Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Putting out too soon????      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 26
Putting out too soon????Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Sex too soon never ruins it...if the guy is really into you.
If anything....it is a good thing.

However a lot of women have sex with guys
who are not really into em.
(and often wonder afterward what they did wrong.)

If you don't know.....how he feels....
don't go there.
and save yourself needless self doubting.
 ArgentSword
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 27
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:52:30 PM
Depends on the situation. I still advocate waiting....
 dartmouthjames
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 28
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:47:09 PM

I would like to know if you can ever really respect a woman that puts out right away?

Of course, how quickly a woman bangs me and my respect level for her are completely unrelated.

Will you think she is easy and lose interest

No. I think this is a myth that is continuously perpetrated by the media and other jealous women.

or can she still be"girlfriend material"?
Yes she can be, and probably more likely will be because if she puts out right away then she probably doesn't play games as much as some girl who "isn't like that" or some other game playing nonsense.
 Bostonbrat78
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 29
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:22:05 PM
You have all been very helpful, I thought I was just looking for a man's perspective but the badass women on here have been very helpful as well . Thanks to all that responded and happy fishing to all of you :) ... (I'm gonna go get laid now hehe)
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 30
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 2:19:53 AM
ENJOY without guilt or shame!

Just be safe and choose wisely!
 59thShadeofGrey
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 31
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:26:12 AM
What is this 'women putting out' crap? This concept implies that a womans sexuality is somehow a great gift that is bestowed on us booger-encrusted men....

Human sexuality is a shared experience. You have something I might enjoy - just as I have something you might enjoy. This archaic,chauvinistic game of sexual politics that makes women some kind of prize simply teaches women that their sex can be used as currency. That sounds a lot like prostitution to me.....

Adult men and women should have sex when there is mutual consent to share that experience, not when some arbitrary '3 date rule' or other such nonsense is calculated.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 32
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 7:26:55 AM
What is this 'women putting out' crap? This concept implies that a womans sexuality is somehow a great gift that is bestowed on us booger-encrusted men....



I don't see that as the issue so much as the thinking that "putting out" is meant to place guilt on a woman,and since "we" are held to a higher sexual morality and standard,we are damned if we do and damned if we don't have sex when WE want to.
But....I could be wrong.

I found this:

The sexual connotation of the phrase "to put out" is a late twentieth century American adaptation of expression referring to the putting out of fresh baked PIE to cool on window sills. That a slang term refers to female genitalia as "Hair-PIE", may have been a factor in the coining of the term.

It sounds to me like a woman who gives away something she values for nothing or 'too soon' as the saying goes.


This archaic,chauvinistic game of sexual politics that makes women some kind of prize simply teaches women that their sex can be used as currency.


So can we then agree that we can thank some males who helped created this dynamic by judging a women's worth by how "soon" they have sex based on some antiquated morality and double standards and women have been forced to see themselves as commodities that lack worth if they engage "too soon" thereby leaving them with a choice of being "good or bad" and women have perpetuated it with thier reaction to said thinking by withholding for a period of socially acceptable time before they "allow" a man "in" without feeling judged or at risk of coming off as "slutty"?

Thank you men with Madonna/Whore complexes for instilling this idealize,devalue and discard mentality into the mix in regards to women in general,but worse,women's sexuality in general.

It's a 'shame game' that little boys play.Not men.(and little girls and not women)

Women really are sometimes worse in terms of how we judge eachother's sexual choices!

Read the book, SLUT!Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation byLeora Tanenbaum
And see how much society damages females self esteem and self worth and thier sexuality by name calling!

Men are smart enough to know they are no better or worse for "putting out too soon" and have no leg's to stand on when it comes to judging women.

Oh...and I respect myself enough not to play games with my own sexuality.
 chicadecita69
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 33
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 7:54:12 AM
I think it really depends on the situation. If the girl has half a brain in her head and knows thats all the guy is after, she will be smart...or, if she is actually looking to get some, then more power to her! I have met guys and knew right away I wanted to give up the cookies, other guys not so much and they had to work for it. I think there is nothing wrong with a healthy, sexual woman that loves****and getting laid...just like a guy that sleeps with 150 women is a stud, maybe we should adopt a new term for the female version...Studette??? lol
 59thShadeofGrey
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 34
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 8:16:16 AM

So can we then agree that we can thank some males who helped created this dynamic by judging a women's worth


Absolutely. In fact, we can thank MOST males and females for the patristic image of the ideal female we see today. We have conned women into ruining and torturing their feet in high heels because 'it makes them look sexy'. The same for smearing greasy shit on their faces. We've made women into cartoon characters, and women have accepted it.

Is it any wonder that most men do not respect women as equals?
 KToned53
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 35
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 12:09:17 PM
Yes i always respect a women that would do that. Why?? Because i want to know if it will be GREAT sex. What i mean is. If there is a strong sexual and physically attraction. I want to know sooner than later it the sex will be great. If its that good then both will try like hell to work everything else out.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 36
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 12:23:21 PM

We've made women into cartoon characters, and women have accepted it.
Is it any wonder that most men do not respect women as equals?


Porn stars,hookers and strippers come to mind.
All women doing what they can to conform to men's ideals of women.
But at the same time,taking them for as much money as they can get.

Win /Win?

I say we start at binding men's feet as payback.


Yes i always respect a women that would do that. Why?? Because i want to know if it will be GREAT sex. What i mean is. If there is a strong sexual and physically attraction. I want to know sooner than later it the sex will be great. If its that good then both will try like hell to work everything else out.


Sex is the icing on a relationship cake.....I always lick the icing first to see if it's 'whipped' or 'sugar'.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 1:53:01 PM
Depends on the situation. I still advocate waiting....

And wait for what? People who like putting things off, and if they do so with most everything long enough will just end up being LOSERS! You know that expression "you snooze you lose"? Waiting however sometimes necessary and unavoidable is often just stupid! If any woman tells me I must wait to have sex with her just because she thinks it's the right thing to do, I'll tell her she can just find someone else who's foolish enough to put her on a pedestal that way.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 38
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 2:25:34 PM
Now while I will not judge anyone for when they decide to have sex, I am not always sure after the first date if I want to have sex with the guy. I am not saying that I need to know that we are committed, work on a psych ward for long enough, no more committed for me :). But I don't really find that the 2-4 hours of the first date is enough time to figure out if I want to sleep with the guy. The times that I have had sex on a first date, I spent over 12 hours with the guy before making the decision.

But, that being said, I won't rule out sex on the first date. Sex will happen when it happens and it certainly won't be months in the future.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 39
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 2:38:24 PM

Putting out too soon is criminal in a game of golf.


Hehehe. Best answer so far.
 dartmouthjames
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 40
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 4:55:18 PM

Would you marry an ugly, smelly woman if the sex was GREAT!
Would you marry a stupid woman if the sex was great..?
Would you marry a cheating woman if the sex was great?
Would you marry a drug addicted woman if the sex was great?

What a stupid thing to say.
 jennielynne
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 8:53:31 PM
I think a 90 day policy is good. I mean when you hire into a job dont you have a 90 day trial period before you get all the benefits?
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 42
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:10:54 PM

I think a 90 day policy is good. I mean when you hire into a job dont you have a 90 day trial period before you get all the benefits?


That's a helluva way to approach dating, lolz. You have an opening, you"hire" a guy to fill your vacancy, and his first 90 days are, like, probation?

Kinda reminds me of that adage about measuring your life by the moments that take your breath away, not the number of years you're on earth.

Days, weeks, months, number of dates are all artificial measures, imo. It's about connections, how two humans fit, how they spark. With some, it seems easy, natural, even foretold; with others, it moves more slowly; and then there are those that, if they were the last other-gendered human on earth, you still wouldn't do 'em.

Actually, they way you meet probly is more determinative of the timeline to intimacy. A cyber date vs. a former high school classmate, or someone whose family has lived on your block for the last several decades. When people meet online, they start from absolute scratch, ground zero. Yeah, the connects take longer, usually, to click into place.

But if your calendar is what tells you when it's time to copulate, then we live in different worlds, whole different dimensions.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 43
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:34:14 PM

I think a 90 day policy is good. I mean when you hire into a job dont you have a 90 day trial period before you get all the benefits?

I think a 7-day policy is good. Isn’t that what we get for returning unsatisfactory goods (grin)?

But seriously, we’re individual humans here, not employees or goods or locks or keys or whatever rationale it takes to support ‘policy’. Why not each person just live by their own lights?
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 44
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/29/2013 11:31:19 PM

…I just think that the shallow, chauvinist attitude of most men these days is atrocious.

Sorry, what does chauvinism mean again? Oh yeah, ‘an attitude of superiority’. OK, carry on.
 awesomecatch2
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 45
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 2:00:18 AM
Stray Cat,
No matter the post, I always enjoy reading your responses because your truly the most
level headed!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 46
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 3:40:28 AM

It's impossible to KNOW if a guy is really into you unless you take the time and value actions more than words. Someone can say all the right things, but never follow through.


Same can be said about waiting to have sex.People don't show thier true colors until far into even committed relationships. There are no guarentee's when it comes to people and thier intentions.Being sexual with someone is always an emotional risk no matter how long you wait.Ask all the married women who have been cheated on and betrayed.


It's better to be alone than to be treated badly! Don't give away such a wonderful thing to someone that doesn't, and probably won't ever, appreciate you and value you. If all women stood up for themselves, all men would HAVE to change their disgusting ways. Come on ladies, start the revolution! :)


We did start one.We don't see our vagina's as our only valueable asset and don't play games like women used to by withholding it until marriage as though it's the end all be all of our existence like we once did.

Unless you are suggesting we go back to the days when a ring on our finger and marriage was the ONLY way a man could get laid,I suggest you reconsider the best way for women to weed out men who only want us for sex.

I figure,that's a given.So what it comes down to is MY CHOICE as to who and when they get in.

MY CHOICE is the revolution.
 59thShadeofGrey
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 47
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:20:55 AM

Porn stars,hookers and strippers come to mind.[\quote]

As do soccer moms, doctors, account reps, insurance agents, cashiers....
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 48
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 10:04:36 AM
Respect is a two way street OP. You and your partner need to show respect for each other. I don't see why he wouldn't respect you if you had sex on the first date. If he finds out you have sex with all the guys then he'll disrespect you.
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 49
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 10:10:54 AM


No matter the post, I always enjoy reading your responses because your truly the most
level headed!


awesomecatch2: You don't understand contractions. "You are" becomes "you're", not "your". It is incorrect to use the word "your" in the above comment. "Your" means belonging to "you."

The ironclad rule - no exceptions - is that if you're able to replace the word with "you are," you're saying you're. Otherwise, your only choice is your.

http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/youryoure.html

You do realize that when you make such a silly mistake, your entire statement is discounted as irrelevant. People will refuse to take notice of or acknowledge what you say. You will be labeled. They will intentionally disregard your entire comment. They might make note of your screen name and think it is inappropriate.

Please do not get mad, but instead take the time to review the above link and understand how to use these words properly. Trust me, people will give you more respect if you can write a cogent sentence. You want more respect don't you?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 10:59:16 AM
^^^ bofast

You do realize that when you make such a silly rant, your entire statement is discounted as the ramblings of a crazy cat person with absolutely no sex life. You will be labeled. They will intentionally disregard your entire comment.

Please do not get mad, but instead taking a fuggin chill pill. Trust me, people will give you more respect if you can learn to mellow out on the grammar nazi attitude. You want more respect don't you?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Putting out too soon????