Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Putting out too soon????      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 paulscooter
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I couldn't have said it any better, great reply.
Paul
 acads
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 52
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/30/2013 11:18:57 AM
The only issue with "Putting out to soon" other than getting a one stroke penalty is that it can impact the relationship, good or bad, each situation is going to be different, but it will have substantial impact, if both participants are willing to take the risks, possible benefits, or negatives that result, it's nobody elses business but themselves.

The issue sounds like that of a 16 year old that isn't mature, experienced, etc. enough to make a decision for themselves and anyone in that position shouldn't as they say "Put out to soon", because as we all know love and golf are games of rules.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 53
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/31/2013 1:51:18 PM
well if i was on a date with a woman ..and she had sex by herself ..I probably wouldn't think too highly of her .. but if I had sex with her then any judgment I laid on her would have to apply to me also .. so I would just think that she was lonely and need of some affection /sex and like me she gave in to her needs .or maybe that she liked me and I charmed the pants off her .. and if I think that is the case I will be honored that she liked me enough to share herself with me
 Teddy, Bear
Joined: 10/24/2009
Msg: 54
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/31/2013 3:02:58 PM
had any luck with that policy, lately.
I find that when I turn a woman down, they shy away pretty damn quick.
 talkwithme
Joined: 3/11/2012
Msg: 55
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/31/2013 10:55:44 PM
I made this mistake one time, and one time only. I met up with this girl for a late night breakfast.... wasn't even dinner. I didn't even wanna go really. Neither one of us had the intention of a one night stand. I know because this was a good girl. Till this day I don't know how, but some how within 30 minutes we were in bed with each other. It was the best thing I ever imagined. So was she. I never knew someone could be that perfect in, and out of bed, ( never even in my dreams) I wanted to give her a high five during it, and the whole time she said she felt the same way; but because it happened so fast, the next day she became embarrassed, and ashamed, and I never saw her again, and she fell off the face of the earth. Sleeping with her that soon was one of the worst mistakes Iv'e ever made in my life.
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/1/2013 2:36:55 AM
@talk; Did you communicate all that with her, during the night or the day after?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 57
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/2/2013 8:12:42 AM

(jennielynne) I think a 90 day policy is good. I mean when you hire into a job dont you have a 90 day trial period before you get all the benefits?


Does that mean that after 90 days, a woman will have sex with you, while simultaneously giving you full dental and medical coverage? There's more at stake here than I thought...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/2/2013 10:39:46 AM
If a guy judges me after we have slept TOGETHER then he is a hypocrite and I couldnt care less about him.
 sweetkae80
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 59
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/2/2013 12:08:20 PM
If a man has the right to judge me on how "soon I put out" he's also got the right to keep his d*ck in his pants!


AGREED
 VOYAGER1954
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 60
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/2/2013 1:20:40 PM
Oh put out to soon I thought it said pull out too soon My bad
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/2/2013 3:58:18 PM
@msg 76

As if ANYBODY can know a hypocrite well enough. What do you advocate? Asking him ' oh what do you think about women who put out too soon?'

Yeah right!!!
 anothery
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 62
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:00:26 PM
I lose respect/interest in a lady who doesn't go with the flow.
If she plays 'next time' games or has rules 'never on the first date' etc etc she is not being honest with herself or her partner.
Sex is a beautiful thing to be shared not given/taken so if you both feel ready to 'share'...go for it!
If he loses respect/drops you...he wasn't right for you and it's his loss as he's after ego boosts not a true connection.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 63
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:29:22 PM
Definitely not g/f material. Sounds like she's an idiot.
 LadyRose1966
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 64
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 2:16:34 PM
I lose respect/interest in a lady who doesn't go with the flow.
If she plays 'next time' games or has rules 'never on the first date' etc etc she is not being honest with herself or her partner.
Sex is a beautiful thing to be shared not given/taken so if you both feel ready to 'share'...go for it!
If he loses respect/drops you...he wasn't right for you and it's his loss as he's after ego boosts not a true connection.


Comment meant for above post (accidental copy & paste of wrong one - sorry for the repeat post)

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!

Very well said :) The way I see it is. . . . .we all have choices to make. I made mine, you made yours, and it is very apparent that neither one is more of a 'bad' person than the other - AT THAT MOMENT.

Don't go judging - I have a mirror for you to look into if there is still any confusion as to whether YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYONE. After all, we were both there :)

#Imnotthatinnocentandneitherareyou
 TheFuryan
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 65
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 2:29:50 PM

Ok, I guess I am looking for feedback from the fellas on this one. I would like to know if you can ever really respect a woman that puts out right away? Will you think she is easy and lose interest or can she still be"girlfriend material"?



A woman who puts out too early causes me to ask the question, how many other guys has she slept with this early? Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a stud and I'm irresistible but I'm not naive enough to believe that she has "never done anything like this before". I can still respect her though. After putting out too early, I'm not looking for anything long-term after that point.

Disclaimer: Lets not stroke our egos too big guys, if she put out early with you, she has probably put out early with other men as well.
 TallAndDark68123
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:04:24 PM
If you think she put out to early then you need to look at the man 'ho in the mirror and judge him first!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 67
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:26:00 PM

87: After putting out too early, I'm not looking for anything long-term after that point.

After who puts out too early – you or her?


Disclaimer: Lets not stroke our egos too big guys, if she put out early with you, she has probably put out early with other men as well.

How about if makes you wait for a month? Do you get to stroke your ego then?
 40Golfer
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 68
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:34:00 PM
I am going to say life is short have fun and yes I would and have had long term relationships with women that I have slept with on the first meeting.
 TheFuryan
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 69
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 4:09:36 PM

If you think she put out to early then you need to look at the man 'ho in the mirror and judge him
first!


You are under the assumption that I'm a hypocrite or that I have a double standard. You are in fact judging me and you are wrong. The same applies to me. It takes two and I'm part of that two. When the foundation of a relationship is built on sex (the physical), it lacks substance and becomes difficult to sustain long-term. I'm a realist and am fully aware of this. Sure a relationship built on just sex works fine for most men, but not women. Women are wired to seek love through the back door of sex, while men are wired to seek sex through the back door of love. You should check out the book The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. It deals with how sexual choice shaped the evolution of human nature.
 sunflower208
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:24:12 PM
there are lots of man or woman here just looking for sex only, if you want to call them friend?? if they are alike to each other why not? trash friend will find trash friend.
I am from the old school and taught my kids the same morals, have to get to know the person well or both have good intentions to build the relationships and features together then start with necking.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 71
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:45:33 PM
Women are wired to seek love through the back door of sex, while men are wired to seek sex through the back door of love. You should check out the book The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. It deals with how sexual choice shaped the evolution of human nature.

How the human mind evolved over the millenia is one thing. How men think in the 21st c. is quite another.

Men fall in love faster than women. Men are more dependent on their girlfriends for intimacy. Men are more likely to kill themselves when a relationship is over. Men are more likely to remarry after a spouse has died or deserted them.

Men seek love. No back doors necessary. The media (and this forum) loves trafficking in silly, offensive stereotypes about male sexuality. Ad nauseum.
 TheFuryan
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 72
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:11:36 AM

How the human mind evolved over the millenia is one thing. How men think in the 21st c. is quite another.

Men fall in love faster than women. Men are more dependent on their girlfriends for intimacy. Men are more likely to kill themselves when a relationship is over. Men are more likely to remarry after a spouse has died or deserted them.

Men seek love. No back doors necessary. The media (and this forum) loves trafficking in silly, offensive stereotypes about male sexuality. Ad nauseum.



Good back and reread what I said. This time try to understand instead rushing respond. How and why men/women think the way they do in the 21st century has a lot to do with the evolution of human nature shaped by sexual choice. The subconscious mind, believe it or not, is prewired in way to look for certain things in a mate. I could go into what these things are and why men look for them but I I have a feeling that you are stuck on your own view and don't care to see any other view. Can we get this thread back on topic? Thanks.
 demux21
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:36:15 AM
If you present yourself to be confident in how she is handling the situation absolutely. If her prsentation is look I like you and this is what I want then yes. If it is I am doing this in hope that you will see me again or that she is expected to do it then NO.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 74
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:43:37 AM
I’m well aware of evolutionary theory and the influence of the unconscious, Furyan. But responsible adults can still make conscious (ethical) sexual choices.

And I’ve often heard that men seek sex and women seek love. I find that too simplified, too categorical. But I do see how it could be used to rationalize a pump-and-dump.

I think one-night-stands are fine if both parties know it’s just that, going in.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 75
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:17:38 AM
Generational Error - you brought to mind the movies Before Sunrise and the sequel to it, Before Sunset...

As with most things in life, decisions have to be made. But given that each of us is an individual, made up of many different things, each person has to make their own decision. Others may judge, but that is a human condition. We all have to live with ourselves, so the decision is ours to make.

Sex is a primieval drive in all of us. Some are more inclined to want it or need it than others. To be clear, one can have sex without love; just as there can be love without sex. Most of us are guided in terms of sex by our upbringing, followed by our life experiences.

My experience with one gal some time ago was - we met through a dating ad in the local newspaper (remember when you wrote up the ad and it was published in the paper with a FSO (for singles only) number identifier and you wrote a letter, enclosing a dollar to the newpaper who forwarded it on to the ad originator?) - in her letter she stated that she was "slightly over-sexed". I was naive about what that meant, but on our second "date" I found out. Twelve years later we parted ways. That was her and I. But with that experience, I am now a changed person.

As many have written, what is right for some is not for others. The two individuals involved in a relationship have to decide what is right for them as far as it goes in terms of when (or if) to initiate sex.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Putting out too soon????