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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
37 single and no clue how to date anymorePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

i’m not looking for anything serious right now,


Whether you are or are not looking for anything serious, when you say that you are not looking for something serious, women in these sites simply assume that you just want to hook up and have sex.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 16
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 6:38:43 PM
I'm not going to write while story that I'm in sme shoes. Number one if u out nothing serious I wouldn't even read or look at ur pics pass that point. Two Unfortunally ppl on here go after top five precent. So that group gets to pick and choose. So no unless u look like ripped supermodel or barie doll forget It
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 17
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/1/2013 6:09:48 PM
Forget it and take up motorcycling ,way more fun and way less hassles:D
 tonya_2012
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 18
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:39:20 AM
Hey i read your profile and i didn't see anything wrong with your profile. I am having the same issue though i am 37 and don't know how to date either cause i have been in a relationship for 13 years and right now i just want to find a good friend and see what happens. I hope this helped ya and if you need anything please feel free to contact me on here
thanks
 zxcvbnmm
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 19
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:57:59 AM
DRINK TEQUILA, FOOL!
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 20
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:30:08 AM
I''m 38 and in the same boat,I suppose if its ment to be it will be.I would suggest to volunteer ,have abunch of hobbies and just have fun to keep yourself busy.I dont hold too much breath or faith in POF or any of these online dating sites anymore.
 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 21
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:32:37 AM
Online you simply messages women and when one returns them, you give her your phone number and arrange a meet/greet or do so in the message. Easy-peasy. You simply find out what your mutually like to do and do them together. Do a meet/greet first and if that goes well, ask her out to supper and pick a quiet restaurant she or you favors.

Go on a few dates and see if they're chemistry sparking between the two of you; if so, be yourself, be calm, cool and collected; letting your great personality shine through.

Don't text or call too often; I personally can't stand that. Just speak on the phone to arrange another date seems to work well; at least it does for me.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 22
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 3:44:55 PM
I applaud your being honest about what you are looking for and not saying what will give you responses that you change after interaction starts.

When I first started dating after my marriage ended; I was looking for friends only and would literally only talk to people who were cool with that; it got me into the dating pool, comfortable being around guys where I didn't feel like I was cheating after almost 22 years with one person; and they knew I was not up for romantic; I was literally only looking for platonic friends. Some said that was cool but tried to change my mind; but both respected it; and it made it much easier to ease into the being avaiable to date for real.

If you say you are looking for friends and easing back into dating; there are women who are in the same boat I know; they will find you and they will be in exactly the same place and will be glad of your honesty.

It is refreshing to see; just say what you like to do; have good pics and reach out to others for their own sake; you will have no problem finding someone on the same page as you. I know a ton of them.

Best of luck to you :)
 Braediiliez
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 23
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:37:52 PM
I agree motorcycles are a hell of alot of fun, and bonus is you meet alot of interesting people.
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 24
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/10/2013 4:50:44 PM
I think the only problem w that is most women dont ride or give two squats over a motorcycle
 Pisces22469
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 25
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/16/2013 1:31:28 PM
Unfortunately, on POF there women outnumber the men 5:1. If you aren't in the top 10 in looks on your pictures you aren't going to get many replies.
I feel its important not to send out canned messages to the women. If they are getting several messages each day, it makes it easy for them to discard yours unless you are one of those in the top 10% in looks.
I probably send out 1 initial message a month. I keep busy with my hobbies & spending time with friends. If i get a reply, that's great. Maybe there will be enough there to carry it forward to speaking on the phone & meeting. If not, I'm still enjoying life outside of POF.
Best of luck to all.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 26
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/16/2013 6:24:28 PM
^^^^ EXACTLY!

I send maybe one message a month, if even that. Rarely if at all do I get a reply but I don't sweat it. I have a great life outside of this site.
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 27
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:54:06 AM
Hugh Heffner is twice your age and probably does not know anything about dating anyone.

Just go out there and (1) be considerate and (2) be yourself. The right woman for you may not be into you if you act inconsiderate or are acting like someone who is not you. The right woman for you should overlook any technical violations you may make of some dating rule book that no man seems to be able to get a copy of.
 zuythemanfrog
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 28
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:25:14 PM

Here's what you do:
1. Hire a creative writer for your profile so you can enhance, not lie about yourself
2. Professional photographer for amazing pics highlighting your best angles
3. Ask manager at local Starbucks if you can call ahead and reserve a table or better yet, a comfy couch!
4. Message as many women as you can. This can be done by having your creative writer come up with a copy and paste message that allows you to fill in pertinent details taken from the woman's profile with minimal effort.
5. Respond to messages in a fun and charming manner and suggest meeting at Starbucks.
6. Schedule yes responses. Don't forget to call ahead to reserve your couch. Oh, become a gold card member, each coffee purchase earns points for free drinks. That way you can be the gallant gentleman and buy her drink without breaking your wallet!
7. Most important.....if you cannot memorize your your interview questions....put them on your phone so you can run to the bathroom and refresh your memory. Also, put in your phone random, interesting tidbits of information. These can be used for awkward moments of silence or conversation direction changers!
8. You're on your own from here! Good Luck!


@KJ521- I appreciate you're trying to be helpful, but there's problems with that list. I've seen women hating on men who do #1, 2 and 4 as they assert that you're not really showing them who you are. Women especially hate the cut and paste message you suggest in #4! They want a personalized message that boarders on Shakesperian in quality. It's just that no man has the mental and emotional energy to put into a personalized response to each and every woman they contact.

#3? Seriously? Since when do they take reservations at Starbucks? It's first come, first serve.

#5- I've seen women post on their profiles that if you want a Starbucks coffee date, then don't even contact them. They want more thought and adventure in the meeting. They seem to forget that it's not actually a date, it's a first meet. There's a big difference between the two.

#8- That's a given.
 zuythemanfrog
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 29
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:30:18 PM

Hugh Heffner is twice your age and probably does not know anything about dating anyone.


That's because Hugh Heffner is rich and famous and hasn't had to put any effort into meeting women for decades because he doesn't have to. Beautiful yet mentally vacant women flock to him to boost their careers. The average guy on the street doesn't have that benefit.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 30
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/18/2013 4:41:44 AM
Zuythemanfrog:

Helpful??? It is called subtle sarcasm.....based on info gathered on here!! Lol

Guess you didn't read the disclaimer at bottom of post......the part where I say I am clueless also, and to disregard aforementioned advice???
 Egregore216
Joined: 1/24/2013
Msg: 31
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/18/2013 7:31:16 PM
I'm no expert either, but I would add: Don't expect things here on the first message. If a woman seems aloof the first message or does the flakey thing when you first agree to go out, favourite her and send her another casual non-pushy message every couple of weeks to let her know your genuinely interested. Ladies, am I off the wall? Or does that sound right?
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 32
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:40:36 PM
If u profiles says not looking for anything serious I wouldn't read more past that. If u would sand me MSG I would ignored it since ur profiles says not looking for anything serious. But just me. It gives impression u looking to hook up
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 33
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:43:47 PM
After talking to some one on line, on phone, on text, ...etc. We meet finally and I have to buy my own coffee or what ever we are doing...sometimes his... and he or I, usually talk us out of fooling around...If we even get that far. So far in the past 2 weeks I've had a handful of guys ask me to play 'sex/cam girl' for them [um,..NO.], one guy tried to sell me drugs, and another guy tried to get me to baby sit... [rolls eyes]

Omg. But belive me if u can afford to buy me coffee I. Tim hortons we would not make to conversation. But I still have problem even getting that far lol
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 34
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:45:07 PM
Sex stuff all the time. It would take me quicker to mention all the guys who didn't expect that. I really don't know what is wrong with man this days
 hargoth
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 35
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/14/2013 10:21:08 PM
Try not to stress about it. the average first message a woman gets to a man is something like 20/1 or more. Be honest with who you are, what your are looking for, and then simply try and open a dialog with anybody you find interesting. I know its exhausting to read profile after profile and try to put together a response thats a few steps up the evolutionary latter then "you cute me like". Frankly I've found I do better in group or social situations and in person. Best of luck and hang in there.

Keith
 ThatsoJay
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 36
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:31:16 AM
How about stop looking altogether?

I'm serious, just enjoy your life and if anything happens, wonderful. Too many people put too much weight on dating and finding someone.
 country-girl90201
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 37
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:10:10 PM
I dont think your profile is the problem...hope you find what you are looking for
 discovery-me
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 38
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:52:46 AM
There is no rule to dating. The problem is that society expects so much where there is no need to. Go through the profiles. Email the ones you are interested in their profile ( That doesn't guarantee response as I never get much response from people I emailed and I am Female!) But make an effort. Start by using the chat tool here if the other party is available to use it. The actual date most times is easier if you already built up a rapport. Be ready for shockers. People who say they are 28 while they are 48. Pictures that are 10 years old will not match reality. Be yourself. As in enjoy each date however it pans out. Your ultimate goal is to find the right person for you so if one date is a bummer the next one may be the clincher. Raise your risk appetite a bit and have an open mind. I hope it all goes well for you.
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