ppl who just after one nighters or i think are to good for me lol
 fedupofusers
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 186
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 7/3/2013 4:42:46 AM
u am right there in my past i went with badboys ive had it bad so now after long time single i think its time find a nice single dad really cant be doing the badboys anymore
 yerkiddinrite
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 187
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 7/8/2013 12:36:44 PM
I raised my daughter by myself since she was 9, she is now 18, graduated high school and off to college. I am finally in a position to have some freedom in my life. Maybe persue some long forgotten hobbies, etc. that I gave up while I was working two jobs raising her. I don't want to be with a man who has young children, not at all. That doesn't make me an ogre, just someone who has done a good job raising my child with no interest in doing it again.
 dkbmom
Joined: 7/2/2013
Msg: 188
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 7/9/2013 8:25:48 AM
I like dating single dads, especially with teenage/grown children because then I know the topic of whether or not he wants kids isn't likely to be an issue since I don't want anymore.

When I see a man out with kids and he smiles or says hello, I generally assume 1) he's married 2) he's just being friendly. Maybe I should stop assuming! :)
 freelove35
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 189
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 8/6/2013 9:09:09 PM
I seem to have the same problem.....yet with a slight twist.

I am 42 yrs old, and a single dad to a 7 yr old little girl, who lives with me 24/7.

Now here's the twist.....I have never been married, and I adopted my daughter at birth as a single male (i.e. I am not biologically related in anyway).

I seem to encounter 2 separate problems:
#1 Women my age (late 30'2 to early 40's) either don't want children at this stage of their life (or someone elses) or
have teenage or grown up children and don't want to experience the "early years" again.
Sooooo.......I try to make contact with ladies in their early 30's and IF I CAN GET A RESPONSE, really look to
see what we have in common and her "maturity" level (i.e. past the bar and late night partying stage,
responsibilities, etc).

#2 It seems to "freak" most women out that a) I would choose to adopt a child as a single parent and b) what
agency in their right mind would allow a female infant/child to be adopted by a single male?
Like it or not, you'd be amazed at how many people are amazed (and even disgusted) that a single male is able to
adopt a "poor and defenseless" little girl......and some of these people are "professionals" and "well-educated".

I don't mean to sound bitter......because I'm really not. If this is what life has instore for my daughter and I, than so be it. We are happy and have each other, and yes it would be great for me to have a lady to share the rest of my life with and my daughter a female figure as she gets older.....but is it essential........DEFINITELY NOT.
 E9XM3
Joined: 8/8/2015
Msg: 190
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 8/19/2015 6:23:46 PM
Same problem here, people keep comparing it single mothers but it's completely different. Single mothers are the norm it's much harder for a single father to find a date.

I think women need to be first more than a man does, I don't think a man cares what priority he is as long as he's getting what he needs he couldn't care less. Women will try and compete with your kids for attention in my experience.
 sacredrain
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 191
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 8/20/2015 7:13:36 AM

Women will try and compete with your kids for attention in my experience.


Only the really insecure women will do this in my experience. It's a function of age/maturity as well.
 applekey
Joined: 2/12/2014
Msg: 192
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 3:41:30 AM
I feel your pain brother. Try being 53 years old and having kids who are 9 & 11. For obvious reasons I try to date in my own age range however, most women my age have grandkids my children’s age, and usually their response is, “Been there, done that”. And if you try to meet younger ladies who may have children in common, you’re usually viewed as someone who just wants “arm candy”. In my case, that is not true. Just looking for someone that would accept that I have children as a part of my life. It’s probably a no win situation. Woman say they respect a man who stands up and takes responsibility for his children, but then rejects the idea of dating a man with children. The reality is that cheap online dating site is probably not the place to find a good woman. What’s a man to do, huh?
 BizzaroLand
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 193
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 10:56:34 AM
There seems to be more and more prostitutes and women just "having fun" on here.
I've heard most of the females on here are actually bored lonely housewives who just are tired of being with the same man and just want to venture out. You might run across several really nice profiles, but 8/10 are just that, lonely girls who just wanna have fun.
They tend to not respond to the guys who actually have a good profile and seem to want something real.
These POF girls stay clear of us good guys. They might look at our profile, but only to find we seem like decent men, then just pass us by.
Online dating is Very Hard for a single dad who's trying to find a decent woman.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 194
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 11:11:29 AM
Msg 229, applekey:
I think your profile is as much of a hindrance to finding someone as the other problems you claim. The majority of your pictures are with other people-whether it's kids or family members. Your profile should be about you and you only. Ditch the family pictures-strangers you never met don't give a damn about your family members at the moment. Show pictures of you only. The only thing you should have about your kids is how many and their ages. That is all that's needed for someone to decide if it;s a deal breaker or not.

The way your profile is currently, it makes it look like you are only looking for a replacement mother for your kids-a nanny. It's no wonder women are saying "Been there, done that" and pass you by. If you want a nanny, hire one.
 BizzaroLand
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 195
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 11:44:07 AM
Good point. Well said.
But, I still feel that there are more "just wanna have fun" types than "looking for a good man/woman" types on here.
I don't take rejection, or non responses, to heart. I'm just saying all this from my own experience on here.

It's sad that people think just because they have a profile leaning towards wanting a relationship, and has no problem expressing that, that they're ready to jump on the first willing person and dive head first into a committed relationship.
I would love a relationship with the right person, so why not say that. Why do women take that as "desperate"?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 196
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 1:20:51 PM

Women with many options are going to pick a guy that has NO kids.


Apparently there are few women with many options.

No line at my door.

Or an overflowing inbox.


Many women don't want all the drama that comes with a guy with kids.


And apparently many women don't want the NON-drama that comes with a guy with NO kids.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 197
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 1:33:55 PM
TO: Applekey

You have four sisters. They are your best bet to be personally introduced to one of their friends at a party.
Men and women in their 40s and 50s alike, who have very young children, face an uphill struggle with dating.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 198
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/16/2016 9:09:09 PM

i just began seeing a man who has a 10 yr old daughter and he just turned 60.


I don't know. My fiance has a 7 and a 13 year-old boys. It's quite an adventure. It makes me feel young, even with all the stress associated with it.

The interesting thing is that where I live you see a lot of older dudes that have younger kids. We dote on them, we appreciate every second with them. So it's a matter of perspective.
 swampyswampy
Joined: 12/13/2015
Msg: 199
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/21/2016 6:25:36 AM
deteleddaernu thats pretty much my story . When i was going through contact courts women would ask why doesnt she let you see your daughter what did you do wrong? When i got custody i was asked where is her mother, why dont i let her see her, why have i moved to wales..... Nobody knows my personal circumstances because i never told anyone they just assumed. When i tried to join 2 lone parent groups i was knocked back because the organizers said many of the mothers had suffered sexual, domestic and emotional abuse and having a guy in the group would effect the harmony.... How many times do you read on profession for women stay at home mother? That is acceptable yet when i was working part time has a cleaner i was asked why dont i get myself a better job? My daughter is old enough to look after herself.... It just shows how feminism has destroyed women and society. How many times do we read in the media mother murders children? How many times do you hear a mother say i wish my kids was at school? I cant wait till they old enough to leave home? Children are sen has a burden to modern feminists in fact so are guys unless we have something to offer women they arent interested cus they have little to offer us.....
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 200
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Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/22/2016 4:22:26 PM

applekey:
"What’s a man to do, huh?"
Either you are now advertising you are no longer seeking dates--congratulations and best wishes to you--or IMHO your presentation would serve you better after some tweaking . If the latter, I suggest an immediate trip to POF profile review forum .
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